The first pork-barrel bill that crosses my desk, I'm going to veto it and make the authors of those pork-barrel items famous all over America.
quote by John McCain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys
there are multiple questions pertaining to the concept,
'more fun than a barrel of monkeys.'
how big is the barrel?
how many monkeys are we talking about?
how big are the monkeys? Are we talking spider monkeys, chimps, baboons or what?
Are the monkeys old or young and where's the barrel, inside or outside?
If you leave the monkeys in the barrel, you got a problem:
they'll die in their own excrement,
if you lift the lid and let them out,
they might kill you.
a monkey can rip out your eyes, is that fun?
monkeys, leaping and running around the house, can do a lot of damage, is that fun?
monkeys are dirty, so... what exactly do you consider fun?
what's it going to be like trying to get the monkeys back in the barrel?
would that be fun?
what would the neighbors think of you, if you released the monkeys into their yards?
what happens if the police gets involved?
it could mean everything imaginable is more fun than a barrel of these animals.
maybe even more fun than a barrel of human beings.
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pork Chops are Fun
chop chop chop the pork squeals over dinner
with it's fatty bits and tasty bites
it marinates on a stick over hot coal
who will taste it first who will finish the bowl
Wow Pork Chops with red wine
then dinner will be divine
chop chop chop the pork is done
with ginger, wine and lots of fun
it's time to have with a salty bun
chop chop chop see it go in the oven my friends
it's dinner time lets eat it all
then lets sit together and have a ball
chop chop chop the pork tastes good
with the meat so tender it bloody weel should
sometimes on the pan sometimes as a roast
call your freinds for dinner it's a dish one can boast
chop chop chop the pork is done
sprikle a little wine to make things bright
then the meat put it on light
watch it burn and tremble with delight
chop chop chop my pork chops are done
poem by Anuj Tikku
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pork Roll Egg And Cheese
When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When the guava's drained, Eddie Dingle remains.
But we must further ourselves on.
So dynamic is life, staring into the sight's
Not right, but wrong in a good way.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
Kaiser bun. Pork roll egg and cheese.
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pork Roll Egg And Cheese
When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When the guava's drained, Eddie Dingle remains.
But we must further ourselves on.
So dynamic is life, staring into the sight's
Not right, but wrong in a good way.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
When you've had your fun, and your work is done,
You must not succumb.
I can feel you breathe. It's like a mega-weedge inside.
Please don't hide.
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
On a kaiser bun.
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese, if you please,
Kaiser bun. Pork roll egg and cheese.
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pork Roll Egg & Cheese
When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not
Succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When the guavas drained, eddie dingle remains
But we must further ourselves on
So dynamic is life, staring into the sights
Not right, but wrong in a good way
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Kaiser bun
Pork roll egg and cheese
(zzzz... eeezz..
(apluase and cheers)
-thank you!
-... thank you!
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pork Roll Egg & Cheese
When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not
Succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When the guavas drained, eddie dingle remains
But we must further ourselves on
So dynamic is life, staring into the sights
Not right, but wrong in a good way
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
When youve had your fun, and your work is done, you must not succumb
I can feel you breathe, its like a mega-weedge inside,
Please dont hide
So mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Mom, if you please, pass me the pork roll egg and cheese
If you please, on a kaiser bun
Kaiser bun
Pork roll egg and cheese
(zzzz... eeezz..
(apluase and cheers)
-thank you!
-... thank you!
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Anybody who thinks that getting a communication from a voter in your district is spam - that guy is pork. Roast pork unless he changes his point of view.
quote by Dick Morris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I was a kid, the disaster we worried about most was a nuclear war. That’s why we had a barrel … down in our basement, filled with cans of food and water. When the nuclear attack came, we were supposed to go downstairs, hunker down, and eat out of that barrel. Today, the greatest risk of global catastrophe doesn’t look like this. … If anything kills over 10 million people in the next few decades, it’s most likely to be a highly infectious virus rather than a war. Not missiles, but microbes.
quote by Bill Gates
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Pork-n-Beans
Pork-n-Beans, a favorite food of any renaissance man
Afterwards, you may want to turn on the exhaust fan
I like them hot as the capital of Sudan
I like them cold straight out of the can
Pork-n-Beans are a culinary delight
Give me great pleasure with each bite
If I could, I'd dine on them every night
Handy for the refrigerator raid at midnight
Pork-n Beans should be kept readily on hand
Nuclear fallout shelter...keep them canned
Zombie attack...snack while making a stand
In-laws visit...for a evening meal unplanned
poem by Charles Hancock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I object to you using words like squander and pork. What is pork in one part of the country is an essential project in another part.
quote by John Breaux
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You never get quite down to the bottom of the barrel, but we are much higher than that at the present time. There is quite a lot left in the barrel that could be explained by them. If they have some weapons, if they have some anthrax, they should deliver that.
The Black Barrel of a Gun
You say you're going to shoot me up
Yeah, shoot me up
If I don't do what you want
Yeah, shoot me up
While looking over the black barrel of a gun
You say again do what you want or it's going
To be the gun
Yeah, be the gun
If I don't do what you want
While looking down at the black barrel of a gun
Oh, well it's a good thing I can't hear
Yeah, I can't hear
Cause I'm not giving in to wants
Yeah, I can't hear
While your shoving a black barrel of a gun
Oh, yes and I can't see, no can see
When you give me your ultimatum
Cause I can't see giving in
To someone with a gun
While I look across the black barrel of a gun
So you can get your ass on flee
Because I don't see
You shoot me up, yeah shoot me up
Cause I'm not doing what you want
While I look across the black barrel of your gun
poem by Midnights Voice
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste.
quote by Nikita Khrushchev
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Spam
Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder whats inside it now (oh boy)
Spam in my luchbox at work (its the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all
If youre running low, go to the store
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is there to open the can
The can is there to hold in the spam
Oh, spam on the table at home (ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now (lets eat)
Spam in my office at work (its the best)
Think about the stuff its made from, wonder if its mystery of meat
If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermose to help wash it down
Now, if theres some left, dont just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now
Spam in my pantry at home (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the lable (oh boy)
Spam breakfast, dinner, or lunch (its the best)
Think about how its been precooked, wonder if Ill just eat it cold
Now, once you start in, you cant put it down
Dont leave it sitting or itll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the spam in
Oh, spam (spam)
Ham and pork
Think about nutrition, wonder whats inside it now (oh boy)
Spam (spam)
Its the best
Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it
Spam in the place where I live (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if Im a junkie now (lets eat)
Spam in the place where I work (youre obsessed)
Think about the way its processed, wonder if its some kind of meat
Spam in the back of my car (ham and pork)
Spam any place that you are (ham and pork)
The tab is there to open the can (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork)
The can is there to hold in the spam (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork)
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Justice In The Barrel
Hey mister can you help me
I'm a loner on the run
I'm just looking for tomorrow
And I ain't gonna hurt no one
I jumped headfirst into a bottle
I was looking for a friend
Came up just short of nothing
I didn't find the truth I only found an end
So tell me who's gonna save me
Or my father or my son
When the only justice a man can see
Is the barrel... of a loaded gun
I been broke and I've been hungry
I think they're both my middle name
But I don't never ever never seem to get enough
Still guess I can't complain
'Cause what you get in life you take it
You've gotta hold on and make it last
They say good things come to those who wait
But it's life that goes so fast
And when there's just one rule you live by
Each day you kiss the rising sun
When you live and die by the life we breathe
In the barrel of a loaded gun
Guns talk to me in my sleep at night
And a gun somewhere is burning
With my name
Winners are losers
And losers will have to face
All those yesterdays
And all of the dreams they blew away
So Mister can you help me
Or are you my gun
Have the ghosts of justice
Brought you here to me to taste
The barrel of a loaded gun
There's justice in the barrel
Of a loaded gun
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions.
quote by Stacie Orrico
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Barrel Race
Unloading from the trailer,
you wonder how the day will end.
Will you bring money? Will you place? Will You even participate?
You WILL ride, your horse is ready and confident, your name is called to the allyway, the horse takes off!
No time to be nervous, the first barrel arrived
RIGHT TURN!
The horse blasts off toward the second barrel
LEFT TURN!
The top third barrel is getting closer with every stride and before you know it
LEFT TURN!
Now you're heading home looking up at your time!
You pass the lazer......15 seconds taking home the prize.
poem by Horse Lover
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Inferiority Complex Involving Pork Pies
Why do you tell such awful pork pies?
All of us here can see through your lies,
If you once to the truth it would be a surprise,
But the Truth very often is a liar's disguise!
Perhaps you think you'll win our esteem,
We'll believe, after all, you're not what you seem,
We'll call you a hero, fulfilling your dream:
Wouldn't it be great if we fell for your scheme!
You'd better make peace with the person you are,
Try not to swagger when you walk to the bar,
Try not to boast about your second-hand car,
It's old and it's rusty and won't take you far!
It's a tragedy, really, that you feel so small,
You're short and you're puny and wish you were tall,
You'd like folk to come running whenever you call,
But when you cry out they don't notice at all!
Your trouble, my friend is the chip on your shoulder
Which seems to grow deeper as you get older,
You'd chat up the ladies if you felt bolder
But the smiles on their faces would turn a lot colder.
And it's all because of those silly pork pies,
The desire to be 'Someone' in everyone's eyes,
You've created an image that most people despise -
For God's sake stop telling such awful pork pies!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Done Somebody Wrong
The barrel-house told me, my baby caught that train n gone
The barrel-house told me, my baby caught that train n gone
It was all my fault, I musta did somebody wrong.
Everything that happens, you know I am to blame.
Everything that happens, you know I am to blame.
Im gonna find myself a doctor, perhaps my luck will change.
Ah, my mamma she told me, these days will surely come.
I wouldnt listen to her, had to have my fun.
The barrel-house told me, my baby caught that train n gone.
But its all my fault, I musta done somebody wrong, oh yeah.
The barrel-house told me, my baby caught that train n gone
The barrel-house told me, my baby caught that train n gone
It was all my fault, I musta did somebody wrong. oh play the blues...
song performed by by Allman Brothers Band, music by Elmore James (1960)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
quote by Bill Clinton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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