I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much.
Related quotes
Alimony
(r. l. jones/w. young/r. higginbotham)
(c) - (f) - (g)
(c) look at this one, look at that one
Tell me do they look like me
All my (f) friends said, dont you worry
Said theyll testify for (c) me
Well, I (g) wonder which of (f) my friends had it in for (c) me
Alimony, alimony, alimony is killing me
I dont (f) want six extra children
When aint but two that look like (c) me
Please, have (g) mercy, judge your (f)honor
Alimony is killing (c) me
Please, have mercy, judge your honor
Im as poor as I can be
Aint had money in my pockets
Since way back in fifty three
Cant you cut down all my payment ?
Alimony is killing me
Alimony, alimony, alimony is killing me
Alimony, alimony, alimony is killing me
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alimony
Alimony alimony I work till my fingers are bloody and boney
Me oh my oh goodness sake I'm paying for my mistake
She calls it alimony alimony yeah you single men may think it's funny
Till one of these days you're gonna wake and find you're payin' for your mistake
Pom pom I walk around ragged like a low-down bum
I can't afford to weigh myself or buy a stick of gum
It's the same old story with a little more blues in it
I'm payin' for it while someone else is usin' it
Alimony alimony I thought I bought steak and it was all baloney
My heart and back are both about to break from payin' for my mistake yeah
[ harmonica ]
Yeah I walk around ragged like a low down bum
I can't afford to weigh myself or buy a stick of gum
Why it's the same old story with a little more blues in it
I'm payin' for it while someone else is usin' it
Alimony alimony thought I bought steak and it was just baloney
And every penny that I make goes to payin' for my mistake
Oh yeah payin' for my mistake every Wednesday
Yeah aw come on baby y'know it's your mistake too yeah
They took all the furniture and everything come on
Why maybe we could sorta pitch in and work it out y'know
I mean I could get a third job if that's what you want I mean
What about sellin' my blood y'know
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
quote by Groucho Marx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them keeps paying for it.
quote by Peggy Joyce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Give This Child What She Needs
Give this child what she needs
Love
Give this child what she needs
Shelter
Give this child what she needs
Prayers
Give this child what she needs
Some food and water
Give this child what she needs
Good parents
Give this child what she needs
Good manors
Give this child what she needs
A smoke free home
Give this child what she needs
Peace and happiness
Give this child what she needs
To know God
Give this child what she needs
Your guidance
Give this child what she needs
Clothes
Give this child what she needs
Your support
Give this child what she needs
Some family time
Give this child what she needs
A nice bath every day
Give this child what she needs
Some discipline
Give this child what she needs
A warm bed to sleep on
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bernadette
I dont wanna leave, bernadette,
But I dont wanna live with the jet set.
I dont wanna leave with you payin all my debts,
With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.
Ooh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
Youve never done a days work in your life,
Youve got no incentive.
Youve made a career out of punting off all of the men youve slept with.
Ooh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
I cant get a job, bernadette,
So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts
If you marry me, bernadette,
Youll lose the alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.
Ooh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
Youve never done a days work in your life,
Youve got no incentive.
Youve made a career out of punting off all of the men youve slept with.
Ooh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
Ooh, bernadette, bernadette.
Ooh, bernadette, bernadette.
[bernadettes got a house in the country,
Shes really got it made.
Her lawyers made her filthy rich,
Shes got all expenses paid.]
Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away,
Then youll eat him all up,
And spit him out,
With a dash of perrier.
And when youve had enough
Youll throw him away,
And take him for all you can get.
Yeah, you like it dont you, bernadette?
I dont want to leave bernadette,
But I wanna keep a little bit of self respect.
I dont want to leave with you paying all my debts,
With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.
Ooh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
Youve never done a days work in your life.
Youve got no incentive.
Women like you oughta be locked up,
For giving others a bad name.
Ohh, bernadette, you are so expensive.
Ooh, bernadette, bernadette.
Ooh, bernadette.
I think youre sad.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hollywood Squares
Ive always said I do too easy
And now Im payin the price
My weakness for beautiful women
Is my most expensive vice
I still believe in matrimony
But I cant afford another try
Child support and alimony
Is just about to bleed me dry
Chorus:
I got exs all across the country
And I owe everybody in town
I got bill collectors a callin me up
And lawyers tryin to track me down
Im just one wrong move from the poor house
But I dont belong in there
I got so many exs and owe so much
I ought to be on hollywood squares
Yeah, I ought to be on hollywood squares
Lookin back over my love life
I only have myself to blame
I guess I shouldve checked my price tag
Before I gave em my last name
Now my credit ratings in the gutter
And the bottom line sure looks bad
Ill be payin the rest of my life
For the few good times Ive had
Chorus
Yeah, they ought to put me on hollywood squares
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Sri Ganesha
Him who begot you as a child you made
Into a beggar; as a child yourself
You then lived everywhere just to support
Your own huge belly; I too am a child.
Oh Child God in that niche! Encountering one
Born after you, is your heart made of stone?
I pray you look at me!
poem by Ramana Maharshi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Ever I Thought You'd Be Lonely
Hold a candle to a naked flame
Ask the atheist his christian name
Try parachuting from a burning plane
Finding someone else you could blame
If i ever thought you'd be lonely
If i ever thought you'd be there
If i ever fought the alimony
Painted pony
You'd be there
Eskimo heart
Bedouin throat
A butcher trussed up in a camel hair coat
A crowning in the castle
A drowning in the moat
Ocean dried,
Desert afloat
If i ever thought you'd be lonely
If i ever thought you'd be there
If i ever fought the alimony
My one and only
You'd be there
One for the lady,
One for the gent
Signatures in wet cement,
And if you ever ask,
What i meant then i'd never know,
Then i'd never know...
song performed by by Abc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you support the war on drugs in its present form, then you're only paying lip-service to the defense of freedom, and you don't really grasp the concept of the sovereign individual human being.
quote by Neal Boortz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Name Is
I come with out the sound of noise, but believe I'm no laughing matter! ! ! I'll make my present known in time. Because I'm no joke! ! ! ! I can live in you human and you can't see me. Who, what, when, where, why and how! ! ! ! I will not entertain that but make no mistake about it I live! ! ! to tell you my NAME and that is stroke! ! ! ! ! !
Support the battle that's in us as a people with the sound of noise to make a difference. Support the stroke foundation.
poem by Clarence Williams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I Ever Thought Youd Be Lonely
Hold a candle to a naked flame
Ask the atheist his christian name
Try parachuting from a burning plane
Finding someone else you could blame
If I ever thought youd be lonely
If I ever thought youd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
Painted pony
Youd be there
Eskimo heart
Bedouin throat
A butcher trussed up in a camel hair coat
A crowning in the castle
A drowning in the moat
Ocean dried,
Desert afloat
If I ever thought youd be lonely
If I ever thought youd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
My one and only
Youd be there
One for the lady,
One for the gent
Signatures in wet cement,
And if you ever ask,
What I meant then Id never know,
Then Id never know...
song performed by by Abc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mothers And Their Daughters
they struck him down hard early in life
he slaps me around plenty
i cannot leave
my daughter never cries
to feed my daughter
i will take on the whole lot of you
the young men howl
i am a mother in time of famine
my daughter dying at my breast
my husband wants a son
my first child a love child a daughter
a wedding to make it right
a family joke to keep me honest
they have a one child policy here
he took my first child my daughter
sold her to the americans
as a child they mutilated me
for fear i might become the woman i am
they will never get to my daughter
I am told to hate my burqa
it keeps my secret from him
my daughter will wear the burqa
poem by Paul Bamberger
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wages Of Sin
When we fight and I wanna talk it out
You wont say nothing, nothing at all
You just sit there, you wont open that pretty mouth
I think you like keeping my back up against the wall
Wages of sin, you keep me paying
Wages of sin for wrongs that Ive done
Wages of sin, you keep me paying
Wages of sin, one by one
I walk in the apartment, theres clothes thrown all over the place
Youre crouched in the corner with makeup running down your face
I dont wanna believe what my heart keeps saying
You keep me on the line so you can keep me paying
Wages of sin, we keep paying
Wages of sin for the wrongs that weve done
Wages of sin, we keep paying
Wages of sin, thats how we have our fun
I remember when I was a little boy out where the cottonwoods grow tall
Trying to make it home through the forest before the darkness falls
Baby all the sounds I heard, even if they werent real
I was running down that broken path with the devil snapping at my heels
I tried so hard, so hard in every way
Swore someday Id grow up, just throw it all away
Cried all the tears, baby, that I could cry
Stomached all my fears till they came rushin up inside
Darlin Im losin and its a mean game
Still I play on and on just the same
Wages of sin, I keep paying
Wages of sin for some wrong that Ive done
Wages of sin, well I keep paying
Wages of sin, one by one
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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911 Is A Joke
Now I dialed nine one one a long time ago
Dont you see how late theyre reactin
They only come, and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue truck em back the goner
They dont care cause they stay paid anyway
They treat you like an ace that cant be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, then youre dead today
Late comings with the late comin stretcher -
Thats a body bag in disguise - yall Ill betcha
I call em body snatchers
Quick they come to fetch you -
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings cos they swing amputation
Lose your arms your legs the famous compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
Get up, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
(chorus)
(ow)
911 is a joke , 911 is a joke
Everyday they dont never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
Hes a witness to the job never bein done
He wouldve been in full effect , 911
Is a joke because their always jokin
They the token to your life when its croakin
They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 -
Is a joke we dont want em
I call a cab cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin at ya while youre crawlin on our knees
And to the strength, so go the length
Thinkin you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
(chorus) (chorus)
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke.
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
Ooooh, yeahh
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Now is not the time to compromise on the economy. Instead, we should be doing everything in our power to support long-term economic growth. Permanent repeal of the death tax will mean more high-quality, high-paying jobs for Americans.
quote by Todd Tiahrt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ida Chicken
After I had attended lectures
At our Chautauqua, and studied French
For twenty years, committing the grammar
Almost by heart,
I thought I'd take a trip to Paris
To give my culture a final polish.
So I went to Peoria for a passport --
(Thomas Rhodes was on the train that morning.)
And there the clerk of the district Court
Made me swear to support and defend
The constitution -- yes, even me --
Who couldn't defend or support it at all!
And what do you think? That very morning
The Federal Judge, in the very next room
To the room where I took the oath,
Decided the constitution
Exempted Rhodes from paying taxes
For the water works of Spoon River!
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nobody Spoke (for Karen)
Nobody spoke to Lucy,
nobody spoke at all,
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
nobody spoke
for five long years
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Lucy withdrew
without a clue
why nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years,
nobody spoke
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke!
Lucy went mad
she went crazy!
She screamed
she cried, she sobbed,
but nobody spoke,
for five long years
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Many years later
she saw them,
those people she wanted
to be her friends.
but ain't no joke
nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years.
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Lucy left a note
in daddy's drawer,
put on her very best dress.
Did her hair in a very fine way
and walked into the hall as a guest.
She walked up to the folk
that never spoke,
said hello in an ordinary way,
then she pulled out a gun
and opened fire.
Yes she shot all those folk
on that day.
Now they were silent
now they were still,
cos ain't no joke
that nobody spoke
and now
they never will.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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