I am a guest of the French language. My poems in French are born of my interaction with the French language, which is not the same as that of a French poet.
quote by Tahar Ben Jelloun

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I grew up in France, my first language was French, and I tend to gravitate towards French cooking.
quote by Robert Stack

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two cows deconstruct Derrida
These two cows were ruminating
and one says, I was listening
to the milkmaid’s transistor
and this French philosopher
was explaining that there’s
no English translation of the French word
‘betise’ except ‘stupidity’ but
‘stupidity’ only refers to man
where the French ‘betise’ means
to behave like an animal…
and the other cow says
well what’s wrong with that
and the first cow says
well his point is, English cows
can’t be stupid; only man
can be stupid..
and the other cow says
well that’s a relief then
so does that mean that French cows
can be stupid
and the first cow says
no because they don’t have a word for it
in French
so the other cow says
so then is it better to be
an English cow
that can’t be stupid
or a French cow
that can’t be called stupid
and the first cow says
who cares, I’ve always said
the French ruminate too much
and then talk bullshit…
and the other cow says
I’m glad I’m a Jersey
what about that French milkmaid
I call sexyhands but
the farmer sometimes calls
a silly cow I wonder what
Derrida would say about that
poem by Michael Shepherd

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The more English is heard in the world, the more gratifying it seems to speak French, and above all to know the culture of our country. They find a kind of French social grace in the language and culture.
quote by Bernard Pivot

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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French, The Language Of Love
French, the Language of Love.
Darling, speak French to me when we make love, wicked words
I don’t understand, but have a whispering meaning of delight.
I stand before you with salutial erection, a soldier of love ready
to sacrifice myself for your subterranean pleasure.
Your wishes have to be expressed in French or the steed’s chase
will not react with proper force, It will think it’s time to go back
into the stable, hanging about, wondering what went wrong.
At the subway in Paris I was in the way of a woman who wanted
to exit, she swore at me, thinking it were words of love, I kissed
her and was arrested. But released, though when they understood
I was a foreigner, lost in the baffling ways of the French idiom.
poem by Oskar Hansen

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Language Of Love
Excusez-moi, my pretty mademoiselle,
You are a french girl its easy to tell,
Me, I dont smoke not even a french cigarette,
But I love my pomme de terre,
And always croquette,
I am from angleterre and you are from france,
And you will honour me by having a dance.
Chorus:
Straight away!
Im getting ready for a new sensation,
Never kissed them in another nation,
Internationally Im in clover,
I was a native on the boat ride over,
Straight away!
Im getting ready for my new vocation,
I am the man who will unite the nations,
Ooh la la/how you say it/ca va-this is love,
La la la la la la la language of love.
La la la la la la la language of love.
La la la la la la la language of love.
Weve been together now for more than a day,
And I am waiting to hear what you say,
Come on, come on, I think youre telling me lies,
You are italian, I can tell by your eyes,
I love chianti and I hope youll agree,
That zefferelli makes the movies for me
Chorus repeated.
Instrumental
I try my french, latin, spanish and greek,
This is the language of love that I speak,
I never know if theyre from paris or rome,
We stop the talking when Im walking them home,
One little kiss and then heavens above,
This is the universal language of love.
Straight away!
Are you ready for a new sensation,
Im gonna kiss a girl from every nation,
(rest of chorus as before).
This is love-the language of love.
song performed by by Cliff Richard

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Air Fizzles
Oh joy, rejoice, oh sing my soul, tomorrow
a French class with Marali in charge, her
personality bright, she shines like a star
her enthusiasm for life infectious, she is
the essence of inspiration and conveys a
sense of wonder about the language she
teaches, the air fizzles while she is around
her excitement knows no bounds - firing
my imagination and leaving enough space
in which I can wonder and enjoy- I might
be slow in class, talking with difficulty
Drilling in basic grammar and analysing
language structure, I hope we shall follow
the rhythm of the language as it rises and
falls, the melody therein, every sentence
ending on a rising curve, indicative of the
questioning French soul, the deep mistrust
of benevolence infecting the typical French
mood setting the tone for their complaints
Oh joyous life, I am so glad that something
good is coming my way!
poem by Margaret Alice Second

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My way of remaining French was the financing scheme I used for Quest for Fire, with Fox funds, since it started as a 100% American production. The film was not in French and yet was French in style, reflecting my personality.
quote by Jean-Jacques Annaud

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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French Shoes
He was a good lookin guy
Stood about six foot three
Long brown hair
As nice as he could be
Everybody liked him
But he didnt have a clue
He looked silly as hell
In those funny french shoes
You know the type
Without any heels
Leather soles
Kind of a slip on deal
He was cavalier
Whether hed win or lose
But he looked silly as hell
In those funny french shoes
I know its not right
To judge a man by his clothes
By the way that he looks
Or the people he may know
Im embarrassed to say
If I had to choose
I could never really trust
Any man wearing those funny french shoes
Funny french shoes
Funny french shoes
No man should be wearin
Those funny french shoes
They look good on a womans foot
I must say that they do
But no guy should be wearin
Those funny french shoes
Get some socks on, man!
song performed by by John Mellencamp

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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French women have been made beautiful by the French people - they're very aware of their bodies, the way they move and speak, they're very confident of their sexuality. French society's made them like that.
quote by Charlotte Rampling

Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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It was announced as a French victory by the French Minister of War. I did not see any sign of victory but only the retreat of the French forces engaged in the battle.
quote by Philip Gibbs

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Battle of the Herrings
A fishing action
North of France
1429 took place
Cause of battle
French vs. English
Anticipation/baited breath
River – flat plain
Set up strategy
Hook/line/sinker
British attacked first
French were slow
English bombarded fish
French did not
want to get
their shoes wet
Were most certain
outflanked by British
French counter attacked
Used Brie instead
of slippery worms
Won the fishing
competition – yelled Viva’
la fishermen French
“What was that”?
asked the English
“What’s the matter
with you cockneys
Hard of Herring? ”
'2008'
poem by Robert Sheridan

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If French Fries Were Fat Free
Will I need a miss of my life
Each time I went left, I should've gone right
And love's no exception to this rule
Cause I turned around I lost you
Now I'm feeling lonesome and blue
Just the way I expect to
But there's something that I could use
To help me deal with this abuse
If French fries were fat free
And you still love me
If French fries were fat free
And you still love me
What a wonderful world this would be
If the whiskey really helped me
Forget your memory
I'd wear a smile endlessly
If French fries were fat free
And you still love me
You know the more I think about you
The more sense it makes
Cause grease and love both cause heartache
So I raise my glass and toast
These things I want the most
Though I probably never see
I can't help but believing
That if French fries were fat free
And you still love me
What a wonderful world this would be
If the whiskey really helped me
Forget your memory
I'd wear a smile endlessly
If French fries were fat free
And you still love me
Oh if French fries were fat free
And you still love me
song performed by by Alan Jackson

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It wasn't a new idea. During the war against the French we had this kind of broadcast for the French soldiers.
quote by Hanoi Hannah

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French.
quote by Charles de Gaulle

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If French is no longer the language of a power, it can be the language of a counter power.
quote by Lionel Jospin

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Italians cry, the Germans bawl, and the French sing.

English, once accepted as an international language, is no more secure than French has proved to be as the one and only accepted language of diplomacy or as Latin has proved to be as the international language of science.
quote by Edward Sapir

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never had to learn English, French and German because I was brought up as all three languages. I had a private French teacher before I even went to school. That helped a lot.
quote by Karl Lagerfeld

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Even if I think in English, it's more a language of acting than French.
quote by Sophie Marceau

Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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