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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539044" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Rival Curates</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">List while the poet trolls<br>Of MR. CLAYTON HOOPER,<br>Who had a cure of souls<br>At Spiffton-extra-Sooper.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He lived on curds and whey,<br>And daily sang their praises,<br>And then he'd go and play<br>With buttercups and daisies.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Wild croquet HOOPER banned,<br>And all the sports of Mammon,<br>He warred with cribbage, and<br>He exorcised backgammon.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His helmet was a glance<br>That spoke of holy gladness;<br>A saintly smile his lance;<br>His shield a tear of sadness.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His Vicar smiled to see<br>This armour on him buckled:<br>With pardonable glee<br>He blessed himself and chuckled.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;In mildness to abound<br>My curate's sole design is;<br>In all the country round<br>There's none so mild as mine is!&quot;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And HOOPER, disinclined<br>His trumpet to be blowing,<br>Yet didn't think you'd find<br>A milder curate going.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">A friend arrived one day<br>At Spiffton-extra-Sooper,<br>And in this shameful way<br>He spoke to Mr. HOOPER:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;You think your famous name<br>For mildness can't be shaken,<br>That none can blot your fame -<br>But, HOOPER, you're mistaken!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;Your mind is not as blank<br>As that of HOPLEY PORTER,<br>Who holds a curate's rank<br>At Assesmilk-cum-Worter.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;HE plays the airy flute,<br>And looks depressed and blighted,<br>Doves round about him 'toot,'<br>And lambkins dance delighted.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;HE labours more than you<br>At worsted work, and frames it;<br>In old maids' albums, too,<br>Sticks seaweed - yes, and names it!&quot;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The tempter said his say,<br>Which pierced him like a needle -<br>He summoned straight away<br>His sexton and his beadle.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">(These men were men who could<br>Hold liberal opinions:<br>On Sundays they were good -<br>On week-days they were minions.)</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;To HOPLEY PORTER go,<br>Your fare I will afford you -<br>Deal him a deadly blow,<br>And blessings shall reward you.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;But stay - I do not like<br>Undue assassination,<br>And so before you strike,<br>Make this communication:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;I'll give him this one chance -<br>If he'll more gaily bear him,<br>Play croquet, smoke, and dance,<br>I willingly will spare him.&quot;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">They went, those minions true,<br>To Assesmilk-cum-Worter,<br>And told their errand to<br>The REVEREND HOPLEY PORTER.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;What?&quot; said that reverend gent,<br>&quot;Dance through my hours of leisure?<br>Smoke? - bathe myself with scent? -<br>Play croquet? Oh, with pleasure!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;Wear all my hair in curl?<br>Stand at my door and wink - so -<br>At every passing girl?<br>My brothers, I should think so!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">&quot;For years I've longed for some<br>Excuse for this revulsion:<br>Now that excuse has come -<br>I do it on compulsion!!!&quot;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He smoked and winked away -<br>This REVEREND HOPLEY PORTER -<br>The deuce there was to pay<br>At Assesmilk-cum-Worter.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And HOOPER holds his ground,<br>In mildness daily growing -<br>They think him, all around,<br>The mildest curate going.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=William+Schwenck+Gilbert">William Schwenck Gilbert</a><div class=q>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539044" data-title="The Rival Curates de William Schwenck Gilbert" data-description="List while the poet trolls
Of MR. CLAYTON HOOPER,
Who had a cure of souls
At Spiffton-extra-Sooper.

He lived on curds and whey,
And daily sang their praises,
And then he'd go and play
With buttercups and daisies.

Wild croquet HOOPER banned,
And ..."></div>
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