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I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.

quote by David Antin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Have Reserved Time to Write This; Why?

I sat in the nature reserve
Watching the animals playing football
I was just a reserve
Not in the first eleven

I had a seat in the theatre reserved
I watched the play unfold
I not an actor I’m too reserved
I’m in the audience where I belong

I was called up by the army
Served before; but they wanted me to re-serve
I was playing tennis; the ball went wide
They made me re-serve

Reserve your energy
Reserve your nerve
Keep your humour in reserve
Keep your reserve in reserve

I reserve the right to say you asked me to write this
And I have kept the best in reserve
You will have to reserve an appointment
With a proper poet after you’ve read this

An anagram of reserve
Is reverse
I wish I could reverse time
Then I wouldn’t have wrote this

poem by Michael Micmac Mccrory
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Charge Of The Bread Brigade

Half a loaf, half a loaf,
Half a loaf? Urn-hum?
Down through the vale of gloom
Slouched the ten million,
Onward th' 'ungry blokes,
Crackin' their smutty jokes!
We'll send 'em mouchin' 'ome,
Damn the ten million!

There goes the night brigade,
They got no steady trade,
Several old so'jers know
Monty has blunder'd.
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to buy the pie,
Slouching and mouching,
Lousy ten million!

Plenty to right of 'em,
Plenty to left of 'em,
Yes, wot is left of 'em,
Damn the ten million.
Stormed at by press and all,
How shall we dress 'em all?
Glooming and mouching!

See 'em go slouching there,
With cowed and crouching air
Dundering dullards!
How the whole nation shook
While Milord Beaverbrook
Fed 'em with hogwash!

poem by Ezra Pound
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Common experience is the gold reserve which confers an exchange value on the currency which words are; without this reserve of shared experiences, all our pronouncements are checks drawn on insufficient funds.

quote by Rene Daumal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Are Running On Reserve...(raw, For Edit/revision)

we've been together for so long...
know which route we always take...
when the rains blur our windshields
and the sun heat our seats...
we sleep atop the moon bathed hill...
on beaches with calming waves...
roamed each road we never planned to take

but never we have felt before...

we are running on reserve...
we just cannot tell...
because we are running on reserve
our ride could not end well...

we are running on reserve
we are running on reserve...
we are running on reserve...

a red light keep flashing unnoticed
each bump were too much to take
we are running on reserve
so our end, we cannot tell...

the headlights are dim,
the horns shout making us deaf
the brakes push automatically
we are running on reserve...
and we near our end

poem by Albert Arsenio Sison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Don't Give

Every time you go away
It actually kinda makes my day
Every time you leave, you slam the door
You pick your words so carefully
You hate to think you're hurtin' me
You leave me laughing on the floor, 'cuz-
(Chorus)
I don't give it up,
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
I thought we were just hangin' out (hangin' out)
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth?
You thought the way you taste would get me high- (oh)
You went to all your friends to brag (to brag)
Guys are always such a drag (a drag)
Don't you know the reason the reason that I kissed you was to say good-bye?
(Chorus)
'Cuz I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
Hangin', hangin' out; I am simply
Hangin', hangin' out; I am simply
Hangin'... so why'd you kiss me on the mouth? (why'd you kiss me)
Don't you know that I-
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up, not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up, not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn (I don't give it up)
What you say about that (I don't give a damn)
I don't give it up (I don't give it up)
I don't give a damn ( I don't give a damn)-acapo

song performed by by Avril Lavigne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Half The World

Words by neil peart, music by geddy lee and alex lifeson
Half the world hates
What half the world does every day
Half the world waits
While half gets on with it anyway
Half the world lives
Half the world makes
Half the world gives
While the other half takes
Half the world is
Half the world was
Half the world thinks
While the other half does
Half the world talks
With half a mind on what they say
Half the world walks
With half a mind to run away
Half the world lies
Half the world learns
Half the world flies
As half the world turns
Half the world cries
Half the world laughs
Half the world tries
To be the other half
Half of us divided like a torn-up photograph half of us are
Trying to reach the other half
Half the world cares
While half the world is wasting the day
Half the world shares
While half the world is stealing away

song performed by by Rush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rebel

I am a good old Rebel, that's exactly what I am,
The open land of freedom, I do not give a damn.
We heard a thousand Yankees, well I'm dead on that Southern thing,
We got three hundred thousand, all they ever got next to us.
They gather the Southern people at an old Southern steel shop,
And I wish we'd got three million more, mud we've got.
I can't take off my musket, fire now no more,
But I ain't gonna rebel, yes I got damn sure.
You don't want no part in what I've done or am,
And I will not be reconstructed and I do not give a damn

song performed by by Quicksilver Messenger Service
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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U In Me

(dallas austin)
1999 cyptron music/emi blackwood music (bmi)
(appears on japanese import only)
U in me feels twice as nice
And everything we do is right
Its nasty love but thats all right with me
Once a month is not enough
I think about it every week
Theres other guys
But thats not u in me
Chorus:
I cant understand why it feels so good
I never felt this way before
I want u more and more each day
Even if theres someone else
I might as well take care of myself
Im never satisfied like u in me
Youre so damn special baby yeah
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
Youre so damn special
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me
U in me became unreal
I never hesitate to see
I need it now and thats how it should be
U in me was somethin else
Started messin with my mind
Cuz there will never be me in u (hey hey)
Chorus
Chorus
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
So damn special yeah
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me
Youre so damn special, u know, u know, u know baby
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
So damn special
Cant understand the way I feel
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me
Youre so damn special baby
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
So damn special hey hey hey yeah
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me
So damn special hey oh oh
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
So damn special hey yeah hey yeah
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me
So damn special baby
So damn special
I could have anybody but thats not u in me
So damn special baby hey
Dont wanna give mine up cause I like u in me

song performed by by TLC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Children's Stories

Children's stories seem just that,
Only stories,
Nothing more,
And nothing less,
But what we do not see,
Is that they are more,
They give children things to believe in,
They give them rules to life,
They tell them mistakes,
So they dont have to make them too,
They show them lessons,
They give reason to ways,
Childrens stories,
Give children reasons to live.

poem by Angel Lockheart
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Give A Damn's Busted

(Tony Martin/Tom Shapiro/Joe Diffie)
Well you filled up my head with so many lies
You've twisted my heart 'til something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But, my give a damn's busted
You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted
chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, sorry, nothing
You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents' fault, I mean after all you didn't pick em
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted
Well your therapist says it was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac and your codependent ways
So who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted
Chorus:
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothing
It's a desperate situation
No tellin what you'll do
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through
Come on give me something I can use
My give a damn's busted
Chorus:
Well, I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper
No, man, sorry
Just nothing, no
You've really done it this time
My give a damn's busted

song performed by by Jo Dee Messina
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How I Wish That We Become Friends

i have read your stories
and poems,
and then i wish we can be
friends
much is common between
us, and i want to tell you
that i am always a
part of those poems, and stories,
there is always a link
between us
categorically on the source
of sorrow, the spring of
hope
i have seen your trees
emptying leaves
birds shedding off flumes
i want to take a ride on your
bamboo raft
to go the place that i also
know

but you are a cloud
and i am a pebble
i gaze at you wanting to
hold you
in that moment but then
you are always gone
always leaving
not telling anymore
anyone
where to?

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.

quote by Neil Gaiman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Give Me All Night

(carly simon/gerard mcmahon)
I have no need of half of anything
No half time, no half of a mans attention
Give me all the earth and sky
And at the same time add a new dimension
Half the truth is of no use
Give it all, give it all to me
I can stand it
I am strong that way
Give me all night
Give me the full moon
And if I cant take the whole of you
Give it to me anyway
Give me all night
till the last star fades
And if you cant take my heart and soul
Take it from me anyway
Dont give me fountains, I need waterfalls
And, when I cry my tearsll fill an ocean
The pain of love Ill accept it all
As long as youll join me in that emotion
Half of lovin is no fun
Give it all, give it all to me
I can stand it
I am strong that way
Dont leave me guessing alone
Dont walk me half the way home
You can do that tomorrow
Just give me give me all night.

song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Give A Damn Is Busted

Well, you filled up my head
With so many lies
Twisted my heart
Till something snapped inside
I'd like to give it one more try
But my give a damn's busted
You can crawl back home
Say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard
And cry all night long
go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted
[chorus]
I really wanna care
I wanna feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper
Naw, sorry, nothin'
You can say you've got issues
You can say you're a victim
It's all your parents' fault, I mean
After all, you didn't pick 'em
Well, maybe somebody else has got time to listen
My give a damn's busted
Well, your therapist says
It was all a mistake
A product of the Prozac
And your co-dependent ways
So uh, who's your enabler these days
My give a damn's busted
[chorus]
I really wanna care
I wanna feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper
No, still nothin'
It's a desperate situation
No tellin' what you'll do
If I don't forgive you
You say your life is through
Come on, give me somethin' I can use
My give a damn's busted
Well, I really wanna care
I wanna feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper
No man, sorry
Just nothin, nope
You've really done it this time
My give a damn's busted

song performed by by Jo Dee Messina
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you give an audience a chance they will do half your acting for you.

quote by William Hazlitt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God Damn Me

There isn't enough hot water to be in
There isn't enough salt lake to to lie in
There isn't enough sky to fly in
So softly
There isn't enough breath to breathe
Not for me

Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me

There isn't enough snow to see through
Snows too deep
There isn't enough fog to see through
Not through to me
There isn't enough gain to get from
Not from me

Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me

Nothing changes
Nothing we erase
Nothing to change
Nothing but me

Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me

song performed by by Filter from The Amalgamut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Was It Worth It?

(tennant/lowe)
--------------------
Well I dont know why I was dreaming about you
But I do know that I was dancing without you
Then you smiled, and I was lost
You fall in love, why count the cost?
All I gave to you
All you made me do
I react when I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth giving more
If Id had my way this would have happened much sooner
But until that day it was only a rumour
All at once you changed my life
And led me in to paradise
Where I had to do
What I wanted to
I react when I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth giving more
I reserve the right to live
My life this way, and I dont give
A damn when I hear people say
Ill pay the price that others pay
cause its worth it
Yes its worth living for
cause its worth it
Yes its worth living for
All I gave to you
All you made me do
I react when I hear people ask
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes its worth giving more
And I reserve (what? )
The right to live (where? )
My life this way (how? )
I couldnt give
A damn when I (what? )
Hear people say (who? )
Ill pay the price
That others pay
cause its worth it
Yes its worth living for
cause its worth it
Yes its worth giving more
And its worth it
I dont know why
I never thought Id fall in love
I dont know why
I dont know why
I never thought Id fall in love
I dont know why
I dont know why

song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No No They Don't

No one can express concern,
To those who only associate themselves...
With disrespect.

No love can be shared,
With someone who perceives...
A weakness is there.

Expectations are not too high...
When low self esteem,
Is threatened by achieving mediocrity.

'You can 'trip' if you want to!
By showing fools you can do backflips!
To prove that's what you can do.
And expect them to be awed by it!

You can even scoop them fresh ice cream,
To soothe their 'mooding' too!
With lips dripping from an oozing positivity...
You believe will impress.
With an attention that captures,
To arrest an understanding...
You 'then' can address.

But people like these,
Don't give a damn...
About their own mamas.

You can 'trip' if you want to!
By showing fools you can do backflips!
To prove that's what you can do.
And expect them to be awed by it!

But people like these,
Don't give a damn...
About their own mamas.

No no they don't,
Give a damn about their mamas.
Oh no they don't,
Give a damn about their mamas.
No no they don't,
Give a damn about their mamas.'

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh

quote by Aristophanes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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