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<div style="background:#fff;border:#bbb dashed 1px;padding:5px"><a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=477019" style="color:#000;text-decoration:none"><div style="margin:10px 0"><strong>When I'm Alone</strong></div><div style="margin:10px 0">When I'm alone <br> I want to be with someone, <br>and when I am with someone, <br>I'm twice as alone. <br> My unhappiness <br> is a snake-pit <br>I dangle my heart over <br> like a mouse by the tail<br> and when joy does show up, <br>a butterfly with resplendent wings, <br> it slowly adapts its palette <br> to the slag and soot and oilslicks <br>of the black orchard <br> shedding its petals everywhere <br> like micro-eclipses in hell.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And all the poems <br> I gathered like asters <br> from the autumn starfields, <br>all these skies that opened above me <br> as I walked down a long road alone <br> in darkness and light, <br>obedient to the wind and the shadows <br> that whispered move on, move on <br> beyond the journey and the arrival, <br>are merely a leaf, <br> a tattoo on the back <br> of a serpent of water<br>sliding downstream <br>like rain like mind in search of a course<br> that isn't the cracked map <br>of last year's desiccated creek bed. </div><div style="margin:10px 0"> My body is scarred, my heart <br> a voodoo doll <br>pierced by a thousand fangs <br> as it burns like a bee <br> in a rose of heretical fire<br>for refusing to turn my honey into venom<br> or conform to any magic but its own.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> And there is no heaven <br>to appeal to as a last resort. <br> I endure what I endure <br> for the dignity <br>of my indefensible humanity, <br> knowing the pain <br> that sometimes turns my nerves <br>into stand-ins for the lightning <br> that keeps crackling my cosmic egg<br> like the paint of my last masterpiece, <br>also schools my blood like the wine <br> I pour out joyously <br> into the empty goblet of the mystery <br>whenever I host the moon.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Life is neither fair nor unfair <br> and the seeing, a vision, a poem<br>is always a bird <br> born and breaking free of your eyes<br> opening like a threshold <br>like a flower <br> like a crack of lightning, <br> like the world that hangs, <br>a veil of water, <br> from the ends of your eyelashes now.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Love is great, love is much, maybe all, <br>and the being here incomparable, <br> and the mystery always<br> whispering in a field beyond its own compass, <br>and the wind that tastes of birds, <br> and the light that tastes of flowers, <br> and the fountains of darkness <br>where God washes the stars off her face, <br> will always urge the extinguished branch <br> of an astonished pen <br>to blossom into a poet.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> Are the dead any less creative <br> than the living? <br>If they don't come from anywhere <br> how can you ask where they go? <br> If everything is the unborn energy <br>of a dancing god <br> with worlds in her blood<br> how can even a blade of grass perish? </div><div style="margin:10px 0">This world, this life, <br> this ungraspable now of awareness <br> is the passion of a goddess, not a passing thought.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">Beyond this riot of blessing and anathema, <br> this racket of loss and acquisition, <br> of birth and murder, <br>there is a silence <br> deeper than the space <br> between breaths, <br>an abyss without longing<br> that knows you from within <br> as the fire knows the flame, <br>or a woman, <br>the haste of her lover.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> If you think you know something, <br>cast the thought down <br> as you would a venomous serpent <br> or let it strike; <br>even the poisons <br> can unspool you like wine<br> in this delirium of life.</div><div style="margin:10px 0">And isn't it more than could have been asked for <br> just to be here <br> under a sky <br>spun finer than the silk of diamonds, <br> breathing the stars in and out <br> like trees? </div><div style="margin:10px 0">I have been silently and eloquently <br> stupefied by the wonder <br> all my life; <br>and urgently moved to explore <br> the great ocean of awareness<br> that intrigued me to experience myself<br>as the world, <br>I put to sea with a leaf for a sail.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> We must become <br>more intimate with our vastness, learn<br> to listen to the whisper<br> that has always been us <br>in our own depths.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> We have depleted our preludes of awe, <br> the spirit slags in the pit mines <br>of our complacent arrogance.<br> Our own creations <br> amaze and lull us away <br>from the sustaining abundance <br> of what was given spontaneously. </div><div style="margin:10px 0"> What do we know? <br>Why water? <br> Why stars? <br> Who is it that asks the question? </div><div style="margin:10px 0">The fluid continuum of the mystery <br> is a waterclock <br> and every receptacle, an era. <br>And science can advance the shadows of life, <br> but the answers eventually fall like leaves <br> and no one knows how to account<br>for the stars that root in the duff.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"> What each of us sees <br> when we see deeper than blood <br>over the course of a lifetime <br> are the eyes of the goddess <br> when she looks at us.<br>What we are is our own creation, <br> curse and blessing alike. <br> You created heaven. <br>You created hell. <br> Experience is just the metal <br> shaped on the anvil of our hearts <br>into edges that kill like life, <br> the plough drawn from the stone, <br> not the sword, <br>or blades behind the door <br> that wound like serpents. </div><div style="margin:10px 0"> You can enlighten or eclipse <br>the iron in the ore <br> by pouring it <br> into a heart or a bullet. <br>You can make a nail <br> and build a house <br> or crucify a teacher.</div><div style="margin:10px 0"><br /></a><br />poem by <a href="http://en.citatepedia.ro/by.php?a=Patrick+White">Patrick White</a><div class=q> <img src="https://www.citatepedia.ro/g/32share.png" style="float:left" alt="Share"> <script type="text/javascript" src="//s7.addthis.com/js/300/addthis_widget.js#pubid=citatepedia" async="async"></script><div style="display:inline-block" class="addthis_sharing_toolbox" data-url="http://en.citatepedia.ro/comments.php?id=477019" data-title="When I'm Alone de Patrick White" data-description="When I'm alone I want to be with someone, and when I am with someone, I'm twice as alone. My unhappiness is a snake-pit I dangle my heart over like a mouse by the tail and when joy does show up, a butterfly with resplendent wings, ..."></div> </div> </div>
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