I've actually become much, much dumber through being married and having these children. I find that I'm not half as sharp that I once was. I can't even help them with their 4th and 5th grade vocabulary and math work at this point.
quote by Patrick Warburton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Math Suks
If necessity was the mother of invention
Then Id like to kill the guy who invented this
The numbers come together in some kind of third dimension
A regular algebraic bliss
Lets starts with something simple
Like 1 and 1 aint 3
Any 2 plus 2 will never get you 5
Theres fractions in my subtraction
And x dont equal y
But my homework is bound to multiply
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Id like to burn this text book
I hate that stuff so much
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Sometimes I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
I got so bored with my homework
I turned on the tv
The beauty pageant winners were all smiling through their teeth
And they asked the new miss america
Hey babe can you add up all those bucks
She looked puzzled then just said math suks
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
You dont even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks (math suks), math suks (math suks)
Sometime times I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
Geometry and trigonometry and if they dont tax your brain
There are numbers to big to be named
Numerical precision is a science with a mission
And I think its gonna drive me insane
Parents fighting with their children
And the congress cant agree
Teachers and their students are all jousting constantly
Management and labor keep rattling old sabres
Quacking like those peabody ducks
Math suks (quack quack), math suks (quack quack)
You dont even have to spell it
All you have to do is yell it
Math suks, thats right, math suks, you got it
Sometime times I think that I dont know that much
But math suks
All right there goes our g rating
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks the big one
Math suks, math suks, math suks, math suks
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Move Them From This Classroom
That assignment may be a little too harsh.
It's impractical to believe these children will succeed!
This is a 'Social Studies' class, Mrs. Worthington.
And as your principal...
I am demanding you keep to the curriculum,
And not challenge these students to uncover
Something that is unattainable!
This, I tell you, can not and will not be achieved!
'IF we are expecting these children to be leaders
Of a brighter tomorrow...
They must learn today to use all tools necessary,
To research from existing standards and values!
I do not think what I have presented is impossible! '
~NAME THREE PLACES WHERE TRUTH
IS OBSERVED BEING CONDUCTED~
You are expecting these children to re-invent the wheel!
We are only here to pass them from grade to grade...
HOPEFULLY with a little science and math under their belts!
You will teach basic studies OR you will find yourself,
Out of a job!
Is that clear, Mrs. Worthington?
That 'No Child Left Behind' business means just that!
Move them from this classroom...
To the next!
Understood?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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His vocabulary
her vocabulary
every word fits into its space
like a classroom
her vocabulary
each word carries its own weight
as it files into my mind
her vocabulary
notes of the morning birds
that strain to sing
her vocabulary
my mind polished
like silver
her vocabulary
the calisthenics of her mind
in my mind
her vocabulary
the precision of her mind
etched onto my heart
her vocabulary
sublime as a glass of
evening whisky
her vocabulary
strikes like
glitters of diamonds
his vocabulary
my brain has no space
to breathe
his vocabulary
every piece of writing
has become a thesis
his vocabulary
he asks to take him
as he is
his vocabulary
she feels he is not true
to his own feelings
his vocabulary
she asks it is weaned from
dictionary or experience
his vocabulary
she asks he is out to impress
or express
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
We Got Married
Going fast, coming soon
We made love in the afternoon.
Found a flat, after that
We got married.
Working hard for the dream,
Scoring goals for the other team,
Times were bad, we were glad
We got married.
Like the way you open up your hearts to each other,
When you find a meeting of the minds.
Just as well love was all we ever wanted,
It was all we ever had.
Further on in the game,
Waiting up till the children came.
Place your bets, no regrets,
We got married.
We got married.
We got married.
Nowadays every night flashes by
At the speed of light,
Living life, loving wife,
We got married.
I love the things that happen
When we start to discover
Who we are and what were living for,
Just because love was all we ever wanted
It was all we ever had.
Its not just a loving machine,
It doesnt work out
If you dont work at it.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As the world gets dumber and dumber, I feel more and more at home.
quote by Peter McWilliams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On Count Voronstov
One half Milord, one half in trade,
One half a sage, one half a dunce,
One half a crook, but here for once
There's every hope he'll make the grade.
poem by Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Everyone has the brainpower to follow the stock market. If you made it through fifth-grade math, you can do it.
quote by Peter Lynch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?
quote by Gary Becker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Education A Lost Cause
Education A Lost Cause
By Lori Triggs
Copyrighted Feb.2010
Education was importion at one time,
now it is on the back burner not importation.
In the U.S.A. we ranked number one in education,
now in the U.S.A. we rank 13th in education.
Americans cannot even comprehend English language
besides math or science even sex education.
Americans talk with text or iming words thinking that the English language
when Americans today are alliterate cannot read or write even do math.
Our states even government wants to take away
12th grade from high school what's next?
11TH grade than no high school suppose to be going forward not backwards.
So we need to fix education and our government,
because education comes first and the fat cats like the senators,
and the congressman come last no more free rides plus free dinners.
We need to rank number one in education again!
poem by Lori Triggs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The first book I ever wrote was in fourth grade and it was called 'Billy's Booger.' It was an autobiographical piece about a kid who was really bad at math.
quote by William Joyce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Addictive Personalities
All that 'is'
Will change.
All that 'has'
Will not.
And you expect,
Something from yesterday to be repeated?
Children who can not read,
Are passed along from grade to grade.
Without any comprehension at all being done.
There are folks hired in executive positions,
Because of their looks.
There are few women chefs who cook in restaurants.
And I have never seen a fireman direct traffic!
Have you?
'You make absolutely no sense.'
And neither do you.
All I asked if you will loan me another $10,
Like you did yesterday.
I will pay you back!
And you expect,
Something from yesterday to be repeated?
Children who can not read,
Are passed along from grade to grade.
Without any comprehension at all being done.
There are folks hired in executive positions,
Because of their looks.
There are...
'I get the picture! '
I don't think you do.
I don't think you will.
We both have addictive personalities.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What Would The Children Think
She wakes up in the morning with the new sunrise
Looks at her husband sleeping still
Inside she cries
She makes the children breakfast
Gets them on their way
Watching them through the window
She prepares to face another day
Then her husband tells her
That he wont be home til late
Theres so much work hell have to stay behind
But she knows it isnt work thats on his mind
But still hell never leave her
Cause what would the children think
Where would the children go
What would the children do
If they knew the way it was
But theyll never learn because
What would the children think
Where would the children think
At the gate she kissed him
And watched him walk
Hoping this small charade
Will stop the neighbors talk
She turns to hide a tear
Inside her gilded cage
She cries for the love she could not hold
And lost to someone half her age
Then her pride and breakin heart
Tell her to run away
But she values what shes got a little more
Two kids, one 9 and nearly 4
And she would never leave them cause
What would the children think
Where would the children go
What would the children do
If they knew the way it was
But theyll never learn because
What would the children think
Where would the children think
What would the children think
Where would the children go
What would the children do.
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Point
J. spinks
This aint working out
Its not worth the time I spent on it
When Ive been next to you
Its not the way you want it
And all I wanna do
Is get away and as far away from it
Theres no point cos Im not winning
Theres no point going back to the beginning
Theres no point to keep on waiting
Theres no point in talking it over
Theres no point in getting any closer
If it was up to you
Wed go around in circles forever
Theres nothing left to do
I go around - around in you
Ive tried to see it through
All Ive seen is the stormy weather
Theres no point in still pretending
Theres no point cos this is never ending
Theres no point in keep on trying
Theres no point to carry on lying
Theres no point acting like children
Theres no point cos this time Im gone
Theres no point in talking it over
Theres no point in getting any close
Theres no point in still pretending
Theres no point cos this is never ending
Theres no point in keep on trying
Theres no point to carry on lying
Theres no point in talking it over
Theres no point in getting any closer
Theres no point cos Im not winning
Theres no point going back to the beginning
Theres no point in hesitating
Theres no point tonight
Theres no point at all
song performed by by Outfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Older Than dirt, Dumb As A Rock
Older than dirt
Dumb as a rock
That’s what I’ve been called
And it comes as no shock
Cause I have gotten older
And I have gotten dumber
And I possibly could have seen
My very last summer
But I don’t regret getting’ dumber
And I know getting’ older is tough
What I do regret tho’…
is not getting’ enough
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Are You Married or Single?
Marriage is an institution that changes human life
After the wedding ceremony a brand new life begins
This means that nobody is ever the same again
Everybody anticipates better life after the wedding
Not all anticipation materialize the way we wanted
If you are one of the happily married ones
You should count your blessings and rejoice
Human beings get married for many reasons
Many get married for love and affection
Some get married for money and security
Few get married for convenience and expediency
Other people get married to have children
While the rest are married for other reasons
Marriage is meant to increase our happiness
But not all the married ones are truly happy
Those who are happily married, rejoice
Because they found the compatible partner
Because they have beautiful children
Because they love and respect each other
Because they sincerely care for each other
Because they have understanding in-laws
Staying married does not mean that your life
Is free from worries, problems and tribulations
Always remember your vows on the wedding day
For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer
If you are given the chance to do it all over again
Will you marry the same partner?
Or you will prefer marrying somebody else
Whatever may be your response or answer?
Please stay happy and enjoy the moment
poem by Julius Babarinsa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Flint
Who has married a flint?
Who is living with a flint?
Are you okay with the flint? !
Then, use it wisely before it sparks off your life.
Who has married a flint?
Mind you,
It will spark up your life if there is no love.
Who has married the flint?
Please do take care of it before it destroys your life;
The flint is needed to work with but,
It is your lover today;
So take care with the flint before it destroys you.
Who has married the flint?
We all need a flint to work with but,
Sometimes it is very dangerous!
Who has married a flint?
Do accept your life as it is and,
Do learn from it always.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Science gives us a powerful vocabulary, and it is impossible to produce a vocabulary with which one can only say nice things.
quote by John Charles Polanyi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
Neil Gaiman in Sandman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Illegitimate's
I work for a man who own's a farm.
I work for a man with a stable FULL of horses.
I work for a man who own's a resturant.
I work for a man who own's three Lexus's (one for him, one for her, one for HER horse) .
I work for a man who sails the caribean for HIS holiday's.
' Illegitimate's! ! ! ! ! ! '
The last time I was in this situation, there was two of them.
Luckily this time there is only one!
I work for a man who own's a bakery.
I work for a man who has an Olympic sized swimming pool (half inside and half outside of his house) .
Etc, Etc, Etc, Etc,
poem by Roger Costello
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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