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Lady Godivas Operation

(reed)
Lady godiva here dressed so demurely
Pats the head of another curly hair boy, just another toy
Sick with silence she weeps sincerly
Saying words that have oh so clearly been said
So long ago
Draperies wrapped gently around her shoulder
Life has made her that much bolder now
That shes found out how
Dressed in silk, latin, lace and envy
Pride and joy of the latest funny faire
Pretty passing care
Hair today now dipped in the water
Making love to every poor daughters son
Isnt it fun
Now today propping frace with envy
Lady godiva peers to see if anyones there
And hasnt a care
Doctor is coming the nurse thinks sweetly
Turning on the machine and neatlypump air
The body lies bare
Shaed and hairless what onces was screaming
Now lies silent and almost sleeping
The brain must have gone away
Strapped securely to the white table
Ether caused the body to wither and writhe
Underneath the wight light
Doctor arrives with knife and baggage
Sees the growth as just so much cabbage
That now
Must be cut away
Now comes the moment of great! great! decision!
The doctor is making his first incision!
One goes here - one goes there
The ether tubes leaking says someone whos sloppy
Patient it seems is not so well sleeping
The screams echo up the hall
Dont panic someone give him pentathol instantly
Doctor removes his blade
Cagily so from the brain
By m count of ten -
The head wont move

song performed by by Velvet Underground
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Shot

[phones ringing, babies crying]
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Nurse: doctors office, could you hold please? yes sir can I help you?
White guy: yes I have a four oclock appointment, Im here to get my shot.
Nurse: okay, come right with me.
White guy: this isnt gonna take too long is it?
Nurse: here we are, here have a seat right here.
White guy: oh great, thanks, thanks.
Nurse: the doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
White guy: uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
Nurse: okay great.
[door shuts]
White guy: damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
Doctor ice cube: yo wussup?
White guy: hi how ya doin ?
Doctor ice cube: alright, lets see what we got here uhh, mr. white huh?
White guy: yes sir thats me.
Doctor ice cube: heh, I heard you dont like shots do ya?
White guy: no I sure dont.
Doctor ice cube: aww youre a big boy uhh this wont hurt a bit,
Jus uhh turn your head...
White guy: lets get this over with.
Doctor ice cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
For you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[bang!]

song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seeing Double

(ian hunter)
Doctor, doctor, am I alright?
I keep on stayin up - all through the night
Smokin, drinkin, watchin t.v. til the light
Its been a long time since I slept
All I seem to think about is what I aint yet
Im seeing double
Doctor, doctor, am I in need?
Seems like theres somethin wrong with me
Underneath this stone lies a different guy
My head says yeah - my body says no
I cant seem to get up - I cant seem to go
Im seeing double
In the middle of my life - its just a little strange
All those people - theyre alright - if theyd stop messin with my brain
I remember when the world was new
Doctor, doctor, what can you do?
Im tired of runnin - give me something to slow down
Aint been to bed in over a week
I cant catch up son sleep - its playing hide n seek
Im seeing double

song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Shot (intro)

phones ringing babies crying]
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
nurse: Doctor's office could you hold please? Yes sir can I help you?
white guy: Yes I have a four o'clock appointment I'm here to get my shot.
nurse: Okay come right with me.
white guy: This isn't gonna take too long is it?
nurse: Here we are here have a seat right here.
white guy: Oh great thanks thanks.
nurse: The doctor will be right with you, and can I get you anything?
white guy: Uhh maybe a glass of water would be great.
nurse: Okay great.
[door shuts]
white guy: Damn, what is taking so long?
[door creaks open, funky music in the backround]
doctor Ice Cube: Yo wussup?
white guy: Hi how ya doin' ?
doctor Ice Cube: Alright, let's see what we got here uhh, Mr. White huh?
white guy: Yes sir that's me.
doctor Ice Cube: heh, I heard you don't like shots do ya?
white guy: No I sure don't.
doctor Ice Cube: Aww you're a big boy uhh this won't hurt a bit,
jus' uhh turn your head...
white guy: Let's get this over with.
doctor Ice Cube: yeah uhh, rub a little alcohol on there, right here,
for you, and uhh brace yourself!
[click]
[BANG

song performed by by Ice Cube
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Godiva

Hey Lady Godiva, ridin´ through the town
Naked on your big white horse
With your long hair hangin´ down
Lady Godiva, you say you´re really frightened
and so shy
I hate to bust your bubble but you
Sure picked a funny place to hide
Hey Lady Godiva, lookin´ for a place
Where no one wants your body
And nobody knows your face
Lady Godiva, you say you wanna be loved
For what´s inside
I don´t know much about horses but you
Sure picked a funny place to ride
Every man´s just a clutchin´ hand
Reachin´ out to grab you
Every man´s a quiverin´ lance
Tryin´ hard to stab you - don´t let ´em nab you
Hey Lady Godiva, lookin´ kind of scared
You showed ´em all your talents
But nobody seems to care
Lady Godiva, could it be nobody wants to ride
Come to think it over
You may have picked the perfect place to hide

poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lady & The Doctor

The lady keeps the doctor in a place inside her pocket
The circle made her circle like a wheel
The doctor gives a strange love, but the lady she dont knock it
Shes glad to get a piece of anything
Because the lady needs the medicine ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Doctor needs the lady to see
The doctor keeps the lady in a page in a book
On the history of communicable diseases
The ladys been to school, she lets the doctor play it cool.
He writes the script, she follows his lead.
cause the doctor writes love story so fine
The ladys learned to read between the lines
Sometime
The doctor, he takes housecalls where he visits the animals
In their stalls, shoots them full of juice and then goes home.
The lady hits the supermarket where she rides the aisles in a shopping cart
till she feels shes played enough of the part to set by ooh,
The lady feels its enough to just be good.
But the doctor has his need to be understood.
The doctor feels hes so abused and the lady feels shes so unused
And demands the doctor tends her daily parts.
Ooh, but the doctor just cant do it because so long ago the lady
Blew it, theyre too old now to make another start.
The lady feels the doctors made of stone.
The doctor heart, it just aint fond of ? home?

song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hand That Feeds

Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)

song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dr. Beat

Doctor, Ive got this feelin deep inside of me, deep inside of me
I just cant control my feet when I hear the beat, when I hear the beat
Hey doctor, could you give me somethin to ease the pain
cause if you dont help me soon gonna lose my brain
Gonna go insane
I just dont know, dont know
How Im gonna deal with you
Doc, doc, doc, doc, doctor beat
I just dont know, dont know
Wont you help me doctor beat
Doc, doc, doc, doc, doctor beat
Wont you help me doctor beat
(repeat previous line 3 times)
Say, say, say, doctor
I got this fever that I cant control
That I cant control
Music makes me move my body
Makes me move my soul
Makes me move my soul
Doc, you better give me somethin
cause Im burnin up
Yes, Im burnin up
Doc, youve got to find a cure
Or were gonna die
Yes, were gonna die
I just dont know, dont know
How Im gonna deal with you
Doc, doc, doc, doc, doctor beat
I just dont know, dont know wont you help me doctor beat
Doc, doc, doc, doc, doctor beat
Wont you help me doctor beat
(repeat line 3 times)
Doctor doctor, wont you please help me
You gotta help me, you gotta help me
If you got trouble, cant stop your feet
Pay a little visit to doctor beat
Doc, doc, doc, doc, doctor beat
Wont you help me doctor beat
(repeat line 3 times)

song performed by by Gloria Estefan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Doctor

Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat

song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor, Doctor

Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.

song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010

Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!

Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.

Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.

Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC

Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010

poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor

[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?

song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Godiva

Her name was Lady Godiva
A lady so brave and so strong
Her husband the Earl of Mercia
He treated her terribly wrong
She's a lady
She's a lady
She rode naked on horseback
To stop him from his tax increase
But people in town closed their curtains
Than prison for living in peace
*She's a lady
She's a lady
She's a lady, Lady Godiva
The hero of Coventry
L-L-Lady Lady Godiva
She rode into history
Then sneaking a glance through the window
Was a guy they called Peeping Tom
He caught a glimpse and was blinded
Curiosity sometimes is wrong
*(repeat)
People liked Lady Godiva
Respectfully looking away
They honoured incredible courage
Her legend lives until today
*(repeat, repeat

song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Staples

Cause it hasn't been that long
since you almost hit the tree.
Cause it hasn't been that long
since you hit the pole because of speed.
Do you remember
the ambulance it took you there?
Do you remember
they cut your pants your favorite pair?
They shaved your head.
Where's all your hair.
The doctor said,
"We need some staples for his head."
The doctor said,
"Another foot you could be dead."
The doctor said,
"We need some staples for his head."
The doctor said,
"You should have took the bus instead."
All you could hear
was kachunk, kachunk, kachunk.
All you could hear
was the doctor putting staples in this punk.
He could have died that day.
Which means that he would not be here.
He would have gone away,
friends and family we'd shed our tears.
But the good thing would be
is that we would always know.
He would be living
with Jesus Christ in his new home.

song performed by by Relient K
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet: God, Bless My Dear Sister

God gave her beauteous body and long hair!
Intelligent, she prayed really hard;
She spoke fluently and looked very fair;
As doctor, she was superb in the ward.

But suddenly, her dad had fallen ill;
She looked after him ‘like a nurse’ by day;
‘Insulined’ making urine sugar ‘Nil’!
She worked as doctor by night far away!

God bless’d her with good husband, three children;
Her Practice too is good but life is tough;
She tends to mother more than eighty when
She develops chest-cold and nasty cough.

God bless my doctor sister for her feat!
Help her in times of woes: devils defeat.

poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cocaine Blues

Everytime my baby and me go up town
police come and they knock me down
Cocaine all around my brain
Hey baby, better come here quick.
This old cocaine is making me sick.
Cocaine all around my brain.
Yonder comes by baby, she's dressed in red
She's got a shot-gun, says she's gonna kill me dead.
Cocaine all around my brain
Hey baby, better come here quick.
This old cocaine is making me sick.
Cocaine all around my brain.
Early one morning, half past four
cocaine came knockin' on my door.
Cocaine all around my brain
Hey baby, you better come here quick.
This old cocaine is making me sick.
Cocaine all around my brain.
Cocaine's for horses and it's not for men
Doctor said it kill you, but he don't say when.
Cocaine all around my brain.
Hey baby, you better come here quick.
This old cocaine is making me sick.
Cocaine all around my brain.

song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rock n Roll Doctor

Well Im sick and tired of hearing bout the world and its hang ups
Gonna get myself together,
Take a ride downtown
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today. hes gonna blow me away
He makes me happy when Im feeling down
Take away my worry takes away my frown
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today
He gonna blow me away
If you wanna feel groovy
Give the doctor a call
Doctor rock will help you anytime at all
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today
He gonna blow me away

song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Nurse

When all of your loved ones are gone
And you're waiting for the doctor to come,
I'm the one that you're getting angry at
'Cause you see me coming around.
Instead of hating you or getting mad,
I try to show you how to understand.

Though I'm not a doctor to save someone's life,
I 'll sit close beside you and I will listen
To your complaints, suffering, and pain
Somehow, I may take away all your fears.

Though I'm not a doctor who prescribes medicines,
I'll serve you with tender loving care.
For me, that's something I should be proud of.
Even in your slightest discomforts,
I am with you always
Making sure that you're alright,
As you're taken care with love and respect.

I am the one who believes in miracles
With my soft and gentle voice,
I bring you love and hope,
Render you my skillful care,
And show you my priceless smiles.
I am the one that comforts,
Stands and cares for you.

The one who dares to touch your hands
In your delicate moments
When you're feeling lonely and hopeless.
I'm the one who lets you know
That I will stay close beside you
When there is no one to embrace you.

Yes, I am the one with white uniforms.
A nurse with a caring nature
Who has compassion and empathy for others.
An advocate nurse
That the ultimate goal on earth is
For the best of the human race.

poem by Alon Calinao Dy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Blind in Bed

Soft eyes, and still face grows blindness,
Your gloom besets when shut are the eyes.
Blind beauty promises unique changes always enormous,
The sleep is a song of the void, the lies.
My room sinks into boredom when he arrives,
He is a good doctor, wonderful and fit to be severe,
When he arrives medicine has come that deprives,
But it helps us with archives, and it makes us adhere.
The key of the doctor is near the bed of another man,
I cannot reach the different person, he is a sanity.
May God deliver his help to me when He can,
Like a doctor or a nurse of Christianity.

poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor Robert

Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert

song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Patient, Thou speak’st only the truth

The truth, he speaks, the patient, sick when he's,
'Tis rare for him to tell a pack of lies;
If not, the Diagnosis will go amiss,
The patient knows all this if he is wise.

How can the Doctor know the malady,
Without the patient telling his Symptom?
Diagnosis must precede the Remedy,
A commodity, Health's bought but seldom.

0 patient, Thou better speak truth alone!
The Doctor is no real Demi-God;
Help him help thee, 'fore thy family shall moan;
If thou art ill, Doctor is next to God.
Diseases can dupe the best of Doctors,
A bad history can turn into thine hearse.

poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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