The best sex I have ever had was with my vibrator.
quote by Eva Longoria
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Vibrator
Is it my imagination
Or are U with the boys again?
U used 2 take me with U
I used 2 be your best friend
When U finally come home
Your car ain't got no gasoline
That's OK, baby
Cuz my new love treats me like a queen
Eat your heart out
CHORUS:
Vibrator makes me feel so good
Vibrator - don't U wish U could?
Vibrator - his patience can't be beat
Vibrator - I guess U could say that U're obsolete
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
It must be my imagination
Cuz I know I didn't hear U laugh
U'd be surprised what I do when U're through
Taking your macho bath
Uncharted waters sailed with ease
Land is always in sight
But with U it's always abandon ship (abandon ship)
And we didn't even get away from the dock 2night
Eat your heart out
CHORUS
Is it my imagination
Are U with the boys again?
U used 2 take me with U
I used 2 be your best friend
But now I'm just a plaything
Your ego-feeding female sex machine
Well U can take a hike, mister
Cuz U're the poorest excuse 4 a man I've ever seen!
Eat your heart out, sucker!
CHORUS
Vibrator makes me feel so good
Vibrator makes me feel so good
Uh oh, oh no!
Please don't die on me no
(Vibrator) {repeat in BG}
May I help U?
Yes, I was wondering if U had batteries 4 my bo...
Oh my God!
Look at the size of that thing!
Where did U get this?
Look, U got batteries or not?
Oh sure, we have batteries
They're in the storage room
Tell U what
I'll just take this downstairs and put them in myself
No, I'll tell U what, U and your rubber glove can go downstairs
And I'll take my business elsewheres
Now gimme this! Jeez!
Well, what do U want?
Goodness!
Goodness, nothing!
Baby, I'm busy
What do U want?!!
Do have any batteries that will fit my body massager?
Body massager? Please!
Right, U see my back's been acting up lately and...
Yeah, my back's been acting up 2
In fact, it acts up every time my boyfriend leaves
No, really, my back...
Save it honey, put it in the bank
I know what's happening
Here, these oughta work
Yeah, yeah, that'll work
Thank U!
Yeah, yeah, go on, get outta here!
Thank U so much, thank U!
Yeah, so get..
Body mas.. please!
(Vibrator) {repeats in BG}
G-spot, g-spot, where, oh where..
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Ready or not, here I come
Oh yeah
Oh, here I come
Oh yeah
Here I.. here I.. here I come!
Now
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky . . . a pulsating force of incredible energy.
quote by David Arquette
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian
0183 Poem for Kay
Praise be to Him,
our One Creator
who built into Adam
the Great Vibrator.
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Gender bender
These days of the global village
one's compassion should extend
to all nations.
So today, offered by email
a jackrabbit vibrator with adjustable butterfly
for personalized clitoris satisfaction
and penis extension kit
with reduced price Viagra offer
I'm thinking:
is the mail any greater
for Canadians called Jean?
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Natural
The vibrator
Told the dildo
Not to mess
Around with
Natural sex.
The dildo
Retorted:
Who are you
To tell me?
Don't you also
Mess around
With natural
Sex?
And anyway,
In this age of
Condoms,
Silicones,
And botoxes,
Do you think
People know
How to have
Natural sex?
So, stop
Preaching me
About hindering
Natural sex!
At least,
Thanks to me,
People are having
Lotsa online
Porno sex ;)
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
An Open Canvass
Pranab k c
05/2011
Be a doll
a puppet
an unique machine
autoconnect with any necessity
of digging or dredging
cooling or heating
at least a stammering vibrator
to smooth the coarse edge of fleshy extension
or for different scope and scape
agony or ecstasy
but
be a doll
a machine
a puppet
never try to be
a man
of feelings
sensitive and touchy
never try to be
lunacy awaits to greet you
chains await to prosecute you as rebel
poem by Pranab K. Chakraborty
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Supercute
She arrived on a 74
/About 20 to 11
She comes to see him, him as in me
She comes to see
And it's never complicated
Other women cannot fade it
Whenever I call
She gets dressed up and all
Supercute
CHORUS
Maybe it's cause she comes from East L.A.
But every time I see her body on display
I gotta call her name from the DJ booth
Strobe light flash and you know the truth
Baby got game, she'll take your loot
Keys to the crib with no dispute
See her dancing in her birthday suit - Supercute
Together we wonder how we got enslaved and why
(It's time to get freedom for our people)
Jericho falls when we all discern the lie
Yo, why the man wanna lie?
I look at her eyes go wild, she smiles - Supercute
CHORUS
On a dare I wanna see if she will share
The kinda toys she uses when I'm not there
None at all she swears
I don't care
(I don't care )
I make her buy another one
And a new dress to wear
(vibrator noise)
Goes the toy against her curly hair
Now she must confess
How she really like to play
Or if she don't, I lower the speed
And bad words she'll say
Tell me how you play, how you play
Even in her anger she's still
Supercute
CHORUS
Shake it around
When you see her dancing in her birthday suit - Supercute
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The First Line is the Deepest
I have been one acquainted with the spatula,
the slotted, scuffed, Teflon-coated spatula
that lifts a solitary hamburger from pan to plate,
acquainted with the vibrator known as the Pocket Rocket
and the dildo that goes by Tex,
and I have gone out, a drunken bitch,
in order to ruin
what love I was given,
and also I have measured out
my life in little pills—Zoloft,
Restoril, Celexa,
Xanax.
I have. For I am a poet. And it is my job, my duty
to know wherein lies the beauty
of this degraded body,
or maybe
it's the degradation in the beautiful body,
the ugly me
groping back to my desk to piss
on perfection, to lay my kiss
of mortal confusion
upon the mouth of infinite wisdom.
My kiss says razors and pain, my kiss says
America is charged with the madness
of God. Sundays, too,
the soldiers get up early, and put on their fatigues in the blue-
black day. Black milk. Black gold. Texas tea.
Into the valley of Halliburton rides the infantry—
Why does one month have to be the cruelest,
can't they all be equally cruel? I have seen the best
gamers of your generation, joysticking their M1 tanks through
the sewage-filled streets. Whose
world this is I think I know.
poem by Kim Addonizio
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Over-Heard Conversations at the Party
'I'm not really fat' he said
'I am anorexic,
just not very good at it.'
'I can't keep a girl friend
I am too, uh, big down there
they say it hurts.'
'You expect me to believe this line? '
'I didn't say I loved you
I said I often think of you.
That's what I said.'
'I have to give up drugs
I am hallucinating
the girl of my dreams.'
So I told her it was ok
she could sleep with him
but she would have to pay
for that pair of shoes
we saw at Nordstrum's.'
'So my Dad says
'All I am asking for
is a Some Sex Marriage.'
So he says he is not gay
he just likes men.
I thew up on him
and he was so sweet
he wiped it off
and I tipped him a dollar.
And then I found out
that the tattoo
he put on my butt
was his ex-girl friend.
Girl, he is ugly
-no way around the facts-
unless you saying
he is packing.
She stood there
and let all the men
get a good look
at her cleavage.
How can you compete
with that?
I don't really read books
and stuff like that
takes too long.
I told him he never
listens to me
and he said
'What? '
I don't know,
the honeymoon
was a disaster;
we made love
for only about five hours
and he started complaining
about his back.
What's your name again?
'You got a girlfriend? '
'Yes' she said.
So he heard us making love
on the answering machine-
the thing was on room monitor.
I told him the baby was his.
Couldn't sleep at all last night-
Vibrator ran out of batteries.
So he said
'You are bleeding.
Is that normal?
'Normal' I said
Bleeding?
And then I passed out.
Well he is very tall,
got big feet,
a big nose.
and bedroom eyes
All the things I need right now.
I had to set him free.
Hard to be with a man
prettier than you.
I hate these parties
and the food is bad.
Don't know why I come.
'I do love you
its just that I don't want
you to think that means
we will get married.'
'The last thing in the world I
need right now is for someone
to fall in love with me and
find out that I was not worth
falling in love with.'
'It was easy. I told him
he was superman man in my eyes.
And then a year later I said
if you are superman
why haven't you solved all of my problems.?
He had no answer.
And then I said
'You are a superman fraud'
poem by Lonnie Hicks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!