Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
quote by Judd Nelson
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Every Cent Spent
Laugh.
I want you to do it,
Until you are through.
Do it with unstoppable fun.
I hope your eyes are wide open to see...
I am not blind at all to notice,
Your laughter is directed at me.
Laugh.
I want you to do it,
Until you are through.
Do it with unstoppable fun.
I'm wanting you to do this until you are done.
Laugh!
Continue on.
The expense of your humorous joviality,
Will not be paid by me.
But you.
This I guarantee.
And at these prices paid today,
For what you do...
Every cent spent,
At 'your' expense...
Comes with a receipt,
To verify the value.
Showing you the worth,
Of your actions served.
Laugh.
I want you to do it,
Until you are through.
Laugh,
Don't stop.
I encourage more of it from you!
And I promise you this...
Every cent spent,
At 'your' expense'...
Will be returned as deserved.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Are You Ticklish
(carly simon)
Are you ticklish
Or did I just hit a funny bone
Are you ticklish
Are we really alone?
Do you like me
Or am I just hoping for too much
Do you like me
Do you like to touch
Do you like me
I hear theres another side to you
Well theres another side to me too
Lets get over to the other side
Real soon
I hear theres an underneath to you
Well theres an underneath to me too
Lets get down underneath
Real soon
Are you lonesome
Well everybodys lonesome
So its safe to assume youre lonesome
But are you ticklish
Are you ticklish
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
quote by Rue McClanahan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I Loved the Way You Did It
Hey...
I am the joke.
And you are the teller of them.
Remember?
I do.
I will always remember your laughter.
No!
I do not accept your apology.
I like things just the way they are.
With you believing me to be a joke.
And the laughter those jokes at my expense,
Would bring...
I do not wish it any other way.
You have no idea,
Just how inspiring you have been.
Hey...
I am the joke.
And you are the teller of them.
Remember?
I do.
I will always remember your laughter.
By all means...
Continue.
I loved the way you would laugh at me,
In the presence of others.
Can you still do that?
I loved the way you did it.
No.
Please.
You are spoiling my fun.
Don't apologize.
Laugh at me.
Laugh at me.
I loved the way you did it
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Only Wanna Laugh
(william jacob / shannon shor)
Change the mood Im in
For a little while
Let me see that grin
Let me see you smile
No soulful tales that fret and frown
No woeful wails that get me down
No rights or wrongs
Sing no sad songs for me
I only wanna laugh
No time for crying
I only wanna laugh
No time for tears
I only wanna sing
A song thats happy
Thats why I only wanna walk a street thats sunny
I only wanna see the side thats funny
Im saving all of my tears until tomorrow
cause crying all my tears
Just aint my style
Im acting like a clown
But let me be
cause even though I know
The jokes on me
I only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Im saving all of my tears until tomorrow
cause crying all my tears
Baby, just aint my style
Im acting like a clown
But let me be
cause even though the jokes on me, oh
Tell the girls goodbye
cause I dont wanna cry
Hey
I only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Empathized But Sits
The buildup.
The hype.
The failure of it.
And the expense...
A numbing pain,
Does not admit!
A sorrow,
Empathized but sits.
In reflection,
Making sense of it!
But no sense of it...
Comes to soothe!
The buildup.
The hype.
The failure of it.
And the expense...
A numbing pain,
Does not admit!
A sorrow,
Empathized...
But sits.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
If the joke's at your expense
If the joke's at your expense... don't ask for the bill
Take the blows smiling... and then go for the kill!
Sarcasm screaming loud...outta my head
Laugh's cruel acid rain... Leaves mind dead
When a smile turns to smirk
It gets too bloody dark
Dark humor, Devil's grin
Tranquility of liquid sin
At times, you know, smiles can make
One Cry and break High hopes, STILL make
You, the butt of all jokes that they crack
poem by Saurabh Som
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dedicated To Laughter!
Dedicated to laughter! Yes!
It gives your brain a tickle!
It brings a lotto happiness,
You've gotto have a giggle!
Don't hold it back! Let it be free!
Roll on the floor as well!
Then other folks will laugh with glee -
And think it's wonderfell...
Children are known to laugh the most -
They've learnt to tell jokes, too...
With limericks from coast-to-coast
To get the message through!
Yes, laughter lifts the lungs like songs...
Thus tensions melt away...
That's why all comics should get gongs
When honours are given in May...
If I get knighted, as it were,
The day I leave The Mall,
Be kind enough to call me, SIR!
Not Mister, mate or pal!
All wise-cracks pour from lightning brains
That see life's ironies,
Sifting out truths from lies like grains
With food for thought to please!
I'd like to think that humour spreads
Like smiles as joy imparts.
Some jokes are like fine thoroughbreds -
They're trained to thrill our hearts!
Blessed is the soul that's learnt to laugh
Yet cares for other folks -
It proves a noble epitaph
That one was known for jokes!
A precious pun's not always cute!
But sometimes it's OK...
So do your best to be astute!
You'll make somebody's day!
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
What Makes You Cry?
Now Ive got a question baby
What makes you cry?
cos I havent seen any water
In the corners of your eyes
For a day, or a week
Or a month, or a year
Havent seen much of you
Since you left me my dear
Cant you see that Im hurting
How Im falling apart
Dont you care about my drinking
Or my poor lonely heart
I thought you liked football
You didnt mind those videos
And my dog didnt mean
To ruin your clothes (he cant help it)
Now you wont take my phone calls
You sent my letters back
Youre paying for a lawyer
To stab me in the back
Then I saw you on the street
You looked happy, thats a fact
Im impressed - its a hell of an act
Angel - admit it, admit it
Darlin - admit it, admit it
Your love for me didnt die
Its just sleepin
Now I hope you can hear me
Wherever you are
In a cheap hotel room
Or the back seat of a car
I make up those situations
I dont know if theyre true
But Ill tell you, for now, theyll do
Angel - admit it, admit it
Darlin - admit it, admit it
Your love for me didnt die
Its just sleepin
And it wakes every night
To your weeping
Now Ive got a question bady
What makes you cry?
song performed by by Proclaimers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
True Laughter
Laughter
done by many
times uncountable
but rare are the laughs
that come out from deep
within our heart and simply
not to please our bosses and
teachers and parents and other
commanding people's dumb jokes,
which actually makes us feel stupid
But laughter coming out from
deep within our hearts
gives us pure pleasure
and relaxsation of mind
Many great people have said
'Smile, laugh, and joke
and be a true human being'
But these smiles and laughs and jokes
should not be forced ones
But pure and true ones
Coming from deep within
poem by Athul KrishnaA
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
There Used To Be Days
There used to be days,
when i was a witty and humorous guy,
that i could make people laugh,
until they start to cry,
and i would often create stories
filled with such a humor and joy,
that everybody would ask me
how can u do it every time oh boy.
There used to be days....
Often i would tell things in such a way,
and often i would act in such a way,
that nobody could resist to laugh,
however hard they may try,
and even if it would be late for the day,
and even if i would be done for the day,
people used to hold me by hand,
and they wont let me say good bye.
There used to be days....
While i was cruising really very fast,
one day something happened that almost broke me apart,
and in those few hours of storm,
i lost whatever wit and humor i ever had,
i thought the things would improve,
but nothing happened as the days passed by,
and i the witty and humorous guy became a silent and shy guy.
but there used to be days...
now nobody laughs at my jokes,
however hard i may try,
and in such a despaired state i am,
that for myself often i cry,
But my heart says to me, keep on giving a try,
life would flip again someday,
and people would again start to laugh at my jokes,
whenever any i will say,
but till now only i can say
that there used to be days...
poem by Sunny Mittal
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Where Is The Satisfaction One Gets
Where is the satisfaction one gets...
To play hide and seek,
With lost folks?
Or tell ethnic jokes,
To invoke laughter...
At the expense of someone's struggles?
None of this makes any sense to me!
If people are seriously seeking harmony.
And how about those with insecurities?
Those who believe they have birthrights...
To enforce and endorse a superiority.
Only to profess their dependency on others.
Without the Sun and Moon,
Would this Earth exist?
Without temptations to market,
Would there be conflicts?
Without resources sitting on 'third' world lands...
Pillaged by those who live to make demands.
Where would they be without nature to feed them?
To hoard and isolate with treasures to pleasure...
While declaring a stolen standard of life,
As one sought after...
Because it is grand?
And measured against others,
Suppressed by their druthers!
To protect with weapons!
And deplete upon command!
Where is the satisfaction one gets...
To play hide and seek,
With lost folks?
Or tell ethnic jokes,
To invoke laughter...
At the expense of someone's struggles?
I think about this,
And the pitifulness of those thoughtless...
Who wish now to see themselves deprived.
While others they have stripped,
Are left in hunger and homelessness...
To do the best they can to survive!
None of this makes any sense to me!
If people are seriously seeking harmony.
And I wonder where humanity could be...
If folks did not nurture themselves,
To contrive in secret with priorities...
For the sole purpose,
To deceive, cheat and lie!
I think about this,
And the pitifulness of those thoughtless...
Who wish now to see themselves deprived.
While others they have stripped,
Are left in hunger and homelessness...
To do the best they can to survive!
And what will become of humanity...
When a higher consciousness arrives?
And all eyes are opened to realize,
Their falsely kept traditions...
Restricted to pointless conflicts,
Have finally come to an end and died!
Where is the satisfaction one gets...
Once it is revealed,
There IS a higher consciousness.
Soon to amend all foolishness!
With a lifting of those minds confined,
In a darkness from them removed!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Only Makes Me Laugh
I don't know why i feel this way
I don't know if it's right or wrong to laugh at misfortune
Darkness can never last too long
Every time i think i'm falling
And there's nobody around to hold me up
And it seems like the world has come to an end
I look for miles but not a face is friendly
Then suddenly a hole opens up in the ground
The bottom of the hole is a raging fire
I try to jump over but there's no way
The next thing i know, i'm going down
(chorus)
Does it hurt?
Oh, it really doesn't matter
Does it burn?
Oh, i don't feel a thing
Does it sting?
Oh, yeah, it really doesn't matter
Does it hurt?
Oh, i don't give a damn
When i find myself falling and i hit the bottom
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
When i go down the hole and i hit the bottom
The last time that i fell in love
The love was milk and honey but the milk turned sour
The woman became a monster
And everyone i knew had become a stranger
And the room went black and my luck was spent
The floor opened up, down i went
(repeat chorus)
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
Coming right back
Coming right back
'cause you can't keep me down
Can't keep me down
Oh, in the ground
Does it hurt?
Oh, it really doesn't matter
Does it burn?
Oh, i don't feel a thing
I don't mind just a little pain
Ooh, oh yeah
Whoa...
Remembering when i was a young man
How everything seemed to turn against me
I didn't know a soul, it was an alien place
The sun was covered by a dark cloud
And though i tried, i couldn't find a way to escape
The only way to go was straight down
(repeat chorus)
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
I don't know why i feel this way
I don't know if it's right or wrong to laugh at misfortune
Darkness can never last too long...
When you laugh in its face
When you laugh in its face
I don't know why i feel this way...
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Something About Their Jokes Told
Why is it,
That those who once provoked...
Laughter and jokes,
On other folks...
Have become the ones,
Who today appear to fear?
Could it be,
Something they have done to someone...
Has managed to attract serious attention.
And faces of those once cracking with laughs,
Find something about their jokes told...
No longer thought to be as funny.
And today,
Those who they pass to exchange...
With others who gathered to laugh,
Seem to smile as if gasping onto bags...
Of contained laughter.
And appear happy for no apparent reason.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Property Of Jesus
Go ahead and talk about him because he makes you doubt,
Because he has denied himself the things that you cant live without.
Laugh at him behind his back just like the others do,
Remind him of what he used to be when he comes walkin through.
Hes the property of jesus
Resent him to the bone
You got something better
Youve got a heart of stone
Stop your conversation when he passes on the street,
Hope he falls upon himself, oh, wont that be sweet
Because he cant be exploited by superstition anymore
Because he cant be bribed or bought by the things that you adore.
Hes the property of jesus
Resent him to the bone
You got something better
Youve got a heart of stone
When the whip thats keeping you in line doesnt make him jump,
Say hes hard-of-hearin, say that hes a chump.
Say hes out of step with reality as you try to test his nerve
Because he doesnt pay no tribute to the king that you serve.
Hes the property of jesus
Resent him to the bone
You got something better
Youve got a heart of stone
Say that hes a loser cause he got no common sense
Because he dont increase his worth at someone elses expense.
Because hes not afraid of trying, cause he dont look at you and smile,
cause he doesnt tell you jokes or fairy tales, say hes got no style.
Hes the property of jesus
Resent him to the bone
You got something better
Youve got a heart of stone
You can laugh at salvation, you can play olympic games,
You think that when you rest at last youll go back from where you came.
But youve picked up quite a story and youve changed since the womb.
What happened to the real you, youve been captured but by whom?
Hes the property of jesus
Resent him to the bone
You got something better
Youve got a heart of stone
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Grade 9 English Project - What Makes Laughter So Funny?
People say there is nothing funnier then laughter
You can even chuckle some long hours after
You laugh at what is sometimes seen
You laugh at things you do not mean
Yet some where in all hilarity
In amongst that crazy parody
Will Someone please tell me, I’ll give you money
What makes laughter, so darn funny!
Why, when you laugh do people laugh too?
Laugh not at things you say or things you do
Its crazy how when nothing’s funny
People laugh and clutch their to tummy
Will anybody tell me? Wouldn’t you? please, sonny
What makes laughter so gosh darn funny!
Yes, What makes laughter so gosh darn FUNNY!
poem by Matt Rappolt
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It Only Makes Me Laugh
I dont know why I feel this way
I dont know if its right or wrong to laugh at misfortune
Darkness can never last too long
Every time I think Im falling
And theres nobody around to hold me up
And it seems like the world has come to an end
I look for miles but not a face is friendly
Then suddenly a hole opens up in the ground
The bottom of the hole is a raging fire
I try to jump over but theres no way
The next thing I know, Im going down
(chorus)
Does it hurt?
Oh, it really doesnt matter
Does it burn?
Oh, I dont feel a thing
Does it sting?
Oh, yeah, it really doesnt matter
Does it hurt?
Oh, I dont give a damn
When I find myself falling and I hit the bottom
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
When I go down the hole and I hit the bottom
The last time that I fell in love
The love was milk and honey but the milk turned sour
The woman became a monster
And everyone I knew had become a stranger
And the room went black and my luck was spent
The floor opened up, down I went
(repeat chorus)
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
Coming right back
Coming right back
cause you cant keep me down
Cant keep me down
Oh, in the ground
Does it hurt?
Oh, it really doesnt matter
Does it burn?
Oh, I dont feel a thing
I dont mind just a little pain
Ooh, oh yeah
Whoa...
Remembering when I was a young man
How everything seemed to turn against me
I didnt know a soul, it was an alien place
The sun was covered by a dark cloud
And though I tried, I couldnt find a way to escape
The only way to go was straight down
(repeat chorus)
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
It only makes me laugh
I dont know why I feel this way
I dont know if its right or wrong to laugh at misfortune
Darkness can never last too long...
When you laugh in its face
When you laugh in its face
I dont know why I feel this way...
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A real joke
Oldie we were really fooled
That sent chill and make us cool
We can do nothing but laugh
It is story of fools only half
Who prefers and loves to laugh?
Who wants to be alone and rough?
Take it as gift from almighty
Laugh it out as sign of nicety
Lessen out the burden
Which has come all of sudden?
Don't loose composure even
You will be really be happy then
Not to laugh it out is cruel joke
The sadness may remain as yoke
To keep confined if some one pokes
Then it may be really big stroke
We are certainly made to believe
It is fallacy and unreal world that we live
Not everything can go as per plan
You got to swim across the lake like swan
Your efforts may not be liked by all
They will cut jokes at your fall
They have nothing to do with your agony
The matters seems to them unreal and phony
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!