Keith B-real 1
(keith)my name is keith b-real and i'm will smiths cousin
(will)keith, whatchu doin?
(keith)uh, nutin will nutin
(woman)wow! your're his cousin?!?
(keith)uh, will let me expla-
(will)keith!!!!!! you are a liar and a half!
(keith)i just couldn't help myself will...your're the most famous guy i know
(will)we met yesterday in a strip club...i barely even know you
(keith)well i know your sister, uh hillary
(will)she was on the fresh prince of bel-air, keith! it's a show!
(keith)uh, i gotta go. see ya later will{the sound of his feet running}
(will)boy, come back here!{the sound of will's feet running, now}
song performed by by Will Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
My old dog Keith
I once had a dog called Keith
who had one eye and no teeth
so he had a bark and no bite
in fact he looked a bit of a sight.
Keith loved to lie on his belly
especially when watching the telly
because he didn't have any teeth
he couldn't chew meat like beef.
So when he was watching his telly
he'd get stuck into bowls of jelly
at night we couldn't go to the park
as Keith was afraid of the dark.
Keith was a very strange dog
he was afraid of even a frog
when one jumped on his back
old Keith nearly had a heart attack.
He was scared of birds and cats
and flies, and wasps, and gnats,
he was petrified of a mouse
he ran and hid all over the house..
Looking back I think he was insane
because everything scared him even rain
but I really loved old Keith
with his single eye and no teeth.
He may not have been very brave
but I'm grateful for the loyalty he gave
he'll be brave now in doggy paradise
as they'd be no frogs or mice.
In canine heaven he'll have two eyes and teeth
he'll be top dog now will my old Keith!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Intermission
[kool keith]
Ahhh... it's time to relax
For all the people out there, it's time to take a break
A little intermission
Go urinate, get a little popcorn, stuff like that
[ced gee]
Ahh yeah, or get that quart of old gold
Or a banana
[kool keith]
If you wanna jerk off or two
Anything you know
[ced gee]
Or a cup of coffee
Whatever turns you on, take that break
Yeahhh...
And right about now
[kool keith]
We're going back to the funk!
song performed by by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Keith B-real 2
Yeah, this is Keith-B-Real,
looks like my brotha, Will Smith has just avoid me,
but I will not be ignored, excuse me, uh, uh,
Will! Will!
One more... question, brother, look,
I see you brought your DJ Jazzy Jeff with you, now keep it real,
Are you just frontin' DJ Jazzy Jeff with you for the cameras,
so you don't look like some big time bushy Hollywood sellout that you really are?
Process that along with ya hair (Keith, Keith!)
Yeah I.... Charlie! Charlie You gon' get enough to a grab and aboard me, man!
song performed by by Will Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Were With Me Now
Written: stock waterman, kylie minogue, keith washington
Duet with keith washington
(* keith singing)
(+ both kylie and keith singing)
1:
*without you standing by my side
*love and good fortune passes me by
And you were my guiding light
It seemed so easy
+when we said goodbye
+how different would the world be now
If only we had worked it out somehow
+what kind of fools are you and i
+there would be stars up in the sky
+if you were with me now
2:
*and I know I may go astray
*but whos to say that we cant change our mind
My love burns stronger each day
If Im sure of one thing
+one love at a time
+how could we throw our love away
*when we had so much more than words can say
+the darkest clouds would fade away
+to bring the light into my day
+if you were with me now
3:
If loving you is right
Then turn back the hands of time
*Id do anything to make you mine
Theresnothing that I wouldnt do
*i could make you feel my love for you
+if you were with me now
+if you were with me now
+if you were with me now
song performed by by Kylie Minogue
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meet Monica Velour
Kim Cattrall, Dustin Ingram, Brian Dennehy, Keith David, Jee Young Han, Daniel Yelsky, Jamie Tisdale, Jay Malack
by Keith Bearden from Meet Monica Velour (2010)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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My Old Dog Keith Is Now A King
Had a dream the other night
about my old dog Keith
he was in doggy heaven
and he had loads of teeth.
On earth he wasn't handsome
as he only had one good eye
and he was always very nervous
and scared of even a fly.
But in my dream he looked brave
and looked well and really fit
and he was surrounded by other dogs
as on a big throne did Keith sit.
He had on his head a golden crown
written on it were the words Top Dog
he was no longer a timid wreck
who was frightened of even a frog.
Dogs were bowing down before him
and offering him meat on a plate
on Earth he couldn't chew food
but now he could which was great.
When Keith rose to his paws
all the dogs chanted his name
I was amazed how strong he looked
he now had a really powerful frame.
So my Keith was no longer a wimp
who was scared of almost everything
but here he is in doggy paradise
ruling over other dogs as a canine king!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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DDT
ft. Kool Keith
Ahhh!
[Kool Keith]
I look at rappers with maximun equation
X-ray vison invasion
Rhyme connects perfects insects
That crawl and try to bite my rhymes
Pesticides I'm the double D combine the T
Thats DDT
A chemical more to better to burn
Roaches
song performed by by Jurassic 5 from Power In Numbers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Keith Haring
If you see a man of a certain age,
hair still determinedly dark,
but having some time ago switched to khakis
striding Eastern Parkway Plaza
professionally proud,
a bit self-absorbed but unmenacing,
fireworks past,
backdropped by the pediments,
backgrounded by the friezes of the Brooklyn Museum,
its reassuringly old-fashioned pantheon
still reassuring, despite the heat,
and wearing a T-shirt a lighter shade of red than blood
blazoned with a baby, white but out-lined black,
palisaded with hatch-marks denoting radiance
or kineticism or both,
that would be me, for you see
I have just been to the Keith Haring show-
the Keith Haring show which ends soon.
What did I think of it, you wonder?
You will want to know the opinion of a man
wearing exactly that shade of red.
'It brought back the era well-
the era to end all eras:
but a little Keith Haring now,
goes a surprisingly long way.'
poem by Morgan Michaels
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Keith B-Real I (Interlude)
I am keith b real story breaker keeping it real here I'm in some chinese mans theatre and this brother is keeping it real damn ridiculous this is belemptious we go people up here posing as slaves and ice and everything this is ridiculous wait a minute is that jada pinkett excuse me jada over here hi
Hey I'm keith b real keeping it real as usual I got some questions I need to ask you girl
Sure
How long do you think this Will Smith hypothermia is gonna last
Uh hypothermia
Yea look it up man do you guys read
Well you know I think Will is very talented and I think he'll be successful at anything he puts his mind too
Well I been checking out his vertebrae he don't look like he can slang it like no man
Man I would tour your little ah
If you would have read my motivational tapes you wouldn't have done that it talks about that on page thirty seven
Uh excuse me charlie mack please handle this
Charlie you need to stop grabbing up on me anyway this is keith b real be right back
song performed by by Will Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The maiden
Ye all recall beknighted Keith Ashley
of Capadokia, a land known widely
for maids that chords delicately play,
while fellows duel with lances, idly.
Besought was the claim by noble Keith,
to search in foreign lands for grace;
added poetic ways, for a beloved lithe
maiden henceforth, her to embrace!
The maiden was imprisoned in a Castle,
by the Dragon of the County of Pudh,
a dark Knight with a tendency to hassle,
blond Braids were anent to shed blood.
The two mounted knights boldly tilted,
against each other with blunted lances,
noble Keith gallops, but he was jilted,
when at the lance lengths she glances.
Lord Dragon was by gods longingly gifted,
when Braids saw his waxed charisma,
forgot about poor Keith's lance lifted,
thither she sung odes with blepharisma.
poem by Giorgio Veneto
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Keith Of Ravelston
The murmur of the mourning ghost
That keeps the shadowy kine,
'O Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!'
Ravelston, Ravelston,
The merry path that leads
Down the golden morning hill,
And thro' the silver meads;
Ravelston, Ravelston,
The stile beneath the tree,
The maid that kept her mother's kine,
The song that sang she!
She sang her song, she kept her kine,
She sat beneath the thorn,
When Andrew Keith of Ravelston
Rode thro' the Monday morn.
His henchman sing, his hawk-bells ring,
His belted jewels shine;
O Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
Year after year, where Andrew came,
Comes evening down the glade,
And still there sits a moonshine ghost
Where sat the sunshine maid.
Her misty hair is faint and fair,
She keeps the shadowy kine;
O Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
I lay my hand upon the stile,
The stile is lone and cold,
The burnie that goes babbling by
Says naught that can be told.
Yet, stranger! here, from year to year,
She keeps her shadowy kine;
O Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
Step out three steps, where Andrew stood -
Why blanch thy cheeks for fear?
The ancient stile is not alone,
'Tis not the burn I hear!
She makes her immemorial moan,
She keeps her shadowy kine;
O Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
poem by Sydney Thompson Dobell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Nupial Eve (excerpt)
The murmur of the mourning ghost
That keeps the shadowy kine,
"Oh, Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!"
Ravelston, Ravelston,
The merry path that leads
Down the golden morning hill,
And thro' the silver meads;
Ravelston, Ravelston,
The stile beneath the tree,
The maid that kept her mother's kine,
The song that sang she!
She sang her song, she kept her kine,
She sat beneath the thorn,
When Andrew Keith of Ravelston
Rode thro' the Monday morn.
His henchmen sing, his hawk-bells ring,
His belted jewels shine!
Oh, Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
Year after year, where Andrew came,
Comes evening down the glade,
And still there sits a moonshine ghost
Where sat the sunshine maid.
Her misty hair is faint and fair,
She keeps the shadowy kine;
Oh, Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
I lay my hand upon the stile,
The stile is lone and cold,
The burnie that goes babbling by
Says nought that can be told.
Yet, stranger! here, from year to year,
She keeps her shadowy kine;
Oh, Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
Step out three steps, where Andrew stood--
Why blanch thy cheeks for fear?
The ancient stile is not alone,
'Tis not the burn I hear!
She makes her immemorial moan,
She keeps her shadowy kine;
Oh, Keith of Ravelston,
The sorrows of thy line!
poem by Sydney Thompson Dobell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't need to hear Bill to go through a song. I need to hear Keith to go through a song. I know Bill will be playing what I'm playing anyway. I need to hear Keith because it's all there: the time, the chord changes, and all the licks you have to follow.
quote by Charlie Watts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I Burn
[ced gee]
Aiyyo kool keith
Man i hooked this beat up just for you in the ultra lab man
So yo i want you to dog it, man youknahmsayin?
[kool keith]
Yeahhh
[ced gee]
Aight man, so ease back, y'know kick the lyrics man
[kool keith]
Word up
[ced gee]
Go for yours, aight do it man, right now
[kool keith]
Aight..
Yo i'm on, with the freaky style
When you wait debate and rate my
Rhythm expansion, dimension lyric extension
Rise above, amazing days
Crashin your brain, changin ways, sore for days
Figurin out
Many channels, triggerin out forth
I'm sendin, brains are bendin
Like metal, crust to rust corrode
And low stacks, pick up the was while you ask
How you do it, show me through it
I never knew it, could be done, no way my son
Cause i'm the one, smackin em up, stackin em up
Boxin you ducks
Packin em up, cause i burn
[ced gee]
Aiyyo keith man, that was kinda of dope man
But you know what man?
I want you to increase your metaphor, you know uh
Make it better for, somethin like that man, aight?
[kool keith]
Yeah i know what you mean, like this right?
[ced gee]
Yeah man
[kool keith]
Aight watch..
Droppin the word to make you think
You're buggin and illin out on, vocab
Connect the ?, then switch it
Changin range easily, steadily
Slow it down, ride the beat, throw em down
And sweepin em down
Mc's, all dirt on the floor
Stand back in fact you're wack to prove to me
That you're ready to be and willin to see, rhymes flow
Match and go, deep in your brain so
Step back, and wait before you try
To twist in, another line
Designed to catch ya
You gotta watch 2000 i bet ya, perpetrate
Procrastinate, your rhymes are fake, and yo
And let's take your style, use it with mine
Mix it with mine, bring it with mine
And pefect, and let the public elect it
Buyin selected, ducks are corrected
One at a time, each a stack
Puttin em back, sittin em back, in line
To california, i'm breakin on ya
I'm like a psycho, i'm buggin on ya
Once a day, i'm comin your way, to enter your brain
And let a word remain, as a syllable
Stuck deep inside
The more i go on i'll pluck inside
Your skull, and damage your ears
Cause i burn, you know that ced
[ced gee]
Word up man, you burn man, yo yo man
You really did burn that track up man, but you know uhh
My man tr love is in the house and uhh
Moe luv's in the house
Awesome two, they in the house
Uhh, who else in the house?
My man paul c, he got the bass pumpin, uhh
Who else? brother kevvy kev, uhh
[kool keith]
Everybody the whole bronx (yeah)
Brooklyn, fort greene, montier posse
[ced gee]
Yeah everybody man
London, st. louis, ahh, we out of here man
song performed by by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ego Trippin'
Party peoples, in the place to be
Just for you, it's the ultra-magnetic, mc's!
[keith] say what, peter piper?
[c.gee] to hell with childish rhymes!
[keith] cause this jam is just movin
[c.gee] the crowd is steady groovin
[keith] to a supersonic pace
[c.gee] with highs and stupid bass
[keith] with some pep
[c.gee] and the step
[ultra] cause the beat is so funky the pace is well kept
Cause we're..
"ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic} "mc's"
Kool keith!
[kool keith]
They use the simple back and forth, the same, old rhythm
That a baby can pick up, and join, right with them
But their rhymes are pathetic, they think they copacetic
Youse a nerds that returns, at least, not poetic
On a educated base, intelligent wise
As the record just turn, you learn, plus burn
By the flame of the lyrics which cooks the human brain
Providing overheating knowledge, by means causing pain
Make a migraine, hated yourself, start to melt
While the technics spin, the wax is on the belt
Motivating clockwise the more you realize
Moe love's moving steady, by most, with everready
Like a battery, charged, i'm worth the alkaline
Yes the mystery to solve, so seek and define
These words i've given, extremely now driven
With a datsun, a maxima to glide
Yes the wizard kool keith and i'm sportin my ride
Cause we're
"ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic} "mc's"
Ced gee!
[ced gee]
Usin frequencies and data, i am approximate
Leaving revolutions turning, emerging chemistry
With the precise implications, acheived, ??
Explorating demonstrating, ruling, dominating
Igniting causing friction with nu-clear alarms
Seperates competing biters from me, the scientist
As i execute, lyricist, known as predators
When by strippin high potents and mak-in penicillin
I will surely sort out, and stomp, every pest
Oh the rampaging paramedic, ? is my title
To inform other worlds of such, a hellacaust
Quick serve as a purpose, preparing first aid
With medical utensils, the wizard ced gee
Is advanced with elevation, astonishing with rhythm
Cause we're
"ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic}
"mc's ultra.." {magnetic, magnetic} "mc's"
Moe love!
song performed by by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ultra Reunion
[kool keith]
Example one - master magical magician
Hold position, enter the club with competition
The great bartholomew, my spirit follow you
Hand back the track, smellin smoke off the vinyl wax
My approach is silent, quiet like a roach
My solo voodoo is here, zapp with kazoo
What can you do when the funk comes behind your crew
Like greyskull, skeletor the bus is on tour
Kool keith with indian chief sahara
Holdin the flashlight, shavin cream in the mirror
Like yogi berra, big yank count bank
Movin work out the country, you think i'm big hank
Forty-eight waist with bass, all in your face
I be there, in the atmosphere, super underwear
My cape aluminum, light up crews when i'm booin em
Feedback, mistaken, like crazy legs
I be breakin, rap on my back, you caught the steam
While you smoke crack, that song word p
Chorus: repeat 4x
We know how to win, ultra again
Ced gee, kool keith, re-un-ion
We know how to win..
[ced gee]
Check it
I bring light to every order
I'm smooth as hell, my record sells cross the border
So don't you tell me what i need
Cause i like to be, all that i see
However you take it, it could be arranged simplistic
Mad beats son, i know that you with it
Plus you know i'm spittin cheeba
You can quote that son, while i go call anita
I'm like the high setter, the ready to buy getter
I like the fly sweaters, honey lips is wetter
I cruise around the world, uhh
Collectin fancy pearls and sexy girls
The umm, the ahh, umm the ahh
Ahh yeah son, i originated that
And that's a fact, product skills mad fat
The black on wax need to be brought back
The right way, the hype way
The way that mc's used to rip the mic way
Chorus
[c.gee] so won't you kick that son?
[keith] yeah..
[kool keith]
Even compressed, i snap back like aquaman
The boogieman, lookin down at the city
Nuclear bombs, band-aids, hurt your arms with quickness
[ced gee]
Check, check.. check
Up in the ghetto i rip up mad parties
I rock the bells, lyrics kick like bacardi
[kool keith]
Witness ill, reel to reel, change like weather
Penetratin plether, for goose feather
Acrobats get waxed, we run road like mad max
Security, wells fargo, i go
Loco, express best, who stress test me
Let's move on him
Chorus (fades)
[kool keith]
Yeah, feel my bassline..
song performed by by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am six feet tall. I am not supposed to be afraid.
quote by Keith Miller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.
quote by Keith Richards
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kool Keith Housing Things
[kool keith]
Well i'm sonically, high bionically
For you dummies, ironically stupid
What are you, cupid?
You steal my rhymes, and then you loop it
Wrong! back this way
Follow me now, head this way
Into this, while i rap on through this
For many germs, who never knew this
Switches, upside down
Turn around, look in the mirror
You rap catchers are makin a error
Every inning, i'm back to the dugout
You on the field, i'm ready to bugout
Like a manager, smackin up your team
Male or female, ducks who dream
Of takin me, on the mic and makin me
Rack up, mc's i stack up
Foreign precinct rappers need to back up
Quickly, i'ma rip your brain off
Throw it down so the blood can drain off
My hands, while i wave to a fan
I'm kool keith, not a bill or a dan
But a general, equal to a mineral
Pushin a crowd, to keep on dancin
I'm housing things
{moe love cuts up "kool keith"}
[kool keith]
Now i'm back, to continue my verses
I'm never screamin loud with any curses
Rougly, that a child can learn
I teach kids, and ducks that burn
With a flamethrower, and how do you show a
A grass rapper, cut him with a lawnmower
Twice, into golden wheat
Ground the rest into moldin meat
And cook em, til they all well done
They not ready, they don't smell done
Like fish, it ain't my favorite dish
I grab a steak and to battle i wish
A coke mc or pepsi i'll sip up
Drop your face and bring the other lip up
Watch, while i stun and amaze you
Kick out lyrics that truly'll daze you
I'm your boss, the one that pays you
Nine to five, all ducks are hired
And when i come mc's are fired
No pay, no way today
You're an employer with nothin to say
But i can say, one thing for sure
I'm housing things
{moe love cuts up "kool keith"}
[kool keith]
I think it's pitiful, that you had taunted me
Your girl sulkin, she wanted me first
Before you was thought about
Back in the days, when i taught about
Science, the real construction
No other solo team or production
Did that, or got with that
I play brain ball usin a bat
To your skull, smack it out the park
I rhyme bright, and you're in the dark
With shadows, hallucinating battles
To compel, the capital k, as in kool
Combined in keith
Rap metal is terminal chief
And joy, squashin the beef
On time. and my mic will stay on
For any roach or germ who wanna pray on
A weakness, but my uniqueness
Has a way to show that i'm slicker
Creating rhymes, you have to be, quicker
And versatile on the microphone
I'm kool keith, cold housing things
And i'd like to say whassup to my man, father mashon
And also my brother kevvy kev, ced gee, moe love, tr
And my man i god, paul c, public enemy and the jungle brothers
Peace, i'm outta here
song performed by by Ultramagnetic Mc's
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Stones in a club is still the ultimate rush.
quote by Keith Richards
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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