In that I found being able to talk to my family about my feelings, praying for strength and realizing that our lives have a deep purpose and the journey of our lives is to find out what that is and express it, was the only way I could have gotten through it.

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Strength, Courage, Wisdom

Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that Ive been hiding for much too long
cause Ive been, too afraid to let it show
cause Im scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
Its time to step out on faith, Ive gotta show my faith
Its been illusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
Ive gotta step out on faith, its time to show my faith
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And its been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Behind my pride there lives a me, that knows humility
Inside my voice there is a soul, and in my soul there is a voice
But Ive been, too afraid to make a choice
cause Im scared of the things that I might be missing
Running too fast to stop and listen
Its time to step out on faith, Ive gotta show my faith
Its been illusive for so long but freedom is mine today
Ive gotta step out on faith its time to show my faith
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And its been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Bridge
I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see
cause I know, now that Ive opened up my heart I know that
Anything I want can be, so let it be, so let it be.
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Its been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, wisdom
Its been inside of me all along, everyday Im praying for
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
To find me, yeah,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Vamp
I found it in me, I found it finally
Im sure to keep it cause I like it, I say thank you

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Strength, Courage, & Wisdom

Inside my head there lives a dream that i want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that i've been hiding for much too long
cause i've been, too afraid to let it show
cause i'm scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
It's time to step out on faith, i've gotta show my faith
It's been illusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith, it's time to show my faith
Procrastination had me down but look what i have found, i found
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And it's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Behind my pride there lives a me, that knows humility
Inside my voice there is a soul, and in my soul there is a voice
But i've been, too afraid to make a choice
cause i'm scared of the things that i might be missing
Running too fast to stop and listen
It's time to step out on faith, i've gotta show my faith
It's been illusive for so long but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith it's time to show my faith
Procrastination had me down but look what i have found, i found
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And it's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Bridge
I close my eyes and i think of all the things that i want to see
cause i know, now that i've opened up my heart i know that
Anything i want can be, so let it be, so let it be.
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
It's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, wisdom
It's been inside of me all along, everyday i'm praying for
Chorus
Strength, courage, and wisdom
To find me, yeah,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me
Vamp
I found it in me, i found it finally
I'm sure to keep it' cause i like it, i say thank you

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With Opportunities Given

Some have found it comforting,
To sit and mourn the passing of time.
With wishes to have lived their lives,
More effectively.
After realizing time from them flys by.

And those making contributions,
Are doing their best to express gratefulness.
Knowing each day that comes to them is a blessing.
With opportunities given,
To do something other than to sit wishing.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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The Strength Within

The dark clouds are filling the skies.
The rain will soon settle in.
My sorrow then begins to rise.
Find strength within, find strength within.
All of the mountains are steeper ahead,
And I've struggled thust far I've been.
I calmly lower my head.
Find strength within, find strength within.
The world around me is dying.
Surrender is conquering a thousand men.
The life within me is crying.
Find strength within, find strength within.
I use to wonder when I'd walk my last mile,
Until I found Jesus, my friend.
Now there's a reason to smile!
I've found strength within, I've found strength within.

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Loose Talk Costs Lives

(b gibb)
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
Dont look at me as if you dont remember me at all
There was laughter, there was pain
But I wont make the same mistakes I made
You are too beautiful to me
I hide my tears inside the rain
Am I the soul you cast your spell upon
I had control and now its gone
Or are you someone who controls my heart and mind
And I will never say a word
And I will never say goodbye
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
I can see that someone hung a sign around your heart
And it reads do not return
And there is so much trouble I could cause
Someone as beautiful as you
You can feel my candle burn
And I still recall some starry night
We had it all, we held on tight
I promised I would come to you and catch you if you fall
And they will never know about us
For just one moment you were mine
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
For just one moment, just one moment, you were mine
Loose talk costs lives
(our moment held in time)
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives
Loose talk costs lives
People like to play
Were basically the same
We never lie
Loose talk costs lives

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Platitudinous Pleasures

I am not attached to platitudinous remarks.
As I reflect on particular abilities!
Really I am not.
Not on this journey I have embarked.
Do you honestly believe an ego is attached to this?
That some trite comments would give me a lift?
Do you realize how long this inside me has existed?
If you only knew...
More of a communication could have been pursued.
I have been on the pursuit of understanding...
For quite a few years.
Expressing these thoughts,
Is a gift to me God has chosen to give.
Inside of me still lives...
A craving to see others be and live as free!
I find that they are not.
No...
Especially after a glass or two of beer,
And/or wine...
With a shot of pepperment schnapps!
And perhaps...
A wee bit of blackberry brandy.
To give thoughts like these a start!
You see...
That's when a 'clarity' comes to visit me!
It seems only 'we' who know what this means...
Are connected to express,
A certain 'clearness' found to inspect.
Only to have those explain it as a creative process.
But not as a depthness coming from a heart,
That others feel free to critique...
And rip apart.
But not choosing to see or believe,
A bleeding of sorts is being done...
By those who neither find it a thrill or fun,
To have their guts poured to be ignored.
And evaluated as a tripping ego,
Wishing to be adored!
This is not that kind of discipline...
To have exposed on the surface,
Without 'something' being connected from deep within!
Who in their right minds,
Would spend their entire lives 'trying' to be defined.
If they did not already have definition?
That is not the journey...
Or the mission!
Or the condition of purpose meant.
Like the sipping of schnapps that are peppermint.
With a twist of lemon and maybe lime to add scent.
And losing an effectiveness earlier sent.
Now...
If that was known,
None of this would be necessary!
Or revealed as a gift...
Given to achieve 'something' believed.
Would it?
No need to respond.
I can handle this!
Could it be...
Just for useless platitudinous pleasures to receive?
And an overglorified ambition,
To mentally tease readers?
I think not!
Anyone who can make some kind of mind attachment...
To this rambling inebriated nonsense,
In which I am in no condition to repeat...
Is welcomed to the last of my brandy.
Sharing is one of my greatest talents.
And for that,
I seek no applause!

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Father –in-law’s and mother-in- law’s daughter is a daughter-in-law

Father –in-law’s and mother-in- law’s daughter is a daughter-in-law
In the long and short journey of life one has to read the same law,
Even the daughter-in-law should not treat with them just like a saw,
She must think that her husband’s parents are like her own parents,
Action and reaction we can see soon infront of our eyes and mind,
And every one has his or her law and so let us always live by a law,
A good son-in-law does not deserve for any kind of dowry to find,
He too considers that his wife’s parents are just like his own parents,
A daughter is born in her own family and lives in the another family,
All will weep to see the changes of her life from the starting to an end,
If that new family members are good for her she lives very happily,
Otherwise in every walk of her life she suffers and herself will tend,
All daughters have to face and face to cross the same path of life,
The Nature itself will pity on them to see their difficulty of life’s strife.

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Killing Star In Vision

This star awakes for the kill, just about there, to stall
And swear its strength of purpose, inside the hemisphere,
Like a bud of a flower, like a sentence needed answering,
Of awkward knowledge is this sun of ours in times of dread.

The night has occurred. We are stronger than fires of scoundrels and liars,
The living tennis of our lives has just happened as an event of difference.
A star-like adventure has just evaded us, when it could have happened,
Once more, the real time-journey again strummed like music of the apes.

A star has been laid on the surface of our vision,
The need it desires from us is the heavenly spring
We shall perceive sometime in our lives
Or whenever this spring has been achieved.

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Philippians 4: 13

The strength to resist the night
The strength to endure the day
The strength to keep righteous paths in sight
The strength to take them without delay

The strength to find a purpose in life
The strength to find the truths it brings
The strength to kick away from strife
The strength to stabalize the rock it clings

The strength to light a friend’s day up
The strength to resist wrathful foes
The strength to fill a stranger’s dry cup
The strength to shun sin when it opposed

The strength to feel a injured man’s pain
The strength to hold a reject’s hand
The strength to act against any gain
The strength to love without demand

The strength to understand that our King
Has blessed us with more than we can contain
Therefore regardless what time may bring
The strength will continue to reign

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Marine Boy

What they want for their lives
What they want for their lives
I crossed the sea in something
Its very light
What they want for their lives
Did you glide in with great stride?
Taking strength from a smile
Present state of marine life
I crossed the sea in something
Was it nice?
What they want for their lives
What they want for their lives
Did they fall into grand saloon?
What was that smile just about?
I crossed the sea in something
Was it nice?

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One God shining in a miillion ways

they say god is one
and he is everywhere

he found him in his kitchen
and calls him his Kitchen God
praying to him night and day
for enough food on his table

some found him in the field
and call him their rice god
praying to him every season
to be blessed with food for the family

some women found him at the door
and call him their door god
praying to him each morning
for safety of the house

some found him in the mountain
and call him the mountain god
praying to him day and night
to bless their ancestors' spirits
they think dwell with Him there

another found him at sea
and call him the sea god
praying to him day and night
so that he could catch enough
of fishes to make his day

each of us looks and finds god
in some ways, calling him
our own god, in our own way
- the god that answers every
earnest call for his blessings
at the door, in the field, at sea
.....everywhere....

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In Our Lives

If we all just sat and wished,
For everything we believed missed
In our lives.
Much of our lives would be dismissed.
Without realizing...
So much of the experience of it,
Has been spent wishing.

With little of it adventured.

And hoping for more time,
To waste in waiting.
As a hesitation in procrastination,
Is granted a freedom we allow and protect...
With the very best of our excuses.

In our lives...
We thrive on comparisons to survive.

To be munched,
Like a bunch of clustered nuts!
Dipped.
And surrounded by delicious chocolate.

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when God speaks to you

it is nice to see you
praying and praising God

that is what we are supposed to do
in fact, everyday of the rest of our lives

we must whisper
and talk to Him inside our hearts

but when God starts to talk to you
it is time to see your shrink

I've been there in the land
of schizophrenia.

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Granddaughters Tears

I am a young girl living in this world
Surrounded by family and friends.
But I am lonely and hurting inside
And my loneliness I try to hide.

I love music and I love to dance
I will do it at every chance.
While I am dancing I feel so free
Like no one can touch me.

I feel the music deep in my soul
Moving my feet and taking control.
I need someone to hold me
And tell me they understand
What I am going thru.

Is that so hard to do?

How many girls are going thru the same
And do their lives ever change?
I guess it will change when we
Take the fist steps to change our lives
On that we should not think twice.

I look around and every where I turn
Loneliness can be found.
But there is also so much joy
When you find that perfect boy. (hmm I wonder)

So my tears I will wipe away
For tomorrow is another day.

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Forgiveness (Realization)

forgiveness is the energy
of realization...
realizing, the person you're
mad at or hurt by is just an
extension of yourself, another
part of you. realizing, the act
they've committed against you
is just a human act, whether
done on purpose, or without
thinking... realizing, that you
commit similar acts in your day
to day existence...
realizing, not forgiving, holding
on to the anger and pain, only
hurts you yourself! it becomes a
form of prison, self-imposed...
realizing, the mistake is not the
person!
forgiveness, the realization of
freedom in relationships!

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For Who and Why

To those who value it...
Life becomes more precious,
When the thought of death and its permanence...
Comes to be not so distant,
In the reality of one who reflects on the years lived.

Fragile is this gift that has been given.
And those who believe,
They can do as they please at a time when they choose...
Often find themselves wishing they did not refuse,
To take that time when it came...
For themselves and no one else.

Realizing who they did that for...
Has either ignored them,
Or pushed them aside.
To show no appreciation.
As they live their own lives!

It is best to prioritize what one does...
For who and why!
Before they see their lives,
Like flashing snapshots.
Passing fast through what seems an hour glass.

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We

My father lives in France
My mothere lives in Japan
My sister lives in Afghanistan
My little brother lives in New York
My litter sister lives in Germany
My best friend lives in Myanmar
My business partner lives lives in China
My favourite food is indian food
My neighbourhood is always changing
What is WEdentity NOW?

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Self-actualization

Alone with myself,
So much comes into view.
Life and my purpose.
What is and not true.
Who does what and what I do.
And why and how all of this is connected.
Alone with myself,
I feel a power within.
I wish to find a way to express it.
A way to address...
And share with those who comprehend,
Self-actualization among those lost of identity
They will never understand or come to see.
And 'why' is that important to me that they do?
Alone with myself...
Praying!

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Loneliness Kills

Loneliness kills.
And many who have not yet died...
Are victims of lives,
Where appreciation does not reside inside!
These are the folks who believe they are owed.
Not all but some are selfishly controlled.

Loneliness kills.
And I've witnessed first hand...
Thoughts of suicide.
With feelings I had been a misfit.
Since in my environment...
Disrespect was shown.
And an ugliness to others,
Was commonly known.

But since I have accepted...
My growth and identity that has matured,
I began to compare pure ignorance...
To the smell of manure.
And I had to take my mind away!
From wishing things were not what I observed.
By realizing I had a purpose.
And my life was more than well deserved.
Or I would not be here energized upon this Earth!

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Time Has a Way of Helping Folks Re-evaluate Priorities

Most people spend most of their lives,
Playing hide and seek.
Not realizing their chosen places to hide,
Have not been that secret.
Nor have they been well hidden.

They waste time.
And all of it theirs!

When they decide they are prepared to be found...
There are very few who care,
Where they were or how they've been.

And they discover too late...
People who they have played with...
Have lives of their own.

And few have wasted theirs,
Wondering where to look...
For something they have long forgotten.
Or can remember what it was,
They sought...
Someone else thought they would miss.
Time has a way of helping folks re-evaluate priorities!

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