Chasing Madoff
Frank Casey, Neil Chelo, Gaytri Kachroo, Bernie Madoff, Harry Markopolos, Michael Ocrant,
by Jeff Prosserman from Chasing Madoff (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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A tribute to Philip Levine. For Hanque
Tenderness. It was forty-seven years ago
and Bernie Strempek and I were in this bar
in downtown Detroit watching this
beautiful second-rate jazz singer
and Bernie started to talk
about tenderness.
His father had abandoned this family of four
and so his mother worked nights
at Ford Rouge and she knew
Bernie wanted to become a poet
and she totally supported that.
Bernie was a guy of amazing smarts
who seemed almost too gentle
and delicate for this world
in which he did not long remain.
I didn’t know the word tenderness
but when Bernie talked of it
I thought wow, I could use some of that.
*
[From his conversations]
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Max Wall
Spike milligan, peter sellers, michael bentine, harry secombe,
Arthur askey, tommy cooper, norman wisdom, frankie howerd,
Norman vaughan, dave allen,
Max wall, max wall, max wall, max wall
John cleese, terry gilliam, michael palin, graham chapman,
Eric idle, ministry of silly walks, benny hill,
Max wall, max wall, max wall, max wall
Steve davis, alex higgins (gf), jimmy white, terry griffith (gf),
Brian odgers, dave early, bernie holland, richie buckley,
Max wall, max wall, max wall, max wall
Spike milligan, michael bentine, peter sellers, harry secombe,
Harry worth, frankie howerd, norman wisdom, tommy cooper,
Just like that!, benny hill,
Max wall, max wall, max wall, max wall
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry Rag
Ah, tom is young and tom is bold
Tom is as bold as the knights of old
But whenever he gets in a bit of a jam
Theres nothing he wont do to get a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And he curses himself for the life hes led
And rolls himself a harry rag and puts himself to bed
Ah, toms old ma is a dying lass
Soon they all reckon shell be pushing up the grass
And her bones might ache and her skin might sag
But still shes got the strength to have a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And she curses herself for the life shes led
And rolls herself a harry rag and puts herself to bed
Ah, bless you tax man, bless you all
You may take some but you never take it all
But if I give it all, I wont feel sad
As long as I got enough to buy a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
Ah, the smart young ladies of the land
Cant relax without a harry in their hand
And they light one and they boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And theyll light one and theyll boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Ill do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry Rag
Ah, tom is young and tom is bold
Tom is as bold as the knights of old
But whenever he gets in a bit of a jam
Theres nothing he wont do to get a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And he curses himself for the life hes led
And rolls himself a harry rag and puts himself to bed
Ah, toms old ma is a dying lass
Soon they all reckon shell be pushing up the grass
And her bones might ache and her skin might sag
But still shes got the strength to have a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And she curses herself for the life shes led
And rolls herself a harry rag and puts herself to bed
Ah, bless you tax man, bless you all
You may take some but you never take it all
But if I give it all, I wont feel sad
As long as I got enough to buy a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
Ah, the smart young ladies of the land
Cant relax without a harry in their hand
And they light one and they boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Do anything just to get a harry rag
And theyll light one and theyll boast and brag
So content because they got a harry rag
Harry rag, harry rag
Ill do anything just to get a harry rag
And I curse myself for the life Ive led
And roll myself a harry rag and put myself to bed
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The future of Social Security?
“The trust fund, Men, is nearly spent.
The well is running dry”
“What will we tell the peasants
who expect pie in the sky? ”
“We must find a hero
to restore tranquility-
“Someone who’s a flim flam man
to the nth degree.”
With Obama much too busy
to calm the masses now.
They bailed Bernie Madoff out
to milk the sacred cow.
The checks went out as usual
Folks took them to the bank.
By noon the checks began to bounce
which made the markets tank.
Riots and disturbances-
Grey Panthers roam the streets.
While somewhere Charlie Ponzi smiles
Secure in his conceit..
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Harry the Wu
What can I do, Harry the Wu,
A policeman will come
And ask questions of you,
He'll pull out his book
And his pencil, too,
And look very sternly
At Harry the Wu.
Oh, Harry the Wu, what did you do,
While I was in bed
Going down with the flu,
I didn't get up until
Half past two,
And you're so impatient,
Harry the Wu.
I knew there was something that
I had to do,
I had to get up and feed
Harry the Wu,
That bowl in the fridge of
The left-over stew
Was meant for your dinner,
Harry the Wu.
Oh what can I do, Harry the Wu,
They'll probably lock you
Away in the zoo,
And then you will miss me
And I'll miss you too,
Life is a tragedy,
Harry the Wu.
I thought that you knew,
Harry the Wu,
That there are some things
You are not meant to do,
Now all that is left is
The Postman's shoe,
His hat and his bag
You have eaten them too.
What can I do, Harry the Wu,
You've ripped off the policeman's
Trousers, too,
You'd better go hide in
The chimney flu,
Stop wagging your tail at me
Harry the Wu.
13 April 2009
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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150 Years
One hundred fifty years for Madoff
are surely an untimely trade-off
for billions that he ripped off traders,
abetted by his trading aiders
like Ezra Merkin, for example,
whose clients used to love to sample
the high returns they would earn,
invested Ponzily by Bern,
whom they believed to be a wizard
before their money in a blizzard
blew away without a trace
in the Wall Street marketplace.
Measuring his measured time,
those who’ve suffered from his crime
will find that such revenge is not
as sweet as they might hope. No knot
is tied around his neck, though they
might hope there would be one. Each day
that he survives they feel the pain
of loss from their aborted gain,
but money won’t come back again
despite their punitive disdain,
so prison has to be the trade-off
for fortunes they all lost to Madoff.
Lock him up and throw away
the key, vindictive people say,
as if the freedom they deprive
him of will help them to survive,
though barring of the prison gate
will in no way redeem their fate.
Serving at the haughty pleasure
of a judge is no fair measure
for measure. Custody vendettas
transform the judges to abettors
of the worst hubristic crime:
purloining, like death’s angel, time,
so prisoners are forced to dwell
outside the real world, in a cell.
Life sentences that judges give
are proof that they’ve failed to forgive
the trespasses of other men
as God will ours, we hope. Amen.
Inspired by the Judge Denny Chin’s sentence of Bernie Madoff to 150 years for having committed what was perhaps the largest Ponzi scheme in history. Judge Chin, a Princeton graduate who was born in Hong Kong, and appointed to the bench by President Clinton, says that he received a hundred letters recommending that Madoff be severely punished, and not a single letter arguing for clemency. Such unanimity invalidates a capital case, according to Jewish law, where a death sentence may not be fulfilled unless some judges dissent with the verdict.
While I wrote this poem, my genius granddaughter Ada, who is considered to be less a genius than her sister Eve, presumably because she is a poet and the world despises poets, wrote her first poem, which she called “Heart and Flowerbed”.
6/30/09
poem by Gershon Hepner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anything You Can Do
ANNIE: Anything you can do I can do better
......I can do anything better than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can be I can be greater
......Sooner or later I'm greater than you
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am, yes I am
FRANK: I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge
ANNIE: I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow
FRANK: I can live on bread and cheese
ANNIE: And only on that?
FRANK: Yes
ANNIE: So can a rat
FRANK: Any note you can reach I can go higher
ANNIE: I can sing anything higher than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
ANNIE: Anything you can buy I can buy cheaper
......I can buy anything cheaper than you
FRANK: Fifty cents
ANNIE: Forty cents
FRANK: Thirty cents
ANNIE: Twenty cents
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can say I can say softer
ANNIE: I can say anything softer than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
ANNIE: I can do it quicker and get even sicker
FRANK: I can open any safe
ANNIE: Without being caught?
FRANK: Sure
ANNIE: That's what I thought (you crook)
FRANK: Any note you can hold I can hold longer
ANNIE: I can hold any note longer than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't - yes, you can
ANNIE: Anything you can wear I can wear better
......In what you wear I'd look better than you
FRANK: In my coat
ANNIE: In your vest
FRANK: In my shoes
ANNIE: In your hat
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can say I can say faster
ANNIE: I can say anything faster than you
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: I can jump a hurdle
ANNIE: I can wear a girdle
FRANK: I can knit a sweater
ANNIE: I can fill it better
FRANK: I can do most anything
ANNIE: Can you bake a pie?
FRANK: No
ANNIE: Neither can I
FRANK: Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter
ANNIE: I can sing anything sweeter than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Oh, yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't, can't, can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, can, can, can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
song performed by by Irving Berlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harry
you must be smellin' cherries and strawberries and peaches
and plums
roses and dandelions
special lovin' on the nite I spent with you
it was the best that I've had lately
but it didn't mean anything
and I will be glad when you stop callin' me
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
come and see me harry
swore my ever lasting true love to you
said that I need ya I want ya didn't I baby
but I was just kiddin' 'round
and I will be glad when you stop callin' my house
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
come and see me harry
it's a shame harry
cause you such a beautiful thing harry
you tell em that you love and I bet you do
but love's not my thing right now harry
all I wanna do is swing
and when you're ready
I'm here for you
please harry
stop callin' me
harry
don't wanna be your girlfriend
but boy when you want the lovin'
feel free to come and see me harry
song performed by by Macy Gray from The ID
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wittgenstein, Elizabeth Taylor, Bertrand Russell, Thomas Merton, Yogi Berra, Allen Ginsberg, Harry Wolfson, Thoreau, Casey Stengel, The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Picasso, Moses, Einstein, Hugh Hefner, Socrates, Henry Ford, Lenny Bruce, Baba Ram Dass, Gandhi, Sir Edmund Hillary, Raymond Lubitz, Buddha, Frank Sinatra, Columbus, Freud, Norman Mailer, Ayn Rand, Baron Rothschild, Ted Williams, Thomas Edison, H.L. Mencken, Thomas Jefferson, Ralph Ellison, Bobby Fischer, Emma Goldman, Peter Kropotkin, you, and your parents. Is there really one kind of life which is best for each of these people?
quote by Robert Nozick
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Caseys Last Ride
Casey joins the hollow sound of silent people walking down
The stairway to the subway in the shadows down below;
Following their footsteps through the neon-darkened corridors
Of silent desperation, never speakin to a soul.
The poison air hes breathin has the dirty smell of dying
cause its never seen the sunshine and its never felt the rain.
But casey minds the arrows and ignores the fatal echoes
Of the clickin of the turnstiles and the rattle of his chains.
Oh! she said, casey its been so long since Ive seen you!
Here she said, just a kiss to make a body smile!
See she said, Ive put on new stockings just to please you!
Lord! she said, casey can you only stay a while?
Casey leaves the under-ground and stops inside the golden crown
For something wet to wipe away the chill thats on his bone.
Seeing his reflection in the lives of all the lonely men
Who reach for any thing they can to keep from goin home.
Standin in the corner casey drinks his pint of bitter
Never glancing in the mirror at the people passing by
Then he stumbles as hes leaving and he wonders if the reason
Is the beer thats in his belly, or the tear thats in his eye.
Oh! she said, I suppose you seldom think about me,
Now she said, now that youve a famly of your own;
Still she said, its so blessed good to feel your body!
Lord! she said casey its a shame to be alone!
song performed by by Kris Kristofferson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tower Heist [Josh Tries to Convince Charlie to Help with the Robbery]
Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena
from Tower Heist (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Pretty Fly For A Rabbi
Veren zol fun dir a blintsa
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say Im pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temples had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of em were nudniks and none of em would last
But our new guys real kosher, I tyhink hell do the trick
I tell ya, hes to dies for - he really knows his shtick
So hows by you? have you seen this jew?
Reads the torah, does his own accounting too
Workin like a dog at the synagogue
Hes there all day, hes there all day
Just say vay iz mir! and hell kick into gear
Hell bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! hey! do that hebrew thing!
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say Im pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice
He has to find a bargain cause he wont pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and hes hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oy, hell make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say mazel tov!
Hes such a macher cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
Whats not to like? whats not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! hey! do that hebrew thing!
When hes doing a bar mitzvah, now that you shouldnt miss
Hell always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say hes got a lot of chutzpah, hes really quitehhhhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
(how ya doin bernie? ) oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
Hes doin well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think hes swell
Show up at his home, he says shalom
And have some cake - you want some cake?
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, Im so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yarmulka
The one you got for chanukah
Lets put on our yarmulkas and
Hey! hey! do that hebrew thing!
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Casey Affleck is a really good friend of mine. I know Casey a lot better than I know Ben, even though Ben and I have worked together a lot.
Caseys Last Ride
This song appears on two albums, and was first released on the aerie album, and has also been released on the the country roads collection album.
Casey joins the hallow sound of silent people walking down
The stairway to the subway in the shadows down below
Following their footsteps through the neon darkened corridors
Of silent desperation never speaking to a soul
The poison air hes breathing has a dirty smell of dying
Cause its never seen the sunshine and its never felt the rain
But casey minds the arrows and ignores the fatal echoes
Of the clicking of the turnstyle and the rattle of his chain
Oh she said, casey its been so long since Ive seen you
Here she said, just a kiss to make a body smile
See she said, I put on new stockings just to please you
Lord she said, casey can you only stay a while
Casey leaves the underground and stops inside the golden crown
For something wet to wipe away the chill thats on his bones
Seeing his reflection in the lives of all the lonely men
Who reach for anything thay can to keep from going home
Standing in the corner casey drinks his pint of bitter
Never glancing in the mirror at the people passin by
And he stumbles as hes leavin and he wonders if the reason
Is the beer thats in his belly or the tear thats in his eye
Oh she said, I suppose you seldom think about me
Now she said, now that youve a family of your own
Still she said, its so blessed good to feel your body
Lord she said, casey its a shame to be alone
Oh she said, casey its been so long since Ive seen you
Here she said, just a kiss to make a body smile
See she said, I put on new stockings just to please you
Lord she said, casey can you only stay a while
Lord she said, casey its a shame to be alone
Words and music by kris kristofferson
song performed by by John Denver
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tower Heist [Slide Trains the Crew on the Roof]
Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena
from Tower Heist (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Tower Heist [Slide Tells Josh They Need to Find a Safe-Cracker]
Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena
from Tower Heist (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Tower Heist [Slide Tells the Gang that Lunch Is on Him]
Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena
from Tower Heist (2011)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Harry Truman
America needs you
Harry truman
Harry could you please come home
Things are looking bad
I know you would be mad
To see your favorite men
Prevail upon the land you love
Americas wondering
How we got here
Harry all we get is lies
Were gettin safer cars
Rocket ships to mars
From men whod sell us out
To get themselves a piece of power
Wed love to hear you speak your mind
In plain and simple ways
Call a spade a spade
Like you did back in the days
You would play piano
Each morning walk a mile
Speak of what was going down
With honesty and style
Americas calling
Harry truman
Harry you know what to do
The world is turnin round and losin lots of ground
Oh harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Oh woah woah woah
Americas calling
Harry truman
Harry you know what to do
The world is turnin round
And losin lots of ground
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Oh
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
Harry
Harry is there something we can do to save the land we love
song performed by by Chicago
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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