An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Vegetable Man
In yellow shoes I get the blues
Though I walk the streets with my plastic feet
With my blue velvet trousers, make me feel pink
Theres a kind of stink about blue velvet trousers
In my paisley shirt I look a jerk
And my turquoise waistcoat is quite out of sight
But oh oh my haircut looks so bad
Vegetable man how are you?
So Ive changed my dear, and I find my knees,
And I covered them up with the latest cut,
And my pants and socks all point in a box,
They dont make long of my nylon socks,
The watch, black watch
My watch with a black face
And a big pin, a little hole,
And all the lot is what I got,
Its what I wear, its what you see,
It must be me, its what I am,
Vegetable man.
Ive been looking all over the place for a place for me,
But it aint anywhere, it just aint anywhere.
Vegetable man, vegetable man,
Hes the kind of person, you just gonna see him if you can,
Vegetable man.
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Most people are really stunned to find out that the technology has been around for more than 100 years, and that the diesel engine was in fact invented to run on vegetable oil.
quote by Daryl Hannah
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Pancakes and With Baked Salmon
I do have this 'thing'
For my own homemade pancakes.
And with baked salmon!
What a treat to eat.
You are not going to get any that I make!
But here is the recipe.
You can do it just like me.
First beat an egg in a mixing bowl,
Add a tablespoon of baking powder.
A third teaspoon of salt
A full teaspoon of sugar.
And about a third cup of vegetable oil.
Beat that all together.
Now you want to add the flour.
About a cup...maybe more...
If you're serving more than two people.
I choose to use evaporated milk.
At least a cup.
Whip all this stuff up.
Heat that frying pan or griddle.
Medium to hot.
Add some olive oil if you got it.
Vegetable oil will do.
With a slice of butter added too!
OH! I almost forgot the salmon!
I use salmon steaks.
Preheat the oven 350 degrees.
After rinsing the salmon...
Rub with apple vinegar.
Salt and pepper if you please.
Lay on tin foil since this is what I use.
Add butter and a bit of oil!
Enclosed that salmon within the foil.
Baked twenty minutes.
That's all it takes!
ENJOY!
Use syrup on the pancakes.
Perhaps a little Vadalia Onion Dressing,
On the salmon.
And if you don't like this...
You definitely will love,
My brown sugar/mustard roasted chicken.
But I'm not sharing that right now!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
People expect us to be different, but we're not. We're very similar people, and it's because we're so similar and close to each other that we make each other laugh - in fact we make each other laugh more than we make anyone else laugh.
quote by Adrian Edmondson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It's such a great feeling to make people laugh. I know I've made people cry or want to slit their wrists, but to make people laugh is a very intoxicating, wonderful thing.
quote by Joan Allen
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
Glass Onion
I told you about strawberry fields
You know the place where nothing is real
Well here's another place you can go
Where everything flows.
Looking through the bent backed tulips
To see how the other half live
Looking through a glass onion.
I told you about the walrus and me-man
You know that we're as close as can be-man
Well here's another clue for you all
The walrus was paul.
Standing on the cast iron shore-yeah
Lady madonna trying to make ends meet-yeah
Looking through a glass onion.
I told you about the fool on the hill
I tell you man he living there still
Well here's another place you can be
Listen to me.
Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dove-tail joint-yeah
Looking through a glass onion.
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
This Will Make You Laugh
This will make you laugh,
I staked my dreams on you.
This will make you laugh,
They never did come true.
I took a chance on the one romance,
I vowed it couldn't miss.
But I should have known to never judge,
A heart borrowed kiss.
This will make you laugh,
I once believed in you.
And for all my love,
You didn't see it through.
Of all the fools, I break the rule.
I love you still you see,
This will make you laugh,
But it's not funny to me.
(last verse repeated)
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I don't think that people accept the fact that life doesn't make sense. I think it makes people terribly uncomfortable. It seems like religion and myth were invented against that, trying to make sense out of it.
quote by David Lynch
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
One Of The Few
When youre one of the few to land on your feet
What do you do to make ends meet?
Teach
Make them mad, make them sad, make them add two and two
Make them me, make them you, make them do what you want them to
Make them laugh, make them cry, make them lie down and die
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
You
you make me smile
you make me laugh
you could make me cry
but you don’t
you could tell me no
but you don’t
you could make me hate you
but you don’t
you could make me have sex with you
but you wont
you could make me do a lot of things
but all you want to do
is make me fall deeper in love with you
and
make me feel
like an angel
poem by Mrs. Cynosure
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Green Onion Shampoo
The baby-sitter's nuts! Please listen Mom, it's true!
Last night she washed my hair with Green Onion Shampoo!
Green Onion Shampoo! Green Onion Shampoo!
It smells worse than bad, and when you get through,
Your poor scalp will burn, your eyes will burn too!
Who ever heard of Green Onion Shampoo?
Why did she do that? She has a loose screw!
It's made in Cleveland! This stuff is brand new!
I don't understand! God, what did I do?
To ever deserve Green Onion Shampoo?
Promise to fire her! And trust when I say...
If you rehire her... I must run away!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Don't Make Me
Don't make me angry,
Don't make me sad.
You'll regret,
Doing it.
Don't make me bad,
Don't make me afraid,
You'll regret,
Doing it.
Don't make me nice,
Don't make me good,
You'llk regret,
Doing it.
Don't make me happy,
Don't make me laugh,
You'll regret,
Doing it.
Don't make me learn,
Don't make me run.
You'll regret,
Doing it.
Don't make me mad,
Don't make me aggrevated,
Or I'll,
Kill you...
poem by Dragon Crenshaw
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The progress
Cooking invented, I have lost my teeth.
Tools invented, I have lost my hands
Carts invented, I have lost my legs
Electricity invented, I have lost my sight.
Calculator invented, I have lost counting.
Computer invented, I have lost faculty
Internet come, I lost neigbours.
Is mankind on march to stability?
08.05.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Pray Ole
Lets say goodbye till tomorrow
With a word sincere
How do you make it through the night
I hope to God youre still here
I pray ole
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
I pray
I pray
Its a God eat God world
Its a dogs tomorrow
And the song and wind
Brings nothing but sorrow
Oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I Pray, Ol
Let's say goodbye till tomorrow
With a word sincere
How do you make it through the night
I hope to God you're still here
I pray Ole
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
I pray
I pray
It's a God eat God world
It's a dog's tomorrow
And the song and wind
Brings nothing but sorrow
Oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
People And Pet Poems
People and Pet poems I do write,
in the day or the night.
Rhyming here and rhyming there,
about people and pets
that I valued and value so dear.
Some people were just passing by,
some people made me mad, laugh, and cry.
I also write phunny poems now,
To make people laugh, laugh out loud.
So buy my collection of poems from me,
I will through an autograph for free.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on September 23,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Sonnet: Let People Have Their Evil Ways, Not I
Let people say whatever they may say;
Let people spread rumors, white lies of me;
Let people sin whether by night or day;
I want to tread God’s way most righteously!
Let people laugh a hearty laugh of scorn;
Let people mock and ridicule my ways;
Let people live by stealing others’ corn;
I want to spend most truthfully my days.
Let people live in vices if they wish;
Let people commit mortal sin each time;
Let people hate others and them ravish;
I want to make my life always sublime.
Let people lose their chance of seeing God;
By accident too, I shan’t Him defraud.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I'm Not An Angel Nor An Evil
I'm not an angel
Nor an evil
I'm who i'm
just little bit different
From the people around
Just Because I can't put on masks
And change them with every character and situation
Every while and while
Does that make me bad!
How they make me admire
when every while and while
They wear on and off
Different face
and face
They just make me smile.
I can't change colores
I can't wear masks.
I can't act happy
When i'm sad
I Can't laugh when someone is sad
Then I'll feel so bad
I'm not perfect
But I try to do my best
Sometimes a nice word
Can give me the world
A smile of a child
Makes me fly
A sad glance can make my heart cry
I'm just a human being
I laugh
I cry
I try
I shout
I feel
I fear
That's the way it is
Even with my faults
Still I can feel proud
I judge myself and sometimes even make fun.
But never ever want to be like those
Who act angel
Then they make million faults
Yet they never feel shy to judge others
How they make me admire!
poem by Sossi Khachadourian
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!