Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
quote by Rick Reilly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let the man get his money
Throughout all my life, I tried to act smart
And once, I was driving in a golf cart
With a partner who seemed a little retard
Who was always protected by a bodyguard
I was young and bold, he was old and lame
When he lost in golf, he challenged me for another game
A game of poker, baccarat, roulette
With a gun to my head, I couldn’t say net*
I knew the dices were loaded, from the start
It’s not just the money that were at stake
The old dude wanted to steal my soul
I didn’t have right for a single mistake
Despite the odds I won in his game
He was upping the ante, all the same
Blackjack,3 cards and finally – crap
Yet, he failed to catch me in his devilish trap
My guardian angel was too strong for him
It defeated the old piranha
He waived to his goons and uttered the words:
Let the man get his money…
***
August 25,2009
poem by Slava Olchevski
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School Is Not So Cool
School, School, School,
A school is not so cool
We're here 5 days a week
8 hours a day.
School, School, School,
A school is not so cool.
People laugh when we fall
we just have to make a call.
School, School, School
A school is not so cool.
We have to work hard to get good grades
I'm not going to do it no more
I do it everyday.
We cant go on the grass
We cant bother another class
We cant save spots at lunch
We have to go as a bunch.
We have 3 minutes in the hall
I'm always late what a ball.
We have to pay attention
if not we get detention.
School, School, School,
A school is not so cool.
They have to many rules
they play us as fools
if we get A's
the parents jump Hip Hip Hooray.
If we get F's
we tell them we need to take a rest.
We always have homework
we never have classwork
they have to many rules
they need to take it cool.
School, School, School,
A school is so not cool!
poem by Chantel Braatz
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Be True To Your School
When some loud braggart tries to put me down
And says his school is great
I tell him right away
Now whats the matter buddy
Aint you heard of my school
Its number one in the state
So be true to your school now
Just like you would to your girl or guy
Be true to your school now
And let your colors fly
Be true to your school
I got a lettermans sweater
With a letter in front
I got for footbal and track
Im proud to where it now
When I cruise around
The other parts of the town
I got a decal in back
So be true to your school now
Just like you would to your girl or guy
Be true to your school now
And let your colors fly
Be true to your school
On friday well be jacked up on the football game
And Ill be ready to fight
Were gonna smash em now
My girl will be working on her pom-poms now
And shell be yelling tonight
So be true to your school now
Just like you would to your girl or guy
Be true to your school now
And let your colors fly
Be true to your school
Rah rah rah be true to your school
Rah rah rah be true to your school
Rah rah rah be true to your school
Rah rah rah be true to your school
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A School Is So Not Cool
School Is Not So Cool
School, School, School,
A school is not cool
We're here 5 days a week
8 hours a day.
School, School, School,
A school is not cool.
People laugh when we fall
we just have to make a call.
School, School, School
A school is not cool.
We have to work hard to get good grades
I'm not going to do it no more
I do it every day.
We can’t go on the grass
We can’t bother another class
We can’t save spots at lunch
We have to go as a bunch.
We have 3 minutes in the hall
I'm always late what a ball.
We have to pay attention
if not we get detention.
School, School, School,
A school is not cool.
They have too many rules
they play us as fools
if we get A's
the parents jump Hip Hip Hooray.
If we get F's
we tell them we need to take a rest.
We always have homework
we never have class work
they have to many rules
they need to take it cool.
School, School, School,
A school is so not cool!
poem by Fahed Sharaf
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There are no maladies in my golf game. My golf game stinks.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Slap Leather
Take all the money that we need for school
And to keep the street people in out of the cold
Spend it on a weapon you can never use
Make the world an offer that they cant refuse
Open up the door and let the shark-men feed
Hoover of the future in the land of greed
Sell the ponderosa to the japanese
Slap leather, head for that line of trees, yeah
Slap leather
Go on ron
Just about to go myself
Turn the whole wide world into a tv show
So its just the same game wherever you go
You never meet a soul that you dont already know
One big advertisement for the status quo
As if these celebrities were your close friends
As if you knew how the story ends
As if you werent sitting in a room alone
And there was somebody real at the other end of the phone, yeah
Squibnocket
Phone sex
Just about to dial your number
Get all worked up so we can go to war
We find something worth killing for
Tie a yellow ribbon around your eyes
Big mcfalafel and a side of fries
Yeah, big mcfalafel
Stormin norman
I just love a parade
Slap leather
Phone love
Big mcfalafel
Just about to dial myself
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have come to understand and appreciate writers much more recently since I started working on a book last fall. Before that, I thought golf writers got up every morning, played a round of golf, had lunch, showed up for our last three holes and then went to dinner.
quote by Phil Mickelson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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School's Out
Well we got no choice
All the girls and boys
Makin all that noise
Cause they found new toys
Well we can't salute ya
Can't find a flag
If that don't suit ya
[Cooper:]
That's a drag
School's out for the summer
School's out forever
I'm bored to pieces
Well we got no class
And we got no principals
And we got no intelligence
We can't even think of a word that rhymes
[Cooper:]
Well we can't salute ya
Can't find a flag
If that don't suit ya
That's a drag
[CHORUS]
No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's
Dirty looks
Out for summer
Out till fall
We might not come
Back at all
School's out for summer (detention!)
School's out forever
School's out with fever
School's out completely
School's out for summer
song performed by by A-Teens from Pop 'Til You Drop!
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pick Up Game First One To 11 By 1's
fOR ME TO WIN IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN IMPORTANT.
WHY DOES HE HAS RUBBER BANDS ON HIS ARMS, THAT QUESTION SHALL BE DISCOVER AS YOU GROW WE THE GAME.
ILL STOLE IT THREE TIME IN ONE GAME, HES A BIG MAN BUT THE SCORE 7-11, COME MY PEPS DONT LET ME IMPRESS YOU INN FRONT YOUR PEOPLE, THAT COULD BEEN ON A HIGHLIGHT REEL
GETTING SHUT OUT IN GAME TO 11 YOU KNOW HE'S NOT GOING GET A NOTHING GAME.
tHE GAME OF BASKETBALL IS ALL ABOUT RESPECT,
THE ULTRAMENT RESPECT IS TO GIVE NO RESPECT,
WHEN IT COME TO THE GAME OF BASKETBALL.
thats how you gain respect! ! ! !
AND IM HURT AND STILL TOOK YOUR MAN GAME YOU TELL ME WAS WE PLAY TO A ELEVEN OR WAS I JUST TAKE YOU SCHOOL.
talking about running the city, we talk about that later after your lesson
BECAUSE IF IT WAS A GAME FULL COURT FIVE ON FIVE AND IT GAME BASE ON STRAGTEY NOT SKILL WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD WIN.
RESPECT IS GIVING WHEN YOU SHOW IT, CHECK IS IN,
BALL PLAY.
poem by Louis Borgo
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W
While bodies bloated in dark water
floated past news dinghys
W was making mincemeat
of Karl on the ping pong table
Karl complained about W’s catlike moves
“You can’t beat me outright turdblossom”
“I’m on my game “ he said in his faux Texas jibe
Karl knew better than to play right handed
“You two better break this up, it’s lunchtime”
said the fawning wife who winked at Karl
Karl let W's weak slam sink the game
“ Good game tubby” snickered W
Karl thought of the big game in Florida
which he’d rigged for a W win
He felt glowing pride after lunch
like the virtuoso and his prodigy
watching W get in the golf cart
“I’m driving cause' I’m the Prez” drawled W
Karl thought, “If you only knew”.
poem by George Murdock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We know that golf is an ancient game with great history and tradition, but our golf is only 10 years old so don't judge us too harshly.
quote by Nursultan Nazarbayev
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sunday Morning
Sunday morning silence, curtain stay closed late
No one thinks of kitchens mornings in a filthy state
Dishes cups and beer stains, ashtrays on the floor
Sunday morning papers are left outside the front door
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
(sunday, bloody sunday rest)
Glass of fizzy water helps to start the day
Sit and listen to sunday silence, problems fade away
Sunday cars and drivers break the morning air
Uncollected milk outside reveals theres no one there
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Sunday school and sunday roast
Sunday papers sunday post
Sunday morning sunday rest
Sunday sermon sunday best
Bathrobes hang in waiting, windows steaming up
Somewhere in the sink downstairs lies an unwashed cup
Tea and toast for breakfast clear away the plates
Wash-up prepare for cooking sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits
Sunday lunch awaits
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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High School sweethearts
started out as high school swwethearts
i sit in front of class
he sits in the back
i pass him his worksheet
he says come sit back here with me
i think to myself
he seems new here
so i sit back there to help
turn out he didnt need it
then i look in to his eyes
what a surprise
he seems so cute
the teacher tell us to hush
so i pass him a note
he reads do you like me yes no maybe
he writes back yes lol you crazy
then the bell rings for lunch
so he set to himself
i came and set with
he ask whats my name
i say bri
he says sweet
my name james
so we go back to class
doin our classwork
this is our sophomore year
we hook up
2 years go by
he went to
a different school
this is now our senior year
class of 2010
heart school sweethearts
never part
even when he change school
so what does that tell you
nothing is impossible
poem by Briangela Jones
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A Perfect Golf Course Lawn
A perfect golf course lawn,
A house painted by numbers,
A dog plays out back, and all
the children say, whats for
lunch, or dinner,
A man pulls in,
a women waves a white flag,
and all the children say,
this is my mom, and this is
my dad.
A perfect golf course lawn.
poem by David Gerardino
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The Old Main Drag
When I first came to london I was only sixteen
With a fiver in my pocket and my ole dancing bag
I went down to the dilly to check out the scene
And I soon ended up on the old main drag
There the he-males and the she-males paraded in style
And the old man with the money would flash you a smile
In the dark of an alley youd work for a fiver
For a swift one off the wrist down on the old main drag
In the cold winter nights the old town it was chill
But there were boys in the cafes whod give you cheap pills
If you didnt have the money youd cajole or youd beg
There was always lots of tuinol on the old main drag
One evening as I was lying down by leicester square
I was picked up by the coppers and kicked in the balls
Between the metal doors at vine street I was beaten and mauled
And they ruined my good looks for the old main drag
In the tube station the old ones who were on the way out
Would dribble and vomit and grovel and shout
And the coppers would come along and push them about
And I wished I could escape from the old main drag
And now Im lying here Ive had too much booze
Ive been shat on and spat on and raped and abused
I know that I am dying and I wish I could beg
For some money to take me from the old main drag
song performed by by Pogues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Miss Piggy regrets..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
That tastelessly named flu’s got her
(She forgot to wash her front trotter…) so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
It’s a swine of a stroke of bad luck:
Her eyelashes, she sneezed them unstuck… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today…
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
She’s all pink from her snout to her face;
Her mascara’s all over the place… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..
Why not try the lamb today, madam…?
poem by Michael Shepherd
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School and teachers
You go to school
everyday
just to be told
you can't do it that way
you have to do it my way
it is in the rules
and you think
school isn't cool
teachers think they're all that
and that they can control us
but sometimes I wish my teachers
would get hit by a bus
I know that sounds mean
but I haven't even said
that school everyday
I always dread
It feels like a prison
with no escape
why oh why
am I bound to this fate?
Of course we have to go to school
we have to all week
but couldn't school be more fun
instead of really starting to reek!
But we have to go through it
all 12 grades
and we have to go to college
what a bad day!
The days drag on
they never end
until the bells rings
and I run as fast as I can
It's almost christmas break
and I can't wait
because more days at school
I just can't take.
School sucks
and I think it is bad
and even though we are tortured
it isn't all bad
I guess what i'm trying to say is
school can sometimes be good
and you learn stuff
and that's is sorta good
so school is boring
and is not really fun
but we will get through it
and then for joy we will jump
poem by Shelbie Bozeman
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I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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