Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just go up to somebody on the street and say ""You're it!"" and then run away.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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We use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60%.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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