There was an inquiry just last week about the new Bette Midler show, and I just didn't want to do that.

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Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

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I never know how much of what I say is true.

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I'm working my way toward divinity.

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After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

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Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it's like a jackhammer.

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I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

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If I could be granted a wish, I'd shine in your eye like a jewel.

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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?

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I feel like a million tonight - but one at a time.

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My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

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When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.

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I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

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The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

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Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.

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I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

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I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

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I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It's helped me a lot.

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I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

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I'd make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I'll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.

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