When I read the pilot 'for Married with Children', it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe... just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He'd come home from work, and the wife would maybe say 'I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway'. And he would say 'Fine, what's for dinner?
quote by Ed O'Neill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Learning English
I was taught four lines to begin with.
1 Good morning.1 How do you do?
3 Are you married? 4 How many children?
I tested them with the first woman I met.
Good morning: good morning.
How do you do: fine.
Are you married? Not yet.
How many children? A slap on my cheek.
What went wrong? Is sequence changed?
I tried it again with another woman.
Good morning: good morning
How do you do? Fine.
Have you got children? Two.
Are you married? A slap on my cheek again.
I quit learning English.
25.03.2006
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Togetherness Is Gone
My wife,
Stop cleaning the house
Please come here
To accompany me
My husband,
The house is dirty
We aren't able to pay the maid
You've already retired
My wife,
Don't cook
It's a holiday
Let us eat outside the home
My husband,
Don't eat outdoors
We need efficient
You've already retired
My wife,
Let's keep me company
Why the rush to sleep
It's still early
My husband,
I have to get up early
To clean the house
And prepare breakfast
My wife,
I have to go this morning
My friends were waiting
Long we don't meet
My husband,
Be careful on the road
Greetings for your friends
But, why not breakfast?
My wife,
You have fallen asleep last night
I see you sleeping soundly all
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I'm sorry
I don't welcome you home
But, why should sleep on the sofa?
My wife,
I have to go again
I have social activities
With my old friends
My husband,
Don't forget dinner at home
You look very dapper
Although not wear perfume
My wife,
sorry, we were very busy
I had dinner with friends
Happy dinner, dear
My husband,
I woke up too early
But you're not at home
Where are you?
My wife,
I came home at midnight
I have to go early in the morning
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I just finished washing clothes
I've found the clothes that you wear today
But, why the smell of perfume?
poem by Hasanudin Sofyan
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A Married Man's A Fool
(Willie McTell)
Had a friend, Louie Brown, he was a deacon
Just as wise as he could be
Now I realized he could read the Good Book
Back from Revelations down to Genesis
You know last Sunday morning we was over to the church
My buddy wants to take him a stand
And he looks out upon that whole congregation
The Good Book in his hand
Now he cast his eye about, and then he looks over in the Amen Corner
All the sisters commenced to shout [What'd he say ?]
He said a married man's a fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
She stick by you all your life the chances is mighty slim
Now you read the Good Book, chapter twenty-one:
Every married woman got to have a little fun
Read on over chapter twenty-two:
It's a sin to let that woman make a fool outta you
Now you read a little further, chapter twenty-three:
She two-time you, brother, like she double-crossed me
Read on back, over chapter ten:
She shimmy one time, you got the problem again
'Cause a married man's a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him, I mean, loves nobody else but him
Well, a married man's a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him
She stands by you all your life the chances is mighty and slim
Now you read on over twenty-fifth page:
Married womens, Lord, is hard to engage
Read kinda careful, chapter twenty-six:
Back door slamming you got to learn to get it fixed
Read on out, chapter twenty-eight:
Who's that back slidin' out through the back gate ?
I believe I'll close on chapter twenty-nine:
Woman get tired of the same man all the time
'Cause a married man's fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Married Mans A Fool
(willie mctell)
Had a friend, louie brown, he was a deacon
Just as wise as he could be
Now I realized he could read the good book
Back from revelations down to genesis
You know last sunday morning we was over to the church
My buddy wants to take him a stand
And he looks out upon that whole congregation
The good book in his hand
Now he cast his eye about, and then he looks over in the amen corner
All the sisters commenced to shout [whatd he say ? ]
He said a married mans a fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
She stick by you all your life the chances is mighty slim
Now you read the good book, chapter twenty-one:
Every married woman got to have a little fun
Read on over chapter twenty-two:
Its a sin to let that woman make a fool outta you
Now you read a little further, chapter twenty-three:
She two-time you, brother, like she double-crossed me
Read on back, over chapter ten:
She shimmy one time, you got the problem again
cause a married mans a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him, I mean, loves nobody else but him
Well, a married mans a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him
She stands by you all your life the chances is mighty and slim
Now you read on over twenty-fifth page:
Married womens, lord, is hard to engage
Read kinda careful, chapter twenty-six:
Back door slamming you got to learn to get it fixed
Read on out, chapter twenty-eight:
Whos that back slidin out through the back gate ?
I believe Ill close on chapter twenty-nine:
Woman get tired of the same man all the time
cause a married mans fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Johns Band
Well the first days are the hardest days
Dont you worry anymore
Cause when life looks like easy street
There is danger at your door
Now think this through with me
Let me know your mind
Oh what I want to know
Is are you kind
Now its a buck dancers choice my friends
Better take my advice
You know all the rules by now
And the fire from the ice
Now will you come with me
Wont you come with me
Oh what I want to know
Will you come with me
Sister well I declare
Have you seen the like
Their walls are built of cannon balls
Their motto is dont tread on me
Come hear uncle johns band
Playing to the tide
Come with me or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
Its the same story the crow told me
Its the only one he knows
Like the morning sun you come
And like the wind you go
Aint no time to hate
Barely time to wait
Oh what I want to know
Where does the time go
I live in a silver mine
And I call it beggers tomb
Ive got me a violin
And I beg you call the tune
Anybodys choice
I can hear your voice
Oh what I want to know
How does the song go
Come hear uncle johns band
By the riverside
Got some things to talk about
Here beside the rising tide
Come hear uncle johns band
Playing to the tide
Come on come on or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
Whoa what I want to know
How does the song go
Come hear uncle johns band
By the riverside
Got some things to talk about
Here beside the rising tide
Come hear uncle johns band
Playing to the tide
Come on along or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
Come hear uncle johns band
(brother)
By the riverside
(aint no time to hate)
Got some things to talk about
(sister)
Here beside the rising tide
(aint no time to wait)
Come hear uncle johns band
Playing to the tide
Come on along or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Parody Of “Uncle Ned”
DERE was an old nigger, and him name was Uncle Tom,
And him tale was rather slow;
Me try to read de whole, but me only read some,
Because me found it no go.
Den hang up de auther Mrs. Stowe,
And kick de volume wid your toe—
And dere's no more public for poor Uncle Tom,
He am gone whar de trunk—lining go.
Him tale dribbles on and on widout a break,
Till you hab no eyes for to see;
When I reached Chapter 4 I had got a headache,
So I had to let Chapter 4 be.
Den hang up, etc.
De demand one fine morning for Uncle Tom died,
De tears down Mrs. Stowe's face ran like rain;
For she knew berry well, now dey'd laid him on de shelf,
Dat she'd neber get a publisher again.
Den hang up, etc.
poem by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
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When I stopped at home one day
Early in the morning
I gave the children food
and a goodbye kiss
to my still sleeping wife.
At times I dropped them
at school
and turned with the road
to the highway
to get to work
and when I stopped at home one day
there were no children
that came running out,
no wife knocking
at the outside door
and all the dogs were suddenly silent
and life took
its own course
and every thing
had passed just too quickly.
poem by Gert Strydom
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We Got Married
Going fast, coming soon
We made love in the afternoon.
Found a flat, after that
We got married.
Working hard for the dream,
Scoring goals for the other team,
Times were bad, we were glad
We got married.
Like the way you open up your hearts to each other,
When you find a meeting of the minds.
Just as well love was all we ever wanted,
It was all we ever had.
Further on in the game,
Waiting up till the children came.
Place your bets, no regrets,
We got married.
We got married.
We got married.
Nowadays every night flashes by
At the speed of light,
Living life, loving wife,
We got married.
I love the things that happen
When we start to discover
Who we are and what were living for,
Just because love was all we ever wanted
It was all we ever had.
Its not just a loving machine,
It doesnt work out
If you dont work at it.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Day In Day Out
in the morning you work
the work is dull till you see her
with hair as golden as the sun
a face that only compairs to the gods
the day gose quickly and you go home
though you only think of her
the worker known as the boss
you see her in the dark and
in the light but you are sleeping
next to your wife
the next day you go to work
though you find know one
that has a face that more
gorgeous as a god
or hair as golden as the sun
insted you find that the goddess
with the hair as golden as the sun
the face that makes even the god jelouse
never egsisted but in your mind
though when you get home
your eye go as wide as tho sun
when you see the face that make god jelouse
is the one that you married shes your wife
so you see her every night with flower in hand
for the ladie with the golden hair
poem by Daniel Thompson
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Uncle Johns Band
Uncle johns band
By: jerry garcia, robert hunter
1970
Well the first days are the hardest days
Dont you worry anymore
cause when life looks like easy street
There is danger at the door
Think this through with me
Let me know youre mine
Ooh, oh, all I want to know is
Are you kind
Its a buck dancers choice my friend
You better take my advice
You know all the rules by now
And the fire from the ice
Will you come with me
Wont you come with me
Ooh, oh all I want to know
Will you come with me
Goddamn I declare
Have you seen the like
Their walls are built of cannon balls
There motto is dont tread on me
Come here uncle johns band
Playing to the tide
Come on along or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
Its the same story the crow told me
Its the only one he knows
Like the morning sun you come
And like the wind you go
Aint no time to hate
Barely time to wait
Ooh, oh all I want to know
Where does the time go
I live in a silver mine
And I call it beggars tomb
Ive got me a violin
And I beg you call the tune
Anybodys choice
I can hear your voice
Ooh, oh all I want to know
How does the song go
Come here uncle johns band
By the river side
Got some things to talk about
Here beside the rising tide
Come here uncle johns band
Play into the tide
Come on along or go alone
Hes come to take his children home
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fine Pearls
To the flute players,
To the professional mourners,
Don't cast your pearls before the swine;
What kind of man is this that i have to touch his tallit?
Fine pearls, fine pearls!
What kind of woman is this?
She who had been the wife of Uriyah.
To sit down with Abraham,
To sit down with Isaac,
TO sit down with Yaaqob,
Your eyes will see this and more;
For i am the one with the fine pearls.
Was Cain not Abel's brother?
Was Esau not Yaaqob's brother?
Outwitted by the wise men when,
The fine pearls were laid bare.
Meek and lowly in heart,
Where are you lovely ones?
He who is not with me is against me,
But my mind will always write.
To be trained like a bird,
To be trained like a pilot,
Like a young child and his father;
Peace to the heavens with the fine pearls when,
My mind do the writing.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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At Home
At home
Wife was
Fighted every time...
With his husband...
One day husband
Run to girl friend too
Love married...?
The wife
Fighted for dog
And his children....
Husband happy
For newely married...!
Tommrow lot of fights
Thear enjoy...
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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The Swan I Married Became a Moose
Crusted mustard breath,
I awakened to...
When I loved you.
String beans on your teeth,
I thought divine.
One time.
But when we got divorced,
I forced myself to really see...
How the Swan I married,
Became a Moose!
A big and wide behind,
I didn't mind to follow.
I thought it fantastic,
To climb on top.
When we made our version,
Of love.
But when we got divorced,
I forced myself to really see...
How the Swan I married,
Became a Moose!
I saw you recently,
I did not recognize you.
My eyes laid on your breasts,
And hips so fine.
But then you reminded me,
Of my ignorance.
And what that did to you.
You then left me looking stunning!
And I felt such the fool!
Crusted mustard breath,
I awakened to...
When I loved you.
String beans on your teeth,
I thought divine.
One time.
But when we got divorced,
I forced myself to really see...
How the Swan I married,
Became a Moose!
And that 'moose' today...
I wish I had not abused!
'Wow, dude?
WHO was that gorgeous woman you tried to hit on?
She's hot! '
That 'was' my ex-wife!
'Yeah, right.
Then one of us is a big liar.
You told me your ex-wife
Could be a side attraction at a circus! '
That was my ex-wife!
'Okay. Snap out of it! '
That was my ex-wife.
'Man, you okay?
Hey...
We all got our fantasies, right? '
Seriously,
That WAS my ex-wife!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hes A Go Getter
Hes a go getter, go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Now Ive got a neighbor that lives down the road a ways
His wife holds down a steady job, he dont turn his hand all day
I know that most of you will know the kind Im talkin about
The kind that rather than have to work, hed rather do without
But hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Theres a group of men in the court house yard any time that you go by
Playin checkers and tradin odds and makin jokes about their wives
They wait all week for pay day and they hold the moneys plenty
And the wife thats worked those long hard hours never gets a penny
But hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Yes hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
Hes a go getter, a go getter
When his wife gets off from work, hell go get her
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Johns Band
Well the first days are the hardest days, dont you worry any more,
cause when life looks like easy street, there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?
Its a buck dancers choice my friend; better take my advice.
You know all the rules by now and the fire from the ice.
Will you come with me? wont you come with me?
Wo, oh, what I want to know, will you come with me?
Goddamn, well I declare, have you seen the like?
Their wall are built of cannonballs, their motto is dont tread on me.
Come hear uncle johns band playing to the tide,
Come with me, or go alone, hes come to take his children home.
Its the same story the crow told me; its the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Aint no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?
I live in a silver mine and I call it beggars tomb;
I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune,
Anybodys choice, I can hear your voice.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?
Come hear uncle johns band by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about, here beside the rising tide.
Come hear uncle johns band playing to the tide,
Come on along, or go alone, hes come to take his children home.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go.
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Married Men
(bugatti - musker)
Producers for bonnie: ronnie scott, steve wolfe
Bonnie recorded this song in 1979 for the film the world is full of married men. the lyrics are taken from the japanese single.
The world is full of married men
With wives who never understand
Theyre looking for someone to share
The excitement of a love affair
Just as soon as they find you
They wine you and dine you
You fly on the wings of romance
But in the eyes of the world
Youre just another crazy girl
Who loves a married man
Oh your love is a secret
And youve got to keep it
As long as you can
No dont cry for your lover
Theres always another married man
The world is full of married men
Oh yeah you make him feel so young
But his wife will still be number one
He promises to marry you
Just as soon as his divorce
Comes through
And its not just a fling
He swears its the real thing
A love that could last till the end
As hes driving away
You know its true what they say
About married men
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it again and again
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it, married men
Oh hell run when the scandal
Gets too hot to handle
Hell say I just want to be friends
They hell walk out of your life
Hell go home to his wife
cause hes a married man
Oh your love is a secret
And youve got to keep it
As long as you can
No dont cry for your lover
Theres always another married man
The world is full of married men
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it again and again
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it, married men
Hell walk out of your life
And go home to his wife
A married man
Dont cry for your lover
Theres always another married man
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it again and again
They do it, they do it, they do it
They do it, married men....repeat and fade
song performed by by Bonnie Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Holiday
The Wife
The house is like a garden,
The children are the flowers,
The gardener should come methinks
And walk among his bowers,
Oh! lock the door on worry
And shut your cares away,
Not time of year, but love and cheer,
Will make a holiday.
The Husband
Impossible! You women do not know
The toil it takes to make a business grow.
I cannot join you until very late,
So hurry home, nor let the dinner wait.
The Wife
The feast will be like Hamlet
Without a Hamlet part:
The home is but a house, dear,
Till you supply the heart.
The Xmas gift I long for
You need not toil to buy;
Oh! give me back one thing I lack –
The love-light in your eye.
The Husband
Of course I love you, and the children too.
Be sensible, my dear, it is for you
I work so hard to make my business pay.
There, now, run home, enjoy your holiday.
The Wife (turning)
He does not mean to wound me,
I know his heart is kind.
Alas! that man can love us
And be so blind, so blind.
A little time for pleasure,
A little time for play;
A word to prove the life of love
And frighten care away!
Tho’ poor my lot in some small cot
That were a holiday.
The Husband (musing)
She has not meant to wound me, nor to vex –
Zounds! but ‘tis difficult to please the sex.
I’ve housed and gowned her like a very queen
Yet there she goes, with discontented mien.
I gave her diamonds only yesterday:
Some women are like that, do what you may.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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I Cannot Sleep
Let me be your wife if,
You are not married;
Let me be one of your wives if,
You are married;
I have your muse all over me and,
I cannot sleep.
My dreams are full of your image,
My mind is always on you;
Let me be closer to you my dream lover.
I have everything and i need your love to crown it,
I am lost in a place and all that i need is you;
Let me be your wife if you are not married.
I have all that one needs in life but,
Your love is what i do lack;
So let me be one of your wives if,
You are already married.
I need you and, i will care more for you;
I am lost in place and,
Your love is all that i need to find my way home.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Typical of a day
And then
I got up feelin aite
Hopin the day would be beautiful
I washed ma face and had breakfast
Went out of home to ma work place
To ma lill office, to ma lill space
And then
I said to ma self
I'll have to do ma best today
And work harder than the other day
And then
I did ma best, went for a break
Took some rest, had a cappucino and a cake
And then
Back to work, , , and handle as much as I can take
And then
The clock struck one
When all the paper work was done
And then
I had to see some friends
Just for chats and laughs
It's been long since we met
And hanged out together
Like birds of the same feather
We had a great time anyway
And parted sayin we'll meet soon another day
And then
I walked home, ma cozy sweet home
Where I live with ma dog all alone
Where I always come to hear and see
What's goin on this world in my TV
Through CNN and BBC
And then
Gave ma dog, , his lunch or dinner
He can call it whatever
Sat one ma sofa, turned on the TV
Saw this cool but kinda sad movie
And then
I cried and cried and cried
For that movie had reminded me
Deep down inside I was so damn lonely.
And then
I cried some more.
poem by Arsiema Berhane
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