Schizophrenia cannot be understood without understanding despair.
quote by R.D. Laing
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Acute Schizophrenia Paranoia Blues
Im too terrified to walk out of my own front door,
Theyre demonstrating outside I think theyre gonna start the third world war,
Ive been to my local head shrinker,
To help classify my disease,
He said its one of the cases of acute schizophrenia he sees.
Well the milkmans a spy, and the grocer keeps on following me,
And the woman next doors an undercover for the k.g.b.,
And the man from the social security
Keeps on invading my privacy,
Oh there aint no cure for acute schizophrenia disease.
Ive got acute schizophrenia paranoia too,
Schizophrenia, schizophrenia,
Ive got it, youve got it, we cant lose,
Acute schizophrenia blues.
Im lost on the river, the river of no return,
I cant make decisions, I dont know which way Im gonna turn,
Even my old dad, lost some of the best friends he ever had,
Apparently, his was a case of acute schizophrenia too.
I got acute schizophrenia paranoia too,
Schizophrenia, schizophrenia,
Ive got it, youve got it, we cant lose,
Acute schizophrenia blues,
Theyre watching my house and theyre tapping my telephone,
I cant trust nobody, but Im much too scared to be on my own
And the income tax collectors got his beady eye on me,
Oh there aint no cure for acute schizophrenia disease.
No there aint no cure for
Schizophrenia disease.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Despair Is Darkness
DESPAIR IS DARKNESS
Despair is darkness-
Despair is death inside and death in the world and death in one’s own sad soul-
Despair is no way out -
Despair is the place where one is forever stuck -
Despair is the realization that one has done what one could – and one is not going anywhere else-
Despair is the admission of failure-
Despair is no sign of help anywhere around-
Despair is so much lost-
Despair is one‘s life is over-
Despair is regret-
Despair is the sense that one will never have the time to have another chance -
Despair is ‘it’s finished’-
Despair is no way out-
Despair is going down and more down and more dark and more afraid all the time -
Despair is the scream which hurts and does not stop the hurting -
Despair is the understanding that even Death will not save one -
Despair is that the pain will never end-not even with death.
Despair is no way out again and again and again- without end.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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But Don't Despair
Despair, if you must –
But how's it going to pull you through?
Despair, when you trust
Naught since then there's naught to do.
Despair, should you thrust
Aside your pride, your self-esteem.
And so despair, if it's dust,
The only substance that you deem.
Despair, when a gust
Of slightly breeze can break your stance.
And do despair, when lust
Is your interpretation of romance.
But don't despair, if you can care
About the plight of any other being.
And you can focus on the help,
Support, and altruistic further actions
For the seeing. Be believing,
As despair will start receding
All around – simply since you found
A way to steer you clear
From this: the very cause of your despair!
So give to others; give them all a helping lift:
Despair, you'll find will disappear –
And that has got to be a well-deserved
And saintly gift!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009
Rain of despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
despair despair despair despair despair despair despair
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Am Alone (Part One)
I am alone
In a world
Where my friends
Have left me.
I am alone
In a world
Where my best friend
Has left the school.
I am alone
In a world
Where my friends
Have lost understanding.
I am alone
In a world
That I have
No one to turn to.
I am alone
Lost forevermore
In a world
Where darkness hides.
I am alone
In a world
Felled with doubt and despair.
And no understanding.
I am alone
My best friend
Does not come.
I am alone.
I am alone
My best friend
Is lost to me
I am alone.
I am alone
She understood me
More than the rest.
I am alone.
I am alone
We understood each other
We went through the same things.
I am alone.
I am alone
Now that she is gone
The rest cannot see
What she could.
I am alone
Now that she is gone
The rest cannot see
That I am alone.
I am Qalme Tari Mistress of Death Nat Norville.
Cretics Welcome
poem by Athena Goddess of Wisdom Lumis Light to all
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Understanding is only misunderstanding
When you say
“I understand”
You simply confess
That you are only trying
To understand
And you affirm
To guard against
Misunderstanding
Though this may not be true
In a technical discussion
This is always true
When attempts are made
To evaluate issues
Pertaining to minds and emotions
Let us admit
We have not understood
Any one and
Any of the thought processes
Associated with any individual
How many of us
Have understood our parents?
How many of us
Have understood our spouses?
How many of us
Have understood our brothers
And sisters?
How many of us
Have understood our sons
And daughters?
How many of us
Have understood our customers,
Employers and employees
Bosses and sub-ordinates
More you are confident
About these understandings
More likely
You have misunderstood them
Do not ever claim
That you have
Understood others
As you now understand
That
Understanding is only
Misunderstanding
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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I Hate Schizophrenia
I hate schizophrenia-
Spending months in a locked ward,
Pacing up and down low piled carpeted halls
Between therapy groups, and those nothing to do weekends.
Oh, how I hate schizophrenia.
I hate having schizophrenia,
Having to take at least seven medications
To get me through the day, and to take Ativan
To assure me a normal night’s sleep.
I hate having schizophrenia.
I hate this illness I have called schizophrenia.
Taking the Seroquel and Abilfy that make me ravenous so
I feel that I must spend the day vigorously exercising to
Keep my weight at a normal range, and to live on rabbit food.
How I hate this illness called schizophrenia.
I hate my terrible illness, schizophrenia.
If I don’t take multiple medications,
I hallucinate, get paranoid and delusional,
Have sleepless nights after nights, and
I have no motivation.
I have schizophrenia and how angry it makes me feel.
Nurses, so called friends and therapists half my age
Treat me as if I were a child.
I am ill so I cannot be trusted.
I have schizophrenia and how angry it makes me feel.
I hate schizophrenia.
It is an illness that has a stigma attached to it, and
It has a grip on me.
It impairs my functioning and
It mars my relationships.
I hate schizophrenia.
I despise and resent having this terrible illness.
All of my relatives are well adjusted and highly functional.
I was born the black sheep; Why am I this way?
It’s so unfair!
When I think of it tears stream down my face.
I must have removed my glasses a hundred times today to
Wipe the tears away, yet
They keep on flowing.
I despise and resent having this terrible illness.
I don’t like being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Even in the darkness of the night on heavy medications
Voices haunt me.
I just want people to leave me alone.
I want to run away from the world and
Escape to a world of my own.
I don’t like being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
My name is not “schizophrenia”.
It is the name of this illness I was cursed with.
I am so angry now I could scream and hit the walls.
But the staff would come and grab me and throw me in seclusion, if I did.
Yes, that empty room with a hard mattress in a corner on the floor.
I could destroy myself.
I suppose all of us who have schizophrenia feel this way sometimes.
I suppose what upsets me the most is what
People say about me:
“She is schizophrenic.”
I am not “schizophrenic.”
I am a human being, flesh and blood with an illness.
I am a person, NOT an illness.
It is a constant struggle for all of us who have schizophrenia, to
Be a label, not a person.
That is the biggest problem with people in this world.
They label us, who are ill,
They don’t see us as just people.
And people we are, inside and out, not diseases.
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Despair Of The Early Morning
DESPAIR OF THE EARLY MORNING
Despair of the early morning
Despair of the darkness
Despair of the Despair
Despair of Old Age
Despair of the road closed
Despair of nothing to do
Despair of nowhere to go
Despair of endless errands
Despair of money running out
Despair of the message of Despair
One transmits to those one loves.
Despair that has to be resisted
Despair that the light of the day
Will help me overcome
Despair I will pray my way out of
Despair I will in the course of the day
Sometime overcome.
Not the great Despair
The unending Despair
The final Despair.
The small Despair of who I am and where I am now.
The Despair that still can be resisted,
By the writing of a few awkward lines
Early in the morning.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Do Not Want To Be Understood
If there’s a part of me you’ll understand
It’ll be forever chained in your awareness
And I will be a picture framed
Of your hints wishes and needs
I do not want to be understood
For I have never completely been
For it is impossible
To understand
Anybody
‘Completeness’ of understanding
Will impose an end to an infinity
And a part of me
Forever framed will weep for a way out
Of your understanding
For a part of me understood
Will be turned into a mask
Perfectly reflecting your own countenance
And you will stay
Much dialogued
With your own shadow
I’d better be ununderstood
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
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Someone...
Someone, somewhere,
is feeling my despair.
Yet no residue, no trace is found,
of this person, ever understanding.
Words kind, eyes full of love and caring
Nobody knows the despair inside of me!
Oh, but you understand it,
you know my sadness, you've been through it all.
You're always willing to help me,
pick me up when I fall.
Now let me help you,
through all your hard times.
Let me pick you up from your despair,
and give you the happiness we once shared.
I'm not lying to you, you know its true,
that I'll give all I have for you
poem by Laurence Yuen
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Miss Understood
Now that I'm a woman
I'm always dreaming of romance
I'm always dreaming about the perfect man
Who'd take me in his arms and understand, understand me
My name is Miss Understood
I'm just a girl who wants true love like anyone would
I'm Miss Understood
Isn't there a man who understands me?
He picked me up at midnight (Oh)
When all the town was fast asleep
We danced 4 the man in the moon above
Understanding's cheap when U fall in love, fall in love
Just call me Miss Understood
I'm just a girl who wants true love like anyone would
I'm Miss Understood
Isn't there a man who understands me?
I want a lover that can satisfy the hunger of my lonely heart
Gotta have a lover with a PhD in undercover art
Now that I'm a woman
I'm always looking 4 romance (Romance)
I'm always looking 4 the perfect man
Who'd take me in his arms and understand, understand me
Just call me Miss Understood
I'm just a girl who wants true love like anyone would
I'm Miss Understood
Isn't there a man who understands...
Miss Understood
I'm just a girl who wants true love like anyone would
I'm Miss Understood
Isn't there a man who understands...
Miss (Miss, Miss) Understood
I'm just a girl who wants true love like anyone would
I'm Miss Understood
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hands Of A Teacher
Optimism,
Optimism perished from the face of my earth
And then you came along, came along and swept me away,
She kissed me, as we stood on the edge,
The night made the day as we made for the bridge
It started raining hard, and I saw we may live to regret
No I never really understood
No I never really understood why,
Because Ive never been given,
Never been given two tries,
No I never really understood,
Understood why...
Pessimism,
Pessimism perished from the face of my earth,
And then you came along, came along and swept me away,
Did you miss me? did you miss me as we walked
Through the pain, attached the chain so you could
See me again
I started asking myself, did I teach you right?
No I never really understood
No I never really understood why,
Because Ive never been given,
Never been given two tries,
No I never really understood,
Understood why...
Understood why...
You came to me, you broke the bonds,
You set me free
And then the love that you promised me
Came a tumblin tumblin tumblin down
Into my hands...
No I never really understood
No I never really understood why,
Because Ive never been given,
Never been given two tries,
No I never really understood,
Understood why...
So teacher teach me...
song performed by by Live
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Understanding
It seems like only yesterday
I didn't have a clue
I stood alone not knowin where to turn
Now suddenly I look around
And everything looks new
I don't know why, but I think I'm startin' to learn
They call it understanding
A willingness to grow
I'm finally understanding
There's so much I can know
Until the day you came along
I used to just get lost
I only heard the things I wanted to hear
It always seemed like no one cared
But then you took the time
And now I look and everything seems clear
You've got me understanding
You've really helped me see
I'm finally understanding
It's meant so much to me
You've got me understanding
You're really on my side
You've got me understanding
song performed by by Bob Seger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fragments Of Solid Stone
Assumptions understood,
Hampers an understanding one demands.
Clarity misted in foggy speech...
Makes less sense,
When passed from first
To second hand.
How to keep integrity protected,
When it is infected with flaws?
How can statements be respected...
When truth is kept behind shut jaws?
Not a shred of honesty seeps,
When one seeks to appease...
With a purpose to awe!
Assumptions understood,
Hampers an understanding one demands.
Clarity misted in foggy speech...
Makes less sense,
When passed from first
To second hand.
And taking a stand,
To reveal realities be known...
May be tossed about like pieces of plastic,
To convince distractions of the masses,
These are fragments of solid stone!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Neither the life of an individual nor the history of a society can be understood without understanding both.
quote by C. Wright Mills
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was trying to find out what it was that everybody else understood without giving up my stubborn and hard-won lack of understanding.
quote by David Antin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Saint Bernard in the fields at Clairvaux. For Hilary.
That day as the sun set,
its afterglow flooded the world with light
like the meeting of heaven and earth; then
the great bell of the abbey tolled the vesper;
the workers in the fields lowered their scythes
and bowed their heads or knelt on the sharp stubble;
a grasshopper rested on the rough hem of my robe;
nature held its breath and knew eternity
I listened as the echo of the bell
took all my listening, and then
was heard no more; but listening remained;
the silence became full of all things, and
all things were praise and
all things were love and
all things were understanding:
there I heard no other;
there I saw no other;
there I understood no other;
but was infinity itself
love itself is understanding;
understanding is itself all love.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Individual Thus?
It could be that I am Perfection's Love
and all that you need.
It could be that you will brim with satiation
of all my needs;
I could be in error tho,
and therefore cannot be Me
if all of above were true.
But Being Me should not lie down at
Needs Door
and be external to the me
I was born with and the Me I am.
So perhaps I should be the Am which I already Am
and need not Be for you
the All you need,
understanding however that tack
is mere self-contained self-sufficiency
which in the end is isolating and lonely.
Surely self-containment is not the perfection we all should seek.
It must thus
that the individualistic suppositions we all assume
are clearly not true
because I am not truly the individual Am
and never was.
If, therefore, I am indeed a collective Me,
then how can I be the perfect match-
singularly- for thee?
The only way I think this could be
is that I and you
become Multiplicities able to abide,
meet and supply
our mutual multiple needs.
But is this Schizophrenia
both individually and culturally?
There is that word Individual again.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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My Despair Comes And Goes
My Despair comes and goes
It is not the ultimate despair,
The despair of those who have forever lost hope
The despair of those who have lost what they never will regain
The despair of those for whom there is no way out
No way to begin again
No hope in any way forever
My Despair comes and goes
It is a small Despair compared to many others
When I am in it of course
I believe it like theirs Hopeless forever hopeless
But then a new day begins,
Or a friendly voice says a friendly word
Or something good and positive happens
Or the weather changes
Or some hurt goes away
Some sign comes
And slowly slowly
I am not there anymore.
My Despair comes and goes
It is not the worst Despair
Not yet-
Yesterday I was in Despair
Today I am almost already not
I pray my writing this
Will help some despairing reader feel
They too will hope again.
poem by Shalom Freedman
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This Understanding - July/i Am The News
I get this understanding
It's like a living breath
And it grooves with the times
And it swings with the tune
And it flows until the end of rest
I get this understanding
It knocks at every door
And it keeps you awake
With a sweet elevate
And it keeps you running back for more
I get this understanding
On a night like tonight
And i'm driving and driving
And never arriving
But the way i'm singing oh so right
I get this understanding
When a fish when it's fried
And it's you coming home
And i'm being on my own
And we're shaking off the world outside
I get this understanding
It happens every day
When the truth or the blues
Is a ??? through my doors
And i save it for a better day
I get this understanding
When the music swings low
And i'm there on the floor
And i'm waiting for more
And i never never want to go home
song performed by by Ocean Colour Scene
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Moments
Of all the Graces praised
least in the West
but better understood in the East
is that of the ability
to Endure.
Not passivity,
but deep understanding given.
The Western view is that all is chard
and moments are all that matter.
But incidents and moment-pieces
are not lives or even a day given.
But enduring each moment
is better done
from understanding the whole
from which the moment comes.
Moments, the Easterners say
are not aggregated
to be taken together to make a day.
Rather a day is given as a whole
but in the West we pluck moments stray
and munch them according to our appetites.
But the East says each day the sun does not rise to greet a new moment;
the Sun inaugurates a New Day.
So if this moment is now overwhelming
it means you missed the Sun-Rise Last
and will miss the Sun-Rise Next
because you latched onto a stray moment
which is but a chard of the whole day.
So, the wisdom here,
at least I think,
says
Live not for the moment
for but the whole day
there is where salvation,
hope, love, and peace lay.
So if my life-goal is moment placed
there can be no peace
only schizophrenia.
Can I, for example, change my views
moment to moment
becoming a moment to moment changeling;
if I do, I drive myself crazy;
I will only know what I truly believe
if I am willing to endure
each moment to see what the whole day brings.
If life is a marching of days
it's is only clear sometimes
what it all means
or meant
at life's conclusive end.
Humm,
Let's us then not lose heart
and leave the movie
before the end or before the movie
even starts;
lean back
my Dad used to say
enjoy each scene
but don't mistake each scene
for the very very end;
Or for that matter,
each bad moment
as the whole day.
If whole societies adopt the Moment View
then you have America;
whip fast idolotries changing from moment to moment
with each fashion change, the consumer religion
and all crave
living for the moment's thrill.
Contrast that to China say
where people save 20% of what they earn
and don't overspend
planning to endure, not the moment's whim.
America used to be that way.
I can still hear my Grandmother say
a penny saved is a penny earned.
So what happened to us along the way;
this generation?
Humm
I think I will pause for a moment
and in doing so
lose my way.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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