I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
quote by Sergio Aragones

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When the Pain In My Heart
When the pain in my heart
Equals the pain in my brain
When I think the only
Reason I care is
Because I am going in insane
When the pain in my heart
Equals the pain in my brain
When I think the only
Reason that I am here is
Because of all the years
When the pain in my heart
Equals the pain in my brain
When I think the only reason
For pain is gain of course
I think let’s start all over again
poem by Brian Kilpatrick

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Living In The Material World
Im living in the material world
Living in the material world
Cant say what Im doing here
But I hope to see much clearer,
After living in the material world
I got born into the material world
Getting worn out in the material world
Use my body like a car,
Taking me both near and far
Met my friends all in the material world
Met them all there in the material world
John and paul here in the material world
Though we started out quite poor
We got richie on a tour
Got caught up in the material world
From the spiritual sky,
Such sweet memories have i
To the spiritual sky
How I pray
Yes I pray
That I wont get lost
Or go astray
As Im fated for the material world
Get frustrated in the material world
Senses never gratified
Only swelling like a tide
That could drown me in the
Material world
From the spiritual sky,
Such sweet memories have i
To the spiritual sky
How I pray
Yes I pray
That I wont get lost
Or go astray
While Im living in the material world
Not much giving in the material world
Got a lot of work to do
Try to get a message through
And get back out of this material world
Im living in the material world
Living in the material world
I hope to get out of this place
By the lord sri krsnas grace
My salvation from the material world
Big ending
song performed by by George Harrison

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'd rather forget
the sad face of truth
is a bitter pill to swallow
oft it's something i avoid
rather'n face by myself
like a forgotten friend
you meet after the many years
and at the precise moment
you forget his name
oh sad oh sad the times
i get into these ones
and later i pick over my thoughts
to pick out that one name
and out it pops from nowhere in my brain
to pain me further
because it was no longer then
so I'd much rather forget
than remember that when
as in this now
when i missed a line back then
Bonzo Goes To Bitberg
You've got to pick up the pieces C'mon, sort your trash
You better pull yourself back together Maybe you've got too much cash
Better call, call the law When you gonna turn yourself in? Yeah
You're a politician Don't become one of Hitler's children
Bonzo goes to bitburg then goes out for a cup of tea
As I watched it on TV somehow it really bothered me
Drank in all the bars in town for an extended foreign policy
Pick up the pieces
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
Shouldn't wish you happiness, wish her the very best Fifty thousand dollar dress
Shaking hands with your highness See through you like cellophane
You watch the world complain, but you do it anyway Who am I, am I to say
Bonzo goes to bitburg then goes out for a cup of tea
As I watched it on TV somehow it really bothered me
Drank in all the bars in town for an extended foreign policy
Pick up the pieces
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
If there's one thing that makes me sick It's when someone tries to hide behind politics
I wish that time could go by fast Somehow they manage to make it last
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
song performed by by Ramones

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bonzo Goes To Bitburg
Youve got to pick up the pieces cmon, sort your trash
You better pull yourself back together maybe youve got too much cash
Better call, call the law when you gonna turn yourself in? yeah
Youre a politician dont become one of hitlers children
Bonzo goes to bitburg then goes out for a cup of tea
As I watched it on tv somehow it really bothered me
Drank in all the bars in town for an extended foreign policy
Pick up the pieces
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
Shouldnt wish you happiness, wish her the very best fifty thousand dollar dress
Shaking hands with your highness see through you like cellophane
You watch the world complain, but you do it anyway who am i, am I to say
Bonzo goes to bitburg then goes out for a cup of tea
As I watched it on tv somehow it really bothered me
Drank in all the bars in town for an extended foreign policy
Pick up the pieces
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
If theres one thing that makes me sick its when someone tries to hide behind politics
I wish that time could go by fast somehow they manage to make it last
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
My brain is hanging upside down I need something to slow me down
song performed by by Ramones

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Millions of unpublished poems
MILLIONS OF UNPUBLISHED POEMS
Millions of unpublished poems
Written by millions of would- be- poets
Wait for their never- to- be- had recognition
And the poets and the poems
Go on in all their unknownness and loneliness
Waiting for the day of discovery
Which will never come.
We are all lost
We are all alone
No one will ever be anything
This poem too goes on the pile
Of endless non-recognition and neglect
Which we feel and speak our way
Through and out of this world.
poem by Shalom Freedman

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You and your Career
Your ears were choosing what to hear,
When mighty jungles claimed noises,
The reason behind the brain and what is clear.
My sight detained me and made me disappear,
Where was I situated, afterwards with afterimages?
Your ears were choosing what to hear.
Your instrument is heavenly in this world and atmosphere,
Like music has spoken and never abuses,
The reason behind the brain and what is clear.
I ride on a faith too majestic and pure to adhere,
Such innocence exhibits the advantages,
Your ears were choosing what to hear,
My mind is passing a test, like drinking beer,
Inner fighting has survived the ambushes,
The reason behind the brain and what is clear.
I can never refuse a man to speak about a career,
The laughing is acted due to this and never ceases,
Your ears were choosing what to hear,
The reason behind the brain and what is clear.
poem by Naveed Akram

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Love....
i love...
that's the reason i walk,
the reason i breathe.
the reason i grieve.
the reason i dance.
the reason i smile.
the reason i listen.
the reason i offer a hand.
the reason i see beauty.
the reason i see both darkness,
and light....
the reason i take chances.
the reason i keep going.
the reason i get angry.
the reason i forgive.
the reason i touch.
the reason i question.
the reason i believe.
the reason i am tolerant.
the reason i understand.
the reason i fall.
the reason i fly.
the reason i write...
the reason i am what i am!
poem by Eric Cockrell

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When The World Is Running Down
Turn on my V.C.R.
Same one I've had for years
James Brown on the T. A. M. I. show
Same tape I've had for years
I sit in my old car
Same one I've had for years
Old battery's running down
It ran for years and years
Turn on the radio
The static hurts my ears
Tell me where would I go
I ain't been out in years
Turn on the stereo
It's played for years and years
An Otis Redding song
It's all I own
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
Plug in my M.C.I
To exercise my brain
Make records on my own
Can't go out in the rain
Pick up the telephone
I've listened here for years
No one to talk to me
I've listened here for years
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When I feel lonely here
Don't waste my time with tears
I run 'Deep Throat' again
It ran for years and years
Don't like the food I eat
The cans are running out
Same food for years and years
I hate the food I eat
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of what's still around
song performed by by Police

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Only Had A Brain
(from the soundtrack album the wizard of oz in concert: dreams do come true; performed by jackson browne backed by ry cooder & david sanborn)
See, I cant scare anybody.
They come from miles around
To laugh in my face and eat in my field.
Said a scarecrow swinging on a pole,
To some blackbirds sittin on a fence,
Oh, the lord gave me a soul,
But, forgot to give me common sense.
Said the blackbirds, well, well, well.
What the thunder would you do with common sense?
Said the scarecrow,would be pleasin
Just to reason out the reason
Of the wishes and the whyness and the whence
If I had an once of common sense...
(if he had an ounce of common sense)
(well, what would you do scarecrow? )
I would while away the hours
Conferin with the flowers
Consultin with the rain
And my head Id be scratchin
While my thoughts were busy hatchin
If I only had a brain.
Id unravel every riddle,
For every individle,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts Id be thinkin,
I could be another lincoln,
If I only had a brain.
Oh i-- could tell you why,
The oceans near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before,
Then Id sit-- and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin,
My head all full of stuffin,
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and by merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.
If I only had a brain--
(if he only had a brain.)
I could tell you why
The oceans near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before
And then Id sit-- and think some more.
Ya, it would be kind of pleasin
To reason out the reason,
For the things I cant explain.
Then perhaps Id deserve you,
And be even worthy of you,
If I only had a brain.
I could dance and by merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.
If I only had a brain.
(if he only had a brain.)
song performed by by Jackson Browne

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Only Had A Brain (feat. Jewel, Images, Ry Cooder & David Sanborn)
(from the soundtrack album The Wizard of Oz in Concert: Dreams Do Come True; performed by Jackson Browne backed by Ry Cooder & David Sanborn)
See, I can't scare anybody.
They come from miles around
To laugh in my face and eat in my field.
Said a scarecrow swinging on a pole,
To some blackbirds sittin' on a fence,
"Oh, the Lord gave me a soul,
But, forgot to give me common sense."
Said the blackbirds, "Well, well, well.
What the thunder would you do with common sense?"
Said the scarecrow,"Would be pleasin'
just to reason out the reason
of the wishes and the whyness and the whence"
If I had an once of common sense...
(If he had an ounce of common sense)
(Well, what would you do Scarecrow?")
I would while away the hours
Conferin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle,
For every individle,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin',
I could be another Lincoln,
If I only had a brain.
Oh I-- could tell you why,
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before,
Then I'd sit-- and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin',
my head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.
If I only had a brain--
(If he only had a brain.)
I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before
And then I'd sit-- and think some more.
Ya, it would be kind of pleasin'
To reason out the reason,
for the things I can't explain.
Then perhaps I'd deserve you,
and be even worthy of you,
If I only had a brain.
I could dance and by merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.
If I only had a brain.
(If he only had a brain.)
song performed by by Jackson Browne

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bad Brain
I used to be an A student
I never used to complain
I used to be a truant
But I'm still the same
Bad bad brain
Bad bad brain
I used to go to parties
I used to drink champagne
Now I'm beginning to feel the strain
Bad bad brain
I used to be in show biz
I used to have fortune and fame
I used to have pleasure and pain
I used to have a name
Bad bad brain
Now I'm on the Bowery
I can't remember my name
Bad bad brain
Bad bad brain
Bad bad brain...bad bad brain...
song performed by by Ramones from Road To Ruin

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Something About Their Jokes Told
Why is it,
That those who once provoked...
Laughter and jokes,
On other folks...
Have become the ones,
Who today appear to fear?
Could it be,
Something they have done to someone...
Has managed to attract serious attention.
And faces of those once cracking with laughs,
Find something about their jokes told...
No longer thought to be as funny.
And today,
Those who they pass to exchange...
With others who gathered to laugh,
Seem to smile as if gasping onto bags...
Of contained laughter.
And appear happy for no apparent reason.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of Whats Still Around
Turn on my vcr
Same one Ive had for years
James brown on the tammy show
Same tape Ive had for years
I sit in my old car
Same one Ive had for years
Old batterys running down
It ran for years and years
Turn on the radio
The static hurts my ears
Tell me where would I go
I aint been out in years
Turn on the stereo
Its played for years and years
An otis redding song
Its all I own
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
Plug in my mci
To excercise my brain
Make records on my own
Cant go out in the rain
Pick up the telephone
Ive listened here for years
No-one to talk to me
Ive listened here for years
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When I feel lonely here
Dont waste my time with tears
I run deep throat again
It ran for years and years
Dont like the food I eat
The cans are running out
Same food for years and years
I hate the food I eat
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
song performed by by Police

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of Whats Still Around
Turn on my v.c.r., same one Ive had for years
James brown on the tammy show,
Same tape Ive had for years
I sit in my old car, same one Ive had for years
Old batterys running down, it ran for years and years
Turn on the radio, the static hurts my ears
Tell me, where would I go? I aint been out in years
Turn on the stereo, its played for years and years
An otis redding song, its all I own
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
Plug in my m.c.i, to excercise my brain
Make records on my own, cant go out in the rain
Pick up the telephone, Ive listened here for years
No one to talk to me, Ive listened here for years
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When I feel lonely here, dont waste my time with tears
I run deep throat again, it ran for years and years
Dont like the food I eat, the cans are running out
Same food for years and years, I hate the food I eat
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
When the world is running down
You make the best of whats still around
song performed by by Sting

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pick Yourself Up Off the Bottom
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
B ah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Get back to a simpler time.
If not just in your mind...
When you found a reason and rhyme.
To unwind.
Get back to a purposeness.
When you had much more sense.
And your mind wasn't condensed...
To accepting false lies...
To fly like they do!
Hop-in-that-taxi...and get back to you.
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Doo-doo-doo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
B ah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
B ah dum.
Pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
B ah dum.
And-pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
B ah dum.
Just pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Bah dum.
Pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Bah dum.
Just pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
Doo-doo-d oo-doo do...Bedoo.
Bedoobe doo-bee-do...Be-dooooo-beeeeahhh.
Bah dum.
Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, giddyup...and
Pick-yourself-up-off-the-bottom.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pick It Up Or Be Gone
Pick it up or be gone.
What's given.
Pick it up or be gone.
What's there.
Pick it up or be gone.
The steak.
Or the rake.
Or the keys,
To open the gate!
Now...
Pick it up or be gone.
What's given.
Pick it up or be gone.
What's there.
Pick it up or be gone.
The steak.
Or the rake.
Or the keys,
To open the gate!
Now...
Don't try to imitate,
Homemade cake.
Oh no.
And don't ever try to duplicate,
A delicious taste.
Or...
Butter up faked mashed potatos.
Pick it up or be gone.
What's given.
Pick it up or be gone.
What's there.
Pick it up or be gone.
The steak.
Or the rake.
Or the keys,
To open the gate!
Now...
Pick it up or be gone.
Oooow.
Pick it up or be gone.
Yeah.
Pick it up or be gone.
Now...
Pick it up or be gone!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Red Faces
Red flags the reason for pretty flags.
And ribbons.
Ribbons of flags
And wearing material
Reason for wearing material.
Give pleasure.
Can you give me the regions.
The regions and the land.
The regions and wheels.
All wheels are perfect.
Enthusiasm.
poem by Gertrude Stein

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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