Richard Okay... seatbelts. Just put the little thing into the big thing and... I tell ya what. If you don't know how to fasten your seatbelt, just raise your hand and I'll have Tommy Boy here come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer because you're a RETARD
Related quotes
Takeoffs And Landings
On this coldest of January nights
We drive out past the runway and watch the planes go flying by
The runway lights are the deepest blue like the colors of your eyes
So close them tight and kiss me one last time
If you could go anywhere right now
Where would you go?
And would you miss me when you get there?
No place that I would rather be
Please don't let me go falling from the sky
The "fasten seatbelt" sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldn't seem so far from here
Passport, customs, carry on, remember
To shut off all of your electronic devices
Fell asleep on Tuesday woke up Monday afternoon
I slept right through your International Date Line
If you could go anywhere right now
Where would you go?
And would you miss me when you get there?
No place that I would rather be
Please don't let me go falling from the sky
The "fasten seatbelt" sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldn't seem so far from here
Please don't let me go falling from the sky
The "fasten seatbelt" sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldn't seem so far from here
song performed by by Ataris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Takeoffs & Landings
On this coldest of january nights
We drive out past the runway and watch the planes go flying by
The runway lights are the deepest blue like the colors of your eyes
So close them tight and kiss me one last time
If you could go anywhere right now
Where would you go?
And would you miss me when you get there?
No place that I would rather be
Please dont let me go falling from the sky
The fasten seatbelt sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldnt seem so far from here
Passport, customs, carry on, remember
To shut off all of your electronic devices
Fell asleep on tuesday woke up monday afternoon
I slept right through your international date line
If you could go anywhere right now
Where would you go?
And would you miss me when you get there?
No place that I would rather be
Please dont let me go falling from the sky
The fasten seatbelt sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldnt seem so far from here
Please dont let me go falling from the sky
The fasten seatbelt sign just needs to go out
If only you could be right here by my side
Home wouldnt seem so far from here
song performed by by Ataris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tommy Keep Your Head Down
Tommy is a soldier in the army
Tommy thinks all the “Top Brass” are barmy
Tommy is out on patrol in Iraq
Tommy hears gun-fire, he’s under attack
“Tommy keep your head down” a voice did say
Tommy saw the “Insurgents” run away
Tommy felt a burning pain in his head
Tommy fell to the ground, and Tommy bled
Tommy did not wish to die in the sand
Tommy had a wife,5 kids, all unplanned
Tommy has a widow and 5 orphans
Tommy has donated all his organs
Tommy was a soldier in the army
Tommy knows all the “Top Brass” are barmy________________
poem by Gordon David
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Retard Girl
Retard girl makes us sick
Retard, poke her with a stick
Well she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
See the retard girl walking in her school
In the same dress from fourth grade
See the retard girl cross-eyed in the schoolyard
Looking for the friend she made
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
Now shines the moon among the lake of fire
Shes sucking dick out in the yard
Well she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
Hear the retard girl do one for me
She dont think like the others do
See the retard girl squirming in the mud
Throw her in the trash can, see what she does
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
I ask her mother, whyd you implode
Well, her heads so big it just might explode
And she walks funny, kind of like a pig
Gotta hate that retard girl
Hit her
See the retard girl staring at the sun
What does she see
See the retard girl stare at everyone
I hope she doesnt see me
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont forget her face
Retard girl
Retard girl
Retard girl
Dont throw her away
song performed by by Hole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Fasten Seatbelt Sign
The “fasten seatbelt” sign flickered on:
We will be landing soon
I am dreading my stay in Buffalo
Despite the fresh air and snow
It brings back memories of a December
Which I wish not to remember
He was outside The Brick House restaurant standing:
There in his long wool coat
He was handsome, with eyes of an icy blue
And a smile which could be nothing but true
He asked if we could dine together
If I had only known what my heart would weather
I had spent the next four days with him:
Days seeing the sights and nights in stylish restaurants
But then I had to return to Chicago
To the bitter wind and chaotic traffic flow
He told me to fear not, he would see me soon
But, alas, he never came, and my heart’s hopes were strewn
The “fasten seatbelt” sign flickered on:
We will be landing soon
I am dreading my stay in Buffalo
Despite the fresh air and the snow
But there I see him at the end of the runway
Waiting to love me, to chase my fears away
poem by Sarah Machalk
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tommy Did you hear I graduated Richard Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right. Tommy You know a lot of people go to college for seven years. Richard I know, they're called doctors.
Hammer Horror
You stood in the belltower,
But now youre gone.
So who knows all the sights
Of notre dame?
Theyve got the stars for the gallant hearts.
Im the replacement for your part.
But all I want to do is forget
You, friend.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave me alone.
The first time in my life,
I leave the lights on
To ease my soul.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave it alone.
I dont know,
Is this the right thing to do?
Rehearsing in your things,
I feel guilty.
And retracing all the scenes,
Of your big hit,
Oh, god, you needed the leading role.
It wasnt me who made you go, though.
Now all I want to do is forget
You, friend.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave me alone.
The first time in my life,
I leave the lights on
To ease my soul.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave it alone.
I dont know,
Is this the right thing to do?
Who calls me from the other side
Of the street?
And who taps me on the shoulder?
I turn around, but youre gone.
Ive got a hunch that youre following,
To get your own back on me.
So all I want to do is forget
You, friend.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave me alone.
The first time in my life,
I leave the lights on
To ease my soul.
Hammer horror, hammer horror,
Wont leave it alone.
I dont know,
Is this the right thing to do?
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Post Post-modern Man
If I had a hammer
Id wake up my neighbors
Pounding out a rhythm
All about you
If I had a pencil
Id push me some paper
Id build a skyscraper
To get close to you
If I had a lasso
Id sail out the window
And land on an island
Next to you
If I had a hot rod
Id fasten up my seatbelt
And break the speed limit
Gettin to you
But I aint got a hammer
And I aint got a pencil
And I aint got a lasso
So Im doing it the hard way
Like a post post-modern man
If I had a credit card
Id clear me a pathway
Through the deepest jungle
Right to your door
If I had a camera
Id snap away my fingers
And collect up the pictures
Of you of course
But I aint got a hot rod
And I aint got a credit card
No chance for a camera
So Im doing it the hard way
Like a post post-modern man
Well I aint got a hammer
And I aint got a lasso
No chance for a camera
So Im doing it the hard way
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The thing is, is to raise your hand. It's not to hide, and it's not to try and pretend or do anything like that. You raise your hand, that's the best thing about it.
quote by Liza Minnelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Same Thing Happened To Me
Moonlight shining on the back of my hand
Cat fight rattlin the garbage can
Looks like somethin chased you up a tree
Same thing, same thing happened to me
Wild wind blowing down the neck of my shirt
Old men sitting on a bench in the dirt
Seems that another ship has gone out to sea
Same thing, same thing happened to me
Shoe shine someones got to tell ya the news
A fine line separates a boy from the blues
Looks like you could use some company
Same thing, same thing happened to me
Runnin, runnin just as fast as I can
Someone, someone take a hold of my hand
Looks like somethin chased you up a tree
Same thing, same thing happened to me
Same thing, same thing happened to me.
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Would You Like to Participate With Us
Would you like to participate with us,
During our global meditation?
Many of us are striving for a higher consciousness!
And we are going to do this the first of the year.
At 12noon!
'Excuse me?
A higher what?
Consciousness.
Oh, I'm conscious all right.
Ain't nuthin' wrong with my mind!
Naw...
Ya'll go 'head with that mess!
Since...
That's yo thing not my thing and my thing ain't yo thing.
And you and them that do those things think ya'll all that!
Well..
My feet is on the Earth,
And I ain't got time to waste on nonsense!
I ain't 'bout to raise 'nuthin' no time soon!
I ain't got time to waste on that! '
So, that is a no?
'That's yo thing not my thing and my thing ain't yo thing.
And you and them that do those things think ya'll all that!
You better come down to Earth and be real! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Raise Your Hand
Great, great broad, miss janis joplin, please!
If there's something you need,
Hon that you've never, ever, ever had.
And i know you've never had it.
Oh, honey, don't you just sit there crying,
Don't just sit there feeling bad.
No, no, no.
You'd better get up,
Now, don't you understand ?
And raise you hand.
I said, raise, raise your hand.
You know i'm standing about, yes i am.
And i want to give you all my love.
Oh, won't you open up,
I said, open up your heart.
Please let me try.
You'd better be good.
Don't ya understand ?
Raise your hand.
I said, i wanna see it up in the air, babe,
Right here, right now, yeah!
Whoaaaah, yeah!
If you ever, ever need me,
Honey why won't you come and tell me so now ?
Baby if you want to give all of my loving,
I want to let it go.
You'd better be good, don't you understand,
I said raise it, raise it, raise it, raise it,
Raise.
Honey honey what it was
Honey honey what it was
Honey honey what it was
Whoaaaah
Whoaaaah
Whoaaaah
Whoaaaah
Alright
Alright
Raise your hand 'cause i want you to come along,
Raise your hand 'cause i want you to move
Honey groove
Come along, baby
Come, said come, come on,
Come, come, come on,
Come, come, come on,
Come, come, come on,
Hey now now now now
Hey now now now now
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand, yeah,
Raise your hand, yeah,
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand, yeah,
Raise your hand, yeah,
Raise your hand, yeah,
Raise your hand, yeah yeah yeah,
You gotta, hey hey,
You gotta, hey hey,
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand
Raise your hand, alright! awww!
Yeah!!
Alright, thank you.
song performed by by Janis Joplin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Next Big Thing
Walking down the street, it's everywhere you see
Looking right at you and staring right at me
You can't escape it cause it's in your face
The stars are out, they're bright today
It's the latest craze it sets your eyes ablaze
They're just hopin' this ain't just a passing phase
Turn the cycle to a faster spin
Throw the has been's out bring a fresh face in
This is your only chance knock 'em dead
Show it if you got it. The world is watching you
Take it if you want it. What have you got to lose
Raise your glass you made it
Everyone's waiting for the next big thing,
The next big thing
So now you won the fight, there's no end in sight
Everyone's your friend, might as well take a bite
You've just made it while the others dream
But just make sure the cash register rings
They all know your name, it's such an easy game
If all goes well, you'll have you're minute of fame
Suddenly people want to help you now
Plug it in, make sure you play it loud
This is your only chance knock 'em dead
Show it if you got it. The world is watching you
Take it if you want it. What have you got to lose
Raise your glass you made it
Everyone's waiting for the next big thing,
The next big thing
Show it if you got it. The world is watching you
Take it if you want it. What have you got to lose
Raise your glass you made it
Everyone's waiting for the next big thing,
The next big thing
Keep that spotlight on, breath it in
Cause when it's over you will know your friends
Yeah you enjoy yourself, appreciate the help
You'll need all the help you can get
Show it if you got it. The world is watching you
Take it if you want it. What have you got to lose
Raise your glass you made it
Everyone's waiting for the next big thing,
The next big thing
Show it if you got it. The world is watching you
Take it if you want it. What have you got to lose
Raise your glass you made it
Everyone's waiting for the next big thing,
The next big thing
song performed by by 1208
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Papers Width
It’s been contemplated
Its been planned and thought out
There’s no one home
No one to see
No one to hear
No one to know
Sense
Detect
No one to stop me
I close the blinds
Turn off the lights
I draw the gun from my pocket
And press it to my head
The barrel is cool as it touches
My finger is on the trigger about to break glass
“Do it, it will all be over soon”
“No! Don’t listen! Do not be tempted so easily”
“Its OK just squeeze it, you won’t feel a thing”
“It’s a lie, it might be quick but you’ll feel it! ”
“But you’ll escape, show them the pain they caused you”
“You’ll only hurt more people if you do it.
you’re holding the gun! Decide now! ”
I have the gun
I have to decide
Please someone stop me I don’t want to do it
My hand begins to tighten
Someone help me
The hammer drops
The bullet will fly through me
It will soon be the last thing in my mind
What happened?
The gun stopped!
The hammer stopped just before striking the bullet
The space was small only a papers width
As was my mind to do it or not
With my plan foiled I hide the gun
I sit by the door and think about what I almost had done.
Written: September 8,2006
poem by Ryan Collins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fooling Yourself (Palm Of Your Hands)
The Angry Young Man)
You see the world through your cynical eyes
You're a troubled young man I can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat
And your head needs a rest
And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
Why must you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me
And how can there be such a sinister plan
That could hide such a lamb
Such a caring young man
And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it.
Lyrics by: Tommy Shaw
Music by: Tommy Shaw
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life Is Beautiful
You plant a rose
And if the rose comes up
You're thankful to God
And when it doesn't you cuss him
You raise a child
And when the child grows up
You got to learn to let go
If you can't learn to love him
But, oh, what a beautiful thing when you sing
Hear all them bells ringing out in the street
Hammer strikes the metal and it makes me believe
'Cause if I don't believe in love
Then I don't believe in you
And I do
Now I'm not saying only bad news comes
For the people who want it
But you gotta play that music for who's listening
You got to have someone you wanna sing it to
Oh, what a beautiful thing when you sing
Hear all them bells ringing out in the street
Blue sky cracking and it makes me believe
Oh, hear all them bells ringing out in the street
Hammer strikes the metal and it makes me believe
'Cause if I don't believe in love
Then I don't believe in you
And I do
Close my eyes, see the glorious sunset
Through the windows of a store and I want it
Anyway, if I ever felt haunted
You were there for me
These angry people who are waiting to judge you
Have their own judgment that they'll have live up to
Open your mouth
And if nothing come through
Remember
You're the one that sings
And it's a gift
And life's a beautiful thing
Oh, don't waste it doll
You build a house and if the house comes up
You gotta work on that house
If you want to make it your home
'Cause everything inside that's not something you own
Is what you're taking with you
On the day that you go
And oh, what a beautiful world when we sing
Hear all them bells ringing out in the street
Hammer strikes the metal and it makes me believe
Hear all them bells ringing out in the street
Oh, hammer strikes the metal and it makes me believe
'Cause if I don't believe in love
Then I don't believe in you
And I do
song performed by by Ryan Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tommy Richard, who's your favorite little rascal Alfalfa or is it Spanky
The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.
quote by Tommy Chong
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gotta Get Her (Outta My Head)
Gotta get her out of my head
I gotta get her out of my heart
But I don't know where to start
Every little thing you do
Just won't let me get over you
Gotta get her out of my head
Gotta get her out of my heart
But I don't know where to start
Every little thing you do
Won't let me get over you
I think back on all the love we shared
Ain't it sad to see it all disappeared
When I don't even know where we went wrong
But my heart beats strong
And I know that you been away too long
But you know that I'm not the type of guy
To just sit around and let time pass me by
Got to get on out for a while
And just do my thing
But every time I get up
It seems I end up right back in love
Gotta get her out of my head
I gotta get her out of my heart
But I don't know where to start
Every little thing you do
Just won't let me get over you
I pretend that I'm not breaking down
I tried to hide the hurt whenever you come around
But it's plain to see that I need your love
So baby if you stayed another day
It wouldn't be too long
Everywhere I go at the end of every show
I press rewind to me and you
And the things we used to do
song performed by by Donell Jones from Life Goes On
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's A Love Thing
Yeah, yeah
Ooh it's a love thing
I been working all day long
And I'm ready to come on home to you
All the other guys roll their eyes
And don't realize it's what I want to do
It's what I want to do
They say I'm wrapped around your finger
But they don't understand
That what we got is more than just a diamond
On your hand
Baby it's a love thing, whoa
Baby it's a love thing, yeah
Sure I could hang around and complain about
The way things ought to be
Yeah there's trouble in the world
But you're the girl
Whose open arms are all I really need
And that's why I come runnin'
To be there by your side
To let 'em call me crazy
But it can't be denied
Baby it's a love thing, whoa
Baby it's a love thing, yeah
And it's not about the same last name
It's not a thing that can be explained
It's how you make me feel inside
And the way you hold me everynight
It's a love thing, whoa
Oh baby, it's a love thing, yeah
He we go now
It's a love thing
They say I'm wrapped around your finger
But they don't understand
That what we got is more than just a diamond
On your hand
Baby it's a love thing, whoa
Oh baby it's a love thing, yeah
Come on it's a love thing, whoa
Oh baby, It's a love thing, yeah
Oh, it's a love thing, whoa
Oh sugar, it's a love thing
No it ain't about no diamond ring
It's a love thing, whoa
Oh baby it's a love thing, yeah
It's a love, it's a love, it's a love thing
song performed by by Keith Urban
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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