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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539042" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>The Reverend Simon Magus</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">A rich advowson, highly prized,<br>For private sale was advertised;<br>And many a parson made a bid;<br>The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He sought the agent's: "Agent, I<br>Have come prepared at once to buy<br>(If your demand is not too big)<br>The Cure of Otium-cum-Digge."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Ah!" said the agent, "THERE'S a berth -<br>The snuggest vicarage on earth;<br>No sort of duty (so I hear),<br>And fifteen hundred pounds a year!</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"If on the price we should agree,<br>The living soon will vacant be;<br>The good incumbent's ninety five,<br>And cannot very long survive.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">See - here's his photograph - you see,<br>He's in his dotage." "Ah, dear me!<br>Poor soul!" said SIMON. "His decease<br>Would be a merciful release!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The agent laughed - the agent blinked -<br>The agent blew his nose and winked -<br>And poked the parson's ribs in play -<br>It was that agent's vulgar way.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The REVEREND SIMON frowned: "I grieve<br>This light demeanour to perceive;<br>It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT, I think:<br>Now - pray oblige me - do not wink.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Don't dig my waistcoat into holes -<br>Your mission is to sell the souls<br>Of human sheep and human kids<br>To that divine who highest bids.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Do well in this, and on your head<br>Unnumbered honours will be shed."<br>The agent said, "Well, truth to tell,<br>I HAVE been doing very well."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"You should," said SIMON, "at your age;<br>But now about the parsonage.<br>How many rooms does it contain?<br>Show me the photograph again.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"A poor apostle's humble house<br>Must not be too luxurious;<br>No stately halls with oaken floor -<br>It should be decent and no more.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">" No billiard-rooms - no stately trees -<br>No croquet-grounds or pineries."<br>"Ah!" sighed the agent, "very true:<br>This property won't do for you."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"All these about the house you'll find." -<br>"Well," said the parson, "never mind;<br>I'll manage to submit to these<br>Luxurious superfluities.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"A clergyman who does not shirk<br>The various calls of Christian work,<br>Will have no leisure to employ<br>These 'common forms' of worldly joy.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"To preach three times on Sabbath days -<br>To wean the lost from wicked ways -<br>The sick to soothe - the sane to wed -<br>The poor to feed with meat and bread;</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"These are the various wholesome ways<br>In which I'll spend my nights and days:<br>My zeal will have no time to cool<br>At croquet, archery, or pool."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The agent said, "From what I hear,<br>This living will not suit, I fear -<br>There are no poor, no sick at all;<br>For services there is no call."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The reverend gent looked grave, "Dear me!<br>Then there is NO 'society'? -<br>I mean, of course, no sinners there<br>Whose souls will be my special care?"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The cunning agent shook his head,<br>"No, none - except" - (the agent said) -<br>"The DUKE OF A., the EARL OF B.,<br>The MARQUIS C., and VISCOUNT D.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"But you will not be quite alone,<br>For though they've chaplains of their own,<br>Of course this noble well-bred clan<br>Receive the parish clergyman."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Oh, silence, sir!" said SIMON M.,<br>"Dukes - Earls! What should I care for them?<br>These worldly ranks I scorn and flout!"<br>"Of course," the agent said, "no doubt!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Yet I might show these men of birth<br>The hollowness of rank on earth."<br>The agent answered, "Very true -<br>But I should not, if I were you."</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"Who sells this rich advowson, pray?"<br>The agent winked - it was his way -<br>"His name is HART; 'twixt me and you,<br>He is, I'm grieved to say, a Jew!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0">"A Jew?" said SIMON, "happy find!<br>I purchase this advowson, mind.<br>My life shall be devoted to<br>Converting that unhappy Jew!"</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=William+Schwenck+Gilbert">William Schwenck Gilbert</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=539042" data-title="The Reverend Simon Magus de William Schwenck Gilbert" data-description="A rich advowson, highly prized, For private sale was advertised; And many a parson made a bid; The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did. He sought the agent's: "Agent, I Have come prepared at once to buy (If your demand is not too big) The Cure of Otium..."></div> </div> </div>
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