While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Related quotes
Sex Never Goes Out Of Fashion
She's the kind of girl who likes to do it stand up
From the back or anyway you want it, love
From the top if you keep it going all night
You're as good as the next for a fun time
Lookie here like a rabbit on the dancefloor
Party girl like you comin' in the back door
"c'mon boy, give it good, give an encore.."
Never leave a hungry sister begging one more
You keep it good and she'll beat you at your own game
Flip a switch and she's crying out her own name
Keep a lady happy as a little lamb
Give her head and you're riding on a sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
Wham bam slam it like a mama's man
Baby's on her back doin' the can-can
Such a babe-licious poco loco
Make her bob, make her beg and sweat it hardcore
Honky tonky lovin' keep her trembling
Funky style's never out of fashion, man
Keep it fresh with something for the weekend
Get some, daddy... You're riding on a sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
It's a sure shot... Honey, it's a sure shot
It's a sure shot, sure shot, sure shot
A little bit more
(Down her legs)
A little bit more
(Down her back)
A little bit more
(Down her neck)
A little bit more
(Down her arms)
A little bit more
(Down her breast)
A little bit m
song performed by by Garbage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Decided
[Chorus]
I decided to stay home tonite
I decided I'ma treat you right
I decided to be there for you
Decided to be on my P's and Q's
I decided to give up my friends
Decided I'ma take you out weekends
Decided to give you a reason to trust
These are decisions that I make for love
[Verse 1]
Enough is enough no more running around
(Searchin' for what's right here at home)
Because my luck is 'bout to turn around
(And I just can't keep doin' you wrong)
Girl I take it for granted that you will be here always
(Tired of this ego trip)
'Cause soon you'll be searchin' for another man
And I just can't have that happen to me
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
Now I've had about all that I can stand no more
(I'm turnin' in my playa's card)
See I'm retirin' from the secret life I chose
(Cause I just can't keep breakin' your heart)
It was silly of me to be the way that I was
(First was blind
song performed by by R. Kelly from TP-2.COM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pass The Gun Around
Sonny wakes up in the morning feeling kinda sick
Needs a little Stoli Vadka, needs it really quick
Sees a little blood run from his eyes
Feels a little hotel paralyzed
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, you gotta
Pass the gun around
And throw me in the local river, let me float away
I wake up watching cartoons... the television's on
There's a couple of party balloons and all my money's gone
She was just a reason to unwind
And actually the last thing I could find
Why don't you, pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, you better
Pass the gun around
And dump me in the local river, let me float away
Float away, ah float away
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, why don't you
Pass the gun around
Throw me in the local river, let me float away
Sonny wakes up in the morning, there's a stranger in his bed
Someone's pounding on the hotel door, he wishes he was dead
I've had so many blackout nights before
I don't think I can take this anymore
Why don't you, pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, why don't you
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, we're gonna
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, we're gonna
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, you gotta
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, you gotta
Pass the gun around
Give everyone a shot... give everyone a shot, you gotta
Pass the gun around
Da Da
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Judge
Judge is not here to decide
Who is winner and who is loser.
Judge is here to decide
Who is in right point.
No judge is empower to
Pronounced death sentences
No judge has got power
To give life to the lifeless.
Judge can not decide
The synonyms and antonyms
Judge can not say
The right source for right word.
Judge is not judge
So long as the judge is mortal
Judge is judge
If judge is eternal.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Decided
I decided not to cry
'cause I know
you cannot wipe my tears
I decided not to ask
'cause I know you cannot give
I decided not to give
'cause I know you will reject
I decided not to speak
'cause I know
you will be...hurt.
I decided to decide
'cause I know....
I have to.
poem by Marites C. Cayetano
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When Kubrick decided to go the black comedy route with his movie, he thought of me to give it that flavor.
quote by Terry Southern
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Do not Judge me (First Poem Submitted)
As I stand before you
with the reality of the shame of my sins in my arms.
Do not judge me.
You do not know me.
You do not know the pains I have suffered,
As you look at me like I am a demon from the pits of Hell.
Do not judge me.
You do not know me.
Picture youself alone as I, needing the comfort and touch of another.
Would you not do the same?
Do not judge me.
You do not know me.
And my child has already been marked like a person with the plague.
Not given a chance,
Do not judge him,
You do not know him.
We all have sinned and it is not our job to judge,
So do not judge me.
You do not know me.
(I wrote this after watching Scarlett Letter)
poem by Tamara Daniel
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Always Get What I Want
Every now and then we all want something
Even if there's no way of gettin' it
If i stomp my feet could that make me
Be the way around it
Could I get myself around it
Get me what I want
Everything I don't got
So give me what I want
Cause I'm a big shot
Don't wanna always have to be so nice
Don't wanna hear you say well that's just life
I'm drying out when I open my mouth
I make my way around it
I always make my way around it
Get me what I want
Everything I don't got
Get me what I want
Cause I'm a big shot
So give me what I want
I always get what I want
You don't want to see me when
I don't get what I want
That's not what you want
I'm not about to take no for an answer
no
If I tell you I can't I'm still gonna go
I did it all by myself
I found my way around it
Get me what I want
Everything I don't got
Get me what I want
Cause I'm a big shot
So give me what I want
I always get what I want
You don't want to see me when
I don't get what I want
That's not what you want
It's not too lovely
It could start to get ugly
It really bugs me
If I don't get my way
Get me what I want
Everything I don't got
So give me what I want
Cause I'm a big shot
So give me what I want
I always get what I want
You don't want to see me when
I don't get what I want
That's not what you want
If I don't get what i want
That's not what you want
song performed by by Avril Lavigne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Suggested
Today...
It is not appropriate to be honest.
Or imply it in retrospect.
We live in times
In which truth is deluded,
With a mixture of suggestions...
Followed by denials confessed!
Suggested is our need for patience...
To allow inconsistency to cease.
Suggested is a resistance...
To want a stop to fighting,
That only increases the movement of the weak.
Suggested is a greatness kept,
By the spilling of blood and sorrows wept.
Suggested is we maintain,
A mental stressing drain!
To keep thieves looting resources...
And driving those of consciousness,
Further into an abyss!
Today...
It is not appropriate to be honest.
Or imply it in retrospect.
We live in times
In which truth is deluded,
With a mixture of suggestions...
Followed by denials confessed!
And deeper with resolutions,
Providing an absence of thoughtful solutions...
Are those who lead pleading,
We can succeed by sheer request!
And that's all they are suggesting we do...
As those who view ahead of us coming,
A deadend awaiting with an awarded mess!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Word In The Flames
You stand alone, carrying everything you've never known.
You stand alone, awaiting everything that comes hereafter.
You stand alone, swaying not in heat or strife.
You stand alone, telling of nothing that lies within you.
You stand alone, letting no one else come after you.
You stand alone, entering the empty skies.
poem by Stephen Carey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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On The Other Side Of The Door
If it takes one key,
To open one door...
With opportunities awaiting,
On the other side of it.
WHY would anyone choose to sit,
Ignoring what has been given...
Because they have decided,
If what is on the other side...
Would be something,
They would choose to like.
And...this is BEFORE,
Any approach was made...
By them towards the door.
If it takes one key,
To open one door...
With opportunities awaiting,
On the other side of it.
And one does not take advantage of this,
But wishes to be given clues and hints?
That key...
That opens that one door,
With opportunities awaiting?
Has been given to someone...
Looking for their ship to sail in.
Even if that ship was on the other side of the door.
'Captain?
We are still awaiting for the arrival of your chosen passenger.
Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding? '
~Do not worry about it.
We will cater to the ones who did use their keys.
We are not here to convince.
Just service.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shot Of Love
(come on now,
Come on, come on, yeah, ow!)
Come on honey, take a trip with me
Well take a double shot of ectasy
Ill drink some water from a wooden cup
And keep a rockin til the sun comes up
Chorus:
And I warn you
Its the best shot of your life
And I warn you
Its the best shot of your life
Shot of love
Shot of love
Rock you little lady make you blow and bleed
A little bit of what you need is guaranteed
Come on now honey well get full of desire
A humping and a bumping till we start a fire (a huffin and a puffin) ?
Chorus
(shot of love - Im gonna make you plead)
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, awright ooh hoo hoo baby oh baby)
Chorus
Shot of love
Like to plead?
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
A humping and pumping got you jumping
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
A little bit of what you need is guaranteed
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
Let me warn you, Im coming for you
Shot of love, shot of love, shot of love
Shot of love, shot of love
Come on give me shot of love
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed.
quote by Carl Reiner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Plaintiff
He said to the Judge; “I beg your pardon sir,
She is from a different planet.
I have never met such a character in my lifetime.
We came to know each other since our childhood.
But still I am unable to understand her.
She is very placid and platonic.
So you must forgive us.”
'This is very complicating and I don’t see a wrong behaviour
of your wife.” Judge suggested.
“Again, I beg your pardon sir it’s not my wife and I am
Explaining about your wife”
The plaintiff replied plaintively.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Give Me One More Shot
(Teddy Gentry/Randy Owen/Ronnie Rogers)
Life ain't all that easy I can testify to that
It's been up and down and round and round to get to where I'm at
If you could see how I'm living in this old car I drive
Well you'd probably wonder and even ponder why I even wanna stay alive
So give me one more shot I'll give it all I've got
Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise I pray
Give me one more chance I'll learn to dance the dance
Well I'm satisfied just being alive give me one more day
Well I could complain about taxes or the weather we're having today
Go on and on about things that are wrong from New York to L.A.
Well that's just not my nature to sit around feeling sad
We're only here for awhile so why not smile hey living ain't all that bad
So give me one more shot I'll give it all I've got
Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise I pray
Give me one more chance I'll learn to dance the dance
Well I'm satisfied just being alive give me one more day
When I look around there's lots of folks worse off than me
So I just thank the good Lord and ask him please
So give me one more shot I'll give it all I've got
Let me open my eyes to a new sunrise I pray
Give me one more chance I'll learn to dance the dance
Well I'm satisfied just being alive give me one more day
Well I'm satisfied just being alive give me one more day
Give me one more shot I'll give it all I've got
Give me one more day
Show me the way and give me one more day
Give me one more shot
song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For the Forsaken One
I forsake thee even when you had to be something,
So avert your eyed face and pretend you laugh,
Sell a single knife-point, give in to the old and new,
To sportly people who never ever give as much in quantity,
And in quality!
I forsake my life if it means to judge my inventory,
And keep instead for a change, to get more and too more,
Thus the provisions are decided to last for all time
To come!
poem by Naveed Akram
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5. The Cat
The cat shot over the sleeping dog
And caught it with his paw
The cat shot over the table
Dog chased him through the door
The cat shot over the TV
And Landed in a chair
The cat shot over the ceiling light
Springs shot him through the air
The cat shot over the mirror
A cat gave him a fright
The cat shot over his image
But didn’t want to fight
The cat shot over the fireplace
Burnt tail on red hot coal
The cat shot over the hearthrug
Like a firework on a roll
The cat shot over the window ledge
Burnt curtains caught in the nets
The cat shot over in dad’s old car
For a visit to the vets
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
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A Challenge to the Dark
shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like the affectionate mom
planting her kiss
everywhere over her sweet child
inspired by
A Challenge To The Dark
shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like a flower in the dance
Charles Bukowski
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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At those times I got into... I suppose you call it a rut. I used to do comedy, comedy, comedy and I suddenly thought I ought to break away from this somehow.
There's a lot of comedy in Intermission but it's got this depth. It's not comedy for comedy's sake - it's informed by something else. I like stuff like that.
quote by Cillian Murphy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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