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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539057" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Two Majors</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">An excellent soldier who's worthy the name<br>Loves officers dashing and strict:<br>When good, he's content with escaping all blame,<br>When naughty, he likes to be licked.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed,<br>Or imprisoned for several days,<br>And hates, for a duty correctly performed,<br>To be slavered with sickening praise.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">No officer sickened with praises his CORPS<br>So little as MAJOR LA GUERRE -<br>No officer swore at his warriors more<br>Than MAJOR MAKREDI PREPERE.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Their soldiers adored them, and every grade<br>Delighted to hear their abuse;<br>Though whenever these officers came on parade<br>They shivered and shook in their shoes.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">For, oh! if LA GUERRE could all praises withhold,<br>Why, so could MAKREDI PREPERE,<br>And, oh! if MAKREDI could bluster and scold,<br>Why, so could the mighty LA GUERRE.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"No doubt we deserve it - no mercy we crave -<br>Go on - you're conferring a boon;<br>We would rather be slanged by a warrior brave,<br>Than praised by a wretched poltroon!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">MAKREDI would say that in battle's fierce rage<br>True happiness only was met:<br>Poor MAJOR MAKREDI, though fifty his age,<br>Had never known happiness yet!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">LA GUERRE would declare, "With the blood of a foe<br>No tipple is worthy to clink."<br>Poor fellow! he hadn't, though sixty or so,<br>Yet tasted his favourite drink!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">They agreed at their mess - they agreed in the glass -<br>They agreed in the choice of their "set,"<br>And they also agreed in adoring, alas!<br>The Vivandiere, pretty FILLETTE.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Agreement, you see, may be carried too far,<br>And after agreeing all round<br>For years - in this soldierly "maid of the bar,"<br>A bone of contention they found!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">It may seem improper to call such a pet -<br>By a metaphor, even - a bone;<br>But though they agreed in adoring her, yet<br>Each wanted to make her his own.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"On the day that you marry her," muttered PREPERE<br>(With a pistol he quietly played),<br>"I'll scatter the brains in your noddle, I swear,<br>All over the stony parade!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"I cannot do THAT to you," answered LA GUERRE,<br>"Whatever events may befall;<br>But this I CAN do - IF YOU wed her, MON CHER!<br>I'll eat you, moustachios and all!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The rivals, although they would never engage,<br>Yet quarrelled whenever they met;<br>They met in a fury and left in a rage,<br>But neither took pretty FILLETTE.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"I am not afraid," thought MAKREDI PREPERE:<br>"For country I'm ready to fall;<br>But nobody wants, for a mere Vivandiere,<br>To be eaten, moustachios and all!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Besides, though LA GUERRE has his faults, I'll allow<br>He's one of the bravest of men:<br>My goodness! if I disagree with him now,<br>I might disagree with him then."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"No coward am I," said LA GUERRE, "as you guess -<br>I sneer at an enemy's blade;<br>But I don't want PREPERE to get into a mess<br>For splashing the stony parade!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">One day on parade to PREPERE and LA GUERRE<br>Came CORPORAL JACOT DEBETTE,<br>And trembling all over, he prayed of them there<br>To give him the pretty FILLETTE.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"You see, I am willing to marry my bride<br>Until you've arranged this affair;<br>I will blow out my brains when your honours decide<br>Which marries the sweet Vivandiere!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Well, take her,' said both of them in a duet<br>(A favourite form of reply),<br>"But when I am ready to marry FILLETTE.<br>Remember you've promised to die!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He married her then: from the flowery plains<br>Of existence the roses they cull:<br>He lived and he died with his wife; and his brains<br>Are reposing in peace in his skull.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=William+Schwenck+Gilbert">William Schwenck Gilbert</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539057" data-title="The Two Majors de William Schwenck Gilbert" data-description="An excellent soldier who's worthy the name Loves officers dashing and strict: When good, he's content with escaping all blame, When naughty, he likes to be licked. He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed, Or imprisoned for several days, An..."></div> </div> </div>
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