<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539071" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Trial by Jury</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">DRAMATIS PERSONAE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE LEARNED JUDGE<br>THE PLAINTIFF<br>THE DEFENDANT<br>COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF<br>USHER<br>FOREMAN OF THE JURY<br>ASSOCIATE<br>FIRST BRIDESMAID</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>SCENE - A Court of Justice, Barristers, Attorney, and Jurymen<br> discovered.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Hark, the hour of ten is sounding:<br> Hearts with anxious fears are bounding,<br> Hall of Justice, crowds surrounding,<br> Breathing hope and fear--<br> For to-day in this arena,<br> Summoned by a stern subpoena,<br> Edwin, sued by Angelina, <br> Shortly will appear.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Enter Usher</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> SOLO - USHER</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Now, Jurymen, hear my advice--<br> All kinds of vulgar prejudice<br> I pray you set aside:<br> With stern, judicial frame of mind<br> From bias free of every kind,<br> This trial must be tried.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> From bias free of every kind,<br> This trial must be tried.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[During Chorus, Usher sings fortissimo, &quot;Silence in Court!&quot;]</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER Oh, listen to the plaintiff's case:<br> Observe the features of her face--<br> The broken-hearted bride.<br> Condole with her distress of mind:<br> From bias free of every kind,<br> This trial must be tried!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS From bias free, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER And when, amid the plaintiff's shrieks,<br> The ruffianly defendant speaks--<br> Upon the other side;<br> What he may say you needn't mind---<br> From bias free of every kind,<br> This trial must be tried!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS From bias free, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Enter Defendant</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- DEFENDANT</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Is this the court of the Exchequer?<br>ALL. It is!<br>DEFENDANT (aside) Be firm, be firm, my pecker,<br> Your evil star's in the ascendant!<br>ALL. Who are you?<br>DEFENDANT. I'm the Defendant.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS OF JURYMEN (shaking their fists)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Monster, dread our damages.<br> We're the jury!<br> Dread our fury!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">DEFENDANT Hear me, hear me, if you please,<br> These are very strange proceedings--<br> For permit me to remark<br> On the merits of my pleadings,<br> You're at present in the dark.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[Defendant beckons to Jurymen--they leave the box and gather around<br> him as they sing the following:</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> That's a very true remark--<br> On the merits of his pleadings<br> We're at present in the dark!<br> Ha! ha!--ha! ha!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> SONG -- DEFENDANT</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> When first my old, old love I knew,<br> My bosom welled with joy;<br> My riches at her feet I threw--<br> I was a love-sick boy!<br> No terms seemed too extravagant<br> Upon her to employ--<br> I used to mope, and sigh, and pant,<br> Just like a love-sick boy!<br> Tink-a-tank! Tink-a-tank!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> But joy incessant palls the sense;<br> And love, unchanged, will cloy,<br> And she became a bore intense<br> Unto her love-sick boy!<br> With fitful glimmer burnt my flame,<br> And I grew cold and coy,<br> At last, one morning, I became<br> Another's love-sick boy.<br> Tink-a-tank! Tink-a-tank!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS OF JURYMEN (advancing stealthily)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Oh, I was like that when a lad!<br> A shocking young scamp of a rover,<br> I behaved like a regular cad;<br> But that sort of thing is all over.<br> I'm now a respectable chap<br> And shine with a virtue resplendent<br> And, therefore, I haven't a scrap<br> Of sympathy with the defendant!<br> He shall treat us with awe,<br> If there isn't a flaw,<br> Singing so merrily--Trial-la-law!<br> Trial-la-law! Trial-la-law!<br> Singing so merrily--Trial-la-law!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> [They enter the Jury-box.]</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT--USHER (on Bench)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Silence in Court, and all attention lend.<br> Behold your Judge! In due submission bend!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Enter Judge on Bench</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> All hail, great Judge!<br> To your bright rays<br> We never grudge<br> Ecstatic praise.<br> All hail!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> May each decree<br> As statute rank<br> And never be<br> Reversed in banc.<br> All hail!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br> RECIT--JUDGE</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> For these kind words, accept my thanks, I pray.<br> A Breach of Promise we've to try to-day.<br> But firstly, if the time you'll not begrudge,<br> I'll tell you how I came to be a Judge.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. He'll tell us how he came to be a Judge!<br>JUDGE. I'll tell you how...<br>ALL. He'll tell us how...<br>JUDGE. I'll tell you how...<br>ALL. He'll tell us how...<br>JUDGE Let me speak...!<br>ALL. Let him speak!<br>JUDGE. Let me speak!<br>ALL. (in a whisper). Let him speak!<br> He'll tell us how he came to be a Judge!<br>USHER. Silence in Court! Silence in Court!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> SONG--JUDGE</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> When I, good friends, was called to the bar,<br> I'd an appetite fresh and hearty.<br> But I was, as many young barristers are,<br> An impecunious party.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> I'd a swallow-tail coat of a beautiful blue--<br> And a brief which I bought of a booby--<br> A couple of shirts, and a collar or two,<br> And a ring that looked like a ruby!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS. A couple of shirts, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. At Westminster Hall I danced a dance,<br> Like a semi-despondent fury;<br> For I thought I never should hit on a chance<br> Of addressing a British Jury--<br> But I soon got tired of third-class journeys,<br> And dinners of bread and water;<br> So I fell in love with a rich attorney's<br> Elderly, ugly daughter.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS. So he fell in love, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. The rich attorney, he jumped with joy,<br> And replied to my fond professions:<br> &quot;You shall reap the reward of your pluck, my boy,<br> At the Bailey and Middlesex sessions.<br> You'll soon get used to her looks,&quot; said he,<br> &quot;And a very nice girl you will find her!<br> She may very well pass for forty-three<br> In the dusk, with a light behind her!&quot;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS. She may very well, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. The rich attorney was good as his word;<br> The briefs came trooping gaily,<br> And every day my voice was heard<br> At the Sessions or Ancient Bailey.<br> All thieves who could my fees afford<br> Relied on my orations.<br> And many a burglar I've restored<br> To his friends and his relations.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS. And many a burglar, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. At length I became as rich as the Gurneys--<br> An incubus then I thought her,<br> So I threw over that rich attorney's<br> Elderly, ugly daughter.<br> The rich attorney my character high<br> Tried vainly to disparage---<br> And now, if you please, I'm ready to try<br> This Breach of Promise of Marriage!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">CHORUS. And now if you please, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. For now I'm a Judge!<br>ALL. And a good Judge, too!<br>JUDGE. For now I'm a Judge!<br>ALL. And a good Judge, too!<br>JUDGE. Though all my law be fudge,<br> Yet I'll never, never budge,<br> But I'll live and die a Judge!<br>ALL. And a good Judge, too!<br>JUDGE (pianissimo). It was managed by a job--<br>ALL. And a good job, too!<br>JUDGE. It was managed by a job!<br>ALL. And a good job too!<br>JUDGE. It is patent to the mob,<br> That my being made a nob<br> Was effected by a job.<br>ALL. And a good job too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[Enter Counsel for Plaintiff. He takes his place in front row of<br> Counsel's seats</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- COUNSEL</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Swear thou the jury!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER. Kneel, Jurymen, oh, kneel!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[All the Jury kneel in the Jury-box, and so are hidden from<br> audience.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER. Oh, will you swear by yonder skies,<br> Whatever question may arise,<br> 'Twixt rich and poor, 'twixt low and high,<br> That you will well and truly try?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JURY (raising their hands, which alone are visible)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> To all of this we make reply<br> By the dull slate of yonder sky:<br> That we will well and truly try.<br> We'll try.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> (All rise with the last note)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- COUNSEL</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Where is the Plaintiff?<br> Let her now be brought.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- USHER</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Oh, Angelina! Come thou into Court!<br> Angelina! Angelina!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Enter the Bridesmaids</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Comes the broken flower--<br> Comes the cheated maid--<br> Though the tempest lower,<br> Rain and cloud will fade<br> Take, oh maid, these posies:<br> Though thy beauty rare<br> Shame the blushing roses,<br> They are passing fair!<br> Wear the flowers 'til they fade;<br> Happy be thy life, oh maid!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[The Judge, having taken a great fancy to First Bridesmaid, sends<br> her a note by Usher, which she reads, kisses rapturously,<br> and places in her bosom.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Enter Plaintiff</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> SOLO -- PLAINTIFF</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> O'er the season vernal,<br> Time may cast a shade;<br> Sunshine, if eternal,<br> Makes the roses fade!<br> Time may do his duty;<br> Let the thief alone--<br> Winter hath a beauty.<br> That is all his own.<br> Fairest days are sun and shade:<br> I am no unhappy maid!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[The Judge having by this time transferred his admiration to<br> Plaintiff, directs the Usher to take the note from First<br> Bridesmaid and hand it to Plaintiff, who reads it,<br> kisses it rapturously, and places it in her bosom. </div><div style="margin:10px 0"> CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Comes the broken flower, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Oh, never, never, never,<br> Since I joined the human race,<br> Saw I so excellently fair a face.<br>THE JURY (shaking their forefingers at him). Ah, sly dog!<br> Ah, sly dog!<br>JUDGE (to Jury). How say you?<br> Is she not designed for capture?<br>FOREMAN (after consulting with the Jury). We've but one word,<br> m'lud, and that is--Rapture!<br>PLAINTIFF (curtseying). Your kindness, gentlemen, quite<br> overpowers!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JURY. We love you fondly, and would make you ours!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">BRIDESMAIDS (shaking their forefingers at Jury).<br> Ah, sly dogs! Ah, sly dogs!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- COUNSEL for PLAINTIFF</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> May it please you, m'lud!<br> Gentlemen of the jury!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ARIA -- COUNSEL</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> With a sense of deep emotion,<br> I approach this painful case;<br> For I never had a notion<br> That a man could be so base,<br> Or deceive a girl confiding,<br> Vows, etcetera deriding.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. He deceived a girl confiding,<br> Vows, etcetera, deriding.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[Plaintiff falls sobbing on Counsel's breast and remains there.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. See my interesting client,<br> Victim of a heartless wile!<br> See the traitor all defiant<br> Wear a supercilious smile!<br> Sweetly smiled my client on him,<br> Coyly woo'd and gently won him.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. Sweetly smiled, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. Swiftly fled each honeyed hour<br> Spent with this unmanly male!<br> Camberwell became a bow'r,<br> Peckham an Arcadian Vale,<br> Breathing concentrated otto!--<br> An existence … la Watteau.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. Bless, us, concentrated otto! etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. Picture, then, my client naming,<br> And insisting on the day:<br> Picture him excuses framing--<br> Going from her far away;<br> Doubly criminal to do so,<br> For the maid had bought her trousseau!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. Doubly criminal, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br> COUNSEL (to Plaintiff, who weeps)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Cheer up, my pretty--oh, cheer up!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JURY. Cheer up, cheer up, we love you!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[Counsel leads Plaintiff fondly into Witness-box; he takes a tender<br> leave of her, and resumes his place in Court.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> (Plaintiff reels as if about to faint)</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. That she is reeling<br> Is plain to see!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">FOREMAN. If faint you're feeling<br> Recline on me!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> [She falls sobbing on to the Foreman's breast.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PLAINTIFF (feebly). I shall recover<br> If left alone.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. (shaking their fists at Defendant)<br> Oh, perjured lover,<br> Atone! atone!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">FOREMAN. Just like a father [Kissing her<br> I wish to be.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. (approaching her)<br> Or, if you'd rather,<br> Recline on me!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[She jumps on to Bench, sits down by the Judge, and falls sobbing<br> on his breast.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. Oh! fetch some water<br> From far Cologne!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. For this sad slaughter<br> Atone! atone!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JURY. (shaking fists at Defendant)<br> Monster, monster, dread our fury--<br> There's the Judge, and we're the Jury!<br> Come! Substantial damages,<br> Dam---</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER. Silence in Court!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> SONG -- DEFENDANT</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Oh, gentlemen, listen, I pray,<br> Though I own that my heart has been ranging,<br> Of nature the laws I obey,<br> For nature is constantly changing.<br> The moon in her phases is found,<br> The time, and the wind, and the weather.<br> The months in succession come round,<br> And you don't find two Mondays together.<br> Consider the moral, I pray,<br> Nor bring a young fellow to sorrow,<br> Who loves this young lady to-day,<br> And loves that young lady to-morrow.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">BRIDESMAIDS (rushing forward, and kneeling to Jury).</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Consider the moral, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> One cannot eat breakfast all day,<br> Nor is it the act of a sinner,<br> When breakfast is taken away,<br> To turn his attention to dinner.<br> And it's not in the range of belief,<br> To look upon him as a glutton,<br> Who, when he is tired of beef,<br> Determines to tackle the mutton.<br> But this I am willing to say,<br> If it will appease her sorrow,<br> I'll marry this lady to-day,<br> And I'll marry the other to-morrow.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">BRIDESMAIDS (rushing forward as before)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> But this he is willing say, etc.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- JUDGE</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> That seems a reasonable proposition,<br> To which, I think, your client may agree.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL<br> But I submit, m'lud, with all submission,<br> To marry two at once is Burglaree!<br> [Referring to law book.<br> In the reign of James the Second,<br> It was generally reckoned<br> As a rather serious crime<br> To marry two wives at a time.<br> [Hands book up to Judge, who reads it.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. Oh, man of learning!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> QUARTETTE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. A nice dilemma we have here,<br> That calls for all our wit:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. And at this stage, it don't appear<br> That we can settle it.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">DEFENDANT (in Witness-box).<br> If I to wed the girl am loth<br> A breach 'twill surely be--</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PLAINTIFF. And if he goes and marries both,<br> It counts as Burglaree!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. A nice dilemma we have here,<br> That calls for all our wit.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> DUET -- PLAINTIFF and DEFENDANT</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> PLAINTIFF (embracing him rapturously)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> I love him--I love him--with fervour unceasing<br> I worship and madly adore;<br> My blind adoration is ever increasing,<br> My loss I shall ever deplore.<br> Oh, see what a blessing, what love and caressing<br> I've lost, and remember it, pray,<br> When you I'm addressing, are busy assessing<br> The damages Edwin must pay---<br> Yes, he must pay!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> DEFENDANT (repelling her furiously)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> I smoke like a furnace--I'm always in liquor,<br> A ruffian--a bully--a sot;<br> I'm sure I should thrash her, perhaps I should kick her,<br> I am such a very bad lot!<br> I'm not prepossessing, as you may be guessing,<br> She couldn't endure me a day!<br> Recall my professing, when you are assessing<br> The damages Edwin must pay!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PLAINTIFF. Yes, he must pay!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[She clings to him passionately; after a struggle, he throws her<br> off into arms of Counsel.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JURY. We would be fairly acting,<br> But this is most distracting!<br> If, when in liquor he would kick her,<br> That is an abatement.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> RECIT -- JUDGE</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> The question, gentlemen--is one of liquor.<br> You ask for guidance--this is my reply:<br> He says, when tipsy, he would thrash and kick her.<br> Let's make him tipsy, gentlemen, and try!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. With all respect,<br> I do object!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PLAINTIFF. I do object!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">DEFENDANT. I don't object!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. With all respect<br> We do object!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> JUDGE (tossing his books and paper about)</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> All the legal furies seize you!<br> No proposal seems to please you,<br> I can't sit up here all day,<br> I must shortly get away.<br> Barristers, and you, attorneys,<br> Set out on your homeward journeys;<br> Gentle, simple-minded Usher,<br> Get you, if you like, to Russher;<br> Put your briefs upon the shelf,<br> I will marry her myself!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">[He comes down from Bench to floor of Court. He embraces<br> Angelina.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> FINALE</div><div style="margin:10px 0">PLAINTIFF. Oh, joy unbounded, <br> With wealth surrounded,<br> The knell is sounded<br> Of grief and woe.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">COUNSEL. With love devoted<br> On you he's doated,<br> To castle moated<br> Away they go.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">DEFENDANT. I wonder whether<br> They'll live together,<br> In marriage tether<br> In manner true?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">USHER. It seems to me, sir,<br> Of such as she, sir,<br> A Judge is he, sir,<br> And a good Judge, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Yes, I am a Judge!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a good Judge, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Yes, I am a Judge!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a good Judge, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Though homeward as you trudge,<br> You declare my law is fudge.<br> Yet of beauty I'm a judge.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a good Judge too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Though defendant is a snob,</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a great snob, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Though defendant is a snob,</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a great snob, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">JUDGE. Though defendant is a snob,<br> I'll reward him from his fob.<br> So we've settled with the job,</div><div style="margin:10px 0">ALL. And a good job, too!</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br> CURTAIN</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=William+Schwenck+Gilbert">William Schwenck Gilbert</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539071" data-title="Trial by Jury de William Schwenck Gilbert" data-description="DRAMATIS PERSONAE THE LEARNED JUDGE THE PLAINTIFF THE DEFENDANT COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF USHER FOREMAN OF THE JURY ASSOCIATE FIRST BRIDESMAID SCENE - A Court of Justice, Barristers, Attorney, and Jurymen discovered. CHORUS Hark, the hour..."></div> </div> </div>

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