If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.

quote by Dean Martin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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