Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
quote by Paris Hilton
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Every women needs at least 4 animals. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass that pays for everything.
quote by Paris Hilton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tiger, Tiger
Tiger one to tiger two
Tiger one says I love you
Tiger two does not reply
So tiger one, he starts to cry
Tiger two says why you cry?
Tiger one says 'you did not reply'
Tiger two says I need not to
Tiger one says why?
Tiger two says i love you
Tiger one says i love you too
Tiger one says why oh why?
Why didnt you reply?
Tiger two says I love you
I don't have to say it
You know its true
Now you know the reason why
Tiger two did not reply
Tiger one realises why
Tiger two did not reply
So tiger one he starts to smile
And says tiger two is very fine
For tiger two is my dearest babe
Whome I think of everyday
And tiger two I cannot wait
To see your pretty face again
Tiger
Tiger with coat of dissimilar stripes,
When he’s angry, tiger swipes,
Tiger cautious, guarding his lair,
Danger lurking, tiger aware.
Tiger hungry so he hunts,
Facing quarry, tiger confronts.
Tiger waiting, being sly,
Undercover, no tiger espy.
Tiger detects, now he purrs,
Hunger pangs, tiger stirs.
Tiger quick, must now surprise,
Here we have one tiger, wise.
Tiger from his throat he roars,
Stretching out those tiger claws.
Tiger moving, stealthy pelt,
Expiration, by tiger dealt.
Tiger now with belly filled,
Anger passed, one tiger stilled.
Tiger sleeping, with the Pride,
Craving gone, tiger satisfied.
Tiger such a majestic sight,
Near extinction, tiger fight.
Tiger beautiful and fine,
You’re such a leonine feline.
Tiger we must have respect, ,
For your great tiger intellect.
poem by Ernestine Northover
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Love-letting
'Woman places corpse of husband in closet.
Linah B-,64, said her husband died
In October 31 in either 1977 or 1978 and she
Put him in a closet because she
Couldn't pay for a proper burial...'
Might've been a good case
For Perry Mason if foul play
Had been suspected, but
The authorities got to the bottom
Of the matter when they
Got the call from the workmen
Painting the house.
Seems there was a little more than
Plaster-of-Paris on a closet floor
Than the woman let on.
One might wonder at the woman's stead
To bear the dead crime,
'No, J- is not home today, '
No one the wiser what lay
In the closet's keep.
It'll probably be the 'in' thing now-
Home Burial.
Little women will squirrel
Their loved ones away-
Where the dead never leave the house.
poem by Edward Steinhardt
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Minks
A flower, ebony and pink
looked south in the prairie,
where a huge clan of silver mink
stood like a circle 'round a tree.
The mink, fifteen in number stood
perhaps in trance, so motionless,
the fragile flower hoped they would
come near to see her pretty dress.
The mink however had no taste,
appreciation of all art,
the flower was forever chaste,
each little mink though had a heart.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jaguar
Grace space race.
Everything theyve seen you have seen,
Everywhere theyve been you have been,
Everything theyve done you have been and done already.
Every lovely spot near or far,
You can reach them too in your car,
Or you might be there now if you own a jag already.
The radio blasting, the girls are glancing,
The dash is dancing with gleaming eyes.
Grace space race.
Grace space race.
Jaguar, jaguar, jaguar, jaguar.
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tiger By The Tail
What a shock it was so surprising
You looked so small and frail
I didnt know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
People said that you must be joking
You let emotions run away with you
I realized a little too late
I bit off more than I could chew
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
At times life can be so enlightening
But it can turn on you
Lately it gets so complicated i
I dont know what the tiger will do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Father Is a Great Hunter
In those days they say
Animals live in the bush
I wish my father can travel go West
To see cat and dog
Antelope and elephant
Tiger and lion
Living in man’s house.
They call them pets
But I don’t understand
While in my continent
Mouse hunts for food
Cat hunts for mouse
Dog hunts for cat
Tiger hunts for dog
And my father hunts for tiger and lion.
My father is a great hunter
Our carpet is zebra crossing
Our bed is tiger coat
Our cloth is lion braveness
The walls of my house
Is made with the beauties of boas
And I am proud to be a hunter’s heir.
poem by Abiodun Adekoya
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Skeletons In The Closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh
Skeletons in my closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my shoes
Skeletons I can only see
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons I can lose
Skeletons in my basement
Loitering on my streets
Wearing my best pajamas
Sandwiched between my sheets
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, icy bones
Ooh, I see bones
Say say bones - say boys don't you see them bones?
Rattle them bones at midnight
Shaking my bed, no sleep
I find fingers in my coat pocket
Skeletons from the deep
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, s-see bones
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones
Say boys don't you see them bones?
No?
Heart bones, leg bones, ankle bones, arm bones,
finger bones, dogie bones, head bones
Skeletons in my closet
They even know when I'm in my closet
It's my.. my closet
Not your closet
My closet
You can have it though
Alice we want you
Alice
Alice
A-Alice
What?
Whaddya want
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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They Use to Be in The Closet
Mommy...
What are illegal lesbians?
'No, honey...
They are aliens.'
So the aliens are lesbians?
'No, baby...
The lesbians are legal.
But the aliens are not.'
So...?
Who are the homosexuals?
'Well...
That's a tough one.
At one time,
They use to be in the closet.
Today...
You can't tell who's what!
Or what's going on!
Whether they are downlow in the closet...
Or out tossing balls to one another.'
Oh you mean like daddy and Uncle Ray?
I see them doing that all the time in the garage.
So far I've collected $50 to keep my mouth shut!
That's when Uncle Ray told me...
He was an illegal lesbian.
And they laughed!
Mommy?
Why are you lookiing at me like that?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ride The Tiger
I want to ride the tiger
I want to ride the tiger
It will be black and white in the dead of night
Eyes flashing in the clear moonlight
I want to ride the tiger.
Its like a tear in the hands of a western man
Tell you about salt, carbon and water
But a tear to a chinese man
Hell tell you about sadness and sorrow or the love of a man and
A woman.
I want to ride the tiger
I want to sail through the risin sun for you and you
We got something to learn from the other side
Something to give, we got nothing to hide
I want to ride the tiger.
Black wants out of the streets
Yellow wants the country
Red wants the country back
And white wants out of this world
Sing - sing to the sky
I want to ride the tiger
I want to ride the tiger.
Look to the summer of seventy-five
All the world is gonna come alive
Do you want to ride the tiger?
Its like a tear in the hands of a western man
Tell you about salt, carbon and water
But a tear to an oriental man
Hell tell you about sadness and sorrow or the love of a man and
A woman.
song performed by by Jefferson Starship
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poem: Field Mouse
An unsuspecting, little, field mouse
committed a simple mistake one day;
it unwittingly entered my rented house,
not knowing my cats wanted to play.
My feline buddies, Hijinx and Mischief,
decided to live up to their spirited names;
sadly, the field mouse was offered no relief –
for the boys had a live prize to claim.
By its tail, my cats had live entertainment;
although they’re allowed to have their fun,
from this one deed, my cats will never repent;
for they again had disobeyed - rule number one.
Since their English is not very good,
their one restriction they tend to forget;
so it’s not surprising they misunderstood,
my rule of: “Pets are not allowed to have pets! ”
So now it was time for me to intervene;
performing an unexpected “Animal Rescue”,
I now became a mouse catching machine
and watched him scamper away from my view.
A new retrieval approach, I had to posit;
with the boys closely monitoring my work,
I quickly chased him into a nearby closet,
hoping my cats wouldn’t impatiently go berserk.
Removing items from the closet’s floor,
and contending with this fuzzy foreigner,
I eyed the boys – to keep him from being gored.
Eventually, I trapped him in the corner.
By the time I reached him, he had died –
traumatized until his last heart’s rush.
Unlike my curious pets, I became teary eyed,
as this escapade ended… with a toilet’s flush.
poem by Joseph James Breunig 3rd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mink Car
Its knocking off my diamond wig
Knocking me down unto the platinum ground
Woke up in a beautiful dream alone
Alone
I got hit by a mink car
Hit by a mink car driven by a guitar
And the silver chauffer says that its all in your head
When your 24 carat dead
Dead
In my dream she is reaching past my hollow core
Then her smile is the open sign on an abandoned store
I got hit by a mink car
Hit by a mink car driven by a guitar and the silver chauffer says that its all
In your head
When your 24 carat dead
Dead
Dead
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eye of the Tiger
Tiger, Tiger burning bright
hunts his prey by neon light
Real or bleached, you know the kind
big up front with a sweet behind..
Tiger, tiger, none too bright
Left his cell phone in plain sight
When Elin saw his contact list
She grabbed his driver in her fist.
Four hundred yards straight off the tee
Tiger drives that easily
But when his little wife went clubbing
His face and lawn both took a drubbing
Tiger Tiger burning bright
Doesn’t like the bright spotlight
Yet on his off days he’d resort
To pros who play a different sport
Tiger Tiger made a tape
of Tiger 'eagaling' his date
It came into the hands of 'Vivid'
If they release it he'll be Livid
Tiger, tiger lost Gillette
And Gatorade sent their regrets
Now he’s hawking Trojan’s Wares
and lady Clairol for Blonde hair.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wild Tiger Woman
She sparkle like my jean
She more than seventeen
Seems keen in other words
She must have been
A former beauty queen
Now shes a naughty girl
Chorus
Wild wild wild tiger woman
(wild wild wild wild)
You move me very fast
But can you last another day
Get out of the way
Wild wild tiger woman
(wild wild wild wild)
You gonna break youre little fall
They call her the wild tiger woman
Tied to the bed
Tied to the bed
Shes waitin to be fed
No pay to sir aday (? )
Cant see an ounce of reason in her head
Dont laugh and turn away
Chorus
Need another girl to come and grab her by the tail
As I was hoping that the ground would open up and take me in
Life is so obscene and the remarks that go unseen
Are being diminished to the earth
Ill never find another girl
All in the race
Such a friendly face
Seems clean and upper-class
Young indecisive
Minds are in a maze
She lose me very fast
Chorus
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cub to Rug
Ragging cub,
rugged tiger.
Tiger raging,
tiger ageing, -
trigger gauging.
Tiger rug,
Ragged rug.
poem by Jonathan Robin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger's skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas.
quote by John F. Kennedy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cat Up On The Cupboard
Hey cat, up there on the cupboard staring with your green eyes down on me,
Watcha doin' up there cat? Pretending that you are a panther, say?
Are you going to jump down on my head because I am your prey?
Better not you stupid cat, I'm bigger anyway
And I can beat you one-on-one though you'd be a tiger, say!
You jump on me you stupid cat and that will be your biggest bungle,
I will kick the nine-lives out of you though you'd be the jaguar of the jungle!
poem by Neil Milliner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Closet Man
(foster / mercury / gerrard)
Your secrets safe inside me
Closet man
Safe under lock and key
Understand
What youre thinkin is important
Isnt really so, youll see
But your secrets absolutely safe with me
Your lovers songs and nights
Turn into tears
Your tattoos and your muscles
Disappear
And the ring that I once gave you
Now, youre wearin in your ear
But your secrets absolutely safe my dear
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
Theres nothing new at all under the sun
Youve got company
Youre not the only one
Why, its older than religion
And, quite honestly, more fun
But your secrets absolutely safe my dear, dont worry
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man, yeah
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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