<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=512561" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto III</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE ARGUMENT</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The scatter'd rout return and rally,<br>Surround the place; the Knight does sally,<br>And is made pris'ner: Then they seize<br>Th' inchanted fort by storm; release<br>Crowdero, and put the Squire in's place;<br>I should have first said Hudibras.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Ah me! what perils do environ<br>The man that meddles with cold iron!<br>What plaguy mischiefs and mishaps<br>Do dog him still with after-claps!<br>For though dame Fortune seem to smile <br>And leer upon him for a while,<br>She'll after shew him, in the nick<br>Of all his glories, a dog-trick.<br>This any man may sing or say,<br>I' th' ditty call'd, What if a Day?<br>For HUDIBRAS, who thought h' had won<br>The field, as certain as a gun;<br>And having routed the whole troop,<br>With victory was cock a-hoop;<br>Thinking h' had done enough to purchase <br>Thanksgiving-day among the Churches,<br>Wherein his mettle, and brave worth,<br>Might be explain'd by Holder-forth,<br>And register'd, by fame eternal,<br>In deathless pages of diurnal; <br>Found in few minutes, to his cost,<br>He did but count without his host;<br>And that a turn-stile is more certain<br>Than, in events of war, dame Fortune.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">For now the late faint-hearted rout, <br>O'erthrown, and scatter'd round about,<br>Chas'd by the horror of their fear<br>From bloody fray of Knight and Bear,<br>(All but the dogs, who, in pursuit<br>Of the Knight's victory, stood to't,<br>And most ignobly fought to get<br>The honour of his blood and sweat,)<br>Seeing the coast was free and clear<br>O' th' conquer'd and the conqueror,<br>Took heart again, and fac'd about, <br>As if they meant to stand it out:<br>For by this time the routed Bear,<br>Attack'd by th' enemy i' th' rear,<br>Finding their number grew too great<br>For him to make a safe retreat, <br>Like a bold chieftain, fac'd about;<br>But wisely doubting to hold out,<br>Gave way to Fortune, and with haste<br>Fac'd the proud foe, and fled, and fac'd;<br>Retiring still, until he found <br>H' had got the advantage of the ground;<br>And then as valiantly made head<br>To check the foe, and forthwith fled;<br>Leaving no art untry'd, nor trick<br>Of warrior stout and politick, <br>Until, in spite of hot pursuit,<br>He gain'd a pass to hold dispute<br>On better terms, and stop the course<br>Of the proud foe. With all his force<br>He bravely charg'd, and for a while<br>Forc'd their whole body to recoil;<br>But still their numbers so increas'd,<br>He found himself at length oppress'd,<br>And all evasions, so uncertain,<br>To save himself for better fortune, <br>That he resolv'd, rather than yield,<br>To die with honour in the field,<br>And sell his hide and carcase at<br>A price as high and desperate<br>As e'er he could. This resolution <br>He forthwith put in execution,<br>And bravely threw himself among<br>The enemy i' th' greatest throng.<br>But what cou'd single valour do<br>Against so numerous a foe? <br>Yet much he did indeed, too much<br>To be believ'd, where th' odds were such.<br>But one against a multitude<br>Is more than mortal can make good.<br>For while one party he oppos'd,<br>His rear was suddenly inclos'd;<br>And no room left him for retreat,<br>Or fight against a foe so great.<br>For now the mastives, charging home,<br>To blows and handy gripes were come: <br>While manfully himself he bore,<br>And setting his right-foot before,<br>He rais'd himself, to shew how tall<br>His person was above them all.<br>This equal shame and envy stirr'd <br>In th' enemy, that one should beard<br>So many warriors, and so stout,<br>As he had done, and stav'd it out,<br>Disdaining to lay down his arms,<br>And yield on honourable terms.<br>Enraged thus, some in the rear<br>Attack'd him, and some ev'ry where,<br>Till down he fell; yet falling fought,<br>And, being down, still laid about;<br>As WIDDRINGTON, in doleful dumps, <br>Is said to light upon his stumps.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But all, alas! had been in vain,<br>And he inevitably slain,<br>If TRULLA and CERDON, in the nick,<br>To rescue him had not been quick; <br>For TRULLA, who was light of foot<br>As shafts which long-field Parthians shoot,<br>(But not so light as to be borne<br>Upon the ears of standing corn,<br>Or trip it o'er the water quicker <br>Than witches, when their staves they liquor,<br>As some report,) was got among<br>The foremost of the martial throng;<br>There pitying the vanquish'd Bear,<br>She call'd to CERDON, who stood near,<br>Viewing the bloody fight; to whom,<br>Shall we (quoth she) stand still hum-drum,<br>And see stout Bruin all alone,<br>By numbers basely overthrown?<br>Such feats already h' has atchiev'd, <br>In story not to be believ'd;<br>And 'twould to us be shame enough,<br>Not to attempt to fetch him off.<br>I would (quoth he) venture a limb<br>To second thee, and rescue him: <br>But then we must about it straight,<br>Or else our aid will come too late.<br>Quarter he scorns, he is so stout,<br>And therefore cannot long hold out.<br>This said, they wav'd their weapons round <br>About their heads, to clear the ground;<br>And joining forces, laid about<br>So fiercely, that th' amazed rout<br>Turn'd tale again, and straight begun,<br>As if the Devil drove, to run.<br>Meanwhile th' approach'd th' place where Bruin<br>Was now engag'd to mortal ruin.<br>The conqu'ring foe they soon assail'd;<br>First TRULLA stav'd, and CERDON tail'd,<br>Until their mastives loos'd their hold:<br>And yet, alas! do what they could,<br>The worsted Bear came off with store<br>Of bloody wounds, but all before:<br>For as ACHILLES, dipt in pond,<br>Was ANABAPTIZ'D free from wound, <br>Made proof against dead-doing steel<br>All over, but the Pagan heel;<br>So did our champion's arms defend<br>All of him, but the other end,<br>His head and ears, which, in the martial <br>Encounter, lost a leathern parcel<br>For as an Austrian Archduke once<br>Had one ear (which in ducatoons<br>Is half the coin) in battle par'd<br>Close to his head, so Bruin far'd; <br>But tugg'd and pull'd on th' other side,<br>Like scriv'ner newly crucify'd;<br>Or like the late corrected leathern<br>Ears of the Circumcised Brethren.<br>But gentle TRULLA into th' ring <br>He wore in's nose convey'd a string,<br>With which she march'd before, and led<br>The warrior to a grassy bed,<br>As authors write, in a cool shade,<br>Which eglantine and roses made; <br>Close by a softly murm'ring stream,<br>Where lovers us'd to loll and dream.<br>There leaving him to his repose,<br>Secured from pursuit of foes,<br>And wanting nothing but a song,<br>And a well-tun'd theorbo hung<br>Upon a bough, to ease the pain<br>His tugg'd ears suffer'd, with a strain,<br>They both drew up, to march in quest<br>Of his great leader and the rest. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">For ORSIN (who was more renown'd<br>For stout maintaining of his ground<br>In standing fight, than for pursuit,<br>As being not so quick of foot)<br>Was not long able to keep pace<br>With others that pursu'd the chace;<br>But found himself left far behind,<br>Both out of heart and out of wind:<br>Griev'd to behold his Bear pursu'd<br>So basely by a multitude; <br>And like to fall, not by the prowess,<br>But numbers of his coward foes.<br>He rag'd, and kept as heavy a coil as<br>Stout HERCULES for loss of HYLAS;<br>Forcing the vallies to repeat <br>The accents of his sad regret.<br>He beat his breast, and tore his hair,<br>For loss of his dear Crony Bear;<br>That Eccho, from the hollow ground,<br>His doleful wailings did resound <br>More wistfully, by many times,<br>Than in small poets splay-foot rhimes<br>That make her, in their rueful stories<br>To answer to int'rogatories,<br>And most unconscionably depose<br>To things of which she nothing knows;<br>And when she has said all she can say,<br>'Tis wrested to the lover's fancy.<br>Quoth he, O whither, wicked Bruin<br>Art thou fled to my - Eccho, Ruin? <br>I thought th' hadst scorn'd to budge a step<br>For fear. (Quoth Eccho) Marry guep.<br>Am not I here to take thy part?<br>Then what has quelled thy stubborn heart?<br>Have these bones rattled, and this head <br>So often in thy quarrel bled?<br>Nor did I ever winch or grudge it,<br>For thy dear sake. (Quoth she) Mum budget<br>Think'st thou 'twill not be laid i' th' dish<br>Thou turn'dst thy back? Quoth Eccho, Fish.<br>To run from those t'hast overcome<br>Thus cowardly? Quoth Eccho, Mum.<br>But what a vengeance makes thee fly<br>From me too, as thine enemy?<br>Or if thou hast no thought of me,<br>Nor what I have endur'd for thee,<br>Yet shame and honour might prevail<br>To keep thee thus from turning tail:<br>For who would grudge to spend his blood in<br>His honour's cause? Quoth she, A puddin. <br>This said, his grief to anger turn'd,<br>Which in his manly stomach burn'd;<br>Thirst of revenge, and wrath, in place<br>Of sorrow, now began to blaze.<br>He vow'd the authors of his woe <br>Should equal vengeance undergo;<br>And with their bones and flesh pay dear<br>For what he suffer'd, and his Bear.<br>This b'ing resolv'd, with equal speed<br>And rage he hasted to proceed <br>To action straight, and giving o'er<br>To search for Bruin any more,<br>He went in quest of HUDIBRAS,<br>To find him out where-e'er he was;<br>And, if he were above ground, vow'd <br>He'd ferret him, lurk where be wou'd.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But scarce had he a furlong on<br>This resolute adventure gone,<br>When he encounter'd with that crew<br>Whom HUDIBRAS did late subdue. <br>Honour, revenge, contempt, and shame,<br>Did equally their breasts inflame.<br>'Mong these the fierce MAGNANO was,<br>And TALGOL, foe to HUDIBRAS;<br>CERDON and COLON, warriors stout,<br>As resolute, as ever fought;<br>Whom furious ORSIN thus bespoke:<br>Shall we (quoth be) thus basely brook<br>The vile affront that paltry ass,<br>And feeble scoundrel, HUDIBRAS, <br>With that more paltry ragamuffin,<br>RALPHO, with vapouring and huffing,<br>Have put upon us like tame cattle,<br>As if th' had routed us in battle?<br>For my part, it shall ne'er be said, <br>I for the washing gave my bead:<br>Nor did I turn my back for fear<br>O' th' rascals, but loss of my Bear,<br>Which now I'm like to undergo;<br>For whether those fell wounds, or no <br>He has receiv'd in fight, are mortal,<br>Is more than all my skill can foretell<br>Nor do I know what is become<br>Of him, more than the Pope of Rome.<br>But if I can but find them out<br>That caus'd it (as I shall, no doubt,<br>Where-e'er th' in hugger-mugger lurk)<br>I'll make them rue their handy-work;<br>And wish that they had rather dar'd<br>To pull the Devil by the beard. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth CERD0N, Noble ORSIN, th' hast<br>Great reason to do as thou say'st,<br>And so has ev'ry body here,<br>As well as thou hast, or thy Bear.<br>Others may do as they see good; <br>But if this twig be made of wood<br>That will hold tack, I'll make the fur<br>Fly 'bout the ears of that old cur;<br>And the other mungrel vermin, RALPH,<br>That brav'd us all in his behalf.<br>Thy Bear is safe, and out of peril,<br>Though lugg'd indeed, and wounded very ill;<br>Myself and TRULLA made a shift<br>To help him out at a dead lift;<br>And, having brought him bravely off, <br>Have left him where he's safe enough:<br>There let him rest; for if we stay,<br>The slaves may hap to get away.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, they all engag'd to join<br>Their forces in the same design;<br>And forthwith put themselves in search<br>Of HUDIBRAS upon their march.<br>Where leave we awhile, to tell<br>What the victorious knight befel.<br>For such, CROWDERO being fast <br>In dungeon shut, we left him last.<br>Triumphant laurels seem'd to grow<br>No where so green as on his brow;<br>Laden with which, as well as tir'd<br>With conquering toil, he now retir'd <br>Unto a neighb'ring castle by,<br>To rest his body, and apply<br>Fit med'cines to each glorious bruise<br>He got in fight, reds, blacks, and blues,<br>To mollify th' uneasy pang <br>Of ev'ry honourable bang,<br>Which b'ing by skilful midwife drest,<br>He laid him down to take his rest.<br>But all in vain. H' had got a hurt<br>O' th' inside, of a deadlier sort, <br>By CUPID made, who took his stand<br>Upon a Widow's jointure land,<br>(For he, in all his am'rous battels,<br>No 'dvantage finds like goods and chattels,)<br>Drew home his bow, and, aiming right, <br>Let fly an arrow at the Knight:<br>The shaft against a rib did glance,<br>And gall'd him in the purtenance.<br>But time had somewhat 'swag'd his pain,<br>After he found his suit in vain. <br>For that proud dame, for whom his soul<br>Was burnt in's belly like a coal,<br>(That belly which so oft did ake<br>And suffer griping for her sake,<br>Till purging comfits and ants-eggs <br>Had almost brought him off his legs,)<br>Us'd him so like a base rascallion,<br>That old Pyg - (what d'y' call him) malion,<br>That cut his mistress out of stone,<br>Had not so hard a-hearted one. <br>She had a thousand jadish tricks,<br>Worse than a mule that flings and kicks;<br>'Mong which one cross-grain'd freak she had,<br>As insolent as strange and mad;<br>She could love none, but only such <br>As scorn'd and hated her as much.<br>'Twas a strange riddle of a lady:<br>Not love, if any lov'd her! Hey dey!<br>So cowards never use their might,<br>But against such as will not fight; <br>So some diseases have been found<br>Only to seize upon the sound.<br>He that gets her by heart, must say her<br>The back way, like a witch's prayer.<br>Mean while the Knight had no small task <br>To compass what he durst not ask.<br>He loves, but dares not make the motion;<br>Her ignorance is his devotion:<br>Like caitiff vile, that, for misdeed,<br>Rides with his face to rump of steed, <br>Or rowing scull, he's fain to love,<br>Look one way, and another move;<br>Or like a tumbler, that does play<br>His game, and look another way,<br>Until he seize upon the cony; <br>Just so he does by matrimony:<br>But all in vain; her subtle snout<br>Did quickly wind his meaning out;<br>Which she return'd with too much scorn<br>To be by man of honour borne: <br>Yet much he bore, until the distress<br>He suffer'd from his spightful mistress<br>Did stir his stomach; and the pain<br>He had endur'd from her disdain,<br>Turn'd to regret so resolute, <br>That he resolv'd to wave his suit,<br>And either to renounce her quite,<br>Or for a while play least in sight.<br>This resolution b'ing put on,<br>He kept some months, and more had done; <br>But being brought so nigh by Fate,<br>The victory he atchiev'd so late<br>Did set his thoughts agog, and ope<br>A door to discontinu'd hope,<br>That seem'd to promise he might win <br>His dame too, now his hand was in;<br>And that his valour, and the honour<br>H' had newly gain'd, might work upon her.<br>These reasons made his mouth to water<br>With am'rous longings to be at her. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth he, unto himself, Who knows,<br>But this brave conquest o'er my foes<br>May reach her heart, and make that stoop,<br>As I but now have forc'd the troop?<br>If nothing can oppugn love, <br>And virtue invious ways can prove,<br>What may he not confide to do<br>That brings both love and virtue too?<br>But thou bring'st valour too and wit;<br>Two things that seldom fail to hit.<br>Valour's a mouse-trap, wit a gin,<br>Which women oft are taken in.<br>Then, HUDIBRAS, why should'st thou fear<br>To be, that art a conqueror?<br>Fortune th' audacious doth juvare, <br>But lets the timidous miscarry.<br>Then while the honour thou hast got<br>Is spick and span new, piping hot,<br>Strike her up bravely, thou hadst best,<br>And trust thy fortune with the rest.<br>Such thoughts as these the Knight did keep,<br>More than his bangs or fleas, from sleep.<br>And as an owl, that in a barn<br>Sees a mouse creeping in the corn,<br>Sits still, and shuts his round blue eyes,<br>As if he slept, until he spies<br>The little beast within his reach,<br>Then starts, and seizes on the wretch;<br>So from his couch the Knight did start<br>To seize upon the widow's heart; <br>Crying with hasty tone, and hoarse,<br>RALPHO, dispatch; To Horse, To Horse.<br>And 'twas but time; for now the rout,<br>We left engag'd to seek him out,<br>By speedy marches, were advanc'd <br>Up to the fort, where he ensconc'd;<br>And all th' avenues had possest<br>About the place, from east to west.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">That done, a while they made a halt,<br>To view the ground, and where t' assault: <br>Then call'd a council, which was best,<br>By siege or onslaught, to invest<br>The enemy; and 'twas agreed,<br>By storm and onslaught to proceed.<br>This b'ing resolv'd, in comely sort <br>They now drew up t' attack the fort;<br>When HUDIBRAS, about to enter<br>Upon another-gates adventure,<br>To RALPHO call'd aloud to arm,<br>Not dreaming of approaching storm. <br>Whether Dame Fortune, or the care<br>Of Angel bad or tutelar,<br>Did arm, or thrust him on a danger<br>To which he was an utter stranger;<br>That foresight might, or might not, blot<br>The glory he had newly got;<br>For to his shame it might be said,<br>They took him napping in his bed;<br>To them we leave it to expound,<br>That deal in sciences profound. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">His courser scarce he had bestrid,<br>And RALPHO that on which he rid,<br>When setting ope the postern gate,<br>Which they thought best to sally at,<br>The foe appear'd, drawn up and drill'd, <br>Ready to charge them in the field.<br>This somewhat startled the bold Knight,<br>Surpriz'd with th' unexpected sight.<br>The bruises of his bones and flesh<br>The thought began to smart afresh;<br>Till recollecting wonted courage,<br>His fear was soon converted to rage,<br>And thus he spoke: The coward foe,<br>Whom we but now gave quarter to,<br>Look, yonder's rally'd, and appears <br>As if they had out-run their fears.<br>The glory we did lately get,<br>The Fates command us to repeat;<br>And to their wills we must succumb,<br>Quocunque trahunt, 'tis our doom. <br>This is the same numeric crew<br>Which we so lately did subdue;<br>The self-same individuals that<br>Did run as mice do from a cat,<br>When we courageously did wield <br>Our martial weapons in the field<br>To tug for victory; and when<br>We shall our shining blades agen<br>Brandish in terror o'er our heads,<br>They'll straight resume their wonted dreads. <br>Fear is an ague, that forsakes<br>And haunts by fits those whom it takes:<br>And they'll opine they feel the pain<br>And blows they felt to-day again.<br>Then let us boldly charge them home,<br>And make no doubt to overcome.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, his courage to inflame,<br>He call'd upon his mistress' name.<br>His pistol next he cock'd a-new,<br>And out his nut-brown whinyard drew;<br>And, placing RALPHO in the front,<br>Reserv'd himself to bear the brunt,<br>As expert warriors use: then ply'd<br>With iron heel his courser's side,<br>Conveying sympathetic speed <br>From heel of Knight to heel of Steed.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Mean while the foe, with equal rage<br>And speed, advancing to engage,<br>Both parties now were drawn so close,<br>Almost to come to handy-blows;<br>When ORSIN first let fly a stone<br>At RALPHO: not so huge a one<br>As that which DIOMED did maul<br>AENEAS on the bum withal<br>Yet big enough if rightly hurl'd, <br>T' have sent him to another world,<br>Whether above-ground, or below,<br>Which Saints Twice Dipt are destin'd to.<br>The danger startled the bold Squire,<br>And made him some few steps retire.<br>But HUDIBRAS advanc'd to's aid,<br>And rouz'd his spirits, half dismay'd.<br>He wisely doubting lest the shot<br>Of th' enemy, now growing hot,<br>Might at a distance gall, press'd close, <br>To come pell-mell to handy-blows,<br>And, that he might their aim decline,<br>Advanc'd still in an oblique line;<br>But prudently forbore to fire,<br>Till breast to breast he had got nigher, <br>As expert warriors use to do<br>When hand to hand they charge their foe.<br>This order the advent'rous Knight,<br>Most soldier-like, observ'd in fight,<br>When fortune (as she's wont) turn'd fickle, <br>And for the foe began to stickle.<br>The more shame for her Goody-ship,<br>To give so near a friend the slip.<br>For COLON, choosing out a stone,<br>Levell'd so right, it thump'd upon<br>His manly paunch with such a force,<br>As almost beat him off his horse.<br>He lost his whinyard, and the rein;<br>But, laying fast hold of the mane,<br>Preserv'd his seat; and as a goose<br>In death contracts his talons close,<br>So did the Knight, and with one claw<br>The trigger of his pistol draw.<br>The gun went off: and as it was<br>Still fatal to stout HUDIBRAS,<br>In all his feats of arms, when least<br>He dreamt of it, to prosper best,<br>So now he far'd: the shot, let fly<br>At random 'mong the enemy,<br>Pierc'd TALGOL's gaberdine, and grazing<br>Upon his shoulder, in the passing,<br>Lodg'd in MAGNANO's brass habergeon,<br>Who straight, A Surgeon, cry'd, A Surgeon.<br>He tumbled down, and, as he fell,<br>Did Murther, Murther, Murther, yell. <br>This startled their whole body so,<br>That if the Knight had not let go<br>His arms, but been in warlike plight,<br>H' had won (the second time) the fight;<br>As, if the Squire had but fall'n on,<br>He had inevitably done:<br>But he, diverted with the care<br>Or HUDIBRAS his hurt, forbare<br>To press th' advantage of his fortune<br>While danger did the rest dishearten: <br>For he with CERDON b'ing engag'd<br>In close encounter, they both wag'd<br>The fight so well, 'twas hard to say<br>Which side was like to get the day.<br>And now the busy work of death <br>Had tir'd them so, th' agreed to breath,<br>Preparing to renew the fight,<br>When the disaster of the Knight,<br>And th' other party, did divert<br>Their fell intent, and forc'd them part.<br>RALPHO press'd up to HUDIBRAS,<br>And CERDON where MAGNANO was;<br>Each striving to confirm his party<br>With stout encouragements, and hearty.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth RALIHO, Courage, valiant Sir,<br>And let revenge and honour stir<br>Your spirits up: once we fall on,<br>The shatter'd foe begins to run:<br>For if but half so well you knew<br>To use your victory as subdue, <br>They durst not, after such a blow<br>As you have given them, face us now;<br>But from so formidable a soldier<br>Had fled like crows when they smell powder.<br>Thrice have they seen your sword aloft<br>Wav'd o'er their heads, and fled as oft.<br>But if you let them recollect<br>Their spirits, now dismay'd and checkt,<br>You'll have a harder game to play<br>Than yet y' have had to get the day.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thus spoke the stout Squire; but was heard<br>By HUDIBRAS with small regard.<br>His thoughts were fuller of the bang<br>Be lately took than RALPH'S harangue;<br>To which he answer'd, Cruel Fate <br>Tells me thy counsel comes too late.<br>The knotted blood within my hose,<br>That from my wounded body flows,<br>With mortal crisis doth portend<br>My days to appropinque an end.<br>I am for action now unfit,<br>Either of fortitude or wit:<br>Fortune, my foe, begins to frown,<br>Resolv'd to pull my stomach down.<br>I am not apt, upon a wound, <br>Or trivial basting, to despond:<br>Yet I'd be loth my days to curtail:<br>For if I thought my wounds not mortal,<br>Or that we'd time enough as yet,<br>To make an hon'rable retreat, <br>'Twere the best course: but if they find<br>We fly, and leave our arms behind<br>For them to seize on, the dishonour,<br>And danger too, is such, I'll sooner<br>Stand to it boldly, and take quarter,<br>To let them see I am no starter.<br>In all the trade of war, no feat<br>Is nobler than a brave retreat:<br>For those that run away, and fly,<br>Take place at least of th' enemy. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, the Squire, with active speed<br>Dismounted from his bonny steed,<br>To seize the arms, which, by mischance,<br>Fell from the bold Knight in a trance.<br>These being found out, and restor'd <br>To HUDIBRAS their natural lord,<br>As a man may say, with might and main,<br>He hasted to get up again.<br>Thrice he assay'd to mount aloft,<br>But, by his weighty bum, as oft<br>He was pull'd back, till having found<br>Th' advantage of the rising ground,<br>Thither he led his warlike steed,<br>And having plac'd him right, with speed<br>Prepar'd again to scale the beast,<br>When ORSIN, who had newly drest<br>The bloody scar upon the shoulder<br>Of TALGOL with Promethean powder,<br>And now was searching for the shot<br>That laid MAGNANO on the spot, <br>Beheld the sturdy Squire aforesaid<br>Preparing to climb up his horse side.<br>He left his cure, and laying hold<br>Upon his arms, with courage bold,<br>Cry'd out, 'Tis now no time to dally, <br>The enemy begin to rally:<br>Let us, that are unhurt and whole,<br>Fall on, and happy man be's dole.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, like to a thunderbolt,<br>He flew with fury to th' assault, <br>Striving the enemy to attack<br>Before he reach'd his horse's back.<br>RALPHO was mounted now, and gotten<br>O'erthwart his beast with active vau'ting,<br>Wrigling his body to recover <br>His seat, and cast his right leg over,<br>When ORSIN, rushing in, bestow'd<br>On horse and man so heavy a load,<br>The beast was startled, and begun<br>To kick and fling like mad, and run,<br>Bearing the tough Squire like a sack,<br>Or stout king RICHARD, on his back,<br>'Till stumbling, he threw him down,<br>Sore bruis'd, and cast into a swoon.<br>Meanwhile the Knight began to rouze <br>The sparkles of his wonted prowess.<br>He thrust his hand into his hose,<br>And found, both by his eyes and nose,<br>'Twas only choler, and not blood,<br>That from his wounded body flow'd. <br>This, with the hazard of the Squire,<br>Inflam'd him with despightful ire.<br>Courageously he fac'd about.<br>And drew his other pistol out,<br>And now had half way bent the cock, <br>When CERDON gave so fierce a shock,<br>With sturdy truncheon, thwart his arm,<br>That down it fell, and did no harm;<br>Then stoutly pressing on with speed,<br>Assay'd to pull him off his steed. <br>The Knight his sword had only left,<br>With which he CERDON'S head had cleft,<br>Or at the least cropt off a limb,<br>But ORSIN came, and rescu'd him.<br>He, with his lance, attack'd the Knight<br>Upon his quarters opposite.<br>But as a barque, that in foul weather,<br>Toss'd by two adverse winds together,<br>Is bruis'd, and beaten to and fro,<br>And knows not which to turn him to; <br>So far'd the Knight between two foes,<br>And knew not which of them t'oppose;<br>Till ORSIN, charging with his lance<br>At HUDIBRAS, by spightful chance,<br>Hit CERDON such a bang, as stunn'd <br>And laid him flat upon the ground.<br>At this the Knight began to chear up,<br>And, raising up himself on stirrup,<br>Cry'd out, Victoria! Lie thou there,<br>And I shall straight dispatch another, <br>To bear thee company in death:<br>But first I'll halt a while, and breath:<br>As well he might; for ORSIN, griev'd<br>At th' wound that CERDON had receiv'd,<br>Ran to relieve him with his lore,<br>And cure the hurt he gave before.<br>Mean while the Knight had wheel'd about,<br>To breathe himself, and next find out<br>Th' advantage of the ground, where best<br>He might the ruffled foe infest.<br>This b'ing resolv'd, he spurr'd his steed,<br>To run at ORSIN with full speed,<br>While he was busy in the care<br>Of CERDON'S wound, and unaware:<br>But he was quick, and had already <br>Unto the part apply'd remedy:<br>And, seeing th' enemy prepar'd,<br>Drew up, and stood upon his guard.<br>Then, like a warrior right expert<br>And skilful in the martial art, <br>The subtle Knight straight made a halt,<br>And judg'd it best to stay th' assault,<br>Until he had reliev'd the Squire,<br>And then in order to retire;<br>Or, as occasion should invite,<br>With forces join'd renew the fight.<br>RALPHO, by this time disentranc'd,<br>Upon his bum himself advanc'd,<br>Though sorely bruis'd; his limbs all o'er<br>With ruthless bangs were stiff and sore. <br>Right fain he would have got upon<br>His feet again, to get him gone;<br>When HUDIBRAS to aid him came:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth he (and call'd him by his name,)<br>Courage! the day at length is ours;<br>And we once more, as conquerors,<br>Have both the field and honour won:<br>The foe is profligate, and run.<br>I mean all such as can; for some<br>This hand hath sent to their long home; <br>And some lie sprawling on the ground,<br>With many a gash and bloody wound.<br>CAESAR himself could never say<br>He got two victories in a day,<br>As I have done, that can say, Twice I<br>In one day, Veni, Vidi, Vici.<br>The foe's so numerous, that we<br>Cannot so often vincere<br>As they perire, and yet enow<br>Be left to strike an after-blow; <br>Then, lest they rally, and once more<br>Put us to fight the bus'ness o'er,<br>Get up, and mount thy steed: Dispatch,<br>And let us both their motions watch.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth RALPH, I should not, if I were <br>In case for action, now be here:<br>Nor have I turn'd my back, or hang'd<br>An arse, for fear of being bang'd.<br>It was for you I got these harms,<br>Advent'ring to fetch off your arms. <br>The blows and drubs I have receiv'd<br>Have bruis'd my body, and bereav'd<br>My limbs of strength. Unless you stoop,<br>And reach your hand to pull me up,<br>I shall lie here, and be a prey<br>To those who now are run away.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">That thou shalt not, (quoth HUDIBRAS);<br>We read, the ancients held it was<br>More honourable far, servare<br>Civem, than slay an adversary: <br>The one we oft to-day have done,<br>The other shall dispatch anon:<br>And though th' art of a diff'rent Church<br>I will not leave thee in the lurch.<br>This said, he jogg'd his good steed nigher, <br>And steer'd him gently toward the Squire;<br>Then bowing down his body, stretch'd<br>His hand out, and at RALPHO reach'd;<br>When TRULLA, whom he did not mind,<br>Charg'd him like lightening behind.<br>She had been long in search about<br>MAGNANO'S wound, to find it out;<br>But could find none, nor where the shot,<br>That had so startled him, was got<br>But having found the worst was past,<br>She fell to her own work at last,<br>The pillage of the prisoners,<br>Which in all feats of arms was hers;<br>And now to plunder RALPH she flew,<br>When HUDIBRAS his hard fate drew <br>To succour him; for, as he bow'd<br>To help him up, she laid a load<br>Of blows so heavy, and plac'd so well,<br>On t'other side, that down he fell.<br>Yield, scoundrel base, (quoth she,) or die:<br>Thy life is mine and liberty:<br>But if thou think'st I took thee tardy,<br>And dar'st presume to be so hardy,<br>To try thy fortune o'er a-fresh,<br>I'll wave my title to thy flesh, <br>Thy arms and baggage, now my right;<br>And if thou hast the heart to try't,<br>I'll lend thee back thyself a while,<br>And once more, for that carcass vile,<br>Fight upon tick. - Quoth HUDIBRAS,<br>Thou offer'st nobly, valiant lass,<br>And I shall take thee at thy word.<br>First let me rise and take my sword.<br>That sword which has so oft this day<br>Through squadrons of my foes made way,<br>And some to other worlds dispatch'd,<br>Now with a feeble spinster match'd,<br>Will blush with blood ignoble stain'd,<br>By which no honour's to be gain'd.<br>But if thou'lt take m' advice in this, <br>Consider whilst thou may'st, what 'tis<br>To interrupt a victor's course,<br>B' opposing such a trivial force:<br>For if with conquest I come off,<br>(And that I shall do sure enough,)<br>Quarter thou canst not have, nor grace,<br>By law of arms, in such a case;<br>Both which I now do offer freely.<br>I scorn (quoth she) thou coxcomb silly,<br>(Clapping her hand upon her breech,<br>To shew how much she priz'd his speech,)<br>Quarter or counsel from a foe<br>If thou can'st force me to it, do.<br>But lest it should again be said,<br>When I have once more won thy head,<br>I took thee napping, unprepar'd,<br>Arm, and betake thee to thy guard.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, she to her tackle fell,<br>And on the Knight let fall a peal<br>Of blows so fierce, and press'd so home, <br>That he retir'd, and follow'd's bum.<br>Stand to't (quoth she) or yield to mercy<br>It is not fighting arsie-versie<br>Shall serve thy turn. - This stirr'd his spleen<br>More than the danger he was in,<br>The blows he felt, or was to feel,<br>Although th' already made him reel.<br>Honour, despight; revenge and shame,<br>At once into his stomach came,<br>Which fir'd it so, he rais'd his arm<br>Above his head, and rain'd a storm<br>Of blows so terrible and thick,<br>As if he meant to hash her quick.<br>But she upon her truncheon took them,<br>And by oblique diversion broke them, <br>Waiting an opportunity<br>To pay all back with usury;<br>Which long she fail'd not of; for now<br>The Knight with one dead-doing blow<br>Resolving to decide the fight, <br>And she, with quick and cunning slight,<br>Avoiding it, the force and weight<br>He charged upon it was so great,<br>As almost sway'd him to the ground.<br>No sooner she th' advantage found, <br>But in she flew; and seconding<br>With home-made thrust the heavy swing,<br>She laid him flat upon his side;<br>And mounting on his trunk a-stride,<br>Quoth she, I told thee what would come <br>Of all thy vapouring, base scum.<br>Say, will the law of arms allow<br>I may have grace and quarter now?<br>Or wilt thou rather break thy word,<br>And stain thine honour than thy sword? <br>A man of war to damn his soul,<br>In basely breaking his parole<br>And when, before the fight, th' had'st vow'd<br>To give no quarter in cold blood<br>Now thou hast got me for a Tartar,<br>To make me 'gainst my will take quarter;<br>Why dost not put me to the sword,<br>But cowardly fly from thy word?</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS, The day's thine own:<br>Thou and thy Stars have cast me down:<br>My laurels are transplanted now,<br>And flourish on thy conqu'ring brow:<br>My loss of honour's great enough,<br>Thou need'st not brand it with a scoff:<br>Sarcasms may eclipse thine own, <br>But cannot blur my lost renown.<br>I am not now in Fortune's power;<br>He that is down can fall no lower.<br>The ancient heroes were illustrious<br>For being benign, and not blustrous, <br>Against a vanquish'd foe: their swords<br>Were sharp and trenchant, not their words;<br>And did in fight but cut work out<br>To employ their courtesies about.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth she, Although thou hast deserv'd<br>Base slubberdegullion, to be serv'd<br>As thou did'st vow to deal with me,<br>If thou had'st got the victory<br>Yet I shall rather act a part<br>That suits my fame than thy desert.<br>Thy arms, thy liberty, beside<br>All that's on th' outside of thy hide,<br>Are mine by military law,<br>Of which I will not hate one straw:<br>The rest, thy life and limbs, once more,<br>Though doubly forfeit, I restore,</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS, It is too late<br>For me to treat or stipulate<br>What thou command'st, I must obey:<br>Yet those whom I expugn'd to-day <br>Of thine own party, I let go,<br>And gave them life and freedom too:<br>Both dogs and bear, upon their parole,<br>Whom I took pris'ners in this quarrel.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth TRULLA, Whether thou or they <br>Let one another run away,<br>Concerns not me; but was't not thou<br>That gave CROWDERO quarter too?<br>CROWDERO, whom, in irons bound,<br>Thou basely threw'st into LOB'S Pound,<br>Where still he lies, and with regret<br>His gen'rous bowels rage and fret.<br>But now thy carcass shall redeem,<br>And serve to be exchang'd for him.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This said, the Knight did straight submit,<br>And laid his weapons at her feet.<br>Next he disrob'd his gaberdine,<br>And with it did himself resign.<br>She took it, and forthwith divesting<br>The mantle that she wore, said jesting,<br>Take that, and wear it for my sake<br>Then threw it o'er his sturdy back,<br>And as the FRENCH, we conquer'd once,<br>Now give us laws for pantaloons,<br>The length of breeches, and the gathers, <br>Port-cannons, perriwigs, and feathers;<br>Just so the proud insulting lass<br>Array'd and dighted HUDIBRAS.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Mean while the other champions, yerst<br>In hurry of the fight disperst, <br>Arriv'd, when TRULLA won the day,<br>To share in th' honour and the prey,<br>And out of HUDIBRAS his hide<br>With vengeance to be satisfy'd;<br>Which now they were about to pour <br>Upon him in a wooden show'r;<br>But TRULLA thrust herself between,<br>And striding o'er his back agen,<br>She brandish'd o'er her head his sword,<br>And vow'd they should not break her word;<br>Sh' had giv'n him quarter, and her blood<br>Or theirs should make that quarter good;<br>For she was bound by law of arms<br>To see him safe from further harms.<br>In dungeon deep CROWDERO, cast <br>By HUDIBRAS, as yet lay fast;<br>Where, to the hard and ruthless stones,<br>His great heart made perpetual moans:<br>Him she resolv'd that HUDIBRAS<br>Should ransom, and supply his place. <br>This stopt their fury, and the basting<br>Which toward HUDIBRAS was hasting.<br>They thought it was but just and right,<br>That what she had atchiev'd in fight,<br>She should dispose of how she pleas'd.<br>CROWDERO ought to be releas'd;<br>Nor could that any way be done<br>So well as this she pitch'd upon<br>For who a better could imagine<br>This therefore they resolv'd t'engage in.<br>The Knight and Squire first they made<br>Rise from the ground, where they were laid<br>Then mounted both upon their horses,<br>But with their faces to the arses,<br>ORSIN led HUDIBRAS's beast, <br>And TALGOL that which RALPHO prest,<br>Whom stout MAGNANO, valiant CERDON,<br>And COLON, waited as a guard on;<br>All ush'ring TRULLA in the rear,<br>With th' arms of either prisoner.<br>In this proud order and array<br>They put themselves upon their way,<br>Striving to reach th' enchanted castle,<br>Where stout CROWDERO in durance lay still.<br>Thither with greater speed than shows <br>And triumph over conquer'd foes<br>Do use t' allow, or than the bears<br>Or pageants borne before Lord-Mayors<br>Are wont to use, they soon arriv'd<br>In order, soldier-like contriv'd; <br>Still marching in a warlike posture,<br>As fit for battle as for muster.<br>The Knight and Squire they first unhorse,<br>And bending 'gainst the fort their force,<br>They all advanc'd, and round about <br>Begirt the magical redoubt.<br>MAGNAN led up in this adventure,<br>And made way for the rest to enter;<br>For he was skilful in black art.<br>No less than he that built the fort;<br>And with an iron mace laid flat<br>A breach, which straight all enter'd at,<br>And in the wooden dungeon found<br>CROWDERO laid upon the ground.<br>Him they release from durance base, <br>Restor'd t' his fiddle and his case,<br>And liberty, his thirsty rage<br>With luscious vengeance to asswage:<br>For he no sooner was at large,<br>But TRULLA straight brought on the charge, <br>And in the self-same limbo put<br>The Knight and Squire where he was shut;<br>Where leaving them in Hockley i' th' Hole,<br>Their bangs and durance to condole,<br>Confin'd and conjur'd into narrow <br>Enchanted mansion to know sorrow,<br>In the same order and array<br>Which they advanc'd, they march'd away.<br>But HUDIBRAS who scorn'd to stoop<br>To Fortune, or be said to droop, <br>Chear'd up himself with ends of verse,<br>And sayings of philosophers.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth he, Th' one half of man, his mind,<br>Is, sui juris, unconfin'd,<br>And cannot be laid by the heels, <br>Whate'er the other moiety feels.<br>'Tis not restraint or liberty<br>That makes men prisoners or free;<br>But perturbations that possess<br>The mind, or aequanimities. <br>The whole world was not half so wide<br>To ALEXANDER, when he cry'd,<br>Because he had but one to subdue,<br>As was a paltry narrow tub to<br>DIOGENES; who is not said <br>(For aught that ever I could read)<br>To whine, put finger i' th' eye, and sob,<br>Because h' had ne'er another tub.<br>The ancients make two sev'ral kinds<br>Of prowess in heroic minds; <br>The active, and the passive valiant;<br>Both which are pari libra gallant:<br>For both to give blows, and to carry,<br>In fights are equinecessary<br>But in defeats, the passive stout <br>Are always found to stand it out<br>Most desp'rately, and to out-do<br>The active 'gainst the conqu'ring foe.<br>Tho' we with blacks and blues are suggill'd,<br>Or, as the vulgar say, are cudgell'd; <br>He that is valiant, and dares fight,<br>Though drubb'd, can lose no honour by't.<br>Honour's a lease for lives to come,<br>And cannot be extended from<br>The legal tenant: 'tis a chattel<br>Not to be forfeited in battel.<br>If he that in the field is slain,<br>Be in the bed of Honour lain,<br>He that is beaten, may be said<br>To lie in Honour's truckle-bed. <br>For as we see th' eclipsed sun<br>By mortals is more gaz'd upon,<br>Than when, adorn'd with all his light,<br>He shines in serene sky most bright:<br>So valour, in a low estate,<br>Is most admir'd and wonder'd at.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth RALPH, How great I do not know<br>We may by being beaten grow;<br>But none, that see how here we sit,<br>Will judge us overgrown with wit. <br>As gifted brethren, preaching by<br>A carnal hour-glass, do imply,<br>Illumination can convey<br>Into them what they have to say,<br>But not how much; so well enough <br>Know you to charge, but not draw off:<br>For who, without a cap and bauble,<br>Having subdu'd a bear and rabble,<br>And might with honour have come off<br>Would put it to a second proof? <br>A politic exploit, right fit<br>For Presbyterian zeal and wit.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS, That cuckow's tone,<br>RALPHO, thou always harp'st upon.<br>When thou at any thing would'st rail,<br>Thou mak'st Presbytery the scale<br>To take the height on't, and explain<br>To what degree it is prophane<br>Whats'ever will not with (thy what d'ye call)<br>Thy light jump right, thou call'st synodical; <br>As if Presbytery were the standard<br>To size whats'ever's to he slander'd.<br>Dost not remember how this day,<br>Thou to my beard wast bold to say,<br>That thou coud'st prove bear-baiting equal <br>With synods orthodox and legal?<br>Do if thou canst; for I deny't,<br>And dare thee to 't with all thy light.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth RALPHO, Truly that is no<br>Hard matter for a man to do, <br>That has but any guts in 's brains,<br>And cou'd believe it worth his pains;<br>But since you dare and urge me to it,<br>You'll find I've light enough to do it.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Synods are mystical bear-gardens,<br>Where elders, deputies, church-wardens,<br>And other members of the court,<br>Manage the Babylonish sport;<br>For prolocutor, scribe, and bear-ward,<br>Do differ only in a mere word; <br>Both are but sev'ral synagogues<br>Of carnal men, and bears, and dogs:<br>Both antichristian assemblies,<br>To mischief bent far as in them lies:<br>Both stave and tail with fierce contests; <br>The one with men, the other beasts.<br>The diff'rence is, the one fights with<br>The tongue, the other with the teeth;<br>And that they bait but bears in this,<br>In th' other, souls and consciences;<br>Where Saints themselves are brought to stake<br>For gospel-light, and conscience sake;<br>Expos'd to Scribes and Presbyters,<br>Instead of mastive dogs and curs,<br>Than whom th' have less humanity; <br>For these at souls of men will fly.<br>This to the prophet did appear,<br>Who in a vision saw a bear,<br>Prefiguring the beastly rage<br>Of Church-rule in this latter age; <br>As is demonstrated at full<br>By him that baited the Pope's Bull.<br>Bears nat'rally are beasts of prey,<br>That live by rapine; so do they.<br>What are their orders, constitutions, <br>Church-censures, curses, absolutions,<br>But' sev'ral mystic chains they make,<br>To tie poor Christians to the stake,<br>And then set heathen officers,<br>Instead of dogs, about their ears? <br>For to prohibit and dispense;<br>To find out or to make offence;<br>Of Hell and Heaven to dispose;<br>To play with souls at fast and loose;<br>To set what characters they please, <br>And mulcts on sin or godliness;<br>Reduce the Church to gospel-order,<br>By rapine, sacrilege, and murder;<br>To make Presbytery supreme,<br>And Kings themselves submit to them; <br>And force all people, though against<br>Their consciences, to turn Saints;<br>Must prove a pretty thriving trade,<br>When Saints monopolists are made;<br>When pious frauds, and holy shifts,<br>Are dispensations and gifts,<br>Their godliness becomes mere ware,<br>And ev'ry Synod but a fair.<br>Synods are whelps of th' Inquisition,<br>A mungrel breed of like pernicion, <br>And growing up, became the sires<br>Of scribes, commissioners, and triers;<br>Whose bus'ness is, by cunning slight,<br>To cast a figure for mens' light;<br>To find, in lines of beard and face, <br>The physiognomy of grace;<br>And by the sound and twang of nose,<br>If all be sound within disclose,<br>Free from a crack or flaw of sinning,<br>As men try pipkins by the ringing;<br>By black caps underlaid with white,<br>Give certain guess at inward light.<br>Which serjeants at the gospel wear,<br>To make the spiritual calling clear;<br>The handkerchief about the neck <br>(Canonical cravat of SMECK,<br>From whom the institution came,<br>When Church and State they set on flame,<br>And worn by them as badges then<br>Of spiritual warfaring men) <br>Judge rightly if regeneration<br>Be of the newest cut in fashion.<br>Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion,<br>That grace is founded in dominion.<br>Great piety consists in pride; <br>To rule is to be sanctified:<br>To domineer, and to controul,<br>Both o'er the body and the soul,<br>Is the most perfect discipline<br>Of church-rule, and by right-divine.<br>Bell and the Dragon's chaplains were<br>More moderate than these by far:<br>For they (poor knaves) were glad to cheat,<br>To get their wives and children meat;<br>But these will not be fobb'd off so; <br>They must have wealth and power too,<br>Or else with blood and desolation<br>They'll tear it out o' th' heart o' th' nation.<br>Sure these themselves from primitive<br>And Heathen Priesthood do derive, <br>When butchers were the only Clerks,<br>Elders and Presbyters of Kirks;<br>Whose directory was to kill;<br>And some believe it is so still.<br>The only diff'rence is, that then <br>They slaughter'd only beasts, now men.<br>For then to sacrifice a bullock,<br>Or now and then a child to Moloch,<br>They count a vile abomination,<br>But not to slaughter a whole nation.<br>Presbytery does but translate<br>The Papacy to a free state;<br>A commonwealth of Popery,<br>Where ev'ry village is a See<br>As well as Rome, and must maintain <br>A Tithe-pig Metropolitan;<br>Where ev'ry Presbyter and Deacon<br>Commands the keys for cheese and bacon;<br>And ev'ry hamlet's governed<br>By's Holiness, the Church's Head; <br>More haughty and severe in's place,<br>Than GREGORY or BONIFACE.<br>Such Church must (surely) be a monster<br>With many heads: for if we conster<br>What in th' Apocalypse we find, <br>According to th' Apostle's mind,<br>'Tis that the Whore of Babylon<br>With many heads did ride upon;<br>Which heads denote the sinful tribe<br>Of Deacon, Priest, Lay-Elder, Scribe. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Lay-Elder, SIMEON to LEVI,<br>Whose little finger is as heavy<br>As loins of patriarchs, prince-prelate,<br>And bishop-secular. This zealot<br>Is of a mungrel, diverse kind; <br>Cleric before, and lay behind;<br>A lawless linsie-woolsie brother,<br>Half of one order, half another;<br>A creature of amphibious nature;<br>On land a beast, a fish in water;<br>That always preys on grace or sin;<br>A sheep without, a wolf within.<br>This fierce inquisitor has chief<br>Dominion over men's belief<br>And manners: can pronounce a Saint<br>Idolatrous or ignorant,<br>When superciliously he sifts<br>Through coarsest boulter others' gifts;<br>For all men live and judge amiss,<br>Whose talents jump not just with his.<br>He'll lay on gifts with hands, and place<br>On dullest noddle Light and Grace,<br>The manufacture of the Kirk.<br>Those pastors are but th' handy-work<br>Of his mechanic paws, instilling<br>Divinity in them by feeling;<br>From whence they start up Chosen Vessels,<br>Made by contact, as men get meazles.<br>So Cardinals, they say, do grope<br>At th' other end the new-made Pope.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Hold, hold, quoth HUDIBRAS; soft fire,<br>They say, does make sweet malt. Good Squire,<br>Festina lente, not too fast;<br>For haste (the proverb says) makes waste.<br>The quirks and cavils thou dost make <br>Are false, and built upon mistake:<br>And I shall bring you, with your pack<br>Of fallacies, t' elenchi back;<br>And put your arguments in mood<br>And figure to be understood.<br>I'll force you, by right ratiocination,<br>To leave your vitilitigation,<br>And make you keep to th' question close,<br>And argue dialecticos.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">The question then, to state it first,<br>Is, Which is better, or which worst,<br>Synods or Bears? Bears I avow<br>To be the worst, and Synods thou.<br>But, to make good th' assertion,<br>Thou say'st th' are really all one.<br>If so, not worst; for if th' are idem<br>Why then, tantundem dat tantidem.<br>For if they are the same, by course,<br>Neither is better, neither worse.<br>But I deny they are the same,<br>More than a maggot and I am.<br>That both are animalia<br>I grant, but not rationalia:<br>For though they do agree in kind,<br>Specific difference we find;<br>And can no more make bears of these,<br>Than prove my horse is SOCRATES.<br>That Synods are bear-gardens too,<br>Thou dost affirm; but I say no:<br>And thus I prove it in a word; <br>Whats'ver assembly's not impow'r'd<br>To censure, curse, absolve, and ordain,<br>Can be no Synod: but bear-garden<br>Has no such pow'r; ergo, 'tis none:<br>And so thy sophistry's o'erthrown.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But yet we are beside the question<br>Which thou didst raise the first contest on;<br>For that was, Whether Bears are better<br>Than Synod-men? I say, Negatur.<br>That bears are beasts, and synods men,<br>Is held by all: they're better then:<br>For bears and dogs on four legs go,<br>As beasts, but Synod-men on two.<br>'Tis true, they all have teeth and nails;<br>But prove that Synod-men have tails; <br>Or that a rugged, shaggy fur<br>Grows o'er the hide of Presbyter;<br>Or that his snout and spacious ears<br>Do hold proportion with a bear's.<br>A bears a savage beast, of all <br>Most ugly and unnatural<br>Whelp'd without form, until the dam<br>Has lick'd it into shape and frame:<br>But all thy light can ne'er evict,<br>That ever Synod-man was lick'd;<br>Or brought to any other fashion,<br>Than his own will and inclination.<br>But thou dost further yet in this<br>Oppugn thyself and sense; that is,<br>Thou would'st have Presbyters to go <br>For bears and dogs, and bearwards too;<br>A strange chimera of beasts and men,<br>Made up of pieces heterogene;<br>Such as in nature never met<br>In eodem subjecto yet.<br>Thy other arguments are all<br>Supposures, hypothetical,<br>That do but beg, and we may chose<br>Either to grant them, or refuse.<br>Much thou hast said, which I know when<br>And where thou stol'st from other men,<br>Whereby 'tis plain thy Light and Gifts<br>Are all but plagiary shifts;<br>And is the same that Ranter said,<br>Who, arguing with me, broke my head,<br>And tore a handful of my beard:<br>The self-same cavils then I heard,<br>When, b'ing in hot dispute about<br>This controversy, we fell out<br>And what thou know'st I answer'd then, <br>Will serve to answer thee agen.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth RALPHO, Nothing but th' abuse<br>Of human learning you produce;<br>Learning, that cobweb of the brain,<br>Profane, erroneous, and vain; <br>A trade of knowledge, as replete<br>As others are with fraud and cheat;<br>An art t'incumber gifts and wit,<br>And render both for nothing fit;<br>Makes Light unactive, dull, and troubled, <br>Like little DAVID in SAUL's doublet;<br>A cheat that scholars put upon<br>Other mens' reason and their own;<br>A fort of error, to ensconce<br>Absurdity and ignorance, <br>That renders all the avenues<br>To truth impervious and abstruse,<br>By making plain things, in debate,<br>By art, perplex'd, and intricate<br>For nothing goes for sense or light <br>That will not with old rules jump right:<br>As if rules were not in the schools<br>Deriv'd from truth, but truth from rules.<br>This pagan, heathenish invention<br>Is good for nothing but contention.<br>For as, in sword-and-buckler fight,<br>All blows do on the target light;<br>So when men argue, the great'st part<br>O' th' contests falls on terms of art,<br>Until the fustian stuff be spent, <br>And then they fall to th' argument.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS Friend RALPH, thou hast<br>Out-run the constable at last:<br>For thou art fallen on a new<br>Dispute, as senseless as untrue, <br>But to the former opposite<br>And contrary as black to white;<br>Mere disparata; that concerning<br>Presbytery; this, human learning;<br>Two things s'averse, they never yet <br>But in thy rambling fancy met.<br>But I shall take a fit occasion<br>T' evince thee by ratiocination,<br>Some other time, in place more proper<br>Than this we're in; therefore let's stop here,<br>And rest our weary'd bones a-while,<br>Already tir'd with other toil.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Samuel+Butler">Samuel Butler</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=512561" data-title="Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto III de Samuel Butler" data-description="THE ARGUMENT The scatter'd rout return and rally, Surround the place; the Knight does sally, And is made pris'ner: Then they seize Th' inchanted fort by storm; release Crowdero, and put the Squire in's place; I should have first said Hudibras. A..."></div> </div> </div>

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