The only one that got through was Jimmy Walker, because he plays the gas station attendant. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that we were kind of purists at the time, and we didn't want any comedians.
quote by David Zucker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo
If you want a situation, I'll just tell you the plan
To get on to a station, I am just your very man.
Pack up the old portmanteau, and label it Paroo,
With a name aristocratic—Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
When you get on to the station, of small things you'll make a fuss,
And in speaking of the station, mind, it's we, and ours, and us.
Boast of your grand connections and your rich relations, too
And your own great expectations, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
They will send you out on horseback, the boundaries to ride
But run down a marsupial and rob him of his hide,
His scalp will fetch a shilling and his hide another two,
Which will help to fill your pockets, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
Yes, to fill your empty pockets, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
When the boss wants information, on the men you'll do a sneak,
And don a paper collar on your fifteen bob a week.
Then at the lamb-marking a boss they'll make of you.
Now that's the way to get on, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
A squatter in the future I've no doubt you may be,
But if the banks once get you, they'll put you up a tree.
To see you humping bluey, I know, would never do,
'Twould mean good-bye to our new chum, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
Yes, good-bye to our new chum, Jimmy Sago, Jackaroo.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
quote by Rachel Weisz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I played with Sam Lay, Jimmy Reed, Big Walter Horton, Big Moose Walker, and all those guys.
quote by Jimmy Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.
quote by Jimmy Durante
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Be kind and courteous to the husband
Who / which is
supporting the elderly woman?
Is it the walker or the husband?
The walker never fails,
The husband sometimes forgets;
The walker never protests,
The husband sometimes pretests
and raises his voice;
You can be rude to the walker,
But be kind and courteous to the husband.
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.
quote by Joseph Bologna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Harpua
Om-pa-pa oom-pa-pa oom-pa-pa oom-pa-paaaaa
Fat sweaty bulldog
Stood in the sun
Stone village swamp man
Slow motion run
Tender poke police walker
Precious birthday fudge
Swamp night bull nail
Walker done done
Hot sweaty bulldog stood in the sunthen -
stone village swamp man (is doing a)
slow motion runhere comes the policeman:
tender poke police walkerwhom the dog and the man see as:
precious birthday fudgethen -
swamp night (the man)
bull nail (the dog - the bulldog's claw)
kill the policeman:
walker done done
Me and Harpua
We couldn't care few-a
It happens all the time
We beat Okimo
(Repeat Chorus)
Hot liquor stone jack
Bitter toothless flesh
Shabby pimple chin-slime
Evil milky rash
Me and Harpua
Spastic dead-eyed hound
Oozing dreadlock skullcap
We're coming to your town
We'll help you party down
(Chorus 2x)
Spoken by Trey [with asides by Fishman]:
Once upon a time Far far away from here
There, in a small town...
a small town...
small town...
small...
And on the outskirts of this town
there lived a mean, nasty, furry, ugly hound named Harpua.
Harpua roamed the outskirts of the town every day and he'd walk around looking for a little action.
So of course this day was no different from any other day and here we start the story and we see Harpua walking around on the outskirts of town near the forest kind of at the edge of the forest and he's walking in toward town...
Harpua walked toward the town...
innocently...
And meanwhile in the town...
in a whole different part of the town
there lived a young boy all alone in a suburban neighborhood
and every day he'd sit in his room
and sit on his little couch [AND SMOKE POT!]...
he'd sit on his little couch and
he'd listen to his stereo...
and he'd lay back and
he'd look down next to him and
he'd pet his favorite little [DOG!]
furry little...
oh, he loved his little...
furry...
thing that he pet every day while he listened to his stereo
[while sitting on the couch]
he'd pet his furry [thing on the couch] his furry...
And he looked down and he said
"I love to pet you, my little furry...
thing that I ...
I love you so much that I decided to name you
this name that I love and so I named you...
I love you so...
that's why...
that's why I pet you every day...
that's why I named you...
that's why when I first got you and
I knew how much I loved you...
I decided that I'd give you the name of...
the moniker of...
I'd call you...
your name is...
I DECIDED THAT YOUR NAME WOULD HAVE TO BE...
I'D CALL YOU...
YOUR GOING TO BE CALLED...
I THINK YOUR NAME...
I CALL YOU...
YOU'D GO AS... AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
POSTER NUTBAG!!!!!!!!
Poster Nutbag sat on the couch next to Jimmy...
Poster Nutbag, the furry little kitty-cat Jimmy's pet sat next to Jimmy and he looked up at Jimmy...
and on this particular day Poster Nutbag decided to go for a little walk so Poster Nutbag got up and walked toward the door and Jimmy went to the door and he opened up the door and Poster Nutbag went outside and he started walking across the yard..
and he walk onto the sidewalk and he started walking innocently down the street and he walked down the street and suddenly he found himself wandering...
into a new part of town that he'd never been to...
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
And when he got there he was walking along and suddenly he rounded a corner and in front of him he saw...
he saw Harpua...
Harpua, the ugly dog from the beginning of the story...
and they looked at each other...
tension filled the air...
there was going to be a nasty fight...
Harpua saw Poster Nutbag and began to growl and let a hungry drop of saliva fall onto the floor...
Poster Nutbag coiled his body into a deadly arch...
the fight was about to begin...
ARGAAAAAAAA!
Look, the storm's gone...Dad [Mike]:
Jimmy...
Jimmy [Fish]:
Yes, Dad
D: Jimmy, I have some bad news...
J: What might that be...Dad?
D: It's about your cat, Poster...
J: You wouldn't be talking about Poster Nutbag, now would you?
YOUR CAT DIED!
Poster is deadPoster is deadPoster's SO dead
How about a goldfish? I don't want a goldfish
How about a goldFISH? I don't...want a goldfish
How about A goldfish? I don't want...a goldfish
What do you...
what do you...
what do you...
I want...
What do you...
A dog A dog
There's a dog in the station
With an ugly mutation
And it needs lubrication each day
There's a dog in the station
Contemplating rotation
As a form of recreation and play
A dog
There's a dog in the station
With a bad reputation
It's a sign of the nation's decay
But the dog in the station
Doesn't need a vacation
As the people rush by dressed in gray
A DOG
A DOG
A DOG!!
song performed by by Phish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Jimmy Neutron Theme
Jimmy Neutron Theme
Bowling For Soup
(Jimmy Neutron)
From here to the stars,
With my candy bars,
Rides a kid
With a knack
For inventions.
A super-powered mind,
A mechanical canine,
He rescues the day
From sure destruction.
He's gotta save the world
And get to school on time,
So many things to do
And not much time
So off the ground,
Up in the air,
Out into the atmoshpere,
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
No matter where you are,
You know he can't be far,
Watching the world
Through x-ray vision
And whenever he's around,
Where adventure can be found,
You know that Jimmy Neutron's
On a mission
He's gotta save the world
And get to school on time,
So many things to do
And not much time
So off the ground,
Up in the air,
Out into the atmoshpere,
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
Jimmy Neutron!
Who can we count on?
It's Jimmy Neutron!
song performed by by Bowling For Soup
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Tenth Avenue Breakdown
Well now how you doin' do I know you
Are you living round here or just passing through
Seems like I met you before well how you do
Take care while you're in there, the lights are low
Though the gals are good, they're not the kind you want to know
Just sit back, and drink a stiff one - enjoy the show
They got nothing on me, nothing I can see, nothing that could do me wrong
Cos I'm in my disguise they'll never get wise
Ain't nothing that can cause alarm
One hit that'll do you. You won't look back
You'll be feeling no pain. Put you right on track
Why don't you do it again ah now you're getting the knack
Let's go to a new place, the lights look good
Reflecting the rain across the neighbourhood
Who's that over there, looks like he's up to no good
"Hey what you doing to me, is that a knife that I see
Well are you trying to bring me down
I'm a tryin' to run but my legs are all numb
It's like I'm messin' with the wrong side of town"
You're on the wrong station, you're on the wrong track
You've lost your reservation, now you can't get back
You're getting a shake down, unlucky for you
Tenth Avenue breakdown...
"It's getting rough, just too tough
I'm all abused and so confused
I've got to go, I feel so low, just can't wait
It's gettin' late..."
Spoken: {Policeman's words]
Get down now...
Put your hands behind your head......
You have the right to remain silent ....
Anything you say can be used against you ....
"Don't know who came he just set upon me
It's kind of vague and I'm, I'm kind of groggy
But you must believe me, he just stopped breathing
I didn't do it, it wasn't me
I know it wasn't me"
Gettin' late we can't afford to wait
It's gettin' late we can't afford to wait [repeat]
You're on the wrong station, you're on the wrong track
You lost your reservation and you can't get back
You're getting to shake down, unlucky for you
Tenth Avenue breakdown
It's getting rough, it's just too tough
I'm all abused and so confused
I've got to go, feel so low
Just can't wait
song performed by by Supertramp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Twelve Bar Lil
Sweet Lilly Larnie
plays the blues away
she plays a three quarter strat
like B.B King plays Lucille
She plays the twelve bar blues
like nobody else can
she plays a blues lick so fast and quick
it makes you sick
She's twelve bar Lil
the three quarter strat Queen
you wouldn't believe
she's only three
For my Daughter Lilly, who's now four.
poem by Dave Alan Walker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Shortly afterwards, I did a third one to repair the robotic arm of the station. This arm plays a very important role in the ongoing expansion of the station as well as in the deployment of solar panels.
quote by Philippe Perrin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Turn Around
Jimmy saw the sun chase away the night
It was a quarter past seven
His body warm like the morning light
Had to be in school by eleven
He told himself what they had done to him
That's why Jimmy never felt real sad
If only someone could have lent a hand
Things would have never turned out so bad
Who knows why black flies just live for one day
Who knows why
Hey turn around
It's time to wake up and go back to tell the story
Hey turn around
It's time to wake up and go back to tell the story now
Always sat alone in the back of the class
Because no one would take him
Today he stood in front of the rest
His hands were shaking
Who could have known what Jimmy thought
Never had a chance to speak his words out loud
The flies were burning in his head till
Jimmy let them all out
Who knows why black flies just live for one day
Who knows why
Hey turn around
It's time to wake up and go back to tell the story
Hey turn around
It's time to wake up and go back to tell the story now
It didn't pay to make fun of him
Too late to say
song performed by by Green Lizard from Identity
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Mr. Spaceman
Performed by jimmy buffett, the great gonzo, and rizzo the rat
From kermit unpigged - jim henson records bmg kidz.
(talking)
Rizzo: hey look gonzo, jimmy's buffet!
Gonzo: oh, no no no no/ that's jimmy buffett. he's recording in there.
Come on let's go say hello.
Rizzo: no thanks, i saw a sign down the hall that said meatloaf.
Gonzo: well i'm going to see jimmy...
Gonzo: hello jimmy
Jimmy: gonzo
Gonzo: hey, you don't look so good
Jimmy: i had the most amazing night last night
(singing)
Jimmy: woke up this morning, with light in my eye,
And then realized it was still dark outside.
It was a light coming down from the sky.
I don't know who or why
Gonzo: must be those strangers that come every night,
Whose saucer shaped light, put people uptight.
Leave blue green footprints that glow in the dark.
I hope they get home alright.
(chorus)
Both: hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along.
I won't do anything wrong.
Hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along for the ride.
Jimmy: woke up this morning,
I was feeling quite weird.
Had flies in my ear and my toothpaste was smeared.
Opened my window,
They had written my name.
Both: said so long, we'll see you again.
(chorus)
Both: hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along.
I won't do anything wrong.
Hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along for the ride.
(talking)
Rizzo: hey you two.
Gonzo: what do you want rizzo?
Rizzo: you won't believe this, but there's a space ship outside.
Jimmy: oh yeah, i knew they'd come back for me.
Rizzo: what!
Jimmy: come on boys, let's go
Gonzo: yeah, let's go
Rizzo: no way, i'm not goin up in that thing.
Gonzo: oh rizzo
(singing)
(chorus)
Both: hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along.
I won't do anything wrong.
Hey mr. spaceman,
Won't you please take me along for the ride.
Won't you please take me along for the ride.
(talking)
Jimmy: alright gonzo, you ready to go?
Gonzo: sure
Rizzo: gonzo, you can't leave. you have to be here for the end of the album
Gonzo: ah, yeah
Jimmy: hey, see you later guys. i'm space bound.
Rizzo: have a nice flight
Gonzo: yeah, see you in the tabloids
Gonzo: say rizzo, is there any of that meatloaf left?
Rizzo: nah, the was some big guy in there. i guess he ate it all.
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
God Is In The Radio
I thought I saw him on the video
A trance is keeping him under
I know that God is in the radio
Checkin the station
Im glad I caught it from me to you
Just a call in the medium
I know hear it, I hear it too
Its everywhere that I go
You come back another day
And do no wrong
The say the devil is paranoid
Always signin the cover
But God is leakin through the stereo
Between the station to station
You believe it, I know you do
You wont admit it or say so
I know that God is in the radio
Just repeating a slogan
You come back another day
And do no wrong
song performed by by Queens Of The Stone Age
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It makes it fun. When an actor plays a character, you want what that character wants. Otherwise it doesn't look authentic. So I really want to defeat Jimmy - I mean Jimmy as the character.
I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.
quote by Jane Fonda
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Zoo Station
Im ready
Ready for the laughing gas
Im ready
Ready for whats next
Ready to duck
Ready to dive
Ready to say
Im glad to be alive
Im ready
Im ready for the push
In the cool of the night
The wartmth of the breeze
Ill be crawling around
On my hands and knees
Shes just down the line ... zoo station
Got to make it on time ... zoo station
Im ready
Im ready for the gridlock
Im ready
To take it to the street
Ready for the shuffle
Ready for the deal
Ready to let go
Of the steering wheel
Im ready
Ready for the crush
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright
Its alright...its alright...its alright...its alright
Hey baby...hey baby...hey baby...hey baby
Its alright
Its alright
Time is a train
Makes the future the past
Leaves you standing in the station
Your face pressed up against the glass
Im just down the line from your love...zoo station
Under the sign of your love...zoo station
Im gonna be there...zoo station
Tracing the line...zoo station
Im gonna make it on time...make it on time...zoo station
Just two stops down the line...zoo station
Just a stops down the line...zoo station
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Nobody's ever asked me to pay for a meal before I've eaten it, I've never been pulled over just because I was driving the wrong kind of car in the wrong kind of area at the wrong time of night.
quote by Wentworth Miller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
There is a lot of stuff now that is in bad taste, and I don't see the necessity for it all. We didn't have to do it in our time, and they don't have to do it now.
quote by Clint Walker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Jimmy Gillum
I was raised up on the west side of town
That's where I met Jimmy Gillum
Baddest man around
He'd rather fight than eat
Mister That's no lie
If you cross him up smile and wave goodbye
Bad bad Jimmy baddest man alive
He was dynamite in a small pack
His fuse was short
He didn't cut no slack
Oh that Jimmy Gillum was a bad cat
Chorus:
Talk about trouble
You talk about mean
Jimmy was the baddest cat I've ever seen
You talk about trouble
Should've been his name
Jimmy never pulled a punch
He was a fightin' machine
Yeah he was he was a fightin' machine
Now I recall one night at the Sugar Bowl
That's a honky tonk where Jimmy goes
Yeah the One Percent were burnin' up the stage
In walk Jimmy in a drunken daze
Ready to fight son in the worst way
So I ran for cover behind the stage
Bottles started flyin' I began to pray
Please oh Lord don't let him look my way
Chorus:
It's been years since I saw Jimmy last
When I pulled into a jiffy the other day
Just to get some gas
I heard this guy screamin' next to me
Turn on this pump you dirty s.o.b.
To my surprise it was Jimmy alive and well
Jumped in my car and took off fast
Knew in a minute he'd be kickin' ass
Oh that Jimmy Gillum was a bad cat
Chorus:
Yea he was talk about trouble, talk about trouble
Yeaaaaoooowwww talk about trouble
Yea that boy was bad to the bone talk about trouble
Play it boys sound good
Us Gillums never die we just fade away
Ummmmm trouble boy
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!