Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream.
quote by W.S. Gilbert
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is not well for a man to pray cream and live skim milk.
It is not well for a man to pray cream and live skim milk.
quote by Henry Ward Beecher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Custard Creams
There's always time for a custard cream,
Taken at any point of the day;
With milk or tea,
There's always time for a custard cream,
Advice taken, or given,
Take a moment,
To share the delights
With coffee, or juice.
There's always time for a custard cream;
Share it,
Break it,
Dunk it!
There's always one more time
For that
Last custard cream.
© 2012
poem by Nick Strong
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hymn to the Dairymaids on Beacon Street
Sweetly solemn see them stand,
Spinning churns on either hand,
Neatly capped and aproned white
Airy fairy dairy sight.
Jersey priestesses they seem
Miracling milk to cream.
Cream solidifies to cheese
By Pasteural mysteries,
And they give, within their shrine,
Their communión in kine.
Incantations pure they mutter
O'er the golden minted butter
And (no layman hand can pen it)
See them gloat above their rennet.
By that hillside window pane
Rugged teamsters draw the rein.
Doff the battered hat and bow
To these acolytes of cow.
Genuflect, ye passersby!
Muse upon their ritual high-
Milk to cream, yea, cream to cheese
White lacteal mysteries!
Let adorers sing the word
Of the smoothly flowing curd.
Yea, we sing with bells and fife
This is the whey, this is the Life.
poem by Christopher Morley
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Dairy Ode
Our muse it doth refuse to sing
Of cheese made early in the spring,
When cows give milk from spring fodder
You cannot make a good cheddar.
The quality is often vile
Of cheese that is made in April,
Therefore we think for that reason
You should make later in the season.
Cheese making you should delay
Until about the first of May.
Then cows do feed on grassy field
And rich milk they abundant yield.
Ontario cannot compete
With the Northwest in raising wheat,
For cheaper there they it can grow
So price in future may be low.
Though this a hardship it may seem,
Rejoice that you have got the cream,
In this land of milk and honey,
Where dairy farmers do make money.
Utensils must be clean and sweet,
So cheese with first class can compete,
And daily polish up milk pans,
Take pains with vats and with milk cans.
And it is important matter
To allow no stagnant water,
But water from pure well or stream
The cow must drink to give pure cream.
Canadian breeds 'tis best to pair
With breeds from the shire of Ayr,
They thrive on our Canadian feed
And are for milking splendid breed.
Though 'gainst spring cheese some do mutter,
Yet spring milk also makes bad butter,
Then there doth arise the query
How to utilize it in the dairy.
The milk it floats in great spring flood
Though it is not so rich and good,
Let us be thankful for this stream
Of milk and also curds and cream.
All dairymen their highest aims
Should be to make the vale of Thames,
Where milk doth so abundant flow,
Dairyland of Ontario.
poem by James McIntyre
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you and I, and the cat
we shared a cup of coffee- you and I,
as the cat looked on.
you had two lumps of sugar, a shot of cream.
mine was black.
I thought to offer cream to the cat; he’d like that.
and then you smiled.
you peered across the rim of your upraised cup, taking a sip,
scrunching your face and smiling through the steam as it
rose from your milky, sweet coffee,
and I forgot about the cat.
he purred.
quickly, I put him outside,
knowing his familiar purr, a purr that soon
would escalate into a full-blown howl
that demanded my attention and some cream.
I wanted only to savor the contented sweetness of your face,
perfectly formed for my delight, but
you felt sorry for the cat.
I had been abrupt, insensitive.
“Why can’t the cat be allowed to purr, even to howl
“if he wants? ' you said.
“Why must the cat be refused a simple request for attention
“and a sip of milk? ”
alright then, I’ll let the cat back inside,
and give him some milk.
are you happy now?
no answer.
the coffee has grown tepid,
along with your smile.
I loathe that cat.
The Surrogate Lover
You were so cold like the dead,
Your love silent as the grave,
Masquarading as cream while skim
Seldom care and love you gave
Scheming deception and great innuendo
Belittled, but was not in desparado
Your eyes as pure as eldorado,
Yet evil as of puff adder,
Tortured and tormented, I made a choice
Rise and wave your hand Delilah,
Goodbye my old time liar,
Belittling me I never got higher
Upon my love, your breath was fire
Pack your things or I pack,
Tortured and tormented, I walked away
My hands I opened for a surrogate lover,
My arms widely stretched and welcoming,
You broke my heart and she mended it
Come along, my sweet surrogate lover
Lets fly with the birds of the air,
With me you shall never despair,
Hold my hand for history is gone
You are all I need, yes you are the one
Growing apart with you Delilah
Growing together, surrogate lover
poem by Gaylord Munemo
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I'm Leaving You
I'm leaving you, woman
Before i commit a crime
I'm leaving you, woman
Before i commit a crime
You tried so hard to kill me
But baby, it was not my time
You put poison in my coffee
Instead of milk or cream
You put poison in my coffee
Instead of milk or cream
You're the evilest woman
I think i've ever seen
You mix my drink
With a can of red devil lye
You mix my drink
With a can of red devil lye
Then you sit right down
Watch me, hoping i might die
song performed by by Kenny Wayne Shepherd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cream
This is it
Its time for u to go to the wire
U will hit
Cuz u got the burnin desire
Its your time (time)
U got the horn so why dont u blow it
U are fine (fine)
Ure filthy cute and baby u know it
Cream
Get on top
Cream
U will cop
Cream
Dont u stop
Cream
Sh-boogie bop
Ure so good
Baby there aint nobody better (aint nobody better)
So u should
Never, ever go by the letter (never ever)
Ure so cool (cool)
Everything u do is success
Make the rules (rules)
Then break them all cuz u are the best
Yes u are
Cream
Get on top
Cream
U will cop
Cream
Dont u stop
Cream
Sh-boogie bop
Look up in the air, its your guitar
Do your dance
Why should u wait any longer?
Take a chance
It could only make u stronger
Its your time (its your time)
U got the horn so why dont u blow it (go on and blow it)
Ure so fine (ure so fine)
Ure filthy cute and baby u know it (u know it)
Come on
Cream
Get on top
Cream
U will cop
Cream
Dont u ever stop
Cream
Sh-boogie bop
Cream
Cream
Cream
Sh-boogie bop
Cream
Cream
Right there
Cream
Dont u stop
Cream
Sh-boogie bop
Boogie
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Separate Beginnings
Everything separates-
Child from parent,
Husband from wife,
Ore from a mine,
Cream from milk,
Butter from cream,
Breath from my lungs.
A churning, changing, complex
Spin, apart, then back again.
The child has children,
Two hearts pair up in a damp Paris street
The earth pushes up the ground –
Too slow for us to see.
Another cow is lead into a stall,
And I inhale the precious essences
Of you, again.
poem by Charlotte Ballard
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Hey! Handsome waiter you resemble my younger deceased brother
Please do not call me Sir!
As the honourable Queen
has not granted me that pseudonym yet?
You're one of my brothers and you want to know
What I am going to order today?
When our skinny Mom feeds us
Do we inquire whether it's skim,
Whole or cream?
She gave us her nourishing breast milk
without a measuring cup?
To fight with these mesmerized souls
who wear saintly robes and hiding their devilish surnames!
Brother! Not to keep any regrets for this small coin
As it's not a tip but a keepsake!
And the Election is Tomorrow
Isn't it?
Mom always mutters; 'Without any hesitation
go straight and vote to someone
who could smile from his heart?
Anyway I'll be here tomorrow
with a different order,
A smiley Bullseye with toasted gingerbread
Creamcheese on the side of the plate
and a mug of black bitter coffee
that really gives the taste of Life!
*dedication to US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren who arrived at a rally at the Harvest Cafe in Hudson Friday afternoon.
nimal dunuhinga
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Who burned himself with hot milk blows on ice cream.
Lactose Intolerant
I lack the enzymes
To properly digest lactose
I cant drink cows milk
I cant drink milk from a goat
Yogurt, cottage cheese
Make me throw up
Please no cream in my cup
My stomach is swelling
I am lactose --- intolerant
My throat is constricting
I am lactose --- intolerant
song performed by by Cyndi Lauper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ice cream was my undoing, and six chocolate milk shakes in a row were nothing to me at one time.
quote by Kate Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Father Ranney, the Cheese Pioneer
When Father Ranney left the States,
In Canada to try the fates,
He settled down in Dereham,
Then no dairyman lived near him;
He was the first there to squeeze
His cow's milk into good cheese,
And at each Provincial show
His famed cheese was all the go.
Then long life to Father Ranney
May he wealth and honour gain aye.
He always took the first prize
Both for quality and size,
But many of his neighbors
Now profit by his labors,
And the ladies dress in silk
From the proceeds of the milk,
But those who buy their butter,
How dear it is, they mutter.
Then long life to Father Ranney
May he wealth and honour gain aye.
Now we close this glorious theme,
This song of curds and rich cream,
You can buy your hoops and screws,
And all supplies for dairy use,
Milk cans and vats, all things like these
In Ingersoll great mart for cheese,
Here buyers do congregate
And pay for cheese the highest rate.
So we call on you again aye,
To honor Father Ranney.
poem by James McIntyre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I love milk so much! I make a point of drinking a glass of milk every day. So now anyone who did those milk ads with the milk mustaches, they're my heroes.
quote by Natalie Portman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Miss A La Cream
Waiting is worth the while
Miss A La cream, a la cream
The lady of magnificent style
The woman of many a mans dream
A natural born striker
Every man in turn likes her
The queue up in flashy little cars
It doesn’t get them really any far
Miss A La cream, a la cream
The lady of posh self-esteem
At day, she’s in the sauna wrapped in towels
At day she’s at the hairdressers draped in jewels
At night, she can be found at many a brothel
But don’t you ever ask, what is a vowel?
But don’t you ever attempt to make her to spell
Natural yellow, gold and blonde
With an exquisite scent from beyond
A La cream, a la cream
She can pander a whole football team
Up in the mountains or down by the streams
When she walks the street with her heels
Mouths open, hearts relentlessly dream
Notwithstanding her heart is stronger than steel
That’s why she is Miss A la cream, A la cream
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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635 Milk The Elixir Of Life
MILK - One of God's preciuos gifts
For all who seek to live
Of all the food that passes lips
This has the most to give.
And when we from our Mothers feed
Her milk provides our every need.
The milk of cows and goats and sheep
Sustains us in our later life
An elixir before we sleep
It calms our nerves and eases strife
What is the secret of this stuff
Milkaholics just can't get enuff.
We know that milk is mostly water
There's almost eighty eight percent
There's protein - fat and carbohydrate
And calcium to give bones strength.
Drinka - Pinta - Milka - Day
It sure will help you on your way.
Full-fat milk makes ladies fertile
And it tastes much nicer too
Leave the skimmed milk for the slimmers
While you enjoy your creamy goo.
Jersey Milk has FIVE POINT THREE
Fresian much less - Oh dear me! ! !
Milk is a rich source of vitamins
A and D and E and K
Lactose gives our milk its sweetness
Drinka - Pinta - Milka - Day.
Drinking milk instead of coffee
Keeps you calm and much less stroppy.
Natural milk is prone to curdle
So we have to Pasteurise
Killing all the dee-dum-durdle
Homogenise and Sterilise.
When next in't Country - it's my vow
To drink my milk straight from the cow! ! !
Milk provides a range of products
Cream - Butter - Cheese and Yoghurt too
Without which life would be much poorer
No Camembert or Danish Blue.
When our palates we would please
We judge a country by its Cheese.
I'll sing the praise of English Cheeses
Cheddar - Cheshire - Wenslydale
Lancahire and Regal Stilton
From pastures lush in Leicester Vale.
Christmastime with Port & Stilton
In Terraced House or at the Hilton.
My 'Ode to Milk' is not complete
Without a mention of 'Best Butter'
'Farmhouse' from the pasture sweet
The taste? 'A Pastoral Ode by Rutter'.
And never let me utter words obscene
Unsaturated Fats and tatseless Margarine.
poem by John Knight
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Ice Cream Hair
My mom's hair is made of Chocolate Ice Cream.
My dad's hair is made of Mint Ice Cream.
My sister's hair is made of Vanilla Ice Cream.
My halve sister's hair is made of Strawberry Ice Cream.
My brother's hair is made of Coconut Ice Cream.
My halve brother's hair is made of Blue Berry Ice Cream.
My baby sister's hair is made of Banana Split Ice Cream.
What is my hair made out of?
All of the above,
and a hint of sprinkles; -) .
poem by Jasmine Aira
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