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Men Cleaning Women Cannot Abide
My wife said she was going out to shop,
I knew she'd be gone for hours,
So I cleaned the house from bottom to top,
Then went out and bought her some flowers.
On arriving home she asked what's that smell,
I boasted I had just cleaned the house,
With what she said it's like something from Hell,
It stinks like a hundred dead grouse.
By doing the cleaning I thought you'd be flattered,
She said exactly what have you cleaned,
That really left my giant ego shattered,
How dare she leave me feeling demeaned?
The house is filthy what did you use,
I replied the same stuff as you,
She said it's my intelligence you're trying to abuse,
I'll now have to start cleaning anew.
What have you done to my kitchen floor?
You've got it full of stellar streaks,
The worktops are scratched like an old barn door,
My mop bucket's now full of leaks.
The toilet is filthy I said no it's not,
She said look at the state of the pan,
You've left enough stains to play dot to dot,
As for cleaning you're now on a ban.
She'll be so impressed she'll be singing,
That's what I honestly thought,
Now she's saying I've got the house minging,
Remember good cleaners cannot be bought.
I walked away totally deluded and sad,
It's moan if we don't then moan if we do,
If they had a self- cleaning house they'd still go mad,
I'm going down to the pub for a brew.
The moral of my story affects far more than me,
It's a problem that is truly worldwide,
It's a sexist thing I'm sure all males would agree,
‘' Men Cleaning, Women Cannot Abide ‘'
‘' They think we do it deliberately''
Cleaning House
I have this relationship
with cleaning my house
meticulously
everyday;
work
that is never done.
I have this relationship
with cleaning my house
which is poorly
understood.
All around seem oblivious
to the work
involved
in this home environment
and like despoilers-
clothes get strewn
and dishes left-
for the cleaner of the house;
because I,
unlike them,
can't bear to see my self esteem
cluttered like that
every day
with dirt and dust.
I then take the cloth
and clean what is precious to me.
.
I have this relationship with my house
which even in this,
my family
is poorly understood.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ill fated motherhood! -Haikkoo
Stuffed calf
Cow licks with tears
Ill fated motherhood!
Rent arrears
Spider evicted
Cobweb cleaning!
Books in the loft
Stomach is full
Well bloated rat!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sweeping The Ashes
I am sweeping the ashes from my fireplace today
Because today is cleaning day at my house
And I want to have a clean house for the weekend also
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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House To Rent
This house to rent, was plain the sign
A structure built for man
But God’s prepared a place divine
Before my life began
A house beyond man’s wildest dream
Garden beyond compare
Where water from a living stream
Births endless fruit to share
Yet this from God is no reward
But gift to house a king
Purchased through blood of Christ my Lord
Who’s endless praise I’ll sing
Yet rent a house, I must a while
Although it may sound dumb
Still deep inside I can but smile
For that which soon will come
A promise few can understand
A mansion to endure
But those who’ll dwell The promised Land
Will verify it sure
God’s real-estate is purpose built
Eternally to stay
Unlike as this we build on silt
That sure to fall one day
Eternity draws ever nigh
This house I’ll soon vacate
But till Christ’s cloud fills up the sky
Who knows how long I’ll wait
Within this rented house on sand
Behind it’s wooden door
Through faith prepared through love I’ll stand
Awaiting Christ once more
poem by Michael P. Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. If not, when I come home, I can't find anything. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out.
quote by Celia Cruz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I can't write if someone else is in the house, not even the cleaning woman.
quote by Patricia Highsmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rent, Groceries And Gasoline
I used to live the luxury life
A new house, three cars to drive
Steppin' over the credit line
I was payin' a heavy price
It seemed more was never enough
So I called my creditor up
Said "All I need is that cadillac car,
I'm heading for a brand new start"
I was in way to deep
Straightened out my priorities
I'm a man of simple needs
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
I got a trailer sturdy and cheap
Hot time, job work when I please
Goin' to Mexico next week
Gotta feel that ocean breeze
I might settle down sometime
Right now, it ain't on my mind
Got a pretty girl along for the ride
She's the adventurous kind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
I'm a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Got a full tank and some food to go
Check the map and we'll hit the road
In the flicker of the dashboard lights
I feel my life unwind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
I'm a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Rent, groceries, and gasoline
I need rent, groceries, and gasoline
Just give me rent, groceries, and gasoline
And I'm outta here!
song performed by by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Artist Only
I'm painting, I'm painting again.
I'm painting, I'm painting again.
I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning again.
I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning my brain.
Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
Pretty soon now, will be a quitter.
Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
You can't see it 'til it's finished
I don't have to prove...that I am creative!
I dont' have to prove...that I am creative!
All my pictures are confused
And now I'm going to take me to you
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rent, Groceries, & Gasoline
I used to live the luxury life
A new house, three cars to drive
Steppin over the credit line
I was payin a heavy price
It seemed more was never enough
So I called my creditor up
Said all I need is that cadillac car,
Im heading for a brand new start
I was in way to deep
Straightened out my priorities
Im a man of simple needs
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
I got a trailer sturdy and cheap
Hot time, job work when I please
Goin to mexico next week
Gotta feel that ocean breeze
I might settle down sometime
Right now, it aint on my mind
Got a pretty girl along for the ride
Shes the adventurous kind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
Im a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Got a full tank and some food to go
Check the map and well hit the road
In the flicker of the dashboard lights
I feel my life unwind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
Im a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Rent, groceries, and gasoline
I need rent, groceries, and gasoline
Just give me rent, groceries, and gasoline
And Im outta here!
song performed by by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There we times when everybody in the house has the flu. You're cleaning up vomit and it's 2 in the morning, and you're wishing there was somebody else there to help you.
Every summer, my grandparents would rent a house on Balboa Island. They had the house next to Bob Hope's. I've been going down there all my life, to that whole area.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
quote by Phyllis Diller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Comparison
A bird can live anywhere.
It doesn't worry about rent.
Finds a tree. Picks one out.
Never feels that its without.
A man can't live anywhere
and worries about his rent.
Finds a house. Picks one out.
Loses his job and is left to shout
Now what?
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Artists Only
Im painting, Im painting again.
Im painting, Im painting again.
Im cleaning, Im cleaning again.
Im cleaning, Im cleaning my brain.
Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
Pretty soon now, will be a quitter.
Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
You cant see it til its finished
I dont have to prove...that I am creative!
I dont have to prove...that I am creative!
All my pictures are confused
And now Im going to take me to you.
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have sporadic OCD cleaning moments around the house. But then I get lazy and I'm cured. It's a very inconsistent personality trait.
quote by Chris Hemsworth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rent
(again... again... again... ooooh
(again... again... again... again... ...)
You dress me up, Im your puppet
You buy me things, I love it
You bring me food, I need it
You give me love, I feed it
And look at the two of us in sympathy
With everything we see
I never want anything, its easy
You buy whatever I need
But look at my hopes, look at my dreams
The currency weve spent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
You phone me in the evening on hearsay
And bought me caviar
You took me to a restaurant off broadway
To tell me who you are
We never-ever argue, we never calculate
The currency weve spent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
Im your puppet
I love it
And look at the two of us in sympathy
And sometimes ecstasy
Words mean so little, and money less
When youre lying next to me
But look at my hopes, look at my dreams
The currency weve spent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, you pay my rent
(ooooh) ooh, I love you, you pay my rent
Look at my hopes, look at my dreams
The currency weve spent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, you pay my rent
Look at my hopes, look at my dreams
The currency weve spent
(ooooh) I love you, oh, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, you pay my rent
(ooooh) I love you, you pay my rent (its easy, its so easy)
(ooooh) you pay my rent (its easy, its so easy)
(ooooh) you pay my rent (its easy, its so easy)
(ooooh) I love you (its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
(its easy, its so easy)
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tenants
I rented my house
To some tenants, chosen in series,
Who still live in my memories.
On rent in some other houses
Too, they could have lived
And stayed in those owners’ memories.
No chance for me to re-rent to them,
No chance for them to reenter mine,
With blocked communications
And choked emotions,
Each departs from the world,
Intimacy living in fantasy.
10.06.2000, Palakkad
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Disease is the tax which the soul pays for the body, as the tenant pays house-rent for the use of the house.
quote by Ramakrishna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well, PT Anderson sent me a script of Boogie Nights which I let lay around my house for about three months, then one day I'm cleaning my office and decided that I'd better read this before the guy calls me back. I never put it down, bro.
quote by Luis Guzman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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