You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
quote by Frank Zappa
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
What is the only provocation that could bring about the use of nuclear weapons? Nuclear weapons. What is the priority target for nuclear weapons? Nuclear weapons. What is the only established defense against nuclear weapons? Nuclear weapons. How do we prevent the use of nuclear weapons? By threatening the use of nuclear weapons. And we can't get rid of nuclear weapons, because of nuclear weapons. The intransigence, it seems, is a function of the weapons themselves.
quote by Martin Amis
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Gary likes a girls tight black pants
Larry knows he doesnt stand a chance
Carl says hurry up and order it quick
Dave gets out to chase that chick
Dennis wonders whats under the hood
A big chrome tach and it sounds real good
I go down to the root beer stand
And drink up all that I can
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Brians still glued to the radio
Louies lookin out the rear window
Guys got around to orderin fries
But root beers my best buy
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Each To His Or To Her Own
I only came into the pub for to have a quiet beer
But talk of football all I hear I ask what brought me here
And I thought there was more to life than talking of football
But with that at the Local Pub few would agree at all.
One fellow said my team doing well with stress on the word my
Methought he thinks he owns the team or so he seems to imply
And then he sang a line from the anthem of his club 'When the Saints go marching in'
His voice was booming loud and clear above the bar room din.
Suppose it beats talking of war or politics maybe
Though football a boring subject or so 'twould seem to me
But each to his or her own as they say and those words seem so true
And to them I seemed a boring man one of the unenlightened few.
One asked me what team do you barrack for mate, I said who win or lose
Won't matter much to you or I it won't pay for our booze
At which he only laughed aloud saying you must have a team
Or in your present company you are out of place 'twould seem.
Indeed I said how right you are on this we can agree
For you are you and I are I we see things differently
He shouted to the barman give the man a beer he's not a bad old boy
Though on a few important things we do not see eye to eye.
I bought him a beer before I left, thank you old boy he said
And he started to sing 'Good Old Collingwood' the booze had gone to his head
And as I walked out in the night the moon shone in the sky
And a boobook owl called on a gum in the Parkland nearby.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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This Is The Football Season
This is the football Season it is that time of year
When men in the pub talk football as they enjoy their beer
And look forward to September when one club will fly the winner's flag
The team that wins the Premiership gives their fans the right to brag.
Their wives nicknamed the footy widows their husbands at the football club
Or after work talking football with their mates down at the local pub
They take football so seriously 'tis their passion in life
The footy fan loves his football club as much as his children or his wife.
And if their team lose at the weekend they feel and look so sad
What's known as football addiction they seem to have it bad
They feel sad for their football team and the chance of four premiership points gone
But they cheer up and look forward to next weekend's game as the working week wears on.
This is the football Season football has gone to their head
And their football scarves and beanies they even wear to bed
About their team they feel so passionate as if to them it did belong
And 'tis with delight and pride in victory that they sing the club song.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm On The Football Team
Coach says I'm real good...Best kid in the neighbourhood.
Looks like I've got a future ahead of me.
Starting quarterback, number 13. Mom and Dad are so proud of me.
I'm down with the cool kids, oh yeah.
They know I'm cool, the chicks dig me, and it's okay.
I get replaced, but it's alright, 'cause they all know...I'm on the football team.
Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na
I'm on the football team. (x2)
I'm getting chicks left and right. They're lined up for Saturday night.
Just to go down on me, oh yeah.
And when I walk down the hall, all of the nerds and geeks fall,
down on their knees and worship me.
They know I'm cool, the chicks dig me, and it's okay.
I get replaced, but it's alright, 'cause they all know...I'm on the football team.
Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na
I'm on the football team. (x4)
Hey dad guess what!
What's that son?
I'm on the football team.
Well jimminy in the buckhole.
Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na
I'm on the football team. (x4)
song performed by by All American Rejects
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Son Of A Gun
I wish I had a barrel of rum
and sugar three hundred pound.
I’d put it in the College bell
and stir it ‘round and ‘round.
Let ev’ry honest fellow
drink his glass of hearty cheer,
For I’m a student of old Dartmouth
and a son of a gun for beer.
I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a,
son of a gun for beer.
I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a,
son of a gun for beer,
Like ev’ry honest fellow I like my whiskey clear.
For I’m a student of Old Dartmouth
and a son of a gun for beer.
And if I had a daughter, sir,
I’d dress her up in green;
I’d put her on the campus
just to coach the freshman team.
And if I had a son, sir,
I’ll tell you what he’d do
He’d yell, ‘To Hell with Harvard!’
like his Daddy used to do.
(Chorus)
poem by Anonymous Americas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Serene Saturday
Serene Saturday
It's Saturday
and I’m listening to the football
on the radio
It's Saturday
and I’m listening to the football
while slurping my coffee
and having a cigarette
It's not my team who are playing
they play tomorrow
I'm on the brink of falling asleep
but I’m fighting it
My leg is twitching, must be the coffee
I’ve drank too much of it today
Meanwhile my cigarette has burned out in the ashtray
The football has just finished as I wake up,
the classified results are being read out
I light up a cigarette and lie back with my eyes closed
and I remember my dream, 'I’ve had weirder' I think to myself
taking a drag of my cigarette
I wonder, should I get some beer tonight? Decisions, decisions,
yeah, I probably will, maybe cider, yeah, beer and cider...yeah
Andrew Matthews
01/05/2002
16: 26: 01
poem by Andrew Matthews
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Beer And Bones
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
I got to work this morning
Early this afternoon
Yeah my boss man nudged me
Said son I need to talk to you
You used to make me money
But lately I been taking a loss
Well he smelled my breath
Gave me what was left
Of the day off
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Well I wish I could go home
And rest my weary head
But I know I'll just stay here
And have another beer instead
That little waitress asked me
Honey could you use some help
I said I thank you miss
I'll have to get through this
By my dang self
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer & Bones
(sanger d. shafer/lonnie williams)
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
I got to work this morning
Early this afternoon
Yeah my boss man nudged me
Said son I need to talk to you
You used to make me money
But lately I been taking a loss
Well he smelled my breath
Gave me what was left
Of the day off
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
Well I wish I could go home
And rest my weary head
But I know Ill just stay here
And have another beer instead
That little waitress asked me
Honey could you use some help
I said I thank you miss
Ill have to get through this
By my dang self
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On My Saturday
On My Saturday
I want to
Make a wish
Capture a dream
Drive a fast car
Drink a cold beer in a neighborhood bar
I just want to bet on a football game
Shoot a game or two of pool
Head home
BBQ something good
Drink more cold beer
Act a little crazy
Maybe catch a fish
Make a wish
Be part of a team
Capture a dream
I want to
On my Saturday
poem by E.Marie AldrichCreasy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It's very certain that North Korea is developing nuclear weapons for offensive purposes. They don't need nuclear weapons to defend their own country.
quote by Kim Y. Sam
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think there are many times when it would be most efficient to use nuclear weapons. However, the public opinion in this country and throughout the world throw up their hands in horror when you mention nuclear weapons, just because of the propaganda that's been fed to them.
quote by Curtis Lemay
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If we are really anxious not to have nuclear weapons in Iran, the first thing is to call an international conference on abolishing all nuclear weapons, including Israeli nuclear weapons.
quote by Bruce Kent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We're basically after Joe's beer money, and Joe likes his beer, so you better make sure that what you give him is at least as pleasurable to him as having his six-pack of beer would be.
quote by Jerry Pournelle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.
quote by Billy Carter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold Beer, Women and Music
I like cold beer on a hot day
I like hot women on a cold day
I like music on a hot or cold day
I like to have cold beer in my pad
I like to have my women scantily clad
I like to have my music not bad
I like my cold beer enshrouded
I like my women endowed
I like my music loud
I like my cold beer in my right hand
I like my women tanned
I like my music close at hand
I like cold beer to unwind
I like women to dine
I like music to remind
I like cold beer with women
I like women with cold beer
I like cold beer and women with music
poem by Bill Kamen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I call upon the scientific community in our country, those who gave us nuclear weapons, to turn their great talents now to the cause of mankind and world peace: to give us the means of rendering these nuclear weapons impotent and obsolete.
quote by Ronald Reagan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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End Of The Season Drama
Nerves all jittery and fraught
fingernails chewed to the quick
this is the lot of the football fan
end of the season can make you sick.
One minute your team is staying up
the next you're on your way down
that smile you had on your face
is now replaced with a miserable frown.
With mobiles flashing up scores
and radios pressed to one's ear
it's either going to be bubbly Champagne
or crying into a pint of flat beer.
No time for a sun drenched vacation
Gardening, Fishing, or a spot of D.I.Y.
to the fan this is a really serious matter
but it's only football I can hear you cry.
Try saying that to the weary supporter
who follows his team home and away
when faced with the dreaded relegation
he drops to his knees to pray.
She's threatened to pack her bags again
and go back home to her Mum and Dad
but the thought of his beloved club
and relegation is what's really making him sad.
At last he knows his clubs fate
and their not going down after all
but when he hears that his lady has left him
he just shrugs and says she never liked football.
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Playbook
We sat around
and drank beer
watched a football game
on a bright warm
Sunday afternoon.
We shuffled poker cards
and played without betting
so after a few hands I folded
and opened another beer.
I sat back and watched
the game on a
wide screen HD TV.
Middle age men cheering
a team that was doomed
from the start of the game.
We ate sandwiches and
complained about the price of gas
and property taxes
and all the other scabs
that come from
domesticated dementia
the conversations were weak
at best so we broke out
a bottle of tequila
and took a few shots
during halftime.
Nobody smokes anymore
so I walked outside
smoked a cigarette
nobody smokes anymore
as I came back in
a few of the men were
comparing matrimony
to football and how one
needs to call the right plays
to get ahead and finally score
to win a couple of times
in this very long season
of self inflicted love
I opened a cold one
and listened
as the tequila
took hold of some
loudly cheering
because our team
had scored and
we still were
two touchdowns behind
with under two minutes
left in the game
we toasted once more
before the clock ran out
and our team lost another one
we readjusted as we mentioned
our chores that awaited us at home.
Nobody took another shot,
our wives would be waiting
for each of us to get home.
as we headed towards our cars
we waved farewell to each other
we must do this again soon
we knew at this stage in our lives
our playbook was thin...
poem by Charles Lara
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.
quote by Samuel L. Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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