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De Worthiness of Argument
(A little argument spices up luv
And life now and then)
Widout women,
Dere would be no men.
Widout men,
Dere would be no women.
Widout women and men,
Dere would be no argument.
And widout de spice of argument,
De world would be seasonless and full of zombies.
poem by Gabriel Eshun
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Noddin' By De Fire
SOME folks t'inks hit's right an' p'opah,
Soon ez bedtime come erroun',
Fu' to scramble to de kiver,
Lak dey'd hyeahed de trumpet soun'.
But dese people day all misses
Whut I mos'ly does desiah;
Dat's de settin' roun' an' dozin',
An' a-noddin' by de fiah.
When you's tiahed out a-hoein',
Er a-followin' de plough,
Whut's de use of des a-fallin'
On yo' pallet lak a cow?
W'y, de fun is all in waitin'
In de face of all de tiah,
An' a-dozin' and a-drowsin'
By a good ol' hick'ry fiah.
Oh, you grunts an' groans an' mumbles
Case yo' bones is full o' col',
Dough you feels de joy a-tricklin'
Roun' de co'nahs of yo' soul.
An' you 'low anothah minute
'S sho to git you wa'm an' dryah,
W'en you set up pas' yo' bedtime,
Case you hates to leave de fiah.
Whut's de use o' downright sleepin'?
You can't feel it while it las',
An' you git up feelin' sorry
W'en de time fu' it is pas'.
Seem to me dat time too precious,
An' de houahs too short entiah,
Fu' to sleep, w'en you could spen' 'em
Des a-noddin' by de fiah.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Trouble In De Kitchen
DEY was oncet a awful quoil 'twixt de skillet an' de pot;
De pot was des a-bilin' an' de skillet sho' was hot.
Dey slurred each othah's colah an' dey called each othah names,
W'ile de coal-oil can des gu-gled, po'in oil erpon de flames.
De pot, hit called de skillet des a flat, disfiggered t'ing,
An' de skillet 'plied dat all de pot could do was set an' sing,
An' he 'lowed dat dey was 'lusions dat he wouldn't stoop to mek
'Case he reckernize his juty, an' he had too much at steak.
Well, at dis de pot biled ovah, case his tempah gittin' highah,
An' de skillet got to sputterin', den de fat was in de fiah.
Mistah fiah lay daih smokin' an' a-t'inkin' to hisse'f,
W'ile de peppah-box us nudgin' of de gingah on de she'f.
Den dey all des lef' hit to 'im, 'bout de trouble an' de talk;
An' howevah he decided, w'y dey bofe 'u'd walk de chalk;
But de fiah uz so 'sgusted how dey quoil an' dey shout
Dat he cooled 'em off, I reckon, w'en he puffed an' des went out.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
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Faith
I'S a-gittin' weary of de way dat people do,
De folks dat's got dey 'ligion in dey fiahplace an' flue;
Dey's allus somep'n comin' so de spit'll have to turn,
An' hit tain't no p'oposition fu' to mek de hickory bu'n.
Ef de sweet pertater fails us an' de go'geous yallah yam,
We kin tek a bit o' comfo't f'om ouah sto' o' summah jam.
W'en de snow hit git to flyin', dat's de Mastah's own desiah,
De Lawd'll run de wintah an' yo' mammy'll run de fiah.
I ain' skeered because de win' hit staht to rain and blow,
I ain't bothahed w'en he come er rattlin' at de do',
Let him taih hisse'f an' shout, let him blow an' bawl,
Dat's de time de branches shek an' bresh-wood 'mence to fall.
W'en de sto'm er railin' an' de shettahs blowin' 'bout,
Dat de time de fiah-place crack hits welcome out.
Tain' my livin' business fu' to trouble ner enquiah
De Lawd'll min' de wintah an' my mammy'll min' de fiah.
Ash-cake allus gits ez brown w'en February's hyeah
Ez it does in bakin' any othah time o' yeah.
De bacon smell ez callin'-like, de kittle rock an' sing,
De same way in de wintah dat dey do it in de spring;
Dey ain't no use in mopin' 'round an' lookin' mad an' glum
Erbout de wintah season, fu' hit's des plumb boun' to come;
An' ef it comes to runnin' t'ings I's willin' to retiah,
De Lawd'll min' de wintah an' my mammy'll min' de fiah.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Want i' want i', cyaa get i' an' get i' get i', no want i'.
If yu cyaa tek di heat, get out a di kitchen.
Take Your Life Off Pause
If you hesitate to bake it,
You or anyone will get to taste the cake.
Why is there a procrastination?
What is it you await to negotiate?
You will never know how that cake is rated.
Or even worthy of debate.
If you hestitate to bake it,
Pointless becomes the time wasted.
Take your life off pause,
Because you're seeking first to appease.
Take your life off pause,
Add to your life flavor.
Don't be afraid to dip into mystique.
Take your life off pause and bake it.
Take your life off pause and bake that cake.
Take your life off pause don't you fake it.
Take your life off pause don't wait too late.
Take your life off pause.
And...
Eliminate those tightened jaws.
You will never know how that cake is rated.
Or even worthy of debate.
If you hestitate to bake it,
Pointless is the time you waste.
Take your life off pause!
Bake and taste it.
And...
Take your life off pause.
Why negotiate?
Take your life off pause!
Bake and taste it.
And...
Take your life off pause.
Don't wait too late.
Take your life off pause!
Bake and taste it.
And...
Take your life off pause.
There is no need to debate.
Take your life off pause and bake it.
Take your life off pause and bake that cake.
Take your life off pause don't you fake it.
Take your life off pause don't wait too late.
Take your life off pause.
And...
Eliminate those tightened jaws.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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From Seats to Feet
A style that brings the people,
From seats to feet...
Is something that isn't easily done.
Especially if more than a few are pleased.
This is a skill of a master,
Unmasked.
And more than any other,
Who has crafted a task.
And it...
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
It takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
Yes it,
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
To whip a cake to taste takes more than a...
Shake and bake!
A style that brings the people,
From seats to feet...
Is something that isn't easily done.
This is a skill of a master,
Unmasked.
And more than any other,
Who has crafted a task.
And it...
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
It takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
Yes it,
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
To whip a cake to taste takes more than a...
Shake and bake!
No need to ask a master what is the task.
When people move from seats to feet,
They've been razz-a-ma-tazzed.
And it...
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
It takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
Yes it,
Takes a chef to know just how to bake a cake.
To whip a cake to taste takes more than a...
Shake and bake!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Little Christmas Basket
De win' is hollahin' 'Daih you' to de shuttahs an' de fiah,
De snow's a-sayin' 'Got you' to de groun',
Fu' de wintah weathah 's come widout a-askin' ouah desiah,
An' he 's laughin' in his sleeve at whut he foun';
Fu' dey ain't nobody ready wid dey fuel er dey food,
An' de money bag look timid lak, fu' sho',
So we want ouah Chrismus sermon, but we 'd lak it ef you could
Leave a little Chrismus basket at de do'.
Wha 's de use o' tellin' chillen 'bout a Santy er a Nick,
An' de sto'ies dat a body allus tol'?
When de harf is gray wid ashes an' you has n't got a stick
Fu' to warm dem when dey little toes is col'?
Wha 's de use o' preachin' 'ligion to a man dat's sta'ved to def,
An' a-tellin' him de Mastah will pu'vide?
Ef you want to tech his feelin's, save yo' sermons an' yo' bref,
Tek a little Chrismus basket by yo' side.
'T ain't de time to open Bibles an' to lock yo' cellah do',
'T ain't de time to talk o' bein' good to men;
Ef you want to preach a sermon ez you nevah preached befo',
Preach dat sermon wid a shoat er wid er hen;
Bein' good is heap sight bettah den a-dallyin' wid sin,
An' dey ain't nobody roun' dat knows it mo',
But I t'ink dat 'ligion 's sweeter w'en it kind o' mixes in
Wid a little Chrismus basket at de do'.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Making It Real
Making it real,
Is like a good meal...
One gets to taste.
In a moment that can not be replaced,
When making it real.
Makin it real,
And using all...
Ingredients.
Gives a joy as if this is heaven sent.
When making it real.
Making it real,
Is a feeling no one can ever rate.
And those exposed,
Will appreciate...
The taste of what is real.
Making it real...
Shake it up before you bake it.
And using all ingredients.
Shake it then you bake it.
Gives a joy,
As if heaven sent.
When making it real.
Shake it up before you bake it.
Making it real,
Is like a good meal...
One gets to taste.
In a moment that can not be replaced,
When making it real.
Making it real...
Shake it up before you bake it.
And using all ingredients.
Shake it then you bake it.
Gives a joy,
As if heaven sent.
When making it real.
Shake it up before you bake it.
When making it real.
Shake it up before you bake it.
When making it real.
Shake it up before you bake it.
When making it real.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If You Bake It
If you bake it...
So hard it is to then look for escapes.
To create.
If you bake it...
It is easier to face it than to fake.
What you have baked.
People know a flavor,
And the origin of scent...
If you bake it,
To create.
And if you bake it...
So hard it is to then look for escapes.
To create.
People know a flavor,
And the origin of scent...
If you bake it,
To create.
If you bake it...
It is easier to face it than to fake.
What you have baked.
If you bake it...
It doesn't make a difference if you're naked.
You can't even fake it,
If you're naked.
And if you baked it...
It doesn't make a difference if you're naked.
You can't even fake it,
If you're naked.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Its All About The Water
Sheila
Watah in de kitchen!
Church
Water in the bar!
Ensemble
Its all about da water, dont you know
Kinja needs da water, da h2o
Its all about da water, it aint no lie
Widout de water we shrivel up and die
Sheila
De main cistern go down to zero
De new bossman, he be a hero
Solve de problem, so give a cheer-o
He turn on de water!
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
Iris
I had my doubts about this new yorker
Thought hed just be a big talker
But as a bossman, hes a corker
He turned on the water
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
Paperman
Im new to kinja, I admit
But nothing heres gonna make me quit
This island dont scare me a bit
I turned on the water!
Ensemble
Its all about da water, dont you know
All about da water, da h2o
All about da water, it aint no lie
Widout da water we shrivel up and die!
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You nebber see kicking' cow widout kickin'calf.
Befo' darg go widout supper, him nyam cockroach.
American Made
Give me some antiseptic
To wash this headache away
Give me a syringe
To inject the pain
Give me something pretty I hope I'll never be
I'd rather be creepy and very strange
Give me a cake that I can mix and bake
In a Betty Crocker oven that I will break
Bake it up and we will
Stab Stab Stab
Come on
song performed by by Jack Off Jill from Sexless Demons And Scars
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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