A cake is a very good test of an oven: if it browns too much on one side and not on the other, it's not your fault - you need to have your oven checked.
quote by Delia Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
A Oven Liet
Where the flesh goes,
The mind follows.
The body is weak.
Why she left me alone.
How she got sick.
And no one calls the phone.
Never had to cook with her around
Now I found a light in the most unexpected place
The oven.
I sit in the dark tonight
In the kitchen
With only the oven light
While I try to mend.
And I brood like a chicken with her eggs
My seat feels like it's hatching
My bottom is burning
My soul squirming like a worm
Or a snake.
Yellow.
The color of companionship.
Cowardly, fearful, impertinent.
I stare into the oven
Light.
poem by Eon Ezkiel
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Stand-Ins
In the dream
the swastika is neon
and flashes like a strobe light
into my eyes, all colors,
all vibrations
and I see the killer in him
and he turns on an oven,
an oven, an oven, an oven,
and on a pie plate he sticks
in my Yellow Star
and then
then when it is ready for serving—
this dream goes off into the wings
and on stage The Cross appears,
with Jesus sticking to it
and He is breathing
and breathing
and He is breathing
and breathing
and then He speaks,
a kind of whisper,
and says . . .
This is the start.
This is the end.
This is a light.
This is a start.
I woke.
I did not know the hour,
an hour of night like thick scum
but I considered the dreams,
the two: Swastika, Crucifix,
and said: Oh well,
it doesn't belong to me,
if a cigar can be a cigar
then a dream can be a dream.
Right?
Right?
And went back to sleep
and another start.
poem by Anne Sexton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To one who has a pie in the oven you may give a bit of your cake.
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
(Kinky Friedman)
You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your Maiden Form for Lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to Adam, ?Here's an apple you horse?
And Delilah defoliated Samson's moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.
quote by Lesley Boone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Get Your Biscuits In The Oven & Your Buns In The Bed
(kinky friedman)
You uppity women I dont understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
Youd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning youre out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your maiden form for lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman thats ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin him that hes wrong.
Eve said to adam, heres an apple you horse
And delilah defoliated samsons moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you cant love a male chauvinist
Youd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Difficult To Relate To This Concept
It takes know-how with specifics,
To create a delicious cake.
And only those experienced,
Know what it takes.
First a mixture of ingredients is needed,
With a whipping up of batter,
Allowing the cake to bake for taste.
Ultimately satisfying the anticipation.
However there are those impatient and can not wait,
Who find it difficult to relate to this concept.
And they are the ones who refuse to comprehend...
That the oven has to be heated,
BEFORE the cake goes in.
'So...
Why are all the people protesting outside? '
They are the ones who have decided,
The baker should be replaced.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Catman
Catman, you're looking cool today,
We say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my hangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So keep your high-heel boots and your knee-high mind,
Come up to my pad and see my work,
Go for a meal and hear my joke,
Or get in a bag and take a poke,
But don't be too clever or we'll kick your fillies in.
Look out, look out,
The rosies are coming to town.
Look out, catman, look out, catman,
The rosies are flashing along.
Catman, we feel a fool today,
I say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my wangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So leave your well polished tail and your uptight suit,
Show us some funnies that are better than daddies,
Or bake us some cakes that are better than mommies,
Or give us your witties that are trapped in your willies,
But don't be too clever or we'll scratch your goodies out.
Watch out, watch out,
The rosies are riding the town.
Watch out, catman, watch out, catman,
The rosies are slashing about.
Catman, shining your tools today,
They say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my fangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So save your thigh high thoughts and your banana skin,
We'll burn your pansies and give you a bug,
We'll squeeze your lemon and give you a mug,
We'll cut your daisies and give you a slug,
And don't be too clever or we'll blow your sillies off.
Keep out, keep out,
The rosies are passing the town.
Keep out, catman, keep out, catman,
The rosies are bashing around.
Coochy coochy coo, bunny bunny boo, patti patti poo,
Catman! catman! where are you?
Don't be a prune, catman, give us all you've got.
Your blueberry eyes and your evergreen lies.
'cause after all, by this fall you might grow too old,
And you can't ask your mommy to use an old fruity in her pie.
Patter cake, patter cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as slow as you can.
Pat it, and prick it, and mark it with 'o'
And put it in the oven for me and my mo.
Batter cake, batter cake, baker's girl,
Fake me a cake as fast as you curl.
Bat it, and whip it, and mark it with blood
And throw it in the oven with trickles and mud.
Wetter cake, wetter cake, baker's boy,
Make me a cake that's sweet as your toy.
Wet it, and slick it, and mark it with 'p'
And leave it in the oven for lizzie and me.
Catman! catman!
Hey, dumballs, get me a pair of rubber dolls, will you!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Man -
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Catman (The Rosies Are Coming)
Catman, youre looking cool today,
We say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my hangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So keep your high-heel boots and your knee-high mind,
Come up to my pad and see my work,
Go for a meal and hear my joke,
Or get in a bag and take a poke,
But dont be too clever or well kick your fillies in.
Look out, look out,
The rosies are coming to town.
Look out, catman, look out, catman,
The rosies are flashing along.
Catman, we feel a fool today,
I say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my wangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So leave your well polished tail and your uptight suit,
Show us some funnies that are better than daddies,
Or bake us some cakes that are better than mommies,
Or give us your witties that are trapped in your willies,
But dont be too clever or well scratch your goodies out.
Watch out, watch out,
The rosies are riding the town.
Watch out, catman, watch out, catman,
The rosies are slashing about.
Catman, shining your tools today,
They say, catman, umm, catman, umm.
My name is rosy and my fangs on you,
Catman, umm, catman.
So save your thigh high thoughts and your banana skin,
Well burn your pansies and give you a bug,
Well squeeze your lemon and give you a mug,
Well cut your daisies and give you a slug,
And dont be too clever or well blow your sillies off.
Keep out, keep out,
The rosies are passing the town.
Keep out, catman, keep out, catman,
The rosies are bashing around.
Coochy coochy coo, bunny bunny boo, patti patti poo,
Catman! catman! where are you?
Dont be a prune, catman, give us all youve got.
Your blueberry eyes and your evergreen lies.
cause after all, by this fall you might grow too old,
And you cant ask your mommy to use an old fruity in her pie.
Patter cake, patter cake, bakers man,
Bake me a cake as slow as you can.
Pat it, and prick it, and mark it with o
And put it in the oven for me and my mo.
Batter cake, batter cake, bakers girl,
Fake me a cake as fast as you curl.
Bat it, and whip it, and mark it with blood
And throw it in the oven with trickles and mud.
Wetter cake, wetter cake, bakers boy,
Make me a cake thats sweet as your toy.
Wet it, and slick it, and mark it with p
And leave it in the oven for lizzie and me.
Catman! catman!
Hey, dumballs, get me a pair of rubber dolls, will you!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Man -
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
Catman!
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wise Giver....
this is your rice cake
i am handing this to you
this is all yours
on these conditions:
you will not eat it
you have to guard it against
the flies and ants
take care of it
do not eat it for i do not allow it
it gets consumed and
then be gone
and that is bad for you
& me
at night
guard it still from mosquitoes
for they bring diseases
see to it that you heat it
in the oven
lest it gets moldy and
become spoiled
against the light
by that oil lamp
the rice cake casts a shadow
on the table
that is what you can eat
that alone
now partake
of my kindness
satisfy your hunger
on that shadow
slice it with a knife
and on small chunks
feed your mouth
nourish your body
till that rice cake is gone.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't exactly know what it means to be ready. A cake when the oven timer goes off? Am I fully baked, or only half-baked?
quote by Jessica Savitch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stand Together(song)
Fresh out the oven
and baked like new
I do a wake and bake
for all of you
I become pleasant
and present
Aware of the peasant
who are always neglected
and some how uneffected
Able to live survive
Revive
No divide
Will reside
if we all just stand together
Alright...just stand together
(I will be on your side)
Just stand together
(I'll give you support)
Just stand together
Comin' fresh out of the oven
woke up to some lovin'
I declared my time to you
I was hoping that we grew
together not apart
It felt right from the start
Livin' in this crazy world
trying to get ahead
But everything always
seems dead
Shells that bleed
With the ability to move
and act
The streets are pact
Cause love is lost
cause we don't
stand together
Alright....Just stand together
poem by Cokbod Lodwogo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take Me Now,
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
What you waiting for?
I know you're watching me
Hey boy, come on and take me now
What you waiting for?
I know you're watching me
Hey boy, come on and take me now
Can I talk to you for a minute
You've been looking all night for your shining star
Well baby here I am, so why you waiting?
Step on over, let me show you how bad you are
Just let me take the lead
All you gotta do is let your mind be free
Lets hit the floor and cause a scene
Get real wet if you know what I mean
What you say baby?
(And she said)
Take me now
I'm hungry for your loving
(And she said)
Show me how
You got me working, honey
(And she said)
Right now
I'm hot just like an oven
(And she said)
So take me now
Boy you make me feel like I gotta dance
I gotta dance, gotta dance baby, I gotta dance...
I feel good to you, you try to hide it
And I can tell by the way you push up close to me
Your body temperature, is arising
Something's going down as far as I can see
Just let me take the lead
All you gotta do is let your mind be free
Lets hit the floor and cause a scene
Get real wet if you know what I mean
What you say baby?
(And she said)
Take me now
I'm hungry for your loving
(And she said)
Show me how
You got me working, honey
(And she said)
Right now
I'm hot just like an oven
(And she said)
So take me now
Boy make me feel like I gotta dance
You know
Don't I
Say don't I make you feel like you gotta dance
Once I get to know ya
(No)
I'm gonna show ya
(No)
That there's no better way
(Yea)
Lets dance the night away
(Yea)
I wanna control ya
(No)
Just wanna hold ya
(No)
Dance the night away
So what you say baby, what you say
(What you saying to me)
(And she said)
Take me now
(Oh)
I'm hungry for your loving
(Hungry for you)
(And she said)
Show me how
(Oh)
You got me working, honey
(Got me working)
(And she said)
Right now
(Oh)
I'm hot just like an oven
(Hot just like an oven)
(And she said)
So take me now
Boy you make me feel like I gotta dance
(And she said)
Take me now
(Oh)
I'm hungry for your loving
(Hungry for you)
(And she said)
Show me how
(Oh)
You got me working, honey
(Got me working)
(And she said)
Right now
(Oh)
I'm hot just like an oven
(And she said)
So take me now
Boy you make me feel like I gotta dance
Like you gotta dance, like you gotta dance, like you gotta dance, no...
Like you gotta dance, like you gotta dance, like you gotta dance, no...
Here we go now
Oh, oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
I'm like a hurricane
Just coasting along
You better grab me girl
I hope you take me now
I'm like a hurricane
Just coasting along
You better grab me girl
I hope you take me now
I'm like a hurricane
Just coasting along
You better grab me girl
I hope you take me now
I'm like a hurricane
Just coasting along
You better grab me girl
Ttttttake me now
Take me now
I'm hungry for you loving
Show me how
You got me working, honey
Right now
I'm hot just like an oven
So take me now
Take me now
Take me now
Take me now
I'm hungry for you loving
Show me how
You got me working, honey
Right now
I'm hot just like an oven
So take me now
Boy you make me feel like I gotta dance
song performed by by Justin Timberlake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Redefine A Re-alignment Of Things
To redefine a re-alignment of things to come,
To do to get done with a fresh outlook...
That appears to be organized and knowledgeable,
Is to know how to bake a cake from scratch.
But the itch to do that and deliver an accepting taste,
Seems not to be of benefit and too much of a waste...
For those who wish to lead with grandma's old recipes.
And with outdated sentiments too stale but used.
Even they are trying to find sense to make...
In times when the eating of cake,
Can not be faked...
For those demanding what has been promised,
From those making promises who have never been honest.
As an unbelievable heat increases in the kitchen.
And although they are dressed to make impressions,
No one knows a thing about the use of an oven or stove.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Old Camp-Oven
WE DON’T keep a grand piano in our hut beside the creek,
And I’m pretty certain Hannah couldn’t bang it, anyhow,
But we’ve got one box of music, and I’d rather hear its squeak
Than the daisiest cantata that’s been fashioned up to now.
It’s an old camp-oven merely, with a handle made of wire,
But no organ built could nearly compensate to me for it
When I come off graft and find it playing tunes before the fire,
And I’m feeling sort of vacant, but just wonder fully fit.
In its sizzle, sizzle, sizzle,
There’s a thousand little airs,
And no man can sit and grizzle
’Bout his troubles and his cares
While the flames are gaily winding,
And the tea is down to brew,
And the old camp-oven’s grinding
All the reels he ever knew.
When the wet winds meet and whip me in the early winter nights,
And the hissing hailstones clip me all the way across the flat,
As I battle for’ards, water-logged, toward the beckoning lights,
There is always there a welcome to console a chap for that.
For my little wife is beaming brisk and bright beside the lamp,
And the old camp-oven’s going. Gosh! I feel just like a kid
As I peel and sluice so slippy, and I hear the storm winds vamp
To the singing of the oven when the missus lifts the lid.
There’s a sizzle and a splutter
And a whirr of many harps;
Where’s the instrument can utter
Such a maze of flats and sharps?
Not for me the great creations
When the old camp-oven plays
‘Home Sweet Home,’ with variations,
At the end of working days.
In the evenings dim and hazy, stretched outside along a butt,
Feeling reasonably lazy, blowing clouds that curl and climb,
I can hear the old camp-oven on the logs before the hut
Ripping out a mellow chorus that just suits the place and time.
If we strike it in the ranges, or The Windmill turns out well,
I suppose there’ll be some changes, and I’ll want to make things gee;
But the time will never happen when I’ll be so steep a swell
That the old camp-oven’s measure won’t be melody to me.
’Neath its bubble, bubble, bubble,
There’s the lilt of jigs and reels;
All the common kind of trouble
That the horney-handed feels
Is wiped out in half a minute
By the restfulness it brings,
And the peaceful rapture in it
When the old camp-oven sings.
poem by Edward George Dyson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Copy Copycat...
do not ever think that
putting your head in the oven
does magic
to the blandness of your poetry.
copycat.
move on,
our business is originality.
try other devices.
authenticity is the key.
be good.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Better Hang Up
Out here in the country where the weather gets so mean she thinks about the places that she aint never seen she knows that shes married but she cant remember why and she wonders what it might
Like with some other guy
And though shes hotter than an oven just to fill your lovin cup if a man answers, you better hang up
You better hang up you better hang up you better hang up you better hang up
Youre from new york city where they dont say no prayers anything goes and nobody cares and the country girl might thrill ya but you better pass her by cause her ol man love to kill ya for th
K thats in your eye
And though youre hotter than an oven just to fill her lovin cup if a man answers, you better hang up
You better hang up you better hang up you better hang up you better hang up
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bacon Biscuit Blues
Put your biscuits in the oven
Honey, put your buns in bed
I wanna come inside your kitchen
Wanna taste your shortening bread
I want to jump into your skillet
Honey, tickle your home fries
I gotta hambone working fill it
Wont you try it on for size
Uh uh uh uh uh
Baby ask me no questions
Ill tell you no lies
Put your biscuits in the oven
Honey, watch my dumplin
Rise up - early in the morning
Rise up - late at night
Rise up - gotta get me a warning
Rise up - gonna whet your appetite
Gonna shake and bake you honey
I want a catcher in the rye
I wanna sop up all your gravy
From your deep dish apple pie
So open up your menu
I wanna slice your honey dew
I love it honey when you
Do me like you do
Uh uh uh uh uh
And if you ask me no questions
And tell me no lies
Put your biscuits in the oven
Honey, watch my dumplin
Rise up - early in the morning
Rise up - late late late at night
Rise up - giving me no warning
Rise up - gonna wet your appetite
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Ever Real
Love in its own oven doth bake
Loving not for own's possessive sake
Ever stumble, slip, bend, but will never break
In its deepest slumber will keep awake
Breaking not what its loving hands doth make
Giving all and seeking none to take
Upon i love, stands even when all at stake
Such is love, ever real and never fake
But when stumbling, bend and later will break
Then it's love given for one's own selfish sake
Whose love its own oven doth not bake
Which in a wink will fold and never wake
But me, O! me be the one who must take
That love, God in his grandeur doth make!
poem by Okonkwo Osamedua. Allen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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American Made
Give me some antiseptic
To wash this headache away
Give me a syringe
To inject the pain
Give me something pretty I hope I'll never be
I'd rather be creepy and very strange
Give me a cake that I can mix and bake
In a Betty Crocker oven that I will break
Bake it up and we will
Stab Stab Stab
Come on
song performed by by Jack Off Jill from Sexless Demons And Scars
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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