The essays in The Great Taos Bank Robbery were my project to win a Master of Arts degree in English when I quit being a newspaper editor and went back to college.
quote by Tony Hillerman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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College Kids
Someone please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I question why I did
Im poor, Im starving, Im flat broke, Ive got no cash to spend
Sell all my books for front row tickets to dave matthews band
My girlfriends at another school, I know this year will test her
I called, found out she had three other boyfriends last semester
And thats why I say
Oh no! not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No! arts and crafts is all I need
Ill take calligraphy and then Ill make a fake degree
80 grand later I found out that all that I had learned
Is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms
The party scene is kinda mean, I think its sick and twisted
The navy showed up at my dorm and claimed that I enlisted
And thats why I say
Oh no! not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No! arts and crafts is all I need
Ill take calligraphy and then Ill make a fake degree
Dont get excited. shell say no without a doubt you see
And Ive decided college girls just wont go out with me
They make me nervous and they always catch me off my guard
Like cell phone services I drop out cause college is too hard
Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
Good grades arent what they seem
I think he knows the dean
Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
He says hes proud of me
But college always was his dream
And I would always say its not for me
Oh no! not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No! arts and crafts is all I need
Ill take calligraphy and then Ill make a fake degree
Someone please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I question why I did
Do what will make you happy
Do what you feel is right
Only but one thing matters
Learn how to live your life
[in background:]
(phi, beta, delta, cappa
Someone please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I question why I did)
Do what will make God happy
Do what you feel is right
Only but one thing matters
Learn how to live your life
song performed by by Relient K
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coming out of college with a degree in fine arts and painting isn't worth much any more.
quote by Dan Fogelberg
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The only thing that I was equipped for with my very mediocre college Arts degree was to get a job in teaching.
quote by Helen Garner
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Sean
Dear brother,
How I love you so,
For I am so glad that you are in
A better mood than you were
Once long ago.
I am sorry about what our father
Did to you,
For I can relate to you,
For I know what he did to me,
And I am sorry about
The anger you felt for so long.
You seem a lot happier now,
Dear brother,
For I am happy
That you are happy
And that this house
Can be peaceful once again.
I am also happy that
You have become more appreciative,
After Philmont
And you realised what you had,
And you realised what you were missing,
And that you do not take anything for granted.
I am happy that
You are happy to be who
You are,
And that you are a more
Cheerful person,
And more of an optimist,
Than what you were long ago.
Dear brother,
I am glad you are
Not doing immoral things
In high school,
Such as cheating,
And lying,
And other things,
And that you are now giving your
Best effort.
I am glad that you
Are doing better
Than what you once did,
For you can do great things.
I hope you do well
In high school,
Dear brother,
And I hope you do well
In everything you do.
I know you want to be
An orthopaedic surgeon,
And it will suit you well,
Once you work towards it.
You can go to U-M,
If you work really hard,
And if you do well
In your AP classes,
Dear brother,
You can work off
Your freshman
Core classes,
And you can go on
And earn your
Bachelor's and Master's Degree
In college,
Just like your older sister did.
You do not have to be valedictorian,
Nor a salutatorian,
But as long as you get that 3.8
Or 3.9
That you really want,
You can get to U-M,
And be in Ann Arbour
In a heartbeat,
For you can do great things.
Apply with pride,
For you know you did well,
And the Board will notice you,
And you will be a Wolverine
Before you know it.
Brother, you can work hard
In college,
And you can get a Bachelour's Degree
And a Master's Degree
In college,
Just like your sister did.
Then you can go into med school,
Whether it be at U-M,
Michigan State University,
Wayne State University,
Harvard,
Yale,
Or even Princeton,
And you can do extremely well,
Because I believe in you,
Dear brother,
And you can get that white coat,
And get your stethoscope,
Just like your sister did.
Dear brother,
I know you can take the Hippocratic Oath,
And take med school seriously,
And become a great surgeon,
And I know you would love your patients dearly,
For you will become a great man,
But all you have to do is work hard,
And do not get discouraged,
For that will bring you down
To the Ground.
I know you can do it well,
Dear brother,
And I hope you do well with life,
For I wish you the best of luck.
poem by James Roberts
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In That Corner Is The Soup
I have a degree from Harvard.
'I have a degree from Yale.'
~I have a degree from Columbia.
With a Master's packed in my sack.
To prove that I prevailed.~
**That's great.
All of you should feel extremely proud.
Now...
Here is the scoop,
Your bowls are over there.
And in that corner is the soup! **
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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School Spirit Skit 1
Now beat that
And your mothers sayin go to college
So u finish college and its wonderful
U feel so good
And after all the partying and crazing
And dont forget about that drug habit u picked up at school bein around your peers
Hey now youll get that 25 thou, job a year and
Youll spend all your money on crack cocaine, but itll be youre your money
No more borrowin money from mom for my high
So now you get ur degree tattooed on your back your so excited about it
If u continue to work at the GAP, after several interviews, Oh my god!
Youll come in at an entry level position and when u do that
If u kiss enough ass, youll move up to the next level
Which is being a secretarys secretary!
And boy is that great, you get to take messages for the secretary
Who never went to college
Shes actually the bosses niece, so now your apart of the family
You know what college does for you?
It makes you really smart man
All you kids want to talk in the back of the class not me, I listened, ok
I was a hall monitor, This was meant to be,
You know how many classes I took, extra classes extra classes
No Ive never had sex but you know what, my degree keeps me satisfied
When a lady walks to me says hey u know whats sexy?
I say no, I dont know what it is, but I bet I can add up all the change in your purse really fast.
song performed by by Kanye West
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was an English major in college with minors in Fine Arts and Humanities.
quote by Sue Grafton
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Really, the potential for, first of all, any college graduate today is enormously good. These are good times for anyone with a college degree today, particularly African Americans. With a college degree today, you really breach the unemployment rate.
quote by Alexis Herman
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Before I joined the project most of the English people with whom I had made personal contacts were left wing and affected to some degree or other by the same kind of philosophy.
quote by Klaus Fuchs
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Which editor? I can't think of one editor I worked with as an editor. The various companies did have editors but we always acted as our own editor, so the question has no answer.
When I entered college, it was to study liberal arts. At the University of Pennsylvania, I studied English literature, but I fell in love with broadcasting, with telling stories about other people's exploits.
quote by Andrea Mitchell
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But for me, being an editor I've been an editor of all kinds of books being an editor of poetry has been the way in which I could give a crucial part of my time to what I love most.
quote by Peter Davison
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I undertake the same project as Montaigne, but with an aim contrary to his own: for he wrote his Essays only for others, and I write my reveries only for myself.
quote by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.
quote by Tina Fey
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Even with a College Graduate
Have you ever wonderred
What a person would be like
Who could score even with
A college graduate
You end up finding out
We're just as smart as
You seem to be
With that college degree
So, maybe we should
Learsn now to work together
Instead of trying to show
Which one of us is smarter
poem by Jerry Abrahamson
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Lil Jimmy Skit
You keep it going man, you keep those books rolling,
You pick up those books your going to read
And not remember and you roll man.
You get that a sociate degree, okay,
Then you get your bachelors, then you get your masters
Then you get your master's masters,
Then you get your doctron,
You go man, then when everybody says quit
You show them those degree man, when
Everybody says hey, your not working,
Your not making in money,
You say look at my degrees and you look at my life,
Hey i'm 52, so what, hate all you want,
But i'm smart, i'm so smart, and i'm in school,
And these guys are out here making all this
Money all these ways, and i'm spended mine to be smart.
You know why?
Because when i die, buddy, you know
What going to keep me warm, that right, those degrees
song performed by by Kanye West
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The only trouble here is they won't let us study enough. They are so afraid we shall break down and you know the reputation of the College is at stake, for the question is, can girls get a college degree without ruining their health?
quote by Ellen Henrietta Swallow Richards
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I've been a teacher at the college level, in composition mostly, and I've been an editor on magazines.
quote by Jane Haddam
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I went to the Westminster College for Men in Missouri, which is what it was called back then, and transferred to the University of Denver where I ultimately got my degree.
quote by Ted Shackelford
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
quote by Johnny Carson
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