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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=548902" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Committing Suicide is a Fad</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">We have met the enemy, and they are us.<br>—Walt Kelley, Pogo<br>†</div><div style="margin:10px 0">In major national newspapers<br>very soon, you will see my ad: <br>thanks to years of research<br>and cutting-edge technology<br>a wonderful product, I’ve made, </div><div style="margin:10px 0">for committing suicide.<br>And I say<br>“Committing suicide is a fad.”<br>I’m Dr. Bulggard.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">My idea’s going to shake the world.<br>Since many people seem to commit suicide<br>of one sort or another, I thought, <br>there must be a big demand out there.<br>So I commissioned a marketing survey<br>and the stats we got were astounding; <br>nothing fell within the gray.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And all companies in this business<br>had only but one thing in common: <br>ever-rising growth! <br>Cigarettes, junk food, or the like, <br>that makes them each multibillionaires.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I say my product compares, <br>at anytime is better than theirs! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">I wonder in this rapid age of technology, <br>we do everything faster, <br>why then does suicide remain so neglected? <br>In the matter of efficiency and fastness, <br>it seems sheer carelessness! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Let’s examine the inefficient ways<br>of committing suicide we see at present.<br>People smoke, <br>and know they may get cancer.<br>They take drugs<br>and know they may end up worse than dead.<br>They eat junk food<br>and know they may have a heart attack.<br>They don’t walk or exercise<br>although they’re forty pounds overweight.<br>Just keep counting…</div><div style="margin:10px 0">What is the use of slow death? <br>Here is my product<br>with a new way to embrace death! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">It looks like the world too is mad<br>bent on a collective suicide.<br>Irregularities in the weather and frequent storms! <br>Melting glaciers and rising sea levels! <br>The pollution and radioactive waste! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">What does this all go to show? <br>Committing suicide is really a fad! <br>Now all of us know.<br>By now it should be clear<br>how useful my product can be in any case: <br>for an individual, <br>or for the entire human race! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Now let me briefly explain<br>what my product is: <br>it’s a very high quality<br>high-tech balloon<br>to fly into space, <br>with it, no rocket can race! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">To help you commit suicide, <br>we give you a money-back guarantee first, <br>halfway if the balloon doesn’t burst, <br>and it’ll disperse your body pieces evenly<br>among all heavenly bodies, <br>and the soul as a light rises—<br>a merry suicide, indeed! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">You can also buy an add-on package<br>for a small additional price, <br>if you wish to go to any planet of your choice, <br>and disappear there<br>as per your preferred religious rites.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And that’s not all; <br>we give many light years’ warranty, <br>you need not in any way fear.<br>In suicide also I assure you, <br>you would cheer! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">One more thing, somebody recently asked<br>if my product can be made multipurpose? <br>Well, to this suffice it to say, <br>NASA is in touch with us.<br>We might pick up a few deals; <br>they too want to cut their costs<br>in light of the turbulence their economy feels.<br>The savings, I hear, <br>would partly go to Africa or Palestine, <br>to boost their image, <br>or buy peace from Al Qaida for a while! <br>See how my product is so versatile! </div><div style="margin:10px 0">For more details, <br>refer to the brochure or our website.<br>About this revolutionary product, <br>trust me, you’ll find everything you need.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Copyright © reserved by the author</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Amrit+Rathi">Amrit Rathi</a><div class=q>
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—Walt Kelley, Pogo
†

In major national newspapers
very soon, you will see my ad: 
thanks to years of research
and cutting-edge technology
a wonderful product, I’ve made, 

for committing suicide.
And ..."></div>
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