An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.
quote by A.J. Liebling
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Englishman
He is an Englishman!
For he himself has said it,
And it's greatly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!
For he might have been a Roosian,
A French, or Turk, or Proosian,
Or perhaps Itali-an!
But in spite of all temptations,
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!
Hurrah!
For the true-born Englishman!
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What then is the American, this new man? He is either an European, or the descendant of an European, hence that strange misture of blood, which you will find in no other country. I could point out to you a family whose grandfather was an Englishman, whose wife was Dutch, whose son married a French woman, and whose present four sons have now four wives of different nations. He is an American.
Michel-Guillaume Jean de Crevecoeur in Letters from an American Farmer III: What is an American?
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Englishman In New York
Englishman in New York
I don't take coffee I take tea my dear
I like my toast done on one side
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I'm an Englishman in New York
See me walking down Fifth Avenue
A walking cane here at my side
I take it everywhere I walk
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun
Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run
If, "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Teaching
Those,
who
have
traveled
far in
life.
Need
to
teach
the
young.
As
they
struggle
on
their
pathway.
Clasping
their
tiny
hands.
Gladly
leading
sa ying.
Come
child,
may I
help
you.
Teaching
with
great
inspiration.
Leading
with
humility.
Settinggood
examples.
poem by Heather Burns
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Overweight with Food
Are you just a tub of lard and
Vastly overweight?
Do you think that when you die you'll
Need a piano crate
To act as coffin for your frame? -
Chosen as you die in shame, with
Only you to take the blame
For years of eating much the same:
A daily calorific fest
Gourmands of your ilk digest!
Is your heart in final fling and
Nearly set to burst?
Are your arteries bunged and clogged and
Feeling now the worst
For wear? - your aneurysm fit to blow
While blood as thick as rising dough
Cries 'Halt! ' to any hope of flow:
A dreadful state to put on show
In front of any nurse!
Best you hail a hearse.
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Englishman In New York
I dont take coffee I take tea my dear
I like my toast done on one side
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
Im an englishman in new york
See me walking down fifth avenue
A walking cane here at my side
I take it everywhere I walk
Im an englishman in new york
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
If, manners maketh man as someone said
Then hes the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candles brighter than the sun
Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run
If, manners maketh man as someone said
Then hes the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
Im an alien Im a legal alien
Im an englishman in new york
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Syrup Sponge
Pour a pint of cream
Upon my spongy bulge!
Scoop me with a
Hefty spoon;
Taste my essence -
Do you swoon?
Feed your self-esteem; indulge
In me until you burst -
Death by syrup sponge - you're cursed!
And as the count in inches gain
Upon your weary waist, the strain
Will tell, but you'll not care -
Steeped in sponge, you're unaware!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food
food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Epilogue (Nothing 'Bout Me)
I don't drink coffee, I take tea my dear.
I like my toast done on one side,
and you can hear it in my accent when I talk.
I'm an Englishman in New York.
You see me walking down Fifth Avenue,
a walking cane here at my side;
I take it ev'rywhere I walk.
I'm an Englishman in New York.
Whoa
I'm an alien,
I'm a legal alien;
I'm an Englishman in New York.
Whoa
I'm an alien,
I'm a legal alien;
I'm an Englishman in New York.
If
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
quote by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I were an American, as I am an Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country, I never would lay down my arms never never never!
quote by William Pitt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.
quote by George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.
George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion (1916)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Salad is Incompatible with Life
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries,
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please,
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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I wonder what it means about American literary culture and its transmission when I consider the number of American poets who earn their living teaching creative writing in universities. I've ended up doing that myself.
quote by Marilyn Hacker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blind Sheep
(n. unobsky / d. ironstone / t. faragher
- additional lyrics by dusty springfield)
(please note : these lyrics are not complete.
They are complete as far as we have been able
To decipher them.
If anyone has any ideas as to what the question
Marks represent - please contact the owner of
The website with suggestions.)
Hey! just stop your domination
You cant move on my personality
Unconcerned, you use manipulation
Shamelessly
Well, you know youve got ? ? an? ? education
It simply fails to satisfy my needs
Its a fools game
Nobodys gonna rule me
Oh, those blind sheep
Lead em to the slaughter
Blind sheep
Mothers, hide your daughters
Loves cheap
Look at the smile on their faces
Oh, ho
Blind, leadin the blind, leading the blind
Hey, hey, hey
Im tired of suffocation
Oh, but for talk
You never follow through
What I want is some hot and hard persuasion
Endlessly
Its so sad, the sleazy innuendoes
Theyve brought so many victims to their knees
Chain reaction
Half-assed satisfaction
Youve got me but a blind sheep
Lead em to the slaughter
Blind sheep
Mothers, hide your daughters
Loves cheap
Look at the smile on their faces
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Blind, leading the blind, leading the blind
Deprivation just dont work on me
Even affliction, it just dont do it
All I want is
What I need is
(blind sheep)
Its not fashion to you
Youre just malicious
Dont get trying
Simply not judicious
All I want is
What I need is
(blind sheep)
Such a city, something exotic
You autocrat
Im simply not turned onto that
All I want is
What I need is
(blind sheep)
? ? ? debility? ? ?
God knows what this one is
Im by the side of the station
This doesnt make sense, but sounds like what she sings
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Englishman wants to be recognized as a gentleman, or as some other suitable species of human being, the American wants to be considered a good guy.
quote by Louis Kronenberger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A cross-eyed Tsar, one-eyed ministers, blind subjects.
Americana Panorama
Martin Luther B.B. King
You had a dream and you make us swing
Doctor Winston J.F.K.
You had a dream but they blew you away
American panorama
Big apple rice banana
Bit but keep your backs against the wall
Pretzel logic does apply
Oh fast food junk food gets you by
You got delis diners southern fries
And burgen queens with hungry eyes
That's American panorama
Aerobatic instant karma
Run but do your jogging in the car
Tricky didn't make it
But his part deserves an oscar
When he proved that you can fool the people
all the time
And from the Rockies to the Hudson
Everybody loves a winner
Turn a blind eye to corruption
While the nation grows
Oh oh I feel the pressure rising
You're on top of the world but it's about to blow
Do you know what you're doing?
Do you know?
Take a look at what you've done
You are the shape of things to come
It's science fiction coming true
You can shoot the stars it's up to you
American panorama
Living in a TV drama
Turn it off and make the dream come true
Oh oh American panorama
Living in a TV drama
Turn it off and make the dream come true
song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wild Eyed Southern Boys
Its a hot night at the juke joint
And the bands pumpin rhythm and blues
Gonna spill a little rock and roll blood tonight
Gonna make some front page news
And the ladies hate the violence
Still they never seem to look away
Cause they love those
Wild eyed southern boys
Wild eyed boys
Wild eyed southern boys
Its a southern point of honor
You got a get right in on the action
You can hear the outlaws holler
Fight for the lady in black
And she's just one in a million
But she's all I need tonight
Cause she loves those
Wild eyed southern boys
Wild eyed boys
Wild eyed southern boys
Wild eyed boys
Oohhh yeah
Wild eyed boys
A man of wealth and power
Is out on the dance hall floor
He got a champagne Eldorado parked outside the door
And he's looking for a honky tonk angel
But he don't stand a chance in hell
Cause he ain't no wild eyed southern boy
Wild eyed boy
Wild eyed southern boy
Wild eyed
Wild eyed southern boy
Wild eyed southern boys
Wild eyed boy
Wild eyed southern boy
Wild eyed boy
Wild eyed boy
Wild eyed southern boys
Wild eyed boys
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My American Dream
Author unknown (sung by dan peek)
Found on heard.
I always thought that I wanted a long, new, shiny cadillac
That a real man wears five hundred dollar suits upon his back
I always thought that I needed a big, old house with a million dollar view
But baby, since we fell in love, all I needed is you
Waking up (waking up) to my american dream
Shes a long haired, blue eyed, country girl
Shes better than a fantasy
Waking up (waking up) to my american dream
And I would not trade the whole wide world
For what she means to me
Shes pretty as the moonlight on the gulf of mexico
And her heart is pure and true as any california gold
I put her on a pedastel like lady liberty
Know there is no finer girl from sea to shining sea
Im waking up (waking up) to my american dream
Shes a long haired, blue eyed, country girl
Shes better than a fantasy
Waking up (waking up) to my american dream
And I would not trade the whole wide world
For what she means to me
Waking up (waking up) to my american dream
Shes a real live, blue eyed, country girl
The best thing Ive ever seen
And I would not trade the whole wide world
For what she means to me
Im waking up (waking up) to my american dream
Im waking up (Im waking up) to my american dream
song performed by by America
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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