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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=544771" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Always Wanted To Wear Your Shoes</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">o sister o sister</div><div style="margin:10px 0">my beautiful and powerful big sister; </div><div style="margin:10px 0">i wish i knew you like i once did</div><div style="margin:10px 0">o sister o sister</div><div style="margin:10px 0">my wise and worldly big sister; </div><div style="margin:10px 0">i wish i knew the remedy for what has rent itself between us</div><div style="margin:10px 0">a thousand hateful things i've said to you; </div><div style="margin:10px 0">wish i knew how to soften those words</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I don't know what you mean by formal, not sure how to be formal</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I miss you </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and dare I say you were right in many ways</div><div style="margin:10px 0">are there amends for my intolerance of your menopause</div><div style="margin:10px 0">which is when know that things began to really fall apart </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and now, as i swallow black cohosh capsules </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and find myself yet again in a back against the wall situation; </div><div style="margin:10px 0">i'm wishing i'd ever learned to do things like you </div><div style="margin:10px 0">learned to make the best of things, </div><div style="margin:10px 0">find and develop my own creative spark</div><div style="margin:10px 0">& now there is no you to run to </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and i've yet again made choices without a backup plan.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">this seems to have become the pattern of my life</div><div style="margin:10px 0">never really finishing anything</div><div style="margin:10px 0">testing the waters here and there</div><div style="margin:10px 0">often trying to live up to you </div><div style="margin:10px 0">there were times when i wished u were my mother</div><div style="margin:10px 0">and even felt u were</div><div style="margin:10px 0">and now as tears begin to well </div><div style="margin:10px 0">i can't help wanting to reverse the clock</div><div style="margin:10px 0">though I'm I'd just react the same way</div><div style="margin:10px 0">so many little moments come flooding in </div><div style="margin:10px 0">I sat,8ish months pregnant, at my midwife visit</div><div style="margin:10px 0">staring at words on a memo she'd held in her hand</div><div style="margin:10px 0">sister called, requests that we urge mother to consider adoption, </div><div style="margin:10px 0">doesn't think she can handle motherhood </div><div style="margin:10px 0">or is ready for mother hood</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I don't remember the exact words.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I numbly said no, I didn't want adoption info</div><div style="margin:10px 0">feeling very sad</div><div style="margin:10px 0">feeling somehow rejected </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and so it seems I couldn't handle motherhood</div><div style="margin:10px 0">one of those midwives asked me, later, on my 6 week visit</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Are you starting to adjust to motherhood? '</div><div style="margin:10px 0">What? </div><div style="margin:10px 0">F*** no! I don't know what that means.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">but i said neither, wanly exhaustedly said, yes.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">no further questions.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And 12 years later, I've still not adjusted </div><div style="margin:10px 0">and that doesn't mean I am not madly in love with my son.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But I know you know that</div><div style="margin:10px 0">sister.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">My heart feels so lost and yet there are moments </div><div style="margin:10px 0">when I feel more powerful than I ever have.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I still keep feeling like I'm struggling to live up to you</div><div style="margin:10px 0">still see your face when someone speaks of heroes</div><div style="margin:10px 0">though I despise the word – and perhaps i've lived the reason why</div><div style="margin:10px 0">I see other faces but yours the brightest</div><div style="margin:10px 0">if not of late only because of my bitter anger</div><div style="margin:10px 0">my self torturing sense of betrayal</div><div style="margin:10px 0">just my feelings - not necessarily truth</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Im sorry that I always wanted to be you</div><div style="margin:10px 0">so much maybe that I even wanted to stamp you out.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>©December 2008</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Pilar+Mogollon">Pilar Mogollon</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=544771" data-title="Always Wanted To Wear Your Shoes de Pilar Mogollon" data-description="o sister o sister

my beautiful and powerful big sister; 

i wish i knew you like i once did

o sister o sister

my wise and worldly big sister; 

i wish i knew the remedy for what has rent itself between us

a thousand hateful things i've said to..."></div>
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