As it has been told to me, my Dad had some kind of deal with Dick Clark. But when we got here, that fell through. So we were out here with no job, no furniture, no food.
quote by Danny Bonaduce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Making It Real
I was once told to make it real
Well here's the deal
It is I feel
No deviation off this rugged course
With remorse its sad to see someone try to explain it to me
What I already see
You got talent and wisdom
But you just don't how to use it
You abuse it.
I was once told to make it real
Well here's the deal
I try to better myself every day
With a sense of moral guidance
And absolute faith
In the dark world I embrace
So let me make my stance
My standing pose
For it is mine as you have yours
I was once told to make it real.
Well here's the deal.
I'm not here to please or get on my knees
I tell you what I want when I want
Like it or not
Its my power to overcome
Its my hour to be done
To waste with a smiling face
I was once told to make it real
Well here's the deal
Have you ever been told your trying to hard
Well I'm not
Everything goes
Everything flows
Like magic
Its something I've always known
I was told to make it real
Well here's the deal
The battle is already won
It was kinda fun
But now it on to the next
Never let limitation of a closed mined
Waste too much of your time
Accept them as the are
Which sometimes isn't very far
But don't make the measurement if they don't reach the par
Let them think there better
With another well written letter
Well I do make it real
And with this its my deal
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Incognito
My name is Dick.
I've had that name since the day I was born.
OK - it's Richard, but those who call me that
have a clipboard in their hand.
Then in my 20's I changed my name to Rick.
Please keep in mind - that was in `72.
At least I didn't choose Song Of Dog,
or Ben 2 Awe Sun.
Now some just call me Rick,
and some still call me Dick.
Some say Richard, then there's some
who aren't too sure of what to say.
Dick:
as a noun - What a dick!
an adjective - Hey dick head!
a verb: - Don't dick around!
an expletive - Dick! My hair is on fire!
Unless, of course, your name is Dick.
poem by Rick Stokes
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Music is the soundtrack of your life.
quote by Dick Clark
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't set trends. I just find out what they are and exploit them.
quote by Dick Clark
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We waited until we perfected the dog food, and then we worked on the cat food. Even though it's not going through the roof the way the dog food is, I think it will catch on eventually.
quote by Dick Van Patten
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It's real good to be back with you again this year.
quote by Dick Clark
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Breaking It Gently
ALL WAS UP with Richard Tanner—
‘Wait-a-Bit’ we called him. Dead?
Yes. The braceman dropped a spanner,
Landed Richard on the head;
Cracked his skull, sir, like a teacup,
Down the pump-shaft in the well.
Braceman hadn’t time to speak up,
Tanner never knew what fell.
Tell the widow? Who’d go through it?
No one on the shift would stir;
But Pat Ryan said he’d do it—
‘Nately break the news to her.’
Pat’s a splitter, and a kinder
Heart I never wish to know.
Stephens told him where to find her,
Begged him gently deal the blow.
In a very solemn manner
Ryan met the dead man’s wife—
‘Mornin’ to yez, Widdy Tanner!’
Says he gravely, ‘Such is life!’
‘I’m no widow!’ says she, prying
For the joke in Ryan’s eye.
‘’Scuse me, mum,’ says Paddy, sighing,
‘’Scuse me, mum, but that’s a lie.’
‘That remark would be repented
If Dick Tanner heard,’ says she.
‘Meanin’, mum, the late lamented
Party av that name?’ says he.
Still the widow missed the notion,
Wonder only filled her eye;
So Pat smothered his emotion,
Gulped, and had another try.
‘’Tis like this, ye see, me honey,
I’ve been sint t’ let ye know
Ye’ve inherited some money—
Twilve ’r fifteen pounds ’r so.
Through a schame av Providence’s,
Which no mortal man could dodge;
Poor Dick’s funeral expenses
Have fell due, mum, at the lodge!’
poem by Edward George Dyson
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Well, I'm using a cane, so what? So what if they shot me sitting in a wheelchair? That's life!
quote by Dick Clark
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If you want to stay young-looking, pick your parents very carefully.
quote by Dick Clark
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What, like I want to look like Dick Clark? No. I think I look great with liver spots.
quote by Dennis Quaid
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Now I'm Following You, Part 2
Let's dance, you can do a little two-step
I'll go anywhere that you step to, 'cause I'm following you.
My feet might be falling out of rhythm,
Don't know what I'm doing with them, but I know I'm following you.
Unlikely as it is to me, on the floor with two left feet
Let's boogie woogie till our hearts skip a beat, but who's counting?
Encore, once again around the dance floor
Romance is in the picture too, now I'm following you.
(Spoken:) Take it away, boys.
On the run.
Be the one.
On the run.
Spoken:
Yeah.
[Calling Dick Tracy, calling Dick Tracy]
[Come here Tracy, this is Sam, what are you doing up there?]
I'll tell ya.
[Calling Dick Tracy, calling Dick Tracy]
[Do you read me, Tracy?]
[To tell you the truth Tracy, I don't know.]
Find out.
An unexamined life is not worth living.
(Spoken:) Come over here!
Let's dance, you can do a little two-step
I'll go anywhere that you step to, 'cause I'm following you.
Encore, once again around the dance floor
Romance is in the picture too, now I'm following you.
But who's counting?
Spoken:
[Ten million, twenty million, thirty million]
What about Dick Tracy?
[Forty million]
Dick, that's an interesting name.
[Fifty million]
Dick Dick [Sixty million] Dick
Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick, [Seventy million], Dick,
Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick [Eighty million], Dick Dick Dick
Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick Dick
[Ninety million.]
Dick.
(Spoken:) My bottom hurts just thinking about it.
Unlikely as it is to me, on the floor with two left feet
Let's boogie woogie till our hearts skip a beat, but who's counting?
Encore, once again around the dance floor
Romance is in the picture too, now I'm following you.
(Spoken:) Would you knock it off please? Thank you
song performed by by Madonna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law
quote by Dick Clark
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
quote by Dick Clark
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Overweight with Food
Are you just a tub of lard and
Vastly overweight?
Do you think that when you die you'll
Need a piano crate
To act as coffin for your frame? -
Chosen as you die in shame, with
Only you to take the blame
For years of eating much the same:
A daily calorific fest
Gourmands of your ilk digest!
Is your heart in final fling and
Nearly set to burst?
Are your arteries bunged and clogged and
Feeling now the worst
For wear? - your aneurysm fit to blow
While blood as thick as rising dough
Cries 'Halt! ' to any hope of flow:
A dreadful state to put on show
In front of any nurse!
Best you hail a hearse.
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dick Clark is an American icon. I am honored that he has entrusted me with such a role in this national tradition.
quote by Ryan Seacrest
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dick Clark really didn't make rock 'n roll safe for America, as many people think.
quote by Annette Funicello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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69
Dick meets jane and a fire starts
Jane leaves dick and it breaks his heart
Dick asked jane, whyd you leave me?
Cause youre not dangerous, rough or sleazy
Now dicks dangerous
Now dicks rough
Now dicks sleazy
Nice guy dick dont live here anymore
Dick bought a swanky love pad down by the shore
Chorus
Hes going prime time
Online
69
All the girls come around to get dick
They all adore him now cause he acts like a prick
Each one tries to tie dick down
Dick never falls in love, on the girls start coming round
Dick dont fall for their sweetness
He knows their weakness
Dick knows a secret
Secret is dick leased himself a nice car
Girls like car
Girls like dick
Dick scores
Chorus
Solo
Suddenly jane wants back in dicks life
cause jane hears dicks a popular guy
Jane looks good, dick takes her home
Dick kicks hers out after he gets his bone
Now jane wants him
Now jane needs him
Now jane loves him
Jane loves dick now that she got the heave ho
Jane got what she wanted
Dick aint a nice guy no more
Chorus
Spoken by woman: but I want dick!
Solo
song performed by by Poison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Syrup Sponge
Pour a pint of cream
Upon my spongy bulge!
Scoop me with a
Hefty spoon;
Taste my essence -
Do you swoon?
Feed your self-esteem; indulge
In me until you burst -
Death by syrup sponge - you're cursed!
And as the count in inches gain
Upon your weary waist, the strain
Will tell, but you'll not care -
Steeped in sponge, you're unaware!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food
food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dick
Dont say a word
Your love is like a symphony
Brave as you dare
Its nothing but your game
Ill take off your shoes
To pull you up in extasy
Hide and to lose
Thats why Ill force you to
Move back a step (step)
Go back a step
Comon you shout
(3x)
Move back a step (step)
Move your head like that
Dick!!!!!!!!! oh dick!!!!!!!
Gotta go
Dick!!!!!!!!! yeah yeah come!
Now its time to live your fantasies
(yeah yeah)
And you know we have a new concept
To turn the kind of lust in penalty
Just look what I do
Move back a step (step)
Go back a step
Comon you shout
(3x)
Move back a step (step)
Move your head like that
Dick!!!!!!!!! oh dick!!!!!!!
Gotta go
Dick!!!!!!!!! yeah yeah come!
song performed by by Guano Apes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Salad is Incompatible with Life
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries,
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please,
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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