It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
quote by Patton Oswalt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Rays Dads Cadillac
Rays dads cadillac
Rollin past the rink
Past the record shack
Pink fins in the falling rain
Rollin
To the blue lights past the water mains
Rays dads cadillac
Weekends wed get
Rays dads cadillac
Rock n roll in the dashboard
Romance in the back of
Rays dads cadillac
Rays dad teaches math
Zero
Im a dunce
Im a decimal in his class
Last nights kisses wont erase
Zero
I just cant keep the numbers in their place
Rays dads cadillac
Last night we had
Rays dads cadillac
Rock n roll in the dashboard
Romance in the back of
Rays dads cadillac
When it comes to mathematics
I got static in the attic
No sir, nothins clear!
Ill be blackboard blind on monday
Dreamin of blue runways
On the edge of here
A little atmosphere
Blue lights out on airport road
Motown, in a field in a farmers grove
Big planes comin overhead
Lowdown
You can see the bolts
You can see the tire treads
Rays dads cadillac
Weekends wed get
Rays dads cadillac
Oh, little darlin
Rock n roll in the dashboard
Romance in the back of
Rays dads cadillac
Rays dads cadillac
Rays dads cadillac
Rays dads cadillac
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Brady Bunch
You can watch mr. rogers
You can watch threes company
And you can turn on fame or the nelywed game
Or the addams family
I say, you can watch barney miller
And you can watch your mtv
And you can watch till your eyes fall out of your head
Thatll be ok with me
And you can watch (tv)
You can watch johnny carson
You can watch phil donahue
And you can use tv guide to help you decide
With capsulized review
Say, you can watch 60 minutes
Even captain kangaroo
But theres only one set, so what ever you watch
Well, you know I gotta watch it too
Say, give it up, give it up, televisions taking its toll
Thats enought, thats enough, gimme the remote controll
I been nice, I been good, please dont do this to me
Turn it off, turn it off, I dont want to have to see
The brady bunch
Not the brady bunch
Well, the brady bunch
Yeah, the brady bunch
Its the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother
The youngest one in curls
Its a story of a man named brady
Who was busy with three boys of his own
They were four men living all together
Yeah, but they were all alone
Until the one day, one day when the lady met the fellow
And they knew, and they knew it was much more than a hunch
Then they knew this group must somehow form a family
Thats the way, thats the way, thats the way they all became
The brady bunch
Well, the brady bunch
Yeah, the brady bunch
Well, the brady bunch
Oh, its the brady bunch
Its the brady bunch
Oh, the brady bunch, yeah
Oh, the brady bunch
Its the brady bunch
Well, its the brady bunch
Well, its the brady bunch
Well, its the brady bunch
Its the brady bunch
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I had to accept that I was an alcoholic, that was the main thing. I think you've got to. But I try not say that I'm an alcoholic. I prefer to say that it's a disease I've got.
quote by Paul Gascoigne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0007 African Child
What's that dirty mark on the carpet in front of the TV, Mom?
That's just a shadow from tne screen, dear.
I feel sick, Mom, I must've eaten something nasty?
I expect it's that film, dear..shall we turn it off?
Is that a boy or girl baby crying, Mom?
Didn't notice dear, why, does it matter?
What's that group of men just off-screen, Dad?
They're just interested in the film.
Then why aren't they with the Moms, helping?
They may not be the fathers, dear.
(She's too young yet, to know about child-rape, honey,
though I guess we'll have to tell her sometime...)
Then where are their real Dads?
I expect they're dead, dear.
Dad you won't die will you, promise?
I hope not, darling, I'll try not to...
Why are they so hungry, Dad, when the TV can go there?
Their country's in a mess, dear.
But they always used to have enough to eat,
otherwise they wouldn't have dads and moms themselves?
It's a long and sad story, darling, I'm not sure
that I can explain it to you. I wish I knew the answer.
Will those flies on the babies' eyes come off the screen, come here?
No darling, it's Africa.
Don't they hurt? Why don't their Dads brush them off
instead of just standing there?
I expect they're used to them in Africa, dear..
shall we turn the TV off?
No I want to watch, I want to help them.
That's very good of you, darling, maybe
when you're grown up? It may be better then.
What will make it better, Dad?
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pop Juice
You went there until you crash here
Then woken up to wonder where the night went
Keep breathing it'll come back again
Tonight will be different
We will all be saved
My name's Jimmy, I'm an alcoholic
And I have been for 33 years or more
So kill me, I will die without it
It's like this wherever I go
So we crashed down in BB's
Keep quiet because the question is elaborate
You need a lawyer, a doctor, a drink
To keep surviving
Keep me firing
My name's Jimmy, I'm an alcoholic
And I have been for 33 years or more
So kill me, I will die without it
It's like this wherever I go
I don't feel like going out
I don't feel like going out
Feel like going out
I don't feel like going out
I don't feel like going out
Feel like going out
Feel like going out
My name's Jimmy, I'm an alcoholic
And I have been for 33 years or more
So kill me, I will die without it
It's like this wherever I go
My name's Jimmy, I'm an alcoholic
And I have been for 33 years or more
So kill me, I will die without it
It's like this wherever I go
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
Do you feel like going out?
song performed by by Gomez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tough Little Boys
I never once, backed down from a punch.
I'd take it square on the chin.
Well I found out fast a bullys just that and you got to stand up to him.
So I didn't cry when I got a black eye as bad as it hurt I just grinned.
But when tough little boys grow up to be Dads
They turn into big babies again.
Scared me to death when took your first steps,
Well I'd fall everytime you fell down.
Your first day of school,
I cried like a fool, I followed your school bus to town.
Well I didn't cry when ol Yeller died
at least not in front of my friends.
But when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again.
Well I'm a grown man and as strong as I am.
Well sometimes it's hard to believe,
One little girl with little blonde curls can totally terrify me.
If you were to ask my wife would just laugh ,
she'd say I know all about men,
how tough little boys grow up to be Dads
they turn into big babies again.
Well I know one day I'll give you away
and I'm goin to stand there and smile.
When I get home and I'm all alone,
I'll sit in your room for awhile.
Cause when tough little boys grow up to be
Dads they turn into big babies again
song performed by by Gary Allan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tough Llittle Boys
TOUGH LITTLE BOYS
I NEVER ONCE BACKED DOWN FROM A PUNCH
WELL ID TAKE IT SQUARE ON THE CHIN
I FOUND OUT FAST THAT BULLIES JUST LAUGH
I HAVE TO STAND UP TO HIM
I DIDNT CRY WHEN I GOT A BLACK EYE
AS BAD AS IT HURT I JUST GRINNED
WHEN TOUGH LITTLE BOYS GROW UP TO BE DADS
THEY TURN INTO BIG BABIES AGAIN
SCARED ME TO DEATH WHEN YOU TOOK YOUR FIRST STEPS
ID FALL EVERYTIME YOU FELL DOWN
YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL I CRIED LIKE A FOOL
I FOLLOWED YOUR SCHOOL BUS TO TOWN
I DIDNT CRY WHEN OLD YELLER DIED AT
LEAST NOT IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS
WHEN TOUGH LITTLE BOYS GROW UP TO BE DADS
THEY TURN INTO BIG BABIES AGAIN
IM A GROWN MAN BUT AS STRONG AS I AM
WELL SOMETIMES ITS HARD TO BELIEVE
HOW ONE LITTLE GIRL WITH LITTLE BLONDE CURLS
COULD TOTALLY TERRIFY ME
IF YOU WERE TO ASK MY WIFE WOULD JUST LAUGH
SHED SAY ID KNOW ALL ABOUT MEN
WHEN TOUGH LITTLE BOYS GROW UP TO BE DADS
THEY TURN INTO BIG BABIES AGAIN
WELL I KNOW ONE DAY I WILL GIVE YOU AWAY
IM GONNA STAND THERE AND SMILE
BUT WHEN I GET HOME AND IM ALL ALONE
WELL I SIT IN YOUR ROOM FOR A WHILE
WELL I DIDNT CRY WHEN OLD YELLER DIED
WELL AT LEAST NOT IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS
WHEN TOUGH LITTLE BOYS GROW UP TO BE DADS
THEY TURN INTO BIG BABIES AGAIN
WHEN TOUGH LITTLE BOYS GROW UP TO BE DADS
THEY TURN INTO BIG BABIES AGAIN
song performed by by Gary Allan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Can't Help Myself
Oh sugar pie, honey bunch
You know that i love you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else
In and out my life
You come and you go
Leaving just your picture behind
And i've kissed it a thousand times
When you snap your fingers or wink your eye
I come a running to you
Tied to you like a ball-and-chain
And there's nothing that i can do
Can't help myself
No, i can't help myself
Sugar pie, honey bunch
I'm weaker than a girl should be
I can't help myself
I'm a fool in love you see
I wanna tell you i don't love you
Tell you that we're through
And i've tried
But every time i see your face
I get all choked up inside
When i call your name
Boy it starts the flame
Burning in my heart
Tearin' it all apart
No matter how i try
My love i cannot hide
Sugar pie, honey bunch
You now that i'm weak for you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else
Ooh sugar pie honey bunch
I'll do anything you ask me to
I can't help myself
I want you and nobody else
Sugar pie, honey bunch
You know that i love you
I can't help myself
No no no, i can't help myself
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Linda Smith
'I play all my country and western music
backwards -
your lover
returns,
your dog
comes back to life
and you cease to be
an alcoholic'
(Linda Smith, comedienne and humanist, died yesterday.)
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nor do we begin to have a clear appreciation of what the increase in consumption of alcoholic beverages in wartime means in increased risk, and in loss of efficiency to the fighting and working forces of the country.
quote by William Lyon Mackenzie King
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Messina had gardens Palermo would be a bunch of poor country houses.
Whose Country Is This?
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of snakes;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of many waters;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of thieves! !
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of people;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of oil;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of earthquakes!
Whose country is this?
it is a land full of lovers;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of volcanoes!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of beautiful flowers;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of hansome men;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of beautiful women;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of roses;
Whose country is this?
it is a land ruled only by men;
Whose country is this?
It is a land without rainfall;
Whose country is this?
It is a land ruled by a woman;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of corruption!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of pirates! !
Whose country is this?
It is a land ruled by law;
Whose country is this?
It is a land controlled by rebels!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of ice;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of pregnant women;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of singers;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of troubles;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of war! !
Whose country is this?
It is a land with the biggest cemetery in the wolrd!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of desert;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of trees;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of pregnant teenagers!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of timber;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of hatred;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of love;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of care;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of peace;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of smokers!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of businesses;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of harlots;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of wise people;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of idiots!
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of gold;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of cocoa;
Whose country is this?
It is a alnd full of crabs;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of evil;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of rainfalls;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of ants;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of horses;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of pigs;
Whose country is this?
It is a land full of statues;
Whose country is this?
it is a land full of birds;
And so on, and so forth!
Because nature had made them so as we see them around us,
But the wise and fool live together on this earth.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.
quote by Jimmy Kimmel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Up In Smoke
They took away my garden
To make room for a chemical plant
I feel my countrys arteries harden
With the aid of a government grant
We are not a bunch of upstarts
Just out looking for a cause
Cause we hunger for our justice
And not applause
We dont just make peace signs and meditate
We dont take this thing as a joke
We just want to relate were in a pretty bad state
And we dont want to go up in smoke
My water has got cancer
And the rivers have all dried
While I watch my country practice
Nuclear suicide
We are not a bunch of upstarts
(we are not a bunch of upstarts)
Just out looking for a cause
(for a cause)
We hunger for our justice
And not applause
(not applause)
We dont just make peace signs and meditate
We dont take this thing as a joke
We just want to relate were in a pretty bad state
And we dont want to go up in smoke
Dont think its impossible
To see this thing come clean
Were going to save this poor old worlds head
From the guillotine
We are not a bunch of upstarts
(we are not a bunch of upstarts)
Just out looking for a cause
(for a cause)
We hunger for our justice
And not applause
(not applause)
We dont just make peace signs and meditate
We dont take this thing as a joke
We just want to relate were in a pretty bad state
And we dont want to go up in smoke
They took away my garden
(my water has got cancer)
To make room for a chemical plant
(and the rivers have all dried)
I feel my countrys arteries harden
(while I watch my country practice)
Nuclear suicide
(nuclear suicide)
Nuclear suicide
We are not a bunch of upstarts
Just out looking for a cause
We hunger for our justice
And not applause
(not applause)
We dont just make peace signs and meditate
We dont take this thing as a joke
We just want to relate were in a pretty bad state
And we dont want to go up in smoke
Dont want to see our children
(dont want to see our children)
Oh go up in smoke
Oh we dont want to see our children
Yeah
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Once on a day
Once on a hot July day
in a land far away
a bunch of skinny kids
came ashore
to do battle
with another bunch
of kids
poem by Michael Pruchnicki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I've been on stage since I was 7. That's where I'd rather be than anywhere else. Just because you can do a bunch of things doesn't mean you are a bunch of things. I can act. I can sing. But I am a dancer.
quote by Bebe Neuwirth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Done And Over
You never knew what you meant to me.
But you found out.
But you found out.
I really loved you,
But you didn't believe me.
Now you found out.
To leave no doubt.
But I've moved on and you should too!
Whatever has been done let's call us through.
To be done and over,
Like an alcoholic sobered.
You never knew what you meant to me.
But you found out.
But you found out.
I really loved you,
But you didn't believe me.
Now you found out.
To leave no doubt.
But I've moved on and you should too!
Whatever has been done,
Let's call us through.
To be done and over,
Like an alcoholic sobered.
Done and over.
Done and over.
I really loved you,
But we're done and over.
There's no need for us to suffer,
'Cause we're done and over.
Done and over.
Done and over...
Like an alcoholic sobered.
I've moved on and you should too!
Whatever has been done,
Let's call us through.
To be done and over,
Like an alcoholic sobered.
Done and over.
Done and over.
You never knew what you meant to me.
But you found out.
But you found out.
I really loved you,
But you didn't believe me.
Now you found out.
To leave no doubt.
But now we're done and over,
Like an alcoholic sobered.
Done and over to leave.
To leave.
To leave.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Its Alright To Be A Redneck
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to ride around in a dirty old truck
Catch a bunch of fish and shoot a bunch of duck
Its alright to be a redneck
Chase around the girls on friday night
You wanna make em feel alright
Its alright, its alright,
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to work hard in the sun all day
Drink a couple beers after bailin hay
Its good to be a redneck
Drive by ernies for some bbq
Showin off your brand new boots
Its alright, its alright,
Its alright to be a redneck
The kids are gonna cry
And the chickens gonna fry you know it
The car wont run
So your cousins comin by to tow it
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to have a girl named thelma-lou
Who dont mind a little kiss when ya got a little chew
Party on the road by the light of the moon
Dancin to a country tune
Its alright, its alright
Its alright to be a redneck
(repeat)
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tweety Birds
Two tweety birds,
Hangout on a branch.
Two tweety birds,
Waiting for their lunch.
Their time is spent
Tweeting, preening in a bunch.
A ritual, a noise event.
Birds gather not in a 'bunch',
They stay together in a 'flock'.
I wrote 'bunch'
to rhyme with lunch.
So there, you have it in a block!
Birds of a feather flock together,
Sing melodious tunes
Birds of a feather in any weather,
Tweet in timely tunes.
Alcoholic Blues
You're an alcoholic but not a smoker -
What else is there to say?
Your poetry is mediocre -
It's been another lousy day.
You used to think
If you had a drink
Your blues would go away -
But now you know that isn't true
So you haven't had a drink today.
Well done, old boy!
But there's no joy,
So what are you going to do?
You're dead inside, and lonely too
And bored and in despair.
Your fellow alcoholics care -
They say, 'If you choose
To turn again to booze
You've a hell of a lot to lose! '
You'd lose your peace of mind, I guess.
The answer's 'Yes,
But wouldn't it be nice
To ignore this sound advice,
To relax, chill out, and have a little happiness?
Or at least to write a decent verse,
Something pungent, moving, terse,
Transcending this alcoholic's curse! ! ! '
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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