One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all.
Related quotes
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
quote by Marlo Thomas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Night Club Quickie
A luscious babe, struts insidiously
Amongst the band
Roadie?
We think not
Just gasping for a ride
The crew gaulks, with vast mouths
At this showgirl
Which member will give her a whirl?
Will they play her safe?
Perhaps, just weigh in, at their own expense
The drummer makes a move
Slashing, pounding his thin lumber
She suddenly notices him
With a sensitive, sensual glance
Should he take a chance?
A nearby restroom, jumps in front of them both
As the band takes, an intermission
Eyes meet
Drummer, showgirl intermingle
Restroom closed
He gets hosed
poem by Matt Mondschein
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Could I Have Your Autograph
Hello, I dont know me from adam, you dont know me from eve
I just came here tonight cause I was lonely
Youre no elvis presley, Im no marilyn monroe
But I do think youre sexy, just thought Id tell you so
Hey could I have your autograph
Your name and your number on a small photograph
Id like to know you and what youre all about
Hey could I have your autograph
Ive had my eyes on you and youre worth lookin at
Could I ask you out or should a lady do that
You may not be famous but you look like a star
You should be in movies as cute as you are
Hey could I have your autograph
Your name and your number on a small photograph
Could I interest you in a romance perhaps
Hey could I have your autograph
Got my heart in my hands and my head in the clouds
And youre everything every girl dreams about
And being with you would be heaven no doubt
What I wouldnt do for your autograph
Oh could I have your autograph
Oh could I have your autograph
Hey could I have your autograph
I like your body could I help you work it out
Maybe moving to the music playing on the phonograph
Hey could I have your autograph
Oh could I have your autograph
You know youre just the kind to makes a woman real proud
Would you take a chance on a girl from the south
Could I have your autograph
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Try being my size and going into a public restroom.
quote by Billy Barty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The code of the road is, if there is anything to eat, eat; if there is a place to sit, sit; if there is a restroom, go.
quote by Jessica Savitch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0049 One for the inner child
Me, I prefer a long tale
with a happy ending,
said the python
glancing at the
Readers' Digest
on return from
the restroom
(for Jerry,
who likes
short poems)
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Funny isn't it?
Funny isn’t it?
The torture and pain
But don’t worry about it
Wasn’t it just a game?
Funny isn’t it?
Watching her hide from you
Hiding behind people
So scared of what you’ll do
Funny isn’t it?
Ripping up her soul
Well I suppose you had too
You have to be in control
Funny isn’t it?
When you don’t see her around
Proud of your work
That You won your ground
Funny isn’t it?
When your smile starts fall
As you look for that girl
Missing from school
Funny isn’t it?
When the guilt takes its toll
When the worry starts
And it tares up your soul
Funny isn’t it?
When you see her friends looks
When you wish you could give back
All the things you took
It was funny wasn’t it?
Went you read that note
And you saw the reasons
she had blood on her coat
Its funny now isn’t it?
As the guilt take its place
And all you can see
Is her lifeless face
poem by Amie Waddafuck
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Something so ordinary can be poetic
Something like
NO PARKING
Is poetic to me
You are a soul
Lost to this
Town of indifference
And you have
Been roaming
Around in your
Old car of a
Soul and you
Want to rest
And think
And what they
Say is
NO PARKING
That is actually
Poetic
Or shall we say
THIS WAY TO THE RESTROOM
Oh that is really
Poetic signifying
Relief that in this country
There still exists A WAY TO
A way a path a footpath
for someone lost
someone wanting to empty
Himself like a heavy cloud
Wanting to empty
Its accumulating heaviness
Like your urinary bladder
Looking for a restroom and
Oh heavens
This is the way to the rest room
This is the way to the heavens
Where I can just
Have the freedom of pursuing my happiness
Of a simple poetic pee
So this way to the rest room
Is a feeling of relief
It is a feeling of relief and poetry is just like that
You look for a way to unburden yourself
A way to this and that of relieving your
Urinary bladder your poetic urinary bladder
Discharging a discomfort
A heaviness of unwanted liquids
Which you have accumulated
In time
And you hold your thing in the manner that you
Want it held and in the process that you want it done
Without anybody looking
Without anybody saying you this is the proper way to pee
And no other else that can make your pee wholesome
To prescribed rules
And you point it to the big basin of a bowl
You pee
You have just discharged a discomfort
With all the images of
THIS WAY PLEASE TO THE COMFORT ROOM
To your comfort zone
Because you have been in such a discomforting fit
In complete release
You feel relief
And that to me is very poetic
THIS WAY TO THE COMFORT ROOM PLEASE
when all you want in life is to pee
On that instance
that moment is the best poetry
To the lines and verses of a person
simply peeing.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Elegantly Drowning
She stands so eleganty,
she stands so pretty,
pretty girl is suffering,
pretty girl is drowning,
Elegantly she floats through the last of her days.
Pretty girl drinks it all down,
Pretty girl passes out,
pretty girl doesn't cry out,
she screams in silence,
she stands alone in a crowded room,
no room for any more pain.
She lays there so quietly, she lays there so innocently,
Innocence lost, losing her own battle, a fight she can't seem to win,
Pretty girl so skinny,
Pretty girl so sickly,
Pretty girl is drowning.
Her memories haunt so elegantly,
She used to stand so pretty,
Pretty girl sufferers no more,
She rinces it all down,
Pretty girl poured her life out.
poem by Amanda Swindahl
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Bad Girl
Bad Girl"
Sho nuff
Shawty
What it do?
Oooooooh
Pimpin', oh boy
uh
What y'all know about a supermodel
Fresh outta Elle magazine
Buy her own bottles
Look pimp juice, I need me one
Bad than a mutha
I hear you sayin'
I need a bad girl
If you're a bad girl
Playas when you see me
Act like you know me
I keep a dollar worth of dimes
You know pimpin' ain't easy
For all my chicks in the club
Who knows how to cut a rug
If you're a bad girl
Get at me bad girl
[Chorus]
Ooh work me baby
Shakin' it the way I like
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (say yeah)
Get at me bad girl
What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight?
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (super bad baby)
Get at me bad girl
Now I've seen a lotta broads
All on one accord
Everyone looked the same but
Take a look at my dame (my dame)
Fo' sho', she take that Hpnotiq or Alize
There ain't much more I can say but (I need a)
I need a bad girl (bad girl)
If you're a bad girl
Got one thou' on the bar now
Chick need a drink on the flo' now
Look at them bad girls movin' it
Makin' faces while they doin' it
Oh, I wanna take one to the restroom
So close I'm smellin' like your perfume
If you're a bad girl
Get at me bad girl
[Chorus]
Ooh work me baby
Shakin' it the way I like
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (say yeah)
Get at me bad girl
What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight?
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (super bad baby)
Get at me bad girl
I'mma get one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Oh oh oh oh
Get at me bad girl
I'mma get one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Oh oh oh oh
Get at me bad girl
If you wanna party
I got what'chu lookin' for
Come see me in the V.I.P. for bad company
It's very necessary
To be that kinda girl for me
If you are, then baby come
Let's leave
[Chorus]
Ooh work me baby
Shakin' it the way I like
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (say yeah)
Get at me bad girl
What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight?
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (super bad baby)
Get at me bad girl
[x2]
I'mma get one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Oh oh oh oh
Get at me bad girl
I'mma get one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Get me one of dem
Oh oh oh oh
Get at me bad girl
Callin' all girls around the world
Yeah, get bad
If you're out there I wanna see you
If you hear me get at me
Bad girls around the world
Yeah, stay bad if you're out there
I wanna see you if you hear me
Get at me bad girl
song performed by by Usher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Isn't It Funny
isn't it funny,
how the world likes to be?
isn't it funny,
how much you don't mean to me?
isn't it funny,
how much i care?
it really isn't funny,
when you're not there.
isn't it funny,
how we used to be?
isn't it interesting,
what you meant to me?
isn't it strange,
how we fell apart?
isn't it great,
we both miss our hearts?
one last thing,
before i throw this ring,
wasn't it funny...
to see what i'd do?
isn't it laughable,
how i still love you?
poem by RebeccaSaphira Black
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It's Kind of Funny
It's kind of funny how those who want life get it taken away,
while those who loathe it wander around.
Almost as if a waste.
It's kind of funny how those who try to do right get it spit back in their face.
The bad walk among us as if to be common people.
They, they get your respect.
It's kind of funny the people you love, they're usually the fall of you.
They say they're there for you but always somehow make you feel worthless.
It's kind of funny how everything can end so fast.
Everything can just disappear.
It's kind of funny how I wish I never met you.
I wish I could tell you.
I wish we could be.
And I wish that everything wasn't so funny and that everything could be what it is.
It's kind of funny how me and you,
we don't matter.
What I say and do will always be funny to you.
It's no longer funny.
poem by Elina Fields
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Girl
(coverdale/marsden/murray)
I have never known a woman
Who loves me like you do,
You treat me like a dog
An make me shake my tail for you
I know the game youre playing
When youre turning all your tricks
Its written on your face
You just want your business fixed
No, I dont need a crystal ball
To see whats in your mind
If I dont give you what you want
You treat me so unkind,
But if Im good and give you love
You throw me down a bone,
But if Im bad you make me sad
An leave my love alone
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Just a pretty little crazy white girl,
Pretty little crazy white girl
Girl, girl
Pretty little crazy white girl
I know, baby, you aint fooling
With all your high class schooling,
You want everything your own way
If I could, I would
Do every little thing a good man should,
Baby, Id really give it to you
Every day
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Just a pretty little crazy white girl,
Pretty little crazy white girl
Girl...
Mean mistreater,
There aint no one to beat you,
But you treat me so bad
Ive never known a woman
Who loves me like you do,
You treat me like a dog
An still I shake my tail for you
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Just a pretty little crazy white girl,
Pretty little crazy white girl
Girl, girl...
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Girl, she treat me so bad
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Girl, come on baby
Pretty little crazy white girl,
I love the way you make me
Girl...
Pretty little crazy white girl,
Girl...
Pretty little crazy white girl
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sign Here, Please:
At 43 my body is a twisted wreckage of scar tissue.
Most of them are from people I know or knew.
Cigarette burns (many of them) ,
Knife slices,
A large cut left by a pair of scissors wielded by a crazy girl I dated,
Claw marks on my back, sex scars, another crazy girl with 'lee press on talons'.
My teeth were knocked out in a few fights (over women and heroin) .
I now wear dentures.
There is a one from being hit with a frying pan in the head
I don't care how funny it is in Looney Toons,
that shit HURT.. and bled like a virgin sacrifice.
There are the scars from childhood clumsiness
(Falling down stairs and the like)
I have a huge scar on my right thigh...
a blowtorch my dad used to teach me that men don't cry
(I still can't, it worked)
'Sex and pain form flesh identity' Burroughs wrote.
My body is an autograph book.
Many, many, people have signed it,
and I remember them all.
I also have tattoos and piercings,
I remember who did those as well but they lack the emotional honesty of the others.
A friend recently told me
'Nothing is more honest than a punch in the face'
I had to nod in agreement...
While I am covered in scars (many, many scars) .
I have to admit,
they are all honest.
Funny thing is, I wouldn't trade them,
they are stories,
they are my stories made flesh.
They are me
and the people who put them there,
they are also, in a very literal way, they are me as well.
poem by Brevet Wilson
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The 'Poem A Day' Project ~ Day 164
She said “I’m not being funny, but I need my benefits
So I can fit my kids in a big new car
I their dads can’t pay as they’re all different guys
And I don’t really know who they are
And I’m not being funny but I need handouts for food,
Yes, its true that most is spent of cigs and drink
And of course my lottery tickets should be funded by you
So it’s not my cash going down the sink
And I’m not being funny but I’d really like a job
I want to get some work honestly
But not cleaning or manual stuff, I’ve to much pride for that
And every boss has it in for me
They asked me to turn up on time and work while I am there
And won’t let me skive which I find cruel
I’m not being funny but you should all pay for me”
And I didn’t find it funny at all
poem by Flying Lemming
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Cousin Clyde
Cousin Clyde spent much of his time
Walking up and down the street
He never failed to whistle
At every pretty girl he'd meet
Cousin Clyde was quite a bit different
From any man we ever knew
He loved all the pretty women
Yey he was afraid of them too
A girl once flirted with Clyde
He was a rather good-looking man
That scared him out of his wits
And he turned around and ran
Clyde wrote so many girls letters
None of them ever replied
It just wasn't to be
That Clyde would have a bride.
poem by Joy Thacker
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A Pleasing Sought Has Been Reached
Put down the moisterizer,
And go get a friend.
A 'fling' or 'something'.
Or let go of this relationship...
Since neither one of you,
Are gratified by the things...
You once together liked to do!
Or come together to mend...
In a foreplay lovers choose.
Turn off the water faucet,
And get down from the sink.
What's the matter with you two?
Is your desperation on the brink?
Conversation 101,
Is a beginning you can start.
Communication done and desired,
Will heat the embers...
To bring new life to that fizzling fire.
And can melt away icicles quick.
Ending midnight visits to the restroom!
As one pretends to be sick of the other...
While an unsatisfied spouse...
Lays in bed,
Making good single use of it!
And getting a heads up,
On the matters at hand!
And infusing a bliss...
That becomes sensually picturesque,
With images fleeting that brings one to rest.
And sleeping quietly,
After the incentive brings about relief!
And agitated the other becomes...
When the snoring done,
Loudly peaks at new levels...
As if a pleasing sought has been reached!
'It has! '
~Snoring is not the only thing,
You pretend to do!
I'm suppose to believe,
You now talk in your sleep? ~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hello Little Girl
Hello little girl,
Hello little girl,
Hello little girl.
When I see you everyday,
I say: mm mm hello little girl.
When youre passing on your way
I say: mm mm hello little girl.
When I see you passing by
I cry mm mm hello little girl.
When I try to catch your eye
I cry mm mm hello little girl.
I send you flowers
But you dont care.
You never seem to see
Me standing there.
I often wonder
What youre thinking of.
I hope its me
And love love love.
So I hope therell come a day
When youll say: mm youre my little girl.
Its not the first time
That its happened to me,
Its been a long lonely time
And its funny funny to see
That Im about to lose my mi-mi-ind.
So I hope therell come a day
When you say: mm mm
Youre my little girl, mm mm mm.
Youre my little girl, mm mm mm.
Youre my little girl, oh yeah.
Youre my little girl
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Girl...
Gorgeous girl, who is it to blame
Anonymous girl, who knows her name
Saddened girl, who makes her cry
Blind girl, who can't love anymore
Lonely girl, who wants to touch her
Speechless girl, who kissed her
Gossip girl, who talks about her
Baby girl, who gave birth to her
Pretty girl, who broke your heart
Promiscious girl, who's promise got broken
Girlie girl, why you're wearing pants
Ugly girl, who can change her
Party girl, who will drink tonight
I don't even want to be an idiot pretty girl....
poem by Joy O' Pateng
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I Know It
Atop that ridge live Inuit
Drinking and smoking weeds
No longer speak of tribal adage
No longer raise reindeer for sausage
No more salmon to come to riverbanks
Everybody left the town besides the drunks
So cold, minus ten is like summertime
School is not fun; all homework to be done
Work nowhere to be found;
besides gimmy fund
No phones, no TV,
no restroom; nature by design
Winchester 30-30 his prized possession
From time to time bags a bighorn
Boredom is his friend;
Corona is his girlfriend
Wasting away in the wilderness plain
Some can not take it anymore
Have one last glimpse at the barrel's bore
Startled the bald eagle from its lore
One has just left the native floor
poem by Manonton Dalan
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