Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
quote by Carey Williams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Farmer's Daughter
I do come from miles away,
Ain't got no place to stay.
Glad to help you plow your fields,
Farmer's daughter.
Might be just a couple of days,
Clean up, rest, and be on my way.
Thank you, madam, much obliged,
Farmer's daughter.
So long, got to leave your land.
Many thanks, it was might grand.
I do hope to see you again,
Farmer's Daughter.
Farmer's Daughter.
song performed by by Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Just a Bit
A big hound dog laid on the lawn.
Nearby, an old geezer did sit.
A traveling salesman came on
The scene, and paused there for a bit.
'Does your dog bite? ' the salesman asked.
'Nope.' the old geezer replied back
Then the dog's face got snarling masked.
That salesman came under attack,
Bitten about the arms and head
By the dog, as it fiercely growled.
'Call the dog off. I thought you said'
'It doesn't bite.' the salesman howled.
'My dog don't bite.' smiled the old guy,
''Cause that there dog ain't mine, that's why.'
Travelin' Man
The man i loved ran a salesman route
Selling goods from house to house
Now i knew my mama would never stand
For me stepping out with no traveling man
Mama bought things that he was a'selling
But mama didn't know and i sure wasn't telling
That behind her back i was making plans
To meet somewhere with that traveling man
Oh the traveling man was a good bit older
But a girl needs arms to hold her
Mama didn't know 'cause i didn't told her
But mama wouldn't understand
Me stepping out with a traveling man
Mama didn't allow me a'going courting
And i'd tell lies that i reckon i oughtn't
Oh but she'd a'give me the back a' her hand
If she'd a'seen me with that traveling man
So i tell my mama that i reckon i oughta
Go to the spring and fetch us some water
What mama didn't know is i had a plan
To meet down there with that traveling man
Now i make plans to run away
With that traveling man on a saturday
Well saturday's here and here i stand
And there goes my mama with that traveling man
Oh that traveling man was a two-time lover
He took my love then he took my mother
But i didn't know 'cause mama didn't told me and i don't understand
My mama running off with my traveling man
Mama, you know you oughtn't a'done that
You just like my daddy
He run off before i ever knowed him
You done run-off with my traveling man
And i really don't think i ever knowed you either
Oh there goes my mama with my traveling man
And i'm really gonna miss that traveling man
Mm-hm
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Traveling Man
The man I loved ran a salesman route
Selling goods from house to house
Now I knew my mama would never stand
For me stepping out with no traveling man
Mama bought things that he was aselling
But mama didnt know and I sure wasnt telling
That behind her back I was making plans
To meet somewhere with that traveling man
Oh the traveling man was a good bit older
But a girl needs arms to hold her
Mama didnt know cause I didnt told her
But mama wouldnt understand
Me stepping out with a traveling man
Mama didnt allow me agoing courting
And Id tell lies that I reckon I oughtnt
Oh but shed agive me the back a her hand
If shed aseen me with that traveling man
So I tell my mama that I reckon I oughta
Go to the spring and fetch us some water
What mama didnt know is I had a plan
To meet down there with that traveling man
Now I make plans to run away
With that traveling man on a saturday
Well saturdays here and here I stand
And there goes my mama with that traveling man
Oh that traveling man was a two-time lover
He took my love then he took my mother
But I didnt know cause mama didnt told me and I dont understand
My mama running off with my traveling man
Mama, you know you oughtnt adone that
You just like my daddy
He run off before I ever knowed him
You done run-off with my traveling man
And I really dont think I ever knowed you either
Oh there goes my mama with my traveling man
And Im really gonna miss that traveling man
Mm-hm
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Home invasion in Springs
Masked like the black criminals
that robs you of your car
and just there and there promises you death,
they arrived
with a mini bus taxi on the farm,
drove right through the farm gate
and at the front door
jumped out of the kombi
with five steps intruded into the house
to bring death to the farmer,
to rape the wife
and daughter.
The farmer heard the crash
at the gate,
he realized that it was big trouble
heard them in their own language command
to kill, while shot upon shot
was ringing from the front porch
and he though about the obliteration
of his whole family.
His wife was too far away
in the lounge busy with sewing
and he heard his daughter rushing screaming
to her mother
turned about hurried to the gun safe
and got hold of a pump action shotgun
with LG cartridges
and rushed down the hallway.
In the lounge four black criminals
aimed pistols at his daughter and wife
told them to strip themselves bare
and when they did not want to
one said to the others in his language
to kill them
while the farmer was sneaking
closer at the back of the lounge suite.
Just one glance from the farmer
made his wife and daughter fall to the ground
two shots came from the shotgun
lifting two of the gangsters right from their feet
and the other two started shooting
into the ceiling
and the wall of the lounge
and when the farmer fired again
they fled in fear to the outside
turning around to fire at the farmer
and another one dropped in his tracks,
the other ran wounded into the cornfield.
At the start the police, wanted to arrest
the farmer for the murder of the robbers,
but there was more than enough evidence
that it was self-defence,
even the farm workers
were witnesses
about the shooting, threat
of the robbers
and by his actions
the farmer saved himself, his wife and daughter
and the labourers praised him
as a kind and a just man
but at the church
some members regarded the farmer
as a mass killer
who had determined the fate of others with a shotgun.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Salesman
Salesman, where you gonna go?
To sell all your of your goods today
Salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Well salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman, got a little dog whose tail wags when you talk
You always wear a smile, even though youve gotta walk ten miles
Short lifespan, goodtime salesman
Yep, yep salesman got it on the street, whether its hot or cold
Its salesman, well, you work real hard,
Until every part is sold
Salesman as the years go by,
People changing every day
Hey, salesman til the end of time youll be livin in the same way
You always wear a smile, you love em fast and you live wild
Short life span, but aint life grand?
Copper kettles, different kinds of tin
There goes salesman and hes sailing high again
Hes sailing so high, high, sailing so high...
Salesman where you gonna go to sell all of your goods today
Yup, salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Hey, salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman with your secret goods that you push while you talk
You always wear a smile,
Even though youve gotta walk a hundred ten miles
Short life span - but the whole things grand
Salesman...
Now, well, I tried the one that you put it in and you have to do it
Manually. but Id like the one that you just plug it in and it does it all
By itself in a real long strand and you cut em up. its easier to do it
That way because, well, I put all the stuff in there and it keeps flippin
Out. and I cant get the thing to stick together anything. coupled with
The fact that I have to stick two of them together to even get on out of it
And they always end up lookin like lucky strikes.
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Travelling down memory lane
Traveling down memory lane
is not all black 'n white.
Traveling down memory lane
is not all lacking light.
Traveling down memory lane
is not eye filled with tears.
Traveling down memory lane
brings fresh and soothing air.
Traveling down memory lane
is love & pain, fun with friends.
Traveling down memory lane
is full of curves and bends.
Traveling down memory lane
is a test of time and mind
Traveling down memory lane
is a joy of it's kind.
poem by Ralph Acosta
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Taxes On The Farmer Feeds Us All
(traditional, adapted by ry cooder)
(d) - (a) - (e)
(a) we worked through spring and winter, through (d) summer and through (a) fall
But the mortgage worked the hardest and the (e) steadiest of us all
It (a) worked on nights and sundays, it (d) worked each holiday
(e) settled down among us and it never went (a) away
The farmer comes to town with his wagon broken down
The farmer is the man who feeds us all
If you only look and see I know you will agree
That the farmer is the man who feeds us all
(a) the farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
He buys on his credit until (e) fall
Then they (a) take him by the hand
And they (d) lead him from his land
And the (e) merchant is the man who gets it (a) all
The farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
He lives on his credit until fall
With the interest rates so high
Its a wonder he dont die
But the taxes on the farmer feeds us all
Well, the banker says hes broke and the merchant stops and smoke
But they forget that its the farmer that feeds them all
It would put them to the test if the farmer took a rest
And theyd know that its the farmer that feeds them all
The farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
Lives on his credit until fall
Well, his pants are wearing thin
His condition, its a sin
cause the taxes on the farmer feeds us all
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Farmer John
By don harris/terry dewey.
Farmer john, Im in love with your daughter
Yeah the one, with the champagne eyes
I love the way she walks, I love the way she talks
I love the way she wiggles, she wiggles she walks
Farmer john, Im in love with your daughter
Yeah the one, with the champagne eyes
Farmer john, Im in love with your daughter
Yeah the one, with the champagne eyes
I love the way she walks, I love the way she talks
I love the way she moves, she moves, she moves me
Farmer john, Im in love with your daughter
Yeah the one, with the champagne eyes
Farmer john, Im in love with your daughter
Yeah the one, with the champagne eyes
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Po Boy
Words and music by bob dylan
Man came to the door, I say for whom were you lookin?
Says your wife, I say shes busy in the kitchen cookin
Po boy, where you been?
Already told you, wont tell you again
I say how much you want for that, Ill go into the store
Man says three dollars all right, I say, will you take four?
Po boy, never say die
Things will be all right, by and by
Workin like in a main line, workin like the devil
The game is the same its just upon another level
Po boy, dressed in black
Police at your back
Po boy in a red hot town
Out beyond the twinklin stars
Ridin first class train
Makin the rounds
Try to keep from fallin between the cars
Othello told desdemona Im cold, cover me with a blanket
By the way, what happened to that poisoned wine?
She said I gave it to you, you drank it
Po boy, layin em straight
Pickin up the cherries fallin off the plate
Time and love has branded me with its claws
Had to go to florida, dodgin them georgia laws
Po boy in the hotel called the palace of gloom
Called down to room service, says send up a room
My mother was the daughter of a wealthy farmer
My father was a traveling salesman, I never met him
When my mother died my uncle took me in to run a funeral parlor
He did a lot of nice things for me and I wont forget him
All I know is that Im thrilled by your kiss
I dont know any more than this
Po boy, pickin up sticks
Build you a house out of mortar and bricks
Knockin on the door, I say who is it, where you from?
Man say freddie, I say freddie who?
He say freddie or not, here I come
Po boy neath the stars that shine
Washin them dishes, feedin them swine
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Faults
I have so many faults, I know it’s true
I’m trying to correct them, but it’s hard to do.
My faults have become goals that I must achieve
By doing this, they won’t be seen
I’ll turn off the television and at my computer I’ll sit
My wife sees me and she catches a fit
She says that if I could I’d be on the computer 24/7
And that’s not the way that I’ll get to heaven
She says it’s an obsession, and I say it’s a passion
And my daughter tells me it’s not in fashion
My daughter tells me “ dad- you’re up in your years”
And the loss of the other eye, I do fear.
My grandson calls me “ one eyed jack”
And against me the cards are stacked
Mom and granny are ganging up on you
And there is nothing that I can do
They’ll tell me to keep quiet or go to another room
So my fight ends real soon
For a seven year old, he has wisdom beyond his years
And both women against me he does have fears
My daughter is getting me a laptop with more memory
Which I think will make it easier for me
I could hide in the bathroom and continue to write
And I’ll be out of her sight
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You know, times change and the elements change along with it. The elements of success. And my son's very successful. He's doing very well. And I have a younger daughter who sings.
quote by Billy Eckstine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The real wit tells jokes to make others feel superior, while the half-wit tells them to make others feel small.
quote by Elmer Wheeler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
This Evening The Farmer Is happy
The corellas on the tall gums are calling as darkness is cloaking the sky
The evening is calm though 'tis raining and we need rain the ground is so dry
This evening the farmer is happy his water tanks filling in the rain
Nice to hear the spluttering of rain water down the guttering to the storm water drain
Yes the farmer with the rain is happy with the warmer days of Summer ahead
The long spells of droughts and of bushfires of such things he does live in dread
In these times of climate change and global warming we do get some weather extremes
For our polluting of our natural environment our price to pay it will be huge it seems
With farm dams and smaller waterways drying out less water birds for to be seen
The countryside dry and brown looking as brown as it ever has been
The rain has never been more welcome the happy farmer has cause to smile
In the Winter and Spring little rainfall we have not seen heavy rain for some-while
The sound of the rain on the galvanize roofs is a pleasant sound for to hear
And the farmer he is looking happier at the end for him of a hard year.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
quote by Robert Goulet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Trust
Nowadays
You can’t
Trust -
Anybody.
You trust
Your mother,
She tells your
Father.
You trust your
Wife, she tells her
Friends.
You trust your
Hubby, he tells
His mates.
You trust your son,
He twitters it all….
You trust your
Daughter, she
Posts it on FB’s
Wall ;)
You trust yourself? ?
You tell the whole
World ;)
How? ?
Through blogs and
Poems :)
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Not Feeling Like It
how many times
shall you change a word
simply because
you do not feel liking it?
how many times
shall this world of ours be destroyed?
how many times
shall this war be waged shall lives be wasted
in the name of change?
this feeling of
' i want change i want something new'
how many times shall we cut
edges and then feel the pain of
desolation?
now, i must leave a space
at the start of the lines. I protest
one blank line
between the sections.
no link. no connection. how many times
shall you do this to us?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Traveling
Shigoto ni mo sei ga deru
Kinyou no gogo
TAKUSHII mo sugu tsukamaru (tobinoru)
Mezasu wa kimi
"Dochira made ikaremasu?"
Chotto soko made
"Fukeiki de komarimasu (shimemasu)
DOA ni chui"
Kaze ni matagi tsuki e nobori
Boku no seki wa kimi no tonari
Fui ni ware ni kaeri KURARI
Haru no yoru no yume no kotoshi
Traveling kimi wo
Traveling nosete
ASUFARUTO wo terasu yo
Traveling doko e
Traveling iku no?
Tooku nara doko e demo
Traveling motto
Traveling yurase
Kowashitaku naru shoudou
Traveling motto
Traveling tobase
Isogu koto wa nai kedo
Kikasetai uta ga aru
ENDORESU RIPIITO
Kimochi ni hakusha kakaru
Neraidoori
Nami to hashagi kumo wo sasoi
Tsui ni boku wa kimi ni deai
Wakasa yue ni sugu ni CHIRARI
Kaze no mae no chiri ni onaji
Traveling mune wo
Traveling yosete
Itsumo yori medatchaou
Traveling koko wa
Traveling iya yo
Mokutekichii wa mada da yo
Traveling mado wo
Traveling sagete
Nani mo kowakunai MOODO
Traveling koko de
Traveling ii yo
Subete wa kibun shidai
Minna odoridasu jikan da
Machikirezu kon'ya
Kakureteta negai ga uzukimasu
Minna moriagaru jikan da
Doushite darou ka
Sukoshi dake fuan ga nokorimasu
Traveling kimi wo
Traveling nosete
ASUFARUTO wo terasu yo
Traveling doko e
Traveling iru no?
Kore kara ga ii tokoro
Traveling motto
Traveling yurase
Kowashitaku naru shoudou
Traveling motto
Traveling tobase
Tomaru no ga kowai chotto
Traveling...
song performed by by Utada Hikaru
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Someday
Someday I will be remembered as a person of greatness
Someday I will be remembered as a person of wonders
Someday I will be remembered as the girl that was what everyone wanted
But something deep inside tells me that day won't come
Who's voice could that be?
Someone who doesn't like me?
Yes, I know who.
You.
Someday I will be remembered as the person whom you loved dearly
Someday I will be remembered as the daughter you loved dearly
Someday I will be remembered as the daughter you've always wanted
But something deep inside tells me that day won't come
Who's voice could that be?
Someone who doesn't like me?
Yes, I know who.
You.
These Someday's I tell myself to get through the tough times
But I know that they won't come.
Someday you will accept me as yours.
Someday you will.Someday.
But something deep inside tells me that day won't come
Who's voice could that be?
Someone who doesn't like me?
Yes, I know who.
You.
poem by Kamilla Davila
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!