Six years ago, I completed the premier episode of Hawaii Five-O, and Jack Lord and I immediately realized that we had a good series, that this was a success such as we'd never hoped for!
quote by James MacArthur
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Hawaii
Do you wanna go
Straight to hawaii
(hawaii) hawaii (hawaii)
Straight to hawaii (hawaii, hawaii)
Oh do (honolulu, waikiki) you wanna come along with me
(do you wanna come along with me)
I heard about all the pretty girls
With their grass skirts down to their knees
All my life I wanted to see
The island called hawaii
Go to hawaii
(hawaii) hawaii (hawaii)
Straight to hawaii (hawaii, hawaii)
Oh do (honolulu, waikiki) you wanna come along with me
(do you wanna come along with me)
Now I dont know what town youre from
But dont tell me that they got bigger waves
Cause everyone that goes
Comes back with nothing but raves
Thats in hawaii
(hawaii) hawaii (hawaii)
Thats in hawaii (hawaii, hawaii)
Oh do (honolulu, waikiki) you wanna come along with me
(do you wanna come along with me)
And pretty soon this winter
Theyll hold the surfing championship of the year
Surfer guys and girls
Will be coming from far and near
Go to hawaii
(hawaii) hawaii (hawaii)
Go to hawaii (hawaii, hawaii)
Oh do (honolulu, waikiki) you wanna come along with me
(do you wanna come along with me)
And you now (honolulu, waikiki)
You wanna live hanah lee
(do you wanna come along with me)
Ooo ooo ooo (honolulu, waikiki)
Ooo ooo ooo (do you wanna come along with me)
Ooo ooo ooo (honolulu, waikiki)
Ooo ooo ooo (do you wanna come along with me)
Ooo ooooo (honolulu, waikiki)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paradise, Hawaiian Style
(words & music by bill giant - b. baum - f. kaye)
Hawaii, u.s.a., hawaii..u.s.a..
Were flyin, comin your way
Aloha, hawaii u.s.a.
Gee its great, to be in that fiftieth state
The land of enchanted dreams
What an isle, where its heaven tropical style
Where love weaves a spell, it seems
Hawaii, u.s.a., hawaii..u.s.a..
Were flyin, comin your way
Aloha, hawaii u.s.a.
Gee what fun, just to swim and surf in the sun
While the trade winds caress the sea
What a sight, those exotic scenes of delight
Are waiting for you and me
Hawaii, u.s.a....hawaii...u.s.a...hawaii..u.s.a....
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We knew all along we were making a good show, so its success was not a surprise to me. What has surprised me is the magnitude of this show's success. More people see me now in one episode than saw me in 20 years of movies and theater!
quote by William Petersen
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Melekalikimaka
Its been my secret passion to try it
To spend my christmas surfin, I cant deny it
I wanna spend my christmas on the kona coast in hawaii
For years I saved my pennies and planned it
The great pacific ocean, well span it
I wanna spend christmas where I dig it the most, in hawaii
Go to hawaii
Melekalikimaka is merry christmas in hawaii talk-a
And at lahaina well count the shooting stars
And it will be just you and me in hawaii
The suntanned beauties are everywhere
If youre comin to the islands then you might stare
And find a girl waiting for you there in hawaii
Kani and wahini and the haoles, too
Wish a melekalikimaka to you
Theyre the friendliest people anywhere in hawaii
Go to hawaii
Melekalikimaka is how they say it in island talk-a
The island flower fragrance in the air
Well write a card and underneath the mango trees
Well say, wish you were here with us in hawaii
Winter in the sun and surfd sure be nice
In a south sea garden paradise
I wanna spend christmas where I dig it the most, in hawaii
Honolulu, waikiki
Do you wanna come along with me?
Waimia up to hanalai
Id love to take you to the islands today
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And after four years, I thoroughly enjoy Hawaii and the success of the show.
quote by James MacArthur
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kona Coast
Its been my secret passion to try it
In captain cook fashion, I cant deny it
I want to spend my winters on the kona coast in hawaii
For years I saved my pennies and planned it
The great pacific ocean well span it
I wanna go surfin where I dig it the most, in hawaii
(go to hawaii)
Hawaiian islands beckon (hawaii)
And Ill be back here someday, I reckon
And pretty island girls greet you with a flower lei
Youll throw it back into the sea
Hopin you be comin back to hawaii
Suntanned beauties are everywhere
Lovely island ladies with long dark hair
Youre sure to find a honey waitin for you there in hawaii
Kani and wahini and wahowalis, too
Get a friendly aloha from this mecca to you
Theyre the friendliest people anywhere in hawaii
(go to hawaii)
Welcome to the island mecca. (hawaii)
Ill learn to talk like a local, I betcha
And at lahaina look out for shooting stars
Well watch them fall into the sea
And it will be just you and me in hawaii
Winter in the sun and surf would sure be nice
In a south sea garden of paradise
I wanna spend my summer on the kona coast in hawaii
(honolulu, waikiki, do you wanna come along with me? )
(waimia up to hanalai, love to take you to the islands today)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The aim of the tests carried on with these syllable series was, by means of repeated audible perusal of the separate series, to so impress them that immediately afterward they could voluntarily be reproduced.
quote by Hermann Ebbinghaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The only thing that's changed is the competitiveness of the series. It's only become harder to win in our series as the years have gone by. Competition breeds good things, and that's what's happened here.
I have been in the series for over 3 years - 3 series. There will be a fourth series next year which of course I won't be in because I'm now dead. So in total I appeared in 25 episodes.
quote by Richard Briers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In nighttime series, the actor gets billing up front on every episode.
quote by Michael Zaslow
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Well, I just finished starring in a new episode of the new The Twilight Zone television series.
Happy Hawaii
Early this morning I drove in the rain
Out to the airport to get on the plane
Hey honololu, were going to happy hawaii
Alice has been there, she said it was fun
Swimming and surfing, enjoying the sun
Hey honololu, were going to happy hawaii
After all Ive had to go through
Im making no plans (making no plans oh-ooh)
But i, but I believe love gives me a second chance
Guess Ive been working a little too hard
Need a vacation, Ill send you a card
From honololu, a greeting from happy hawaii
Its so exciting, why should I pretend
In a few hours the plane will descend
Hey honololu, were going to happy hawaii
I can imagine the beach and the sand
Walking with someone and holding his hand
Hey honololu, were going to happy hawaii
After all Ive had to go through
Im making no plans (making no plans oh-ooh)
But i, but I believe love gives me a second chance, mmm
Ive got a feeling the dream will come true
Somebodys waiting and Ill forget you
Hey honololu, were going to happy hawaii
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lord, I give you all my praise. (To the tune of down at the cross)
O Lord, My God, I give you all my praise
You have cared for me all my days
You have comfort and strengthen me
Lord, I give you all my praise.
Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes, God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
O’ Lord, My God, to you I lift my hand
You will bless me right where I stand
You will guide me along the way
Lord, I give you all my praise.
Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
O Lord My God to you I sing my praise
I surrender and beg for your grace
Please O’ Lord, forgive all my sins.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
O Lord, my God I need your help today
Please send some aid quickly my way
Problems are so bad I can hardly pray
Lord, I give you all my praise.
Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes, God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
O Lord, My God, thanks for all you have done
You have empowered me to overcome
Now, I can claim my battle as won
Lord, I give you all my praise.
Yes God has been good to me.
God has been so good me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.
poem by Reginald Walker
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Don't give me success! !
O Lord! don't give me success,
If it takes away my freedom;
Don't give me success,
If it pulls me in the ditch of pride;
O Lord! don't give me success,
If it makes me alone;
If it takes away my friends,
If it makes me deaf to hear the forest;
O Lord! don't give me such a success,
If it takes me away from thy beauty;
Don't give me success, O Lord!
If it takes me away from You!
poem by Niharica Bhardwaj
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To Jack
SO, I’ve battled it through on my own, Jack,
I have done with all dreaming and doubt.
Though “stoney” to-night and alone, Jack,
I am watching the Old Year out.
I have finished with brooding and fears,
Jack, And the spirit is rising in me,
For the sake of the old New Years, Jack,
And the bright New Years to be.
I have fallen in worldly disgrace, Jack,
And I know very well that you heard;
They have blackened my name in this place, Jack,
And I answered them never a word.
But why should I bluster or grieve,
Jack? So narrow and paltry they be—
I knew you would never believe, Jack,
The lies that were said against me.
That is done which shall never be undone,
And I blame not, I blame not my land,
But I’m hearing the Calling of London,
And I long for the roar of the Strand.
It was always the same with our race,
Jack; You know how a vagabond feels—
We can fight a straight man face to face, Jack.
But we can’t keep the curs from our heels.
You know I loved women and drink, Jack,
And that’s how the trouble began;
But you know that I never would shrink,
Jack, From a deed that was worthy a man!
I never was paltry or mean, Jack.
And cruel I never could be,
I will give you a hand which is clean,
Jack, When we meet again over the sea.
I will bring a few wrinkles of care,
Jack; I have altered a lot, I am told;
The steel-filings show in my hair, Jack;
But my heart is as young as of old.
I have faith still in women, and men, Jack,
Though selfish and blind they may be.
I still have my soul and my pen, Jack,
And my country seems dearer to me.
I will sail when your summer sets in, Jack,
And good-bye to my own native land;
Oh, I long for a glimpse of your grin, Jack,
And I long for the grip of your hand.
We both suffered sorrow and pain, Jack,
And sinned in the days that are done;
But we’ll fight the old battle again, Jack,
Where the battle is worth being won.
poem by Henry Lawson
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Hawaiian Sunset
(words & music by sid tepper - roy bennett)
Hawaiian sunset peeping from the sea
Smiles and says aloha to his sweetheart hawaii
The drowsy islands slumber one by one
Close their sleepy eyelids say goodnight to the sun
Then hawaii like millions of times before
Blossoms in her lovers arms once more
Too soon the sunrise will wake her from her sleep
So until tomorrow, sleep hawaii sleep.
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lord Robert's Triumphal Entry into Pretoria
'Twas in the year of 1900, and on the 5th of June,
Lord Roberts entered Pretoria in the afternoon;
His triumphal entry was magnificent to see,
The British Army marching behind him fearlessly.
With their beautiful banners unfurled to the breeze,
But the scene didn't the Boers please;
And they immediately made some show of fight,
But at the charge of the bayonet they were put to flight.
The troops, by the people, were received with loud cheers,
While many of them through joy shed joyous tears;
Because Lord Roberts from bondage had set them free,
Which made them dance and sing with glee.
Lord Roberts' march into Pretoria was inspiring to see,
It is reckoned one of the greatest achievements in our military history;
Because the Boers were watching him in front and behind,
But he scattered them like chaff before the wind.
Oh! it was a most beautiful and inspiring sight
To see the British bayonets glittering in the sunlight,
Whilst the bands played "See the conquering hero comes,"
While the people in ecstasy towards them run.
The British marched into Pretoria like the rushing tide,
And the Boers around Pretoria there no longer could abide,
Because the British at the charge of the bayonet made them run with fear,
And fly from Pretoria just like wild dear.
Then Lord Roberts cried, "Pull down the Transvaal Flag,
And hoist the Union Jack instead of the Transvaal rag;
And shout 'Britannia for ever,' and 'Long live our Queen,'
For she is the noblest Queen the world has ever seen."
Then the Union Jack was hoisted and unfurled to the breeze,
Which certainly did the Boers displease,
When they saw the Union Jack flying o'er their capital,
The sight thereof amazed them, and did them appall.
And when old Kruger saw Lord Roberts he shook with fright,
Then he immediately disguised himself and took to flight,
Leaving his poor wife in Pretoria behind,
But the British troops have treated her very kind.
Now let us all thank Lord Roberts for his great bravery,
Who has gained for the people of Pretoria their liberty,
By his skillful tactics and great generalship, be it told,
And the courage of his soldiers, who fought like lions bold.
Lord Roberts is a brave man, be it said,
Who never was the least afraid
To defend his Queen and country when called upon;
And by his valorous deeds great battles he has won.
Then success to Lord Roberts and the British Army,
May God protect them by land and by sea;
And enable them always to conquer the Boers,
And beat all foreign foes from our shores.
poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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