<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=512560" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto I</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">THE ARGUMENT</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Sir Hudibras his passing worth,<br>The manner how he sallied forth;<br>His arms and equipage are shown;<br>His horse's virtues, and his own.<br>Th' adventure of the bear and fiddle<br>Is sung, but breaks off in the middle.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br>When civil dudgeon a first grew high,<br>And men fell out they knew not why?<br>When hard words, jealousies, and fears,<br>Set folks together by the ears,<br>And made them fight, like mad or drunk,<br>For Dame Religion, as for punk;<br>Whose honesty they all durst swear for,<br>Though not a man of them knew wherefore:<br>When Gospel-Trumpeter, surrounded<br>With long-ear'd rout, to battle sounded, <br>And pulpit, drum ecclesiastick,<br>Was beat with fist, instead of a stick;<br>Then did Sir Knight abandon dwelling,<br>And out he rode a colonelling.<br>A wight he was, whose very sight wou'd <br>Entitle him Mirror of Knighthood;<br>That never bent his stubborn knee<br>To any thing but Chivalry;<br>Nor put up blow, but that which laid<br>Right worshipful on shoulder-blade; <br>Chief of domestic knights and errant,<br>Either for cartel or for warrant;<br>Great on the bench, great in the saddle,<br>That could as well bind o'er, as swaddle;<br>Mighty he was at both of these,<br>And styl'd of war, as well as peace.<br>(So some rats, of amphibious nature,<br>Are either for the land or water).<br>But here our authors make a doubt<br>Whether he were more wise, or stout:<br>Some hold the one, and some the other;<br>But howsoe'er they make a pother,<br>The diff'rence was so small, his brain<br>Outweigh'd his rage but half a grain;<br>Which made some take him for a tool <br>That knaves do work with, call'd a fool,<br>And offer to lay wagers that<br>As MONTAIGNE, playing with his cat,<br>Complains she thought him but an ass,<br>Much more she wou'd Sir HUDIBRAS;<br>(For that's the name our valiant knight<br>To all his challenges did write).<br>But they're mistaken very much,<br>'Tis plain enough he was no such;<br>We grant, although he had much wit, <br>H' was very shy of using it;<br>As being loth to wear it out,<br>And therefore bore it not about,<br>Unless on holy-days, or so,<br>As men their best apparel do. <br>Beside, 'tis known he could speak GREEK<br>As naturally as pigs squeek;<br>That LATIN was no more difficile,<br>Than to a blackbird 'tis to whistle:<br>Being rich in both, he never scanted <br>His bounty unto such as wanted;<br>But much of either would afford<br>To many, that had not one word.<br>For Hebrew roots, although they're found<br>To flourish most in barren ground, <br>He had such plenty, as suffic'd<br>To make some think him circumcis'd;<br>And truly so, he was, perhaps,<br>Not as a proselyte, but for claps.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">He was in LOGIC a great critic,<br>Profoundly skill'd in analytic;<br>He could distinguish, and divide<br>A hair 'twixt south, and south-west side:<br>On either which he would dispute,<br>Confute, change hands, and still confute, <br>He'd undertake to prove, by force<br>Of argument, a man's no horse;<br>He'd prove a buzzard is no fowl,<br>And that a lord may be an owl,<br>A calf an alderman, a goose a justice,<br>And rooks Committee-men and Trustees.<br>He'd run in debt by disputation,<br>And pay with ratiocination.<br>All this by syllogism, true<br>In mood and figure, he would do.<br>For RHETORIC, he could not ope<br>His mouth, but out there flew a trope;<br>And when he happen'd to break off<br>I' th' middle of his speech, or cough,<br>H' had hard words,ready to show why, <br>And tell what rules he did it by;<br>Else, when with greatest art he spoke,<br>You'd think he talk'd like other folk,<br>For all a rhetorician's rules<br>Teach nothing but to name his tools. <br>His ordinary rate of speech<br>In loftiness of sound was rich;<br>A Babylonish fdialect,<br>Which learned pedants much affect.<br>It was a parti-colour'd dress <br>Of patch'd and pie-bald languages;<br>'Twas English cut on Greek and Latin,<br>Like fustian heretofore on satin;<br>It had an odd promiscuous tone,<br>As if h' had talk'd three parts in one; <br>Which made some think, when he did gabble,<br>Th' had heard three labourers of Babel;<br>Or CERBERUS himself pronounce<br>A leash of languages at once.<br>This he as volubly would vent <br>As if his stock would ne'er be spent:<br>And truly, to support that charge,<br>He had supplies as vast and large;<br>For he cou'd coin, or counterfeit<br>New words, with little or no wit: <br>Words so debas'd and hard, no stone<br>Was hard enough to touch them on;<br>And when with hasty noise he spoke 'em,<br>The ignorant for current took 'em;<br>That had the orator, who once <br>Did fill his mouth with pebble stones<br>When he harangu'd, but known his phrase<br>He would have us'd no other ways.<br>In MATHEMATICKS he was greater<br>Than TYCHO BRAHE, or ERRA PATER: <br>For he, by geometric scale,<br>Could take the size of pots of ale;<br>Resolve, by sines and tangents straight,<br>If bread or butter wanted weight,<br>And wisely tell what hour o' th' day<br>The clock does strike by algebra.<br>Beside, he was a shrewd PHILOSOPHER,<br>And had read ev'ry text and gloss over;<br>Whate'er the crabbed'st author hath,<br>He understood b' implicit faith: <br>Whatever sceptic could inquire for,<br>For ev'ry why he had a wherefore;<br>Knew more than forty of them do,<br>As far as words and terms cou'd go.<br>All which he understood by rote, <br>And, as occasion serv'd, would quote;<br>No matter whether right or wrong,<br>They might be either said or sung.<br>His notions fitted things so well,<br>That which was which he could not tell;<br>But oftentimes mistook th' one<br>For th' other, as great clerks have done.<br>He could reduce all things to acts,<br>And knew their natures by abstracts;<br>Where entity and quiddity,<br>The ghosts of defunct bodies fly;<br>Where truth in person does appear,<br>Like words congeal'd in northern air.<br>He knew what's what, and that's as high<br>As metaphysic wit can fly; <br>In school-divinity as able<br>As he that hight, Irrefragable;<br>A second THOMAS, or, at once,<br>To name them all, another DUNCE:<br>Profound in all the Nominal <br>And Real ways, beyond them all:<br>For he a rope of sand cou'd twist<br>As tough as learned SORBONIST;<br>And weave fine cobwebs, fit for skull<br>That's empty when the moon is full;<br>Such as take lodgings in a head<br>That's to be let unfurnished.<br>He could raise scruples dark and nice,<br>And after solve 'em in a trice;<br>As if Divinity had catch'd <br>The itch, on purpose to be scratch'd;<br>Or, like a mountebank, did wound<br>And stab herself with doubts profound,<br>Only to show with how small pain<br>The sores of Faith are cur'd again; <br>Although by woeful proof we find,<br>They always leave a scar behind.<br>He knew the seat of Paradise,<br>Could tell in what degree it lies;<br>And, as he was dispos'd, could prove it,<br>Below the moon, or else above it.<br>What Adam dreamt of, when his bride<br>Came from her closet in his side:<br>Whether the devil tempted her<br>By a High Dutch interpreter; <br>If either of them had a navel:<br>Who first made music malleable:<br>Whether the serpent, at the fall,<br>Had cloven feet, or none at all.<br>All this, without a gloss, or comment, <br>He could unriddle in a moment,<br>In proper terms, such as men smatter<br>When they throw out, and miss the matter.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">For his Religion, it was fit<br>To match his learning and his wit;<br>'Twas Presbyterian true blue;<br>For he was of that stubborn crew<br>Of errant saints, whom all men grant<br>To be the true Church Militant;<br>Such as do build their faith upon <br>The holy text of pike and gun;<br>Decide all controversies by<br>Infallible artillery;<br>And prove their doctrine orthodox<br>By apostolic blows and knocks; <br>Call fire and sword and desolation,<br>A godly thorough reformation,<br>Which always must be carried on,<br>And still be doing, never done;<br>As if religion were intended<br>For nothing else but to be mended.<br>A sect, whose chief devotion lies<br>In odd perverse antipathies;<br>In falling out with that or this,<br>And finding somewhat still amiss; <br>More peevish, cross, and splenetick,<br>Than dog distract, or monkey sick.<br>That with more care keep holy-day<br>The wrong, than others the right way;<br>Compound for sins they are inclin'd to,<br>By damning those they have no mind to:<br>Still so perverse and opposite,<br>As if they worshipp'd God for spite.<br>The self-same thing they will abhor<br>One way, and long another for. <br>Free-will they one way disavow,<br>Another, nothing else allow:<br>All piety consists therein<br>In them, in other men all sin:<br>Rather than fail, they will defy <br>That which they love most tenderly;<br>Quarrel with minc'd-pies, and disparage<br>Their best and dearest friend, plum-porridge;<br>Fat pig and goose itself oppose,<br>And blaspheme custard through the nose. <br>Th' apostles of this fierce religion,<br>Like MAHOMET'S, were ass and pidgeon,<br>To whom our knight, by fast instinct<br>Of wit and temper, was so linkt,<br>As if hypocrisy and nonsense<br>Had got th' advowson of his conscience.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thus was he gifted and accouter'd;<br>We mean on th' inside, not the outward;<br>That next of all we shall discuss:<br>Then listen, Sirs, it follows thus <br>His tawny beard was th' equal grace<br>Both of his wisdom and his face;<br>In cut and dye so like a tile,<br>A sudden view it would beguile:<br>The upper part thereof was whey;<br>The nether, orange mix'd with grey.<br>This hairy meteor did denounce<br>The fall of scepters and of crowns;<br>With grisly type did represent<br>Declining age of government;<br>And tell with hieroglyphick spade,<br>Its own grave and the state's were made.<br>Like SAMPSON'S heart-breakers, it grew<br>In time to make a nation rue;<br>Tho' it contributed its own fall,<br>To wait upon the publick downfal,<br>It was monastick, and did grow<br>In holy orders by strict vow;<br>Of rule as sullen and severe<br>As that of rigid Cordeliere.<br>'Twas bound to suffer persecution<br>And martyrdom with resolution;<br>T' oppose itself against the hate<br>And vengeance of th' incensed state;<br>In whose defiance it was worn,<br>Still ready to be pull'd and torn;<br>With red-hot irons to be tortur'd;<br>Revil'd, and spit upon, and martyr'd.<br>Maugre all which, 'twas to stand fast<br>As long as monarchy shou'd last;<br>But when the state should hap to reel,<br>'Twas to submit to fatal steel,<br>And fall, as it was consecrate,<br>A sacrifice to fall of state;<br>Whose thread of life the fatal sisters<br>Did twist together with its whiskers,<br>And twine so close, that time should never,<br>In life or death, their fortunes sever;<br>But with his rusty sickle mow<br>Both down together at a blow.<br>So learned TALIACOTIUS from<br>The brawny part of porter's bum<br>Cut supplemental noses, which<br>Wou'd last as long as parent breech;<br>But when the date of NOCK was out,<br>Off drop'd the sympathetic snout.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His back, or rather burthen, show'd,<br>As if it stoop'd with its own load:<br>For as AENEAS zbore his sire<br>Upon his shoulders thro' the fire,<br>Our Knight did bear no less a pack<br>Of his own buttocks on his back;<br>Which now had almost got the upper-<br>Hand of his head, for want of crupper.<br>To poise this equally, he bore<br>A paunch of the same bulk before;<br>Which still he had a special care<br>To keep well-cramm'd with thrifty fare;<br>As white-pot, butter-milk, and curds,<br>Such as a country-house affords;<br>With other vittle, which anon<br>We farther shall dilate upon,<br>When of his hose we come to treat,<br>The cupboard where he kept his meat.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His doublet was of sturdy buff,<br>And tho' not sword, yet cudgel-proof;<br>Whereby 'twas fitter for his use,<br>Who fear'd no blows, but such as bruise.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His breeches were of rugged woollen,<br>And had been at the siege of Bullen;<br>To old King HARRY so well known,<br>Some writers held they were his own.<br>Thro' they were lin'd with many a piece<br>Of ammunition bread and cheese,<br>And fat black-puddings, proper food <br>For warriors that delight in blood.<br>For, as we said, he always chose<br>To carry vittle in his hose,<br>That often tempted rats and mice<br>The ammunition to surprise: <br>And when he put a hand but in<br>The one or t' other magazine,<br>They stoutly in defence on't stood,<br>And from the wounded foe drew blood;<br>And 'till th' were storm'd and beaten out,<br>Ne'er left the fortify'd redoubt.<br>And tho' Knights Errant, as some think,<br>Of old did neither eat nor drink,<br>Because, when thorough desarts vast,<br>And regions desolate, they past,<br>Where belly-timber above ground,<br>Or under, was not to be found,<br>Unless they graz'd, there's not one word<br>Of their provision on record;<br>Which made some confidently write, <br>They had no stomachs, but to fight.<br>'Tis false: for a ARTHUR wore in hall<br>Round table like a farthingal,<br>On which with shirt pull'd out behind,<br>And eke before, his good Knights din'd.<br>Though 'twas no table, some suppose,<br>But a huge pair of round trunk hose;<br>In which he carry'd as much meat<br>As he and all the Knights cou'd eat,<br>When, laying by their swords and truncheons, <br>They took their breakfasts, or their nuncheons.<br>But let that pass at present, lest<br>We should forget where we digrest,<br>As learned authors use, to whom<br>We leave it, and to th' purpose come,</div><div style="margin:10px 0">His puissant sword unto his side,<br>Near his undaunted heart, was ty'd;<br>With basket-hilt, that wou'd hold broth,<br>And serve for fight and dinner both.<br>In it he melted lead for bullets,<br>To shoot at foes, and sometimes pullets,<br>To whom he bore so fell a grutch,<br>He ne'er gave quarter t' any such.<br>The trenchant blade, Toledo trusty,<br>For want of fighting, was grown rusty,<br>And ate unto itself, for lack<br>Of somebody to hew and hack.<br>The peaceful scabbard where it dwelt<br>The rancour of its edge had felt;<br>For of the lower end two handful <br>It had devour'd, 'twas so manful;<br>And so much scorn'd to lurk in case,<br>As if it durst not shew its face.<br>In many desperate attempts,<br>Of warrants, exigents, contempts,<br>It had appear'd with courage bolder<br>Than Serjeant BUM invading shoulder.<br>Oft had it ta'en possession,<br>And pris'ners too, or made them run.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">This sword a dagger had t' his page,<br>That was but little for his age;<br>And therefore waited on him so,<br>As dwarfs upon Knights Errant do.<br>It was a serviceable dudgeon,<br>Either for fighting or for drudging.<br>When it had stabb'd, or broke a head,<br>It would scrape trenchers, or chip bread;<br>Toast cheese or bacon; tho' it were<br>To bait a mouse-trap, 'twould not care.<br>'Twould make clean shoes; and in the earth<br>Set leeks and onions, and so forth.<br>It had been 'prentice to a brewer,<br>Where this and more it did endure;<br>But left the trade, as many more<br>Have lately done on the same score. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">In th' holsters, at his saddle-bow,<br>Two aged pistols he did stow,<br>Among the surplus of such meat<br>As in his hose he cou'd not get.<br>These wou'd inveigle rats with th' scent,<br>To forage when the cocks were bent;<br>And sometimes catch 'em with a snap<br>As cleverly as th' ablest trap.<br>They were upon hard duty still,<br>And ev'ry night stood centinel,<br>To guard the magazine i' th' hose<br>From two-legg'd and from four-legg'd foes.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thus clad and fortify'd, Sir Knight<br>From peaceful home set forth to fight.<br>But first with nimble, active force<br>He got on th' outside of his horse;<br>For having but one stirrup ty'd<br>T' his saddle, on the further side,<br>It was so short, h' had much ado<br>To reach it with his desp'rate toe: <br>But, after many strains and heaves,<br>He got up to the saddle-eaves,<br>From whence he vaulted into th' seat,<br>With so much vigour, strength and heat,<br>That he had almost tumbled over<br>With his own weight, but did recover,<br>By laying hold on tail and main,<br>Which oft he us'd instead of rein.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">But now we talk of mounting steed,<br>Before we further do proceed,<br>It doth behoves us to say something<br>Of that which bore our valiant bumkin.<br>The beast was sturdy, large, and tall,<br>With mouth of meal, and eyes of wall.<br>I wou'd say eye; for h' had but one,<br>As most agree; tho' some say none.<br>He was well stay'd; and in his gait<br>Preserv'd a grave, majestick state.<br>At spur or switch no more he skipt,<br>Or mended pace, than Spaniard whipt;<br>And yet so fiery, he wou'd bound<br>As if he griev'd to touch the ground:<br>That CAESAR's horse, who, as fame goes<br>Had corns upon his feet and toes,<br>Was not by half so tender hooft,<br>Nor trod upon the ground so soft.<br>And as that beast would kneel and stoop<br>(Some write) to take his rider up,<br>So HUDIBRAS his ('tis well known)<br>Wou'd often do to set him down.<br>We shall not need to say what lack<br>Of leather was upon his back;<br>For that was hidden under pad,<br>And breech of Knight, gall'd full as bad.<br>His strutting ribs on both sides show'd<br>Like furrows he himself had plow'd;<br>For underneath the skirt of pannel,<br>'Twixt ev'ry two there was a channel<br>His draggling tail hung in the dirt,<br>Which on his rider he wou'd flurt,<br>Still as his tender side he prick'd,<br>With arm'd heel, or with unarm'd kick'd:<br>For HUDIBRAS wore but one spur;<br>As wisely knowing, cou'd he stir<br>To active trot one side of's horse,<br>The other wou'd not hang an arse.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">A squire he had, whose name was RALPH,<br>That in th' adventure went his half:<br>Though writers, for more stately tone,<br>Do call him RALPHO; 'tis all one;<br>And when we can with metre safe,<br>We'll call him so; if not, plain RALPH:<br>(For rhyme the rudder is of verses,<br>With which like ships they steer their courses.)<br>An equal stock of wit and valour <br>He had laid in; by birth a taylor.<br>The mighty Tyrian Queen, that gain'd<br>With subtle shreds a tract of land,<br>Did leave it with a castle fair<br>To his great ancestor, her heir.<br>From him descended cross-legg'd Knights,<br>Fam'd for their faith, and warlike fights<br>Against the bloody cannibal,<br>Whom they destroy'd both great and small.<br>This sturdy Squire, he had, as well <br>As the bold Trojan Knight, seen Hell;<br>Not with a counterfeited pass<br>Of golden bough, but true gold-lace.<br>His knowledge was not far behind<br>The Knight's, but of another kind,<br>And he another way came by 't:<br>Some call it GIFTS, and some NEW-LIGHT;<br>A liberal art, that costs no pains<br>Of study, industry, or brains.<br>His wit was sent him for a token,<br>But in the carriage crack'd and broken.<br>Like commendation nine-pence crook'd,<br>With - To and from my love - it look'd.<br>He ne'er consider'd it, as loth<br>To look a gift-horse in the mouth; <br>And very wisely wou'd lay forth<br>No more upon it than 'twas worth.<br>But as he got it freely, so<br>He spent it frank and freely too.<br>For Saints themselves will sometimes be <br>Of gifts, that cost them nothing, free.<br>By means of this, with hem and cough,<br>Prolongers to enlighten'd stuff,<br>He cou'd deep mysteries unriddle<br>As easily as thread a needle. <br>For as of vagabonds we say,<br>That they are ne'er beside their way;<br>Whate'er men speak by this New Light,<br>Still they are sure to be i' th' right.<br>'Tis a dark-lanthorn of the Spirit,<br>Which none see by but those that bear it:<br>A light that falls down from on high,<br>For spiritual trades to cozen by<br>An Ignis Fatuus, that bewitches<br>And leads men into pools and ditches,<br>To make them dip themselves, and sound<br>For Christendom in dirty pond<br>To dive like wild-fowl for salvation,<br>And fish to catch regeneration.<br>This light inspires and plays upon <br>The nose of Saint like bag-pipe drone,<br>And speaks through hollow empty soul,<br>As through a trunk, or whisp'ring hole,<br>Such language as no mortal ear<br>But spirit'al eaves-droppers can hear:<br>So PHOEBUS, or some friendly muse,<br>Into small poets song infuse,<br>Which they at second-hand rehearse,<br>Thro' reed or bag-pipe, verse for verse.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thus RALPH became infallible <br>As three or four-legg'd oracle,<br>The ancient cup, or modern chair;<br>Spoke truth point-blank, tho' unaware.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">For MYSTICK LEARNING, wond'rous able<br>In magick Talisman and Cabal,<br>Whose primitive tradition reaches<br>As far as ADAM'S first green breeches:<br>Deep-sighted in intelligences,<br>Ideas, atoms, influences;<br>And much of Terra Incognita,<br>Th' intelligible world, cou'd say:<br>A deep OCCULT PHILOSOPHER,<br>As learn'd as the wild Irish are,<br>Or Sir AGRIPPA; for profound<br>And solid lying much renown'd. <br>He ANTHROPOSOPHUS, and FLOUD,<br>And JACOB BEHMEN understood:<br>Knew many an amulet and charm,<br>That wou'd do neither good nor harm:<br>In ROSY-CRUCIAN lore as learned,<br>As he that Vere adeptus earned.<br>He understood the speech of birds<br>As well as they themselves do words;<br>Cou'd tell what subtlest parrots mean,<br>That speak, and think contrary clean: <br>What Member 'tis of whom they talk,<br>When they cry, Rope, and walk, knave, walk.<br>He'd extract numbers out of matter,<br>And keep them in a glass, like water;<br>Of sov'reign pow'r to make men wise;<br>For drop'd in blear thick-sighted eyes,<br>They'd make them see in darkest night<br>Like owls, tho' purblind in the light.<br>By help of these (as he profess'd)<br>He had First Matter seen undress'd:<br>He took her naked all alone,<br>Before one rag of form was on.<br>The Chaos too he had descry'd,<br>And seen quite thro', or else he ly'd:<br>Not that of paste-board which men shew <br>For groats, at fair of Barthol'mew;<br>But its great grandsire, first o' the name,<br>Whence that and REFORMATION came;<br>Both cousin-germans, and right able<br>T' inveigle and draw in the rabble.<br>But Reformation was, some say,<br>O' th' younger house to Puppet-play.<br>He cou'd foretel whats'ever was<br>By consequence to come to pass;<br>As death of great men, alterations,<br>Diseases, battles, inundations.<br>All this, without th' eclipse o' th' sun,<br>Or dreadful comet, he hath done,<br>By inward light; away as good,<br>And easy to be understood; <br>But with more lucky hit than those<br>That use to make the stars depose,<br>Like Knights o' th' post, and falsely charge<br>Upon themselves what others forge:<br>As if they were consenting to <br>All mischiefs in the world men do:<br>Or, like the Devil, did tempt and sway 'em<br>To rogueries, and then betray 'em.<br>They'll search a planet's house, to know<br>Who broke and robb'd a house below:<br>Examine VENUS, and the MOON,<br>Who stole a thimble or a spoon;<br>And tho' they nothing will confess,<br>Yet by their very looks can guess,<br>And tell what guilty aspect bodes, <br>Who stole, and who receiv'd the goods.<br>They'll question MARS, and, by his look,<br>Detect who 'twas that nimm'd a cloke:<br>Make MERCURY confess, and 'peach<br>Those thieves which he himself did teach. <br>They'll find, i' th' physiognomies<br>O' th' planets, all men's destinies.;<br>Like him that took the doctor's bill,<br>And swallow'd it instead o' th' pill<br>Cast the nativity o' th' question, <br>And from positions to be guess'd on,<br>As sure as it' they knew the moment<br>Of natives birth, tell what will come on't.<br>They'll feel the pulses of the stars,<br>To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs; <br>And tell what crisis does divine<br>The rot in sheep, or mange in swine<br>In men, what gives or cures the itch;<br>What makes them cuckolds, poor or rich;<br>What gains or loses, hangs or saves; <br>What makes men great, what fools or knaves,<br>But not what wise; for only of those<br>The stars (they say) cannot dispose,<br>No more than can the Astrologians.<br>There they say right, and like true Trojans.<br>This RALPHO knew, and therefore took<br>The other course, of which we spoke.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thus was the accomplish'd Squire endu'd<br>With gifts and knowledge, per'lous shrew'd.<br>Never did trusty Squire with Knight,<br>Or Knight with Squire, e'er jump more right. <br>Their arms and equipage did fit,<br>As well as virtues, parts, and wit.<br>Their valours too were of a rate;<br>And out they sally'd at the gate.<br>Few miles on horseback had they jogged,<br>But Fortune unto them turn'd dogged;<br>For they a sad adventure met,<br>Of which anon we mean to treat;<br>But ere we venture to unfold <br>Atchievements so resolv'd and bold,<br>We shou'd as learned poets use,<br>Invoke th' assistance of some muse:<br>However, criticks count it sillier<br>Than jugglers talking to familiar.<br>We think 'tis no great matter which<br>They're all alike; yet we shall pitch<br>On one that fits our purpose most<br>Whom therefore thus do we accost:</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Thou that with ale, or viler liquors, <br>Did'st inspire WITHERS, PRYN, and VICKARS,<br>And force them, tho' it was in spite<br>Of nature and their stars, to write;<br>Who, as we find in sullen writs,<br>And cross-grain'd works of modern wits, <br>With vanity, opinion, want,<br>The wonder of the ignorant,<br>The praises of the author, penn'd<br>B' himself, or wit-insuring friend;<br>The itch of picture in the front,<br>With bays and wicked rhyme upon't;<br>All that is left o' th' forked hill,<br>To make men scribble without skill;<br>Canst make a poet spite of fate,<br>And teach all people to translate,<br>Tho' out of languages in which<br>They understand no part of speech;<br>Assist me but this once, I 'mplore,<br>And I shall trouble thee no more.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">In western clime there is a town,<br>To those that dwell therein well known;<br>Therefore there needs no more be said here,<br>We unto them refer our reader;<br>For brevity is very good,<br>When w' are, or are not, understood. <br>To this town people did repair,<br>On days of market, or of fair,<br>And, to crack'd fiddle, and hoarse tabor,<br>In merriment did drudge and labor.<br>But now a sport more formidable <br>Had rak'd together village rabble:<br>'Twas an old way of recreating,<br>Which learned butchers call bear-baiting:<br>A bold advent'rous exercise,<br>With ancient heroes in high prize:<br>For authors do affirm it came<br>From Isthmian or Nemean game:<br>Others derive it from the bear<br>That's fix'd in northern hemisphere,<br>And round about the pole does make<br>A circle like a bear at stake,<br>That at the chain's end wheels about,<br>And overturns the rabble-rout.<br>For after solemn proclamation,<br>In the bear's name, (as is the fashion,<br>According to the law of arms,<br>To keep men from inglorious harms,)<br>That none presume to come so near<br>As forty foot of stake of bear,<br>If any yet be so fool-hardy,<br>T' expose themselves to vain jeopardy,<br>If they come wounded off, and lame,<br>No honour's got by such a maim;<br>Altho' the bear gain much, b'ing bound<br>In honour to make good his ground,<br>When he's engag'd, and takes no notice,<br>If any press upon him, who 'tis;<br>But let's them know, at their own cost,<br>That he intends to keep his post.<br>This to prevent, and other harms, <br>Which always wait on feats of arms,<br>(For in the hurry of a fray<br>'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way,)<br>Thither the Knight his course did steer,<br>To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear;<br>As he believ'd he was bound to do<br>In conscience, and commission too;<br>And therefore thus bespoke the Squire.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">We that are wisely mounted higher<br>Than constables in curule wit,<br>When on tribunal bench we sit,<br>Like speculators shou'd foresee,<br>From Pharos of authority,<br>Portended mischiefs farther then<br>Low Proletarian tything-men:<br>And therefore being inform'd by bruit,<br>That dog and bear are to dispute;<br>For so of late men fighting name,<br>Because they often prove the same;<br>(For where the first does hap to be, <br>The last does coincidere);<br>Quantum in nobis, have thought good,<br>To save th' expence of Christian blood,<br>And try if we, by mediation<br>Of treaty and accommodation, <br>Can end the quarrel and compose<br>The bloody duel without blows.<br>Are not our liberties, our lives,<br>The laws, religion and our wives,<br>Enough at once to lie at stake <br>For Cov'nant and the Cause's sake?<br>But in that quarrel dogs and bears,<br>As well as we must venture theirs<br>This feud, by Jesuits invented,<br>By evil counsel is fomented: <br>There is a MACHIAVILIAN plot,<br>(Tho' ev'ry Nare olfact is not,)<br>A deep design in't, to divide<br>The well-affected that confide,<br>By setting brother against brother, <br>To claw and curry one another.<br>Have we not enemies plus satis,<br>That Cane & Angue pejus hate us?<br>And shall we turn our fangs and claws<br>Upon our own selves, without cause?<br>That some occult design doth lie<br>In bloody cynarctomachy,<br>Is plain enough to him that knows<br>How Saints lead brothers by the nose.<br>I wish myself a pseudo-prophet, <br>But sure some mischief will come of it;<br>Unless by providential wit,<br>Or force, we averruncate it.<br>For what design, what interest,<br>Can beast have to encounter beast? <br>They fight for no espoused cause,<br>Frail privilege, fundamental laws,<br>Not for a thorough reformation,<br>Nor covenant, nor protestation,<br>Nor liberty of consciences,<br>Nor Lords and Commons ordinances;<br>Nor for the church, nor for church-lands,<br>To get them in their own no hands;<br>Nor evil counsellors to bring<br>To justice that seduce the King; <br>Nor for the worship of us men,<br>Though we have done as much for them.<br>Th' AEgyptians worshipp'd dogs, and for<br>Their faith made internecine war.<br>Others ador'd a rat, and some <br>For that church suffer'd martyrdom.<br>The Indians fought for the truth<br>Of th' elephant and monkey's tooth,<br>And many, to defend that faith,<br>Fought it out mordicus to death.<br>But no beast ever was so slight,<br>For man, as for his God, to fight.<br>They have more wit, alas! and know<br>Themselves and us better than so.<br>But we, who only do infuse <br>The rage in them like Boute-feus;<br>'Tis our example that instils<br>In them th' infection of our ills.<br>For, as some late philosophers.<br>Have well observ'd, beasts, that converse <br>With man, take after him, as hogs<br>Get pigs all the year, and bitches dogs.<br>Just so, by our example, cattle<br>Learn to give one another battle.<br>We read, in NERO's time, the heathen,<br>When they destroy'd the Christian brethren,<br>Did sew them in the skins of bears,<br>And then set dogs about their ears:<br>From thence, no doubt, th' invention came<br>Of this lewd antichristian game. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">To this, quoth RALPHO, Verily<br>The point seems very plain to me.<br>It is an antichristian game,<br>Unlawful both in thing and name.<br>First, for the name: the word, bear-baiting<br>Is carnal, and of man's creating:<br>For certainly there's no such word<br>In all the scripture on record;<br>Therefore unlawful, and a sin;<br>And so is (secondly) the thing. <br>A vile assembly 'tis, that can<br>No more be prov'd by scripture than<br>Provincial, classic, national;<br>Mere human-creature cobwebs all.<br>Thirdly, it is idolatrous; <br>For when men run a whoring thus<br>With their inventions, whatsoe'er<br>The thing be, whether dog or bear,<br>It is idolatrous and pagan,<br>No less than worshipping of DAGON. </div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS, I smell a rat;<br>RALPHO, thou dost prevaricate:<br>For though the thesis which thou lay'st<br>Be true ad amussim, as thou say'st;<br>(For that bear-baiting should appear <br>Jure divino lawfuller<br>Than synods are, thou dost deny,<br>Totidem verbis; so do I);<br>Yet there's a fallacy in this;<br>For if by sly HOMAEOSIS, <br>Tussis pro crepitu, an art<br>Under a cough to slur a f-t<br>Thou wou'dst sophistically imply,<br>Both are unlawful, I deny.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And I (quoth RALPHO) do not doubt<br>But bear-baiting may be made out,<br>In gospel-times, as lawful as is<br>Provincial or parochial classis;<br>And that both are so near of kin,<br>And like in all, as well as sin,<br>That put them in a bag, and shake 'em,<br>Yourself o' th' sudden would mistake 'em,<br>And not know which is which, unless<br>You measure by their wickedness:<br>For 'tis not hard t'imagine whether <br>O' th' two is worst; tho' I name neither.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Quoth HUDIBRAS, Thou offer'st much,<br>But art not able to keep touch.<br>Mira de lente, as 'tis i' th' adage,<br>Id est, to make a leek a cabbage; <br>Thou'lt be at best but such a bull,<br>Or shear-swine, all cry, and no wool;<br>For what can synods have at all<br>With bear that's analogical?<br>Or what relation has debating <br>Of church-affairs with bear-baiting?<br>A just comparison still is<br>Of things ejusdem generis;<br>And then what genus rightly doth<br>Include and comprehend them both? <br>If animal both of us may<br>As justly pass for bears as they;<br>For we are animals no less,<br>Altho' of different specieses.<br>But, RALPHO, this is not fit place<br>Nor time to argue out the case:<br>For now the field is not far off,<br>Where we must give the world a proof<br>Of deeds, not words, and such as suit<br>Another manner of dispute; <br>A controversy that affords<br>Actions for arguments, not words;<br>Which we must manage at a rate<br>Of prowess and conduct adequate<br>To what our place and fame doth promise, <br>And all the godly expect from us,<br>Nor shall they be deceiv'd, unless<br>We're slurr'd and outed by success;<br>Success, the mark no mortal wit,<br>Or surest hand can always hit:<br>For whatsoe'er we perpetrate,<br>We do but row, we're steer'd by Fate,<br>Which in success oft disinherits,<br>For spurious causes, noblest merits.<br>Great actions are not always true sons <br>Of great and mighty resolutions;<br>Nor do th' boldest attempts bring forth<br>Events still equal to their worth;<br>But sometimes fail, and, in their stead,<br>Fortune and cowardice succeed. <br>Yet we have no great cause to doubt;<br>Our actions still have borne us out;<br>Which tho' they're known to be so ample,<br>We need not copy from example.<br>We're not the only persons durst<br>Attempt this province, nor the first.<br>In northern clime a val'rous Knight<br>Did whilom kill his bear in fght,<br>And wound a fiddler; we have both<br>Of these the objects of our wroth, <br>And equal fame and glory from<br>Th' attempt of victory to come.<br>'Tis sung, there is a valiant Mamaluke<br>In foreign land, yclep'd -<br>To whom we have been oft compar'd <br>For person, parts; address, and beard;<br>Both equally reputed stout,<br>And in the same cause both have fought:<br>He oft in such attempts as these<br>Came off with glory and success; <br>Nor will we fail in th' execution,<br>For want of equal resolution.<br>Honour is like a widow, won<br>With brisk attempt and putting on;<br>With ent'ring manfully, and urging; <br>Not slow approaches, like a virgin.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">'Tis said, as yerst the Phrygian Knight,<br>So ours with rusty steel did smite<br>His Trojan horse, and just as much<br>He mended pace upon the touch; <br>But from his empty stomach groan'd<br>Just as that hollow beast did sound,<br>And angry answer'd from behind,<br>With brandish'd tail and blast of wind.<br>So have I seen, with armed heel, <br>A wight bestride a Common-weal;<br>While still the more he kick'd and spurr'd,<br>The less the sullen jade has stirr'd.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Samuel+Butler">Samuel Butler</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=512560" data-title="Hudibras: Part 1 - Canto I de Samuel Butler" data-description="THE ARGUMENT Sir Hudibras his passing worth, The manner how he sallied forth; His arms and equipage are shown; His horse's virtues, and his own. Th' adventure of the bear and fiddle Is sung, but breaks off in the middle. When civil dudgeon a fi..."></div> </div> </div>

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