If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
quote by Tina Fey
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Related quotes
Work To Make It Work
(r palmer)
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve it
Push it along
It's all there for you to feel it
Help your self to one that you can't deal with
Ain't no way that you could steal it
You misunderstand if you get greedy
Ah push
Work work work to make it work push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
Don't confine your dreams to bed
You'll get scared if you get lazy
If you can't take enough to satisfy yourself
Then you'll go crazy
Wont do no good thinking
You got to do it
So it don't come easy the first time
Practice makes perfect, you know that i'll try hard
Use it or lose it
You got to put your heart and soul into it
Yeaheheh
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to move it
Push it along
Work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
It's all there for you to feel it
Help your self to one that you can't deal with
Ain't no way that you could steal it
You misunderstand if you get greedy forget wishful thinking
You can do it
You just need a push to make a start
If you don't succeed the first time
Try and try again
Use it or lose it
You got to put your back into it
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to move it
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to move it
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Push Push
Come take a ride
Or a slipnside
To sit astridengliden.
....Push!Push!
Please pull the strings
Bees use their stings
Birds spread their wing and
Some things...Push! Push!
A puss that pures
By settinspures
Is this his or her what stirs?
Now: Push! Push!
Unlock the sloice
Bring up the juce
Just let it loose..Producen
Push! Push!
Refrain
Push! Push! Push!Just a little
Push! Push! Push!A little further
Push! Push! Push!Just a little bit
Push! Push! Push!A little bit mooooore!
Ooh what a blow
Yeah, what a show!
Hey, one more throw...
Lets go now! Push! Push!
Another shot
We hit teh spot
Oh that was hot.. a lot
Now: Push! Push!
Refrain
From stick or stone
To the prick an d bone
Im lyinprone, Im nnnot alone
Push!Push!
With a whip and chain
Theres plesuren pain
And no venture, no gain....again
Now Push!! Push!
Refrain
Our fathers who are from heaven
When kings have come thy will be
done Forgive this day - our dailybread Give ahead!!!
Refrain
song performed by by Falco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Did You Say You Make It On The Stairs?
did i really hear you right?
making love on the stairs
and then the boy
comes surprisingly
asking both of you
what are you both doing
on the stairs
both of you naked
while he pumps
on you
like one ever hungry
lover?
how shameful!
well, okay,
the boy is your son
and the man
is your husband
was the bed broken?
or the stairs
too exciting?
was the marriage
too boring?
well, ok,
i understand,
you split with him
could be the
staggering steps on the stairs
could be that the boy
finally understands
could be that the bed
is not that warm
you split for good
and uhuh?
so you are now free
at last
from those stairs
from the bed
and the boy has to make
the inevitable choice
between pa and ma
the stairs he will always remember
anyhow
yes, the boy not the pa
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Work To Make It Work 99
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve it
Push it along
Its all there for you to feel it
Help your self to one that you cant deal with
Aint no way that you could steal it
You misunderstand if you get greedy
Ah push
Work work work to make it work push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
Dont confine your dreams to bed
Youll get scared if you get lazy
If you cant take enough to satisfy yourself
Then youll go crazy
Wont do no good thinking
You got to do it
So it dont come easy the first time
Practice makes perfect, you know that Ill try hard
Use it or lose it
You got to put your heart and soul into it
Yeaheheh
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to move it
Push it along
Work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
Its all there for you to feel it
Help your self to one that you cant deal with
Aint no way that you could steal it
You misunderstand if you get greedy forget wishful thinking
You can do it
You just need a push to make a start
If you dont succeed the first time
Try and try again
Use it or lose it
You got to put your back into it
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to move it
Push it along
Work work work to make it work
Push it along
Work work work if you want to improve
Work work work to m
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0200 Dementia
Now what did I come upstairs for?
Of course I haven’t forgotten your name,
young lady, it’s just that I can’t remember it
Why am I going upstairs?
I only just got up
No dear, you’re wrong,
I always pay on account
Where’s my bed?
Isn’t this upstairs?
Take the paper back
to the newsagent, someone’s
already done the crossword
Of course I’m undressed,
I just came upstairs
Of course you can sign my name dear,
they know me at the post office
Why is it so dark downstairs,
I’ve only just got up
Why should I give you money for the gas,
Young man? I don’t even know you
I’m sure there are more stairs
than there used to be
Stop being so insulting, young man,
it’s only money
No of course I don’t need help with the stairs,
I know my own house
No dear, you sign for it, I’m sure
your boss will understand
Somebody changed the stairs
when I was out, they
aren’t the same
Why are people so rude about
money these days?
Ask my father to speak
to that young man
The stairs are steeper than they were,
somebody’s changed them
Who are you, I didn’t
ask you to come in…
Of course it’s my house,
it’s just that you changed the stairs
Tell the bank manager to
come and see me in the morning.
Why does that man upstairs
move the stairs at night?
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Highway Lady
Run down, low down, dont feel tired
Take no orders, dont get fired
I waste away cruisin along
* fighting blizzards, ragin storms
Hold the wheels tight, know Im born to ramble on
Cruisin along
But I stop, turn my head around
Sleep until tomorrow, in my arms
In my arms,
Highway lady, lorelei, dream the big time high above
Highway lady, high on wheels make you smile again
How she feels
Found my way to spanish stairs
Small corruption, no one cares I taste a lie
Cruisin along
* repeat
* repeat
How she feels
Highway lady, highway lady highway lady, highway lady
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When You Push
When you push...
Don't turn your back upon a cliff.
Or try to balance on the edge of it.
When you push.
When you push...
Don't think for a moment,
I will insist you resist this!
Or think not to inflict...
An exchange with you conflict!
When you push...
And you have been warned!
A visit to your end will come to you quick.
As your fingertips slip...
From that cliff,
With my assistance.
When you continue to push!
And push.
And push!
Think of it,
As a gift to realize your wishes.
When you push to give...
Expect to receive!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One Fine Sunday Morning
A little more push,
a little more push
higher, higher
a little more push,
a little more push
oh, I'm almost there.
A little more push,
a little more push
higher, higher
a little more push,
a little more push
oh, I got it,
I got my shoe!
Oh,
what a fine Sunday morning
you and I comparing
whose kick is higher
beside this old peach tree
that we planted together
twelve years ago.
poem by Marites C. Cayetano
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Like a lady
You make me feel like a lady
You caress me
Compliment me
You look at me with this funny smile
A lovely smile
I am no longer lonesome
I am finally someone
You bring the best out of me
Make me laugh
say funny noises
You tell who I am
How I am
What it's like to be mine
I am your precious
your princess
I can never demand to much of you
I am your flower
and I blossom in your heart
Oh yes
You make me feel like a lady
poem by Camilla Fodgaard
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.
quote by Leslie Nielsen
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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You Could Have Been A Lady
(errol brown/anthony wilson)
Published by us music & media - ascap
Could have been alright, could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
I could have been alright, I could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
They all need you, to make love to
When you awake, you find them on the bed, lyin beside you
They all love you, youre a good girl
And I aint surprised, when you realize, just where youre goin to
You could have been alright, you could have been here tonight
You could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
It could have been alright, you could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
If I told you, where youre goin to
Youd laugh in my face, say Im out of place, mind your business
And they all want you, to make love to
Its ashame, the fate of the game, the way it delights you
You could have been alright, you could have been here tonight
You could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
It could have been alright, you could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
Na, na na na na, na, na, na na na na, na
Na, na na na na, na, na na
Na, na na na na, na, na, na na na na, na
Na, na na na na, na, na na
Alright, you could have been here tonight
You could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
It could have been alright, you could have been here tonight
Could have been sweet as wine, you could have been a lady
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jig Is Up
Yeah, hey hey, hey hey...
Dancing queen, sold like black vaseline
She was a long tall sally joystick
Know what I seen
She was all right
Drashing spurs
Pong man, puss n boots
She was a long-long live, long live who
Sweet pretty lady
(lick em, love em)
Booze and a-fruities
(push em, shove em)
All kinda crazy
(love for my cousin)
Hey lime juicy
De, de, de, de.....
New york chicks
Old jock wild in the city
Got a moon lady
Drive me crazy
Do what you do, do
She was all tight
I mean all right (heh heh)
Sweet painted lady
(lick em, love em)
Lose and a fruities
(push em, shove em)
All kinda crazy
(love for my cousin)
Hey lime juicy
De, de, de...sure...
Only
Sweet painted lady
(lick lick love em)
Lose and a fruities
(push push shove em)
All kinda crazy
(love for my cousin)
Hey lime juicy
De, de, de...sure...
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Push And Shove (feat. Justin Robertson)
If one kiss led to another, baby
I'm ready to forgive you honey
There's a light that shines between us
And it's worth the crying, lady
I was falling on sharp stones then
And my bones were cracking daily
No more weeping and lying now
and I'm holding you forever
and I'm holding you forever
[chorus]
love love Lord above
save us from the push and shove
let us blend together
find us and forgive us
love love Lord above
save us from the push and shove
let us blend together
find us and forgive us
Time they say, is the great healer
But I believe in chemicals baby
When the waves come crashing in
We are closer now than ever
We are closer now than ever
There was a cold space between us
Still we bridged that chasm lady
Desire love and friendship
We are sanctified together
We are sanctified together
[chorus]
love love Lord above
save us from that push and shove
love love Lord above
save us from that push and shove
love love Lord above
save us from that push and shove
love love Lord above
save us from that push and shove
love love Lord above
love love Lord above
love love Lord above
save us from that push and shove
[chorus]
Love [x4]
song performed by by Fatboy Slim
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Death of an Old Carriage Horse
I was a harness horse,
Constrained to travel weak or strong,
With orders from oppressing force,
Push along, push along.
I had no space of rest,
And took at forks the roughest prong,
Still by the cruel driver pressed,
Push along, push along.
Vain strove the idle bird,
To charm me with her artless song,
But pleasure lingered from the word,
Push along, push along.
The order of the day
Was push, the peal of every tongue,
The only word was all the way,
Push along, push along.
Thus to my journey's end,
Had I to travel right or wrong,
'Till death my sweet and favored friend,
Bade me from life to push along.
poem by George Moses Horton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hit It
1st verse
Somebody said what are you doin down there
Trying to make me a living
All I want is to get my fair share
Im pleading but nobodys giving
Maybe Im wrong, and I dont see things clear
But I know how I feel after all the these years
Ill keep fighting the pain and the heartache and tears
Chorus
Then Ill push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Im going to push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Im going to push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
2nd verse
Looking up cause Ive got time to spare
Today the sun aint shining
Im still searching everywhere
For my cloud with the silver lining
People say that enough is enough
Turn my back on this thing put it down to bad luck
But the day I do that, then my life will be up
Chorus
So Ill push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Im going to push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
Im going to push it, going to work it
Keep right on till I hit it
song performed by by Ub40
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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House Of Stairs I
A woman is
A house
With many exits
And stairs
Some they lead
Somewhere,
Other leads no where.
And you
Lady,
You are a house
Dry and dark,
Your house does not
Need neither exits
Nor down or up
Horizontal,
Vertical,
Waving, or
Flying
Stairs
poem by Atef Ayadi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Please Push No More
Now Im behind glass
Ill talk to you
The telephone lines blind
You have defaced my face
I bet you laughed at me
You bright young things
And now I need no-one
I miss you, so
Please push no more
Please push no more
Now its all over for sure
Ill walk back home
We must all come down
We all grow old
We are close, we are hurt
So that was love
And love she kills me
It needs to, so
Please push no more
Please push no more
Please push no more
Please push no more
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Fun/push It
my body's broken
and my hands are tied
filled with frustration
struggles with my mind
but there's nothing
i could do to make it right
no fun, so i push it
there is no way to try
either i do or i don't
no matter how much i want
countless possibilities
i could fall flat on my face
knock out all of my teeth
eliminate the delays
between cause and effect
until i'm nothing but a
sudden bloody wreck
but it's no fun
push it
push it
push it
until someone
wants this
wants this
wants this
(September, New Orleans, LA, USA)
poem by Thomas Quentin Sims
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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South Shores Lake Worth
Hemp's South Shore Comedy night,
you could hear comedy, have drinks and a bite.
Sitting with Jim at a table in the back,
watching the comics yak and yak.
It was fun I have to say,
Jim and me did comedy starting at 8.
Jim was a deadpan comic so he worked his punchline
he had a laugh all the time.
He even sang a Johny Cash song,
it was "Ring of Fire" a joke about his
_____not his dong.
Now I went on stage after him with Razel so cold,
she would make fun of the audience, she was bold.
For Razel would make fun of anyone she was mad at,
she was blunt and obnoxious like a brat.
Now funny times with Jim was such a delight,
we had fun at Hemp's South Shore Comedy night.
Written By Suzae Chevalier on February 13,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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