I want to manufacture a feud.

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I just want to do cool stuff.

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Wow. I am really pretentious.

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I have to stay true to myself.

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I get all of my comedy from CNN.

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I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

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Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

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It's like every day I'm born anew, without Jesus.

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The head writer loves that my character is a boor.

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Pat O'Brien knows nothing. He's on the Hell express.

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