I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
quote by Paul Merton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I always wanted to be a dentist from the time I was in high school, and I was accepted to dental school in the spring of 1972. I was planning to go, but after the Olympics there were other opportunities.
quote by Mark Spitz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Maybe Im Amazed
(paul mccartney)
All right, heres one you may well know, you may not know it
And if you dont know it, I really dont know where youve been,
So you should know the tune. here we go!
Maybe Im amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way Ill leave you
Baby, Im amazed at the way you fool me all the time
You hung me on a line
Oh baby, Im amazed at the way I really need you
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, Im a lonely man whos in the middle of something
That he doesnt really understand
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, youre the only woman that could ever help me
Baby, wont you try to understand
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, Im a lonely man whos in the middle of something
That he does not really understand - good god, hoo
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, youre the only one that could ever help me
Baby, wont you try to understand
Baby, Im amazed at the way youre with me all the time
Baby, Im afraid of the way Ill leave ya
Baby, Im amazed at the way you help me sing the song
You right me when Im wrong
Baby Im amazed at the way I really need ya
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, Im a lonely man whos in the middle of something
That he does not really understand
Baby, Im a man, oh baby, youre the only woman that could ever help me
Baby, wont you try to understand
There you go, heh
Baby Im amazed, the way I really need you
Alright. just about warming up and getting into it right about here.
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Most every dental school has discount dental services.
quote by Matthew Lesko
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.
Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.
Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.
1 April 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Old Records Never Die
(ian hunter)
Sometimes you realize
That there is an end to life.
Yesterday I heard them say
A heros blown away.
And its so hard to lose
Someone whos close to you.
Oh me, I did not see
The danger every day.
But musics something in the air,
So he can play it anywhere.
Old records never die.
Get youre healing from a song,
Just when everything goes wrong.
Play it right
Through the night
Till morning brings you light.
And if some folk laugh at you
Let em all laugh they never knew.
Oh all those scenes, to me it seems
Some folk never dream.
? ? , I feel a force
Rebel with some other cause.
Old records never die.
Old records never die.
You can watch the waves roll by.
You can see it in their eyes.
Old records never die.
Old records never die.
You can watch the waves roll by.
? ?
Old records never die.
I can hear you
And I know why
Old records never die.
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Maybe Im Amazed
Baby Im amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I love you
Baby Im amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you
Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe youre the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help to me understand
(lead solo)
Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe youre the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help me understand
Baby Im amazed at the way youre with me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I leave you
Baby Im amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when Im wrong
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you
(chorus no words)
(lead solo)
(chorus no words) (fades away)
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Societies need to have one illness which becomes identified with evil, and attaches blame to its victims.
quote by Susan Sontag
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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5th June 2000
The crash of AIRLINK at KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,
But without enough transparency to help the victims involved;
And my father was one of the passengers.
This occured on 5th June 2000 and only 42 passengers survived the crash,
But AIRLINK has not resolved the case up to date;
And it is very appalling without any compensation.
It is like the Chaplain and the Chaperon,
And my father was admitted at the '37 Military Hospital' in Accra-Ghana;
But AIRLINK has forgotten about the 'Roses' on board,
However my father is still alive to tell about his own experiences on this crash.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Insomnia Blues?
Fear of getting caught got you up and scared?
Are YOU afraid that you have been identified?
Are ya stewin' in your own juices honey?
While your PC actions are clarified? ;
With those cute little ole' attachments your sendin'---
But ya know they ain't no good---
Are you worried at all little darlin?
The shrew of the neighborhood;
See we got your number a while back--!
You and your west coast CONNECT...! ! !
Idenity fraud-is really quite odd!
Especially when you practice to infect!
June 3,2010
A Poem About Hackers
And Virus Senders.
Some Of Who Have Been Identified.
This is the kind of thing that should
Never go on but it does and it is a
Very cruel and sick thing.
Dedicated to all of you who have been
Their victims! ! ! !
Heres to catching them all! ! !
It is a Federal Crime
poem by Theodora Onken
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Crash And Burn
written by: V. Peterson/R. Sweet
##Main Voice: Vicki
L.A. to Reno
Checking out the scene-o
Feeling so mean-o
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Winding through the hot night
Without my headlights
20/20 hindsight
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Crash and burn
And I never ever felt so lonely
Crash and burn
Can't look them in the eye
Just want to drive and drive and drive
Going nowhere
And I don't care
Can't wait 'til I get there
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety
Gotta be a place where they can't find me
Watching all those bridges burn behind me
And if I can't see
What's passing me
Nothing's gonna touch me and I'll fly
I wish I could crash and burn
On my Philco
I hear an echo
There was a wreck-o yesterday
and by tomorrow
They'll clean the char-o
And wash the tar and trouble away
I wish I would
I wish I could
I wish I would
song performed by by Bangles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crash & Burn
(v. peterson/r. sweet)
Vicki
L.a. to reno
Checking out the scene-o
Feeling so mean-o
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Winding through the hot night
Without my headlights
20/20 hindsight
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Crash and burn
And I never ever felt so lonely
Crash and burn
Cant look them in the eye
Just want to drive and drive and drive
Going nowhere
And I dont care
Cant wait til I get there
Sometimes I wish I could crash and burn
Fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety
Gotta be a place where they cant find me
Watching all those bridges burn behind me
And if I cant see
Whats passing me
Nothings gonna touch me and Ill fly
I wish I could crash and burn
On my philco
I hear an echo
There was a wreck-o yesterday
And by tomorrow
Theyll clean the char-o
And wash the tar and trouble away
I wish I would
I wish I could
I wish I would
song performed by by Bangles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A dentist's assistant named Jule
saw a blister appear on his tool.
Said the dentist 'don't fret
it's the girl that you met
from the Queensland Venereal School.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Those early steps are very important in understanding the evolution. But in themselves, maybe now you need the later records to understand the significance of the earlier records!
quote by Evan Parker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Theses officers were good friends, so it must have been a terrible argument, because the one who played chess with my father was so angry that he walked over to the dentist's house and got the dentist out of bed and shot him.
quote by Bruno Schulz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Anarchy In Tokyo
Here,
the moment of truth
It comes in the air
It's always the same,
it's so insane.
You cover your eyes
you fall inside
before it begins it's over.
Crash,
Crash,
out of control
Lose yourself
Go and even the score
Crash,
Crash,
out of control
Try and start a riot
now you're beggin' for more.
Anarchy in
Tokyo.
They say the city is safe,
the keepers of faith,
the bullet is safe for one and day
Eclipsed by the one
Don't bother to run
The target is on your back
You're done.
Crash,
Crash,
out of control.
Feed the source,
come join in the war.
Crash,
Crash,
out of control.
Take it,
break it
a million or more.
We're outta control (x4)
Crash,
Crash,
Out of control
Feed the source,
come join in the war.
Crash,
Crash,
out of control
Take it
break it
A million or more.
Anarchy in
Tokyo,
Anarchy in
Tokyo.
song performed by by 30 Seconds To Mars
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Richard Pryor records.
quote by Marc Maron
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything's fine.
quote by Jeanne Calment
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Old Dans Records
Get out old dans records
Get out old dans records
We will dance the whole night long
Its fun to play the old time songs
If old dan could see us now
I know hed be so proud
Bring out old dans records
Bring out old dans records
I remember my aunt bea
Shed dance with dan till two or three
If old dan could see he now
I know hed shout out loud
Dig out old dans records
Bring out old dans records
Were all here, weve all got dates
Well dance all night to the seventy-eights
If old dan could see us now
I know hed be so proud
If old dan were with us still
I know hed come around
Get out old dans records
Dig out old dans records
Back to nineteen thirty-five
The foxtrot, jitterbug n jive
If old dan could see us now
I know hed be so proud
Get out old dans records
Bring out old dans records
High above the fireplace
Theres a smile on old dans face
If old dan could see us now
I know hed be so proud
If old dan were with us still
I know hed come around
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Dentist
Sitting in the dentist's chair,
Wishing that I wasn't there,
To forget and pass the time
I have made this bit of rhyme.
I had a rendez-vous at ten;
I rushed to get in line,
But found a lot of dames and men
Had waited there since nine;
I stared at them, then in an hour
Was blandly ushered in;
But though my face was grim and sour
He met me with a grin.
He told me of his horse of blood,
And how it "also ran",
He plans to own a racing stud -
(He seems a wealthy man.)
And then he left me there until
I growled: "At any rate,
I hope he'll not charge in his bill
For all the time I wait."
His wife has sables on her back,
With jewels she's ablaze;
She drives a stately Cadillac,
And I'm the mug who pays:
At least I'm one of those who peer
With pessimistic gloom
At magazines of yester-year
In his damn waiting room.
I am a Christian Scientist;
I don't believe in pain;
My dentist had a powerful wrist,
He tries and tries in vain
To make me grunt or groan or squeal
With probe or rasp or drill. . . .
But oh, what agony I feel
When HE PRESENTS HIS BILL!
Sitting in the dental chair,
Don't you wish you weren't there:
Well, your cup of woe to fill,
Just think of his infernal bill.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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