He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?'
quote by Joe Viterelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Surprise in Japan - New Suit
bad laundry work
the fashion store gives me
a new suit
Quite a surprise. The laundrette I sent the suit to for dry cleaning did a bad job. The suit became like a three year old piece of junk. I showed it to the fashion store in Kinshicho where I bought and strangely the manager gave me a new suit.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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SWIM SUIT GIRL...by Talile Ali
I WANNA TAKE A WHIRL
WITH MY RED HEADED
FUNKY WALKIN
SWIM SUIT GIRL
RUN AROUND THE BASES
AS SHE GIVES ME A WHIRL
MAKE IT WITH
MY SWIM SUIT GIRL
DANCE AND ROMANCE
IN HER PANTS
IN A TRANCE LOVIN
MY SWIM SUIT GIRL
OH I CAN'T HELP BUT WANNA
GO FOR A WHIRL
DANCIN WITH
MY SWIM SUIT GIRL
SHE LIKES TO BOOGIE
AND LIKES TO ROCK
SHE'A A BAD ASS ROMANTIC
WITH THE SWEETEST LEG LOCK
AND I LIKE
TO TAKE HER FAR AS I CAN
AND I LIKE
TO DO HER BECAUSE I'M HER MAN
SO I CAN'T WAIT
CAUSE I GOT A DATE
WITH MY SWIM SUIT GIRL
DANCIN AND ROMANCIN
AS SHE GIVE'S ME A TWIRL
SPINNING WITH MY SWIM SUIT GIRL
poem by Talile Ali
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Leisure Suit Serenade
Wearin old t-shirts and grubby jeans
People say I look kinda odd
Well, Im never accepted in the social set
cause they say that Im a clod
But once in a while, I go to my closet
And I put on something mod
And when I step out in my leisure suit
People stand up and applaud
Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors dont fade
Thats the leisure suit serenade
Now, it dont matter if the collars bent
If its got nylon twenty percent
Now Im as cool as the asb president
Leisure suit serenade
Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors dont fade
Thats the leisure suit serenade, oh yeah
Thats the leisure suit serenade
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Bespoke Suit
That bespoke suit it looked grand so beaut
It adorned this guy drinking alone at the bar,
Would he sell it, that smashing suit
Indeed if only, I'd feel like a rising star,
Such a fine cut of pure merino wool
With a blue hanky peeping from his top pocket.
I turned my head an' he was gone leaving my mind to mull,
I ran to the door his car took off like a rocket,
Looking at my poor excuse of a suit so so raggy,
A week fly's by bespoke in my dreams never ending,
Love will never come with my trousers so baggy.
I see a girl stroking that bespoke suit...dreams keep sending,
Well blow me down with a feather there he stands again at the bar,
'Hello there my names John I think your suit is so bespoke,
Would you sell it to me to shine my star, '
'Gimme' double what I paid then it's yours no joke'
A sum agreed an' I put the cash in his hand quick smart,
Within an hour adorned with that bespoke my soul begins to soften,
My life anew dressed so fine lady luck about to start.
Standing at THAT bar a Marilyn Monroe type strokes my suit and says
'Do you come here often? '
poem by Ken e Hall
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Three Button Hand Me Down
(rod stewart, ian mclagen)
I dont need no ones opinion
On the matter concerning my dress.
I was raised in a clinic down in oklahoma,
There were many things I did not possess.
Well I never complained, because my father said,
Son you get your chance before youre my age.
Then he took me upstairs and gave me this suit
(? ) written all over his face
He said, others may come and others may go,
But that suit will be around wherever youre goin
Three button hand me down
Three button hand me down
Hold on a minute
Now I had my fair share of neat women,
But they came between me and my suit.
That was a filly from boston, a barmaid from houston,
Not forgetting the one in detroit.
They said, we like you boy and we think youre sweet,
But cant you lose your suit?
I said, nononono, you cant do that to me
I remember what my father said:
He said, others may come and others may go,
But that suit will be around wherever youre goin
Three button hand me down, ha ha,
Three button hand me down
Ive never been a tidy dresser
And the fold in my trousers it aint straight.
Still I know a good cloth when I see one.
Thats why Im clad in this gray flannel suit.
Sometimes I wonder if I should visit a tailor
And get myself a smooth outfit.
Then I remember what my father said to me.
I make it from the open road, you all know this
He said, others may come and others may go,
But that suit will be around wherever you go
Three button hand me down,
Three button hand me down, ha ha
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Suit
The Suit
After the surgery my son come visiting
he had brought a dark suit along, hung
it in my wardrobe, said he had brought
it along in case we went to a party.
A fortnight later he flew back home but
left the suit behind so he didn’t have
to bring one next time he came visiting.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Do you live your days
To suit yourself, …or to suit
Another one’s ways?
haiku by David Whalen
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Sartorial
Sartorial
Tried on a striped
Blue suit
It made me look like
A fat zebra
Asked the shop girl
If they had a mirror
One that could transform me
Into my conceited
Self image
She said sorry, but no
Bought a bigger suit
Pearly black hides the fat
Off the rack,
Just like that
White turtle neck jumper
A Mercedes icon
Around my neck
God! I look a stylish man.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Skinny Sweaty Man
Flashin' lots of cash and spendin' lots-o-loot
he's sitting at the bar - then he's sittin' at the booth
across the dance floor he does scoot
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
The caboose that could he goes toot toot
been known to gag and sometimes puke
a very good friend of granny goose
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
Skinny sweaty man in the green suit
He's half man and half cartoon
but good buddy don't be confused
he's full blooded looney tune
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
Face to face with the man in the moon
his family doctor is doctor seuss
if you catch him in your soup please don't shoot
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
Skinny sweaty man in the green suit
He was new in town
a free wheelin' clown
a funny young duke
hangin' under the roof
of a place in time
united sound
he'll play a little guitar sing a few blues
he's the kind-a-guy that you can't refuse
despite the fact that he's no brute
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
Strike the magic groove make him jerk and move
like an eight legged freak in snake skin boots
coming soon to a theatre near you
he's the skinny sweaty man in the green suit
song performed by by Red Hot Chili Peppers from The Uplift Mofo Party Plan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I put on the fat suit and went outside and walked around. I was really nervous about being found out, but nobody would even make eye contact with me. It really upset me.
quote by Gwyneth Paltrow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Am The Cat Man
Who's That Man Walking Down,
The Street.
It's A Man In A Cat Suit.
I Said'Sir Your In A Cat Suit'
He Simply Replied 'Yes'.
When He Walked Past He Was Yelling Out.
'I Am The Cat Man, We Are The Cat Men,
I Am The Cat Man, Daa-Daa-Daaaa
Sarah Clifford March 2008
poem by by unknown author
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Little Green Buttons
The honeymoon ended a decade ago,
If he still loves her he don't say so,
So she's taking her blues to the House af Tattoos,
Getting little green buttons on her birthday suit.
Little green buttons all in a row
From her face to the place they ain't never gonna slow.
Might sound crazy but they sure look cute,
Those little green buttons on her birthday suit.
She had supper in the oven when he came home,
Now he's snoring on the sofa to the Late, Late Show.
It was ten days later before he knew
'Bout those little green buttons on her birthday suit.
But now she's living in a house of love,
She's got his attention, he can't get enough
He spends every evening trying to undo
The little green buttons on her birthday suit.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Louder Than Words
The wearing of a man's suit,
A little boy may easily imitate.
But a boy in a man's body,
Whether dressed in a suit or not...
Will still be seen,
As a little boy imitating.
Actions don't always speak,
Louder than the words heard imulated.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Wile Watching the Black and White TV
Your old man
came into the lounge
where you were watching
black and white TV
and your mother was standing
talking to an uncle
it's the baker
your old man said
he wants his £50
what £50?
your mother asked
the £50 I owe him
well pay him
your mother said
I can't
I don't have it
you watched
the cowboy film
with half interest
you took a glance
at the debtor
well tell him
you'll pay him
next week
your mother said
I told him that
last week
your old man said
what did you want
to borrow £50
from the baker for?
your mother asked
her cheeks getting flushed
to buy my new suit
what new suit?
the one I'm having made
you noticed
your old man's
moustache flicker
and he stroked it
as he did
when cornered
your mother
breathed heavy
and you looked
at the uncle
ok
the uncle said
here's the £50
go pay him
what you owe
to get him off your back
but you better pay me back
or I'll bust your head
sure I will
your old man said
going out of the room
clutching the money
in his palm
your mother sighed
and the uncle
put away his wallet
into an inside pocket
and you saw that one
of the cowboys
on the black and white
TV screen
had been shot
and died
the other looked angry
and ugly
and mean.
poem by Terry Collett
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Sand Of Time
Sand of Time
I was on my way to the doss house near the railway station,
it was quarter to eight -had to be in by eight or lose my bed-,
when I saw her in the restaurant talking to her brother, they
shared a bottle of wine. My god, she was as beautiful as ever.
And since it was dark outside I reckoned she didn’t see me,
her brother looked out; perhaps he recognized me because
he bent towards her and whispered something, but before
she could look up I had disappeared into shadows. It was now
ten to eight I ran to the doss house run by The Salvation Army.
I could only have a shower once a week and had been wearing
the same suit for a long time. It was a grey worn suit, but it gave
me a sense that I had some dignity left. However deep a person
falls, he can get up again and in time buy a new suit. This evening
remembering my time of wretchedness, and it struck me I can no
longer remember her face.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Sonnet: Do the Right Things
Are you comfortable in your coat/suit?
Does your neck turn freely while wearing your tie?
Do you evince joy, eating others’ fruit?
Better be pauper than rich man and die!
The things we do must suit the occasion;
We must do those things that suit too, the clime;
What is the use of living in mansion?
You should be content earning just a dime!
Copy not others nor ape someone else;
Do things your brain tells rightly nev’rtheless;
Nothing that’s earthly all the time sells;
Think of the orphans, handicapped, homeless!
You love your brethren and love God through them,
Man’s soul is priceless: costliest the gem!
7-16-2002
poem by John Celes
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Some Prefer What's On The Surface
It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done and quick.
It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done,
Before they run.
Some prefer what's on the surface,
And not below it to pick.
Some prefer what's on the surface,
With no thought attached to it.
Some prefer what's on the surface,
Since it's easier to get.
Without a picking up to leave to then split.
It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
With a getting to be done and quick.
It's in the meaning that comes,
That may not suit everyone...
To pick up,
To leave to then split.
And many will prefer it to sit.
With...
A caring less of meaning in it.
Or...
Discovering themselves,
A meaninglessness.
No one wishes to discover,
A meaning exists.
Or bother to uncover,
A meaninglessness.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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We tend to mislead
We tend to see
That data suit theories.
We tend to see
That reasons suit actions.
Tendencies are
To make up the short coming.
04.03.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.
quote by Robert Benchley
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They don't allow you to go any further unless you can do this bomb suit training, because it puts such a mental strain on your spirit. It dumbs you down about 25 to 30 IQ points. You start to hallucinate in the heat inside the suit after 20-30 minutes. So you try not to stay in it too dang long. So the preparation for that - it's either you have it, or you do not.
quote by Jeremy Renner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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