I am going to Spain to fight an army without a general, and thence to the East to fight a general without an army.
quote by Julius Caesar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Generals
Said General Clay to General Gore,
'Oh must we fight this silly war?
To kill and die is such a bore.'
'I quite agree,' said General Gore.
Said General Gore to General Clay,
'We could go to the beach today
And have some ice cream on the way.'
'A grand idea,' said General Clay.
Said General Gore to General Clay,
'But what if the sea is closed today?
And what if the sand's been blown away?'
'A dreadful thought,' said General Clay.
Said General Gore to General Clay,
'I've always feared the ocean's spray,
And we may drown!' 'It's true, we may.
It chills my blood,' said General Clay.
Said General Clay to General Gore,
'My bathing suit is slightly tore.
We'd better go on with our war.'
'I quite agree,' said General Gore.
Then General Clay charged General Gore
As bullets flew and cannons roared.
And now, alas! there is no more
Of General Clay or General Gore.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Peace Proposal
Said General Clay to General Gore really must we fight this silly war
To kill and die in such a bore I quite agree said General Gore
Said General Gore to General Clay we could go to the beach today
And have some icecream on the way a grand idea said General Clay
Said General Clay to General Gore we'll build sand castles on the shore
Said General Gore we'll splash and play let's leave right now said General Clay
Said General Gore to General Clay but what if the sea's closed today
And what if the sand's been blown away the dreadful thought said General Clay
Said General Gore to General Clay I've always feared the ocean's spray
And we may drown it's true we may it chills my blood said General Clay
Said General Clay to General Gore my bathin' suit is slightly tore
We better go on with our war I quite agree said General Gore
The General Clay chanrged General Gore as bullets flew and cannons roared
And now at last there is no more of General Clay or General Gore
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Right in Front of the Army
"Where 'ave you been this week or more,
'Aven't seen you about the war'?
Thought perhaps you was at the rear
Guarding the waggons." "What, us? No fear!
Where have we been? Why, bless my heart,
Where have we been since the bloomin' start?
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army
Teaching 'em how to fight!"
Every separate man you see,
Sapper, gunner, and C.I.V.,
Every one of 'em seems to be
Right in front of the army!
Most of the troops to the camp had gone,
When we met with a cow-gun toiling on;
And we said to the boys, as they walked her past,
"Well, thank goodness, you're here at last!"
"Here at last! Why, what d'yer mean?
Ain't we just where we've always been?
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army,
Teaching'em bow to fight!"
Correspondents and Vets in force,
Mounted foot and dismounted horse,
All of them were, as a matter of course,
Right in the front of the army.
Old Lord Roberts will have to mind
If ever the enemy get behind;
For they'll smash him up with a rear attack,
Because his army has got no back!
Think of the horrors that might befall
An army without any rear at all!
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army,
Teaching 'em how to fight!
Swede attaches and German counts,
Yeomen (known as De Wet's Remounts),
All of them were, by their own accounts,
Right in the front of the army!
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Fight Fe Come In (James Bon & General CP)
What a bam bam round the mike m.c.
What a bam bam round the mike m.c.
James Bond back up general CP
We ram dance hall cork house party
People come from all about just fe hear we
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
As me open the door me get a face full of steam
Session ram like a tin a sardine
Just make sure seh you kerchief clean
Else you face would a full up a green
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
As me go through the crowd Jah man me hear a scream
Me I dren freddy him still a day dream
Me dip up and down like a submarine
Twice as fast as the one Barry Sheene
A good job me pants have a solid seam
A good job me kercheif nice and clean
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Some a them a scream some a them a shout
Me really want you know people come from all about
Some a them a woman
Some of them a man
The whole a them want come this ya session
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Natty fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Natty dread in a the dance him a bun him collie
Baby mother deh a dance with pregnant belly
Bad boy deh a road him a fire remi
Dutty nigger deh a road them a chat shegri
But its I James Bond telling every body
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them want inside inside and no one want outside outside
Me seh the people outside want come in the session
Them want to hear James Bond and CP the general
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
song performed by by Ub40
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fight Fe Come In
What a bam bam round the mike m.c.
What a bam bam round the mike m.c.
James Bond back up general CP
We ram dance hall cork house party
People come from all about just fe hear we
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
As me open the door me get a face full of steam
Session ram like a tin a sardine
Just make sure seh you kerchief clean
Else you face would a full up a green
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
As me go through the crowd Jah man me hear a scream
Me I dren freddy him still a day dream
Me dip up and down like a submarine
Twice as fast as the one Barry Sheene
A good job me pants have a solid seam
A good job me kercheif nice and clean
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Some a them a scream some a them a shout
Me really want you know people come from all about
Some a them a woman
Some of them a man
The whole a them want come this ya session
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Natty fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Natty dread in a the dance him a bun him collie
Baby mother deh a dance with pregnant belly
Bad boy deh a road him a fire remi
Dutty nigger deh a road them a chat shegri
But its I James Bond telling every body
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
What a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them want inside inside and no one want outside outside
Me seh the people outside want come in the session
Them want to hear James Bond and CP the general
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
Them just a fight fe come in
Fight fe come in
song performed by by UB40 from Baggariddim
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mrs. Ward
On friday afternoon at three o'clock
A passing lady looked into a shop
Her eyes lit up as this the sign she read
Recruiting office, that is what it said
Exacitedly she stepped inside to see
How her sons would fair if they were militry
The man in charge to her was very sweet
And said, "please sign here on this little sheet"
But when she got home her mind grew many fears
The message from the soldiers in the war rang in her ears
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
At six o'clock the lads came home from work
She told them what she'd done, they went beserk
We'll have to go to war and fight and die
And mrs. ward she wiped a tear from her eye
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Grafted Into the Army
Our Jimmy has gone for to live in a tent,
they have grafted him into the Army,
he finally puckered up courage and went,
when they grafted him into the Army.
I told them the child was too young, alas!
At the captains forequarters, they said he would pass,
they'd train him up well in the Infantry class,
so they grafted him into the Army.
Oh, Jimmy, farewell! Your brothers fell way down in Alabammy;
I though they would spare a lone widder's heir,
but they grafted him into the Army.
Dressed up in his unicorn, dear little chap,
they have grafted him into the Army;
it seems but a day since he sot in my lap,
but they grafted him into the Army.
And these are the trousies he used to wear,
them very same buttons, the patch and the tear;
but Uncle Sam gave him a bran' new pair
when they grafted him into the Army.
Now in my provisions I see him revealed,
they have grafted him into the Army;
a picket beside the contented field,
they have grafted him into the Army.
He looks kinder sickish -- begins to cry,
a big volunteer standing right in his eye!
Oh, what if the ducky should up and die,
now they've grafted him into the Army.
poem by Henry Clay Work
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Lets Go
Dont wanna study on the g.i. bill.
Want more action, havent had my fill mercenary,
Fight for anyone, fight for money, fight for fun.
Lets go.
Got a country you wanna protect.
But your army is more likely to defect.
Hire my smg with a full clip.
On automatic its a guaranteed hit.
Lets go.
Gee its kinda scary out here.
Mosquitos are happy tonight.
Mommy, daddy, can I please come home.
Even if just for on night.
Lets go.
Shocked how deadly we fight back.
Troublemakers who attack mercenary.
Fight for anyone, fight for money, fight for fun.
Lets go.
song performed by by Ramones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Will Help and Fight
As we are the Army of the Lord, so shall we fight,
I will help and fight and bring as many as we can to see the light.
As women in the street go and weep,
I will help and fight to give them a place to sleep.
And as the little children go hungry and cold,
I will help and fight to give them a chance with any problem that may unfold.
While that homeless drunkard is left out on the street,
I will help and fight for them until they make Satan want to retreat.
As there are men and women that go to prison in and out and back to in and out.
I will help and fight to give them a chance to win this bout.
.
poem by Frank Pulver
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What General Has A Good Army
WHAT General has a good army in himself, has a good army;
He happy in himself, or she happy in herself, is happy,
But I tell you you cannot be happy by others, any more than you can
beget or conceive a child by others.
poem by Walt Whitman
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Even the largest army is nothing without a good general.
The Leader That Was Pushed
Once on a time a general whose name is handed down
To the present generation as a name of high renown
Once on a time this general - I trust you understand
This happened years and years ago, and in a foreign land.
This general once stood before his army, thinking hard;
And he talked about advancing, but he didn't move a yard,
For, to put the matter plainly, though he knew his cause was right,
And desired to be the leader, yet he didn't want to fight.
He bravely talked for hours and hours of tactics and defence
(In good sooth, he was a leader of undoubted eloquence)
Till his soldiers grew impatient, for they spied afar the foe,
So they started marching forward, and the leader had to go,
Though he begged for time to elocute, they forced him to a walk;
Then they broke into a double, and he hadn't breath to talk.
If his soldiers start to push him - well, that can a leader do?
Thus he led his army forward - of necessity, 'tis true.
Oh, they forced him to a run,
And the firing of a gun
Gave him qualms about the business, but he couldn't change his mind.
He'd have dearly loved to pause
And orate about The Cause,
But he had to keep responding to the pressure from behind.
Then he yelled a battle-cry,
And he waved his sword on high,
But he mournfully reflected as he viewed the foemen's horde:
Leadership may be all right
While the foe is out of sight,
But, like the pen, the silver tongue is safer than the sword.
The fight was won. That general, his heart swelled up with pride,
Delivered speeches eloquent to his victorious side;
And the peroration hinted they should rest while they'd the chance;
But the army wanted more of it and urged him to advance.
'Twas here the general resigned to join another band
That didn't yearn to go and fight the battles of the land.
'Twas a calm, reposeful army, and that leader suited well;
For it let him talk of fighting while it sat and took a spell.
He was leader of the tired,
And he never was required
To go ranging o'er the country to attack a savage foe;
And whene'er he thought it best
To sit down and take a rest,
Well - it's rude to push a leader when he doesn't want to go.
And, if by some mischance,
He should mention an advance,
They would let him talk about it and applaud him very hard;
They would hail him as the man
Who by right was in the van;
But they'd grab him by the coat-tails if he sought to move a yard.
Give attention now, my masters, to this general's career;
He was affable and eloquent, but let me mention here
This happened very long since - twenty thousand years or so;
For now, we know, a leader leads before he's forced to go.
But if, perchance, at any time, a leader you should find
Who objects to moving onward till he gets a push behind,
Far better shift him from the front; his place is never here;
And let him join the other crowd - the Army of the Rear.
Let us have a moving army, let its leader be a man
Who doesn't need a shove behind to keep him in the van;
And if he halts to elocute, let's shift him off the track,
And put him 'mid the baggage-carts and lumber at the back.
There to seek a reputation with the busted and the bushed:
For no man may seek for Honor who insists on being pushed.
And he who seeks to lead must keep ahead a yard or so,
For - it's rude to push a leader when he doesn't want to go.
For a leader of the kind
Who requires a kick behind
Isn't any sort of leader, when you come to think of it;
And the generals we need
Are the fellows who CAN lead
The men who know the track to go, and tackle it with grit.
Wherefore, when you hear the talk
Of these fellows who would baulk,
While they flood the land with eloquence till mentally you're bushed.
Just remember, words and air
Seldom lead to anywhere,
And reflect upon the story of the leader that was pushed
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Arabs Please Pay Heed Feb 24th,2011
The Arabs have a choice: accept the next dictator or change,
Usually a general from the army, who then becomes deranged,
No matter who he/she is, they should be there no more than four years,
Because after that they go power mad or so it appears.
Someone has to sit down and write a constitution for all,
Go to Switzerland, read their’s because they are on the ball,
You have to elect a president by name – not party or rank,
And not someone standing on top of a big orange army tank.
Then put the constitution to the people for a yes or no,
Your first referendum with luck and several more to go,
Getting rid of a dictator is one but starting up is two,
You follow my instructions though everything is new.
FEB 24TH,2011
poem by James Bredin
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Just After The War
O! I am a conscript
O! how I do wish
That I had stayed away up North
And kept out of the 'milish.'
I have just gone through the draft,
And now have a 'posish;'
By 'General Orders No. 54'
I belong to the 'milish.'
I often thought I'd volunteer
And run for a 'comish,'
But as I failed to do it
I now belong to the 'milish.'
Here is refugees, deserters, and speculators,
All mixed up in this dish;
They put us all in together
And call us the 'milish.'
Now, come, all ye 'army sharks,'
'Bblood suckers,' and other 'army fish,'
Don't you think it served us right
To put us in the 'milish'?
Vicksburg, December 16, 1864
poem by Anonymous Americas
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It is only the enlightened ruler and the wise general who will use the highest intelligence of the army for the purposes of spying, and thereby they achieve great results.
The Stevedores
We are the army stevedores, lusty and virile and strong,
We are given the hardest work of the war, and the hours are long.
We handle the heavy boxes, and shovel the dirty coal;
While soldiers and sailors work in the light, we burrow below like a mole.
But somebody has to do this work, or the soldiers could not fight!
And whatever work is given a man, is good if he does it right.
We are the army stevedores, and we are volunteers.
We did not wait for the draft to come, to put aside our fears;
We flung them away on the winds of fate, at the very first call of our land,
And each of us offered a willing heart and the strength of a brawny hand.
We are the army stevedores, and work as we must and may,
The cross of honour will never be ours to proudly wear away.
But the men at the Front could never be there,
And the battles could not be won,
If the stevedores stopped in their dull routine
And left their work undone.
Somebody has to do this work, be glad that it isn't you!
We are the army stevedores-give us our due!
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Fight
Sometimes there's nothing to feel
Sometimes there's nothing to hold
Sometimes there's no time to run away
Sometimes you just feel so old
The times it hurts when you cry
The times it hurts just to breathe
And then it all seems like there's no-one left
And all you want is to sleep
Fight fight fight
Just push it away
Fight fight fight
Just push until it breaks
Fight fight fight
Don't cry at the pain
Fight fight fight
Or watch yourself burn again
Fight fight fight
Don't howl like a dog
Fight fight
Just fill up the sky
Fight fight fight
Fight til you drop
Fight fight fight
And never never
Never stop
Fight fight fight
Fight fight fight
So when the hurting starts
And when the nightmares begin
Remember you can fill up the sky
You don't have to give in
You don't have to give in
Never give in
Never give in
Never give in
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Battle of Corunna
'Twas in the year of 1808, and in the autumn of the year,
Napoleon resolved to crush Spain and Portugal without fear;
So with a mighty army three hundred thousand strong
Through the passes of the Pyrenees into spain he passed along.
But Sir John Moore concentrated his troops in the north,
And into the west corner of Spain he boldly marched forth;
To cut off Napoleon's communications with France
He considered it to be advisable and his only chance.
And when Napoleon heard of Moore's coming, his march he did begin,
Declaring that he was the only General that could oppose him;
And in the month of December, when the hills were clad with snow,
Napoleon's army marched over the Guadiana Hills with their hearts full of woe.
And with fifty thousand cavalry, infantry, and artillery,
Napoleon marched on, facing obstacles most dismal to see;
And performed one of the most rapid marches recorded in history,
Leaving the command of his army to Generals Soult and Ney.
And on the 5th of January Soult made his attack,
But in a very short time the French were driven back;
With the Guards and the 50th Regiment and the 42d conjoint,
They were driven from the village of Elnina at the bayonet's point.
Oh! It was a most gorgeous and inspiring sight
To see Sir John Moore in the thickest of the fight,
And crying aloud to the 42d with all his might,
"Forward, my lads, and charge them with your bayonets left and right."
Then the 42d charged them with might and main,
And the French were repulsed again and again;
And although they poured into the British ranks a withering fire,
The British at the charge of the bayonet soon made them retire.
Oh! That battlefield was a fearful sight to behold,
'Twas enough to make one's blood run cold
To hear the crack, crack of the musketry and the cannon's roar,
Whilst the dead and the dying lay weltering in their gore.
But O Heaven! It was a heartrending sight,
When Sir John Moore was shot dead in the thickest of the fight;
And as the soldiers bore him from the field they looked woebegone,
And the hero's last words were "Let me see how the battle goes on."
Then he breathed his last with a gurgling sound,
And for the loss of the great hero the soldier's sorrow was profound,
Because he was always kind and served them well,
And as they thought of him tears down their cheeks trickling fell.
Oh! it was a weird and pathetic sight
As they buried him in the Citadel of Corunna at the dead of night,
While his staff and the men shed many tears
For the noble hero who had commanded them for many years.
Success to the British Army wherever they go,
For seldom they have failed to conquer the foe;
Long may the highlanders be able to make the foe reel,
By giving them an inch or two of cold steel.
poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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On the evening of December 25, General Washington in a most severe season crossed the Delaware with a part of his army, then reduced to less than 2000 men in the whole.
quote by Mercy Otis Warren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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