He's so slow that he takes an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
quote by Edwin W. Edwards
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A monologue on 'nothing in particular
Well you know,
It always begins like this
'The day starts'
Half an hour early for me
Clocks set hour an hour early
The day begins
Well morning starts
With a break of sunlight
Flooding through the cracks
In the blinds
In summer it is always much earlier
Than the pre set time on the alarm clock
Which is primed to go off
Half an hour earlier
Inevitably
The light wakes me at sunrise
Which often occurs around five o'clock
Like some cruel trick
I am woken exactly an hour or is it half an hour
Before my alarm clock goes off, half an hour earlier?
Which is set to go off half an hour early
But that never happens in the summer
The lie in ends up a sleep over
In winter this is a different matter again
With no light
So there I am at five in the morning
exactly or, approximately the time
The sun is meant to set
[bar a second or to or maybe a minute
behind or ahead of prediction]
There I am WIDE AWAKE
No lie in
No chance of sleeping
Again
Exept at the WRONG TIME!
Then I recover
Five minutes behind schedule
pull the blind
make a cup of tea
giving myself exactly
thirty minutes
Before drinking it
to get ready for work
Flossing does not happen until
A much later time
There is a ten minute interval
For toast and tea
And tidying away
My watch is set five minutes ahead
Or maybe three minutes
I leave on time
In time for the bus that leaves
Two minutes early
The next one arrives ten minutes late
The driver
Has donated his brain to medical science
Thirty years prior to his death
Give or take a couple of hours or minutes
He slips into a slow coma behind the steering wheel
The world is in slow motion
Catatonia eclipses the traffic
I am now on time
To be late
despite all my carefully timed efforts
Now that was just the beginning of the morning
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
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25 Minutes To Go
They're buildin' the gallows outside my cell.
I got 25 minutes to go.
And in 25 minutes I'll be in Hell.
I got 24 minutes to go.
Well, they give me some beans for my last meal.
23 minutes to go.
And you know... nobody asked me how I feel.
I got 22 minutes to go.
So, I wrote to the Gov'nor... the whole damned bunch.
Ahhh... 21 minutes to go.
And I call up the Mayor, and he's out to lunch.
I got 20 more minutes to go.
Well, the Sheriff says, 'Boy, I wanna watch you die'.
19 minutes to go.
I laugh in his face... and I spit in his eye.
I got 18 minutes to go.
Well...I call out to the Warden to hear my plea.
17 minute to go.
He says, 'Call me back in a week or three.
You've got 16 minutes to go.'
Well, my lawyer says he's sorry he missed my case.
Mmmm....15 minutes to go.
Yeah, well if you're so sorry, come up and take my place.
I got 14 minutes to go.
Well, now here comes the padre to save my soul
With 13 minutes to go.
And he's talkin' about burnin', but I'm so damned cold.
I got 12 more minutes to go.
Now they're testin' the trap. It chills my spine.
I got 11 minutes to go.
'Cuz the goddamned thing it works just fine.
I got 10 more minutes to go.
I'm waitin' for the pardon... gonna set me free
With 9 more minutes to go.
But this ain't the movies, so to hell with me.
I got 8 more minutes to go.
And now I'm climbin up the ladder with a scaffold peg
With 7 more minutes to go.
I've betta' watch my step or else I'll break my leg.
I got 6 more minutes to go.
Yeah... with my feet on the trap and my head in the noose...
5 more minutes to go.
Well, c'mon somethin' and cut me loose.
I got 4 more minutes to go.
I can see the mountains. I see the sky.
3 more minutes to go.
And it's too damned pretty for a man to die.
i got 2 more minutes to go
I can hear the buzzards... hear the crows.
1 more minute to go.
And now I'm swingin' and here I gooooooooo....
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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The World's Twilight
The hour has come.
What hour?
The two worlds are combining
What worlds?
The worlds of light and dark
Somethings are only visible in the dark or light
The dark, heartless people can't survive in the light
the heartless are trying to kill you,
run to the light
No light may shine on it.
Any lit room is safe
protect your light
Watch your light
let it burn in the night
expect the unexpected
The hour has come
What hour?
Light and dark are combining
Its the hour of Twilight
A very scary and gloomy sight to see
escepially when someone takes it away.
Every world is cut in half
It has a light side and a dark side
Choose what side you will be on.
Always watch your light
poem by Natalie Vail
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I have proved by actual trial that a letter, that takes an hour to write, takes only about 3 minutes to read!
quote by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Half The World
Words by neil peart, music by geddy lee and alex lifeson
Half the world hates
What half the world does every day
Half the world waits
While half gets on with it anyway
Half the world lives
Half the world makes
Half the world gives
While the other half takes
Half the world is
Half the world was
Half the world thinks
While the other half does
Half the world talks
With half a mind on what they say
Half the world walks
With half a mind to run away
Half the world lies
Half the world learns
Half the world flies
As half the world turns
Half the world cries
Half the world laughs
Half the world tries
To be the other half
Half of us divided like a torn-up photograph half of us are
Trying to reach the other half
Half the world cares
While half the world is wasting the day
Half the world shares
While half the world is stealing away
song performed by by Rush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Half The World
Half the world lives,
Half the world makes,
Half the world gives
While the other half takes.
Half the world hates,
Half the world runs away,
Half the world's late,
Half the world praises the day.
Half the world is,
Half the world was,
Half the world thinks,
Half the world does.
Half the world lies,
Half the world burns,
Half the world cries
While the other half turns.
Half the world cares,
Half the world weeps,
Half the world shares,
Half the world keeps.
Half the world sings,
Half the world laughs,
Half the world brings,
Half the world tries to be the other half.
End.
Too High
Oh your bones are brittle
Inside you
Wrap so soft your blood is running
Ill be there
If youre moving slowly
Will you still get there
Ill be there
Such a strong desire
Hunger
All you need
To hope you keep your head yeah
As the slow hand quickens
What youve done with all those around you
Hope for always that someone
Will come and see you
Well Ill be there
To watch you saltry turning
Seething
Ill be there
Minutes hold on to hours
Gets you twisting
All you need
To hope you keep your head yeah oh
The slow hand quickens
Howd you leave it
With the love you lost
You made them crawl to be without you
The slow hand quickens
Yes
Sand is empty
In the hourglass
Ill be there
To turn it over and over
In your head
So you keep the hope
You get your day yeah oh
As the slow hand quickens
Oh you see
Too hard to break
Too cold to burn
Afraid your chance is gone
The wires are crossed
Your mouth is lost
You fear youve left it far too long
The minutes pass
The hours are gone
So hard to find your way alone
As the slow hands quicken
The slow hands quicken
These slow hands quicken
song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I realistically eat every hour and 15 minutes. I watch the clock to see when I eat again. I'm almost upset that I'm not eating now.
quote by Michael Todd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eight minutes past the hour here in Belgium - and presumably eight minutes past the hour everywhere in the world.
quote by Murray Walker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Half An Hour Of Your Happiness
Your heart is in my hand
I am looking after half an hour of your happiness
I am imagining your sad smile
It seems you depend on me too much
I can feel your heart beating
I am putting it into your half an hour of happiness
It is in a safe place in my hand
It seems you depend on me too much
The rhythm of your heart is getting faster
It is happy in your half an hour of happiness
They are in my shaking unsteady hand
It seems you depend on me too much
Your heart wants to jump out of the cage
Called your half an hour of happiness
I am holding them with both hands and trembling
It seems you depend on me too much
Your heart has gone crazy and I do not know why
I wonder if it will survive your half an hour of happiness
I open my hands and I see two embraced hearts
It seems I depend on you too much
poem by Jankovic Zoran
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The young people look great on television. They're youthful and have a lot of zip and energy, but when you see them live, they can only do about 20 minutes because they haven't got the training to hold an audience for an hour and a half or so.
quote by Tony Bennett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like young actors because they're so unspoiled, not like some of those actors who are about half an hour into their fifteen minutes of fame by the time they get to me.
quote by John Hughes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Is Just Minutes into His Game
oh yes he is just minutes
into this game of angels,
devils and humans
he was only half hour
into those dinosuar thing
before deciding they
were going nowhere
and wasting his time
oh yes he finished them
in a flash of fire storms
from the sky
is he going to do
the same this time around?
oh yes, it looks like it
the latest creatures seem
to have a brain but are
using them to hurt
each other no ends
a dog eat dog world
dinosaur eat dinosaur world
no better, no better
just wait for that flash
of flames from the sky
perhaps he is putting
aside for us two of his minutes
beware, beware, beware
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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With any half-hour comedy, it kind of takes on its own life and finds itself.
quote by Seth MacFarlane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can't expect to take a definitive image in half an hour. It takes days, often years.
quote by Fay Godwin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Even Green Bears Like Anecdotes About Them
Which college student would turn down even
a few dollars? A notice goes, up, Dr. Wegner
wants some volunteers for half-an-hour, most,
in the Cognitive Research lab…
so when it’s my turn in the queue,
I go in and he says, now go in there
for fifteen minutes, only one instruction,
don’t think about a green bear…
so, money for old rope, with bear attached,
I go in there, check every few minutes that
I haven’t thought about some idiotic green bear…
come out, he’s sitting there with all his smug
students and assistants, looking just as if
I were some green bear, about to amuse them hugely…
so to shut their silly faces up, I don’t wait, but say,
if you’re going to ask me did I think about
that green bear no I didn’t once I checked
every few minutes to see if I’d thought about it no…
and they all laughed…ticked the boxes, wrote
in their don’t- I- love-my-Prof little notebooks with
their smug little smiles to each other…
now I go to sleep
thinking of feeding them one by one
to that green bear, wow they taste good…
I mean, who in their right mind
ever thinks of some green bear…
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Highway
Verse 1:
I love a fast car and you got a fast ride so
Won't you take me for a spin out on ya highway
Cuz, it's raining outside and
I know that a drive might sound a little crazy but
I feel that it's time
So, speed it up
Slow it down
Put it back, in reverse
My directions, pay attention
To my every word
We can bump, we can swerve
But watch out for that curve
On ya highway
Chorus:
Engines, roaring
Bodies, exploring
Hold on tight were going all the way
We can go 80 miles an hour
90 miles an hour
As long as ya driving then it's o.k. cause I
Love it riding on ya highway
Verse 2:
Now, lets take it nice and slow
And I'll tell you were to go
I'll whisper to you softly when I see the signs
I, look over to see you and your checking out the rear view
I'll control the stick you drive between the lines
So, speed it up, slow it down
Put it back, in reverse
My directions
Pay attention to my every word
We can bump, we can swerve
But watch out for that curve
On ya highway
(Chorus)
Bridge:
Take me to another place (somewhere)
Where you can touch my face (somewhere)
Where you can kiss my waist (somewhere)
That I can show you
(Chorus)
song performed by by Christina Milian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ten Minutes Aint Enough
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not drifting.
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Some may wish a quick...
Beginning that swiftly ends.
With nothing to explore.
But an exit out a door!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not just there to lift and drift.
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Cool It Now
Everybodys saying, seeing things
Without knowing that life brings a change
And theyve been checking all the time
My friends say Im love sick cause i...
All I keep thinking about is her in my arms
(got to see what love is all about)
And I wont be the same until she is mine
And my friends keep telling me to
You got to cool it now
You got to cool it now
Ooooooh watch out
Youre gonna loose control
Cool it now
You got to slow it down
Slow it down...
Youre gonna fall in love
Everyday I walk her home from school
And she tells me how she really feels
And theres no doubt in my mind
That this girl is one of a kind
Cause all I keep thinking about is her in my arms
And I wont feel the same until she is mine
You got to cool it now
You got to cool it now
Ooooooh watch out
Youre gonna loose control
Cool it now
You got to slow it down
Slow it down...
Youre gonna fall in love
All I keep thinking about is her in my arms
(got to see what love is all about)
And Ill never be the same until you are mine
And my friends keep telling me..
When ya got a girl who takes her time
You must slow the pace you cant mess with her mind
If she feels the same shell letcha know
Just prepare yourself or be ready to go
And I hope this message stays in your mind
Cause you almost lost a girl who is right on time
Theres one more thing that ya got to know
Just cool it down and stay in control
You got to cool it now
You got to cool it now
Ooooooh watch out
Youre gonna loose control
Cool it now
You got to slow it down
Slow it down...
Youre gonna fall in love
All I keep thinking about is her in my arms
(got to see what love is all about)
And Ill never be the same until you are mine
And my friends keep telling me..
You got to cool it now
You got to cool it now
Ooooooh watch out
Youre gonna loose control
Cool it now
You got to slow it down
Slow it down...
Youre gonna fall in love
Why you all coming down on me
Tryin to tell me how my life is supposed to be
I know youre only trying to help me out
Tryin to show me what life is really about
But this time Im gonna make it on my own
So why dontcha fellaz just leave me alone
Ronnie, bobby, ricky and mike
If I love the girl who cares who you like
Cool it now
Cool it now
Ooooooh watch out
Gonna lose control
Cool it now
Slow it down
Slow it down...
Youre gonna fall in love
song performed by by New Edition
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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